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splorff -> RE: Why all the hostility? (7/12/2010 2:06:40 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Years ago on bondage.com the rankings included the term slut. One woman when she had made the 5000 posts or whatever was needed to gain that put up a post asking that this line under her name be changed as she found it offensive. Many of the regular posters were like you, upbraiding her finding such a term offensive when it was obviously being used in a joking manner.
Eventually, and with great bravery she shared the fact that her objection to it came from years of early abuse by her father who called her this when he abused her.
My point is that she could easily have not shared this and continued getting a great deal of censure from other people who said she had no right to find this offensive. The truth was far different. The fact that no one knew why she found this offensive was unimportant. It was very offensive to her and no one else had the right to diminish her feelings by saying, as you did, that she was being offended by nothing.
The poor woman. Now here is someone who genuinely was offended. Even without such an appaling history, I think its very inappropriate to address a woman so - unless she like it of course,knows you well, and has spoken of her wish to be addressed as such.
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