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RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/10/2010 11:25:29 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: yearning4You

Who is the one that is messed up the worst? Him for spanking and beating her till she is black and blue, or her for letting him?


yearning4You,

Speaking as one that bruises quite well, I'll confess that being marked isn't bothersome. I find it very arousing in all truth. It lends a certain air of etching that I find appealing. However, to suggest that I've been beat, well, that has a different connotation from how I engage. My enjoyment of physical stimulation that leads to a hue adjustment doesn't mean I've been beaten. But it probably means he struck me hard enough to give me something wonderful to remember later on.

~porcelaine


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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/11/2010 1:50:26 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: yearning4You

Who is the one that is messed up the worst? Him for spanking and beating her till she is black and blue, or her for letting him?


i dont see black and blue i see rosey red - anyway - why is it any of youre business - im presuming youre talking about someone else, do you have their permission to use their picture as youre avatar - or is this some sort of newbie spanko-wanko drama again -

edited to add:  sorry, thats youre pic - so now i have to ask why its ok for you to be spanked till youre rosey red but it isnt ok for someone else to be spanked till their black and blue - same proclivities, different levels and reactions.

i can go from rosey red to black and blue and theres really no difference in the end - its still a spanking she submitted to

< Message edited by lally2 -- 7/11/2010 2:18:17 AM >


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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/11/2010 6:33:46 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
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Hello there!

I think the thing that stands out from your post is your apparent presumption that one or other (or both) parties needs to be "messed up" in order to enjoy CP.

I simply don't believe this is true - I'd say that most people on CM (notwithstanding that most of us are a little "quirky") aren't messed up - they're just kinky. There's likely to be a strong reaction to the idea that "you have to be messed up to enjoy CP..." because this is stereotype that the BDSM community has been trying to change for years now.

It is true that in the community you'll find the odd person who is "messed up" (although you can do a quick search on these boards to see how much debate there is about what constitutes "messed up") and that person may be a Dom (and may be a dangerous sadist) or a Sub (who might be a danger to him or herself)... but the community is kinda built on the idea that what we do isn't "messed up"... it's a genuine, sane, healthy expression of our sexuality.

I'd add that we're a very broad community with a whole range of needs/wants, expectations and desires - For instance, I personally regard the whole D/s capitalisation thing to be way more messed up than two sane consenting adults agreeing to indulge in a little CP.. ;-)

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/11/2010 6:42:39 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: yearning4You

Who is the one that is messed up the worst? Him for spanking and beating her till she is black and blue, or her for letting him?
as long as it is consensual...neither is messed up. The one that criticizes however.....


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RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/11/2010 7:26:15 AM   
Drifa


Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline
You know, I consent to a lot of things. But even though I had a lot of fun doing them, sometimes I am marked up in ways that are on the "no no list". Generally, I don't ever want a blood blister, broken skin, marks that are visible in work clothes, or bruising on the sitting parts such that it is difficult or impossible to do my RL day job.

I trust my Lady to never get carried away and mark me up due to being out of control. If she thinks she's getting past where she can adequately control how much or where she's marking, we take a break or she shifts to something else, or she takes that opportunity to shift to playing with ice or something.

However, sometimes things slip. I may have struggled in such a way as to move out of position and got an unintended target in the way of a blow. She may have gotten the angle just a wee tad wrong and wraparound or the tip of the toy may have dug deeper than intended. Heck, even vanilla things happen - we accidentally have blacked one another's eyes with a misplaced elbow once each over the course of 15 years just rolling over in bed while doing nuthin' but sleeping. We also had a "cat jumped into the middle of her hiney with all claws out" oopsie in which my nipple was between her teeth at the time (ouchie!) that took a couple of stitches.

The moral of the story:

(1) If you can't trust your dominant to be in control while performing play that may leave bruises or marks, you have a problem. You need to communicate about it and together develop strategies that will avoid the issue.

(2) Sometimes oopsies happen. Ice the injury, take vitamin C and K supplements, apply vitamin E and aloe to the marks.


< Message edited by Drifa -- 7/11/2010 7:27:47 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/11/2010 7:29:47 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: yearning4You

Who is the one that is messed up the worst? Him for spanking and beating her till she is black and blue, or her for letting him?


You have reached this site in error, clearly.

Here is the site you were looking for. Enjoy.

(in reply to yearning4You)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/11/2010 7:54:26 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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Speaking as a masochistic submissive - it has to be the dominant - because i can't see my way to beating someone, therefore beating someone has to be wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Question answered, problem solved, next issue please?

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/11/2010 8:01:31 AM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline
Why is that a sign that someone is messed up? They aren't hurting anyone else by participating, it is completely consensual behavior between the two.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/11/2010 8:07:55 AM   
whiteslavebitch


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Joined: 9/10/2007
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You don't know how glad I was not to be sipping my coffee right when I opened that link.

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formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/11/2010 8:50:22 AM   
Frankseas


Posts: 61
Joined: 1/16/2010
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I think maybe the OP was jealous that it wasnt his ass that was all warm burning and red and throbbing with pulses of pain shooting thru it causing his passions to grow and grow until...........Well?? Some know it on here!

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/11/2010 9:52:28 AM   
AQuietSimpleMan


Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

I would love to get a spanking!  I just need to find Mr. Right to give it to me!


How many times do I have to tell you that there is room in our bed.... It's a Euro King.

Just get down here and you can have all the Mr. & Mrs. Right you want.

QSM

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/11/2010 11:53:51 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
Did you discuss your feelings about marks ahead of time?
If this was your first time, then neither of you could know how easily you bruise.

What was wrong is agreeing to play heavily with someone you don't know if you knew you wanted to avoid such a result.


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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/11/2010 12:07:12 PM   
Nineveh


Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yearning4You

Who is the one that is messed up the worst? Him for spanking and beating her till she is black and blue, or her for letting him?


You, for worrying about other people's kinks. 

(in reply to yearning4You)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/11/2010 12:10:03 PM   
Nineveh


Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

quote:

ORIGINAL: alatheia
As long as its consensual, its good in my book.

It may be good in your book, but watch out for criminal (not civil) prosecution on 2nd degree assault which is a felony in most jurisdictions!  3rd degree = NO intent to harm.  2nd degree = intent to harm.

Consent is not a defense.

Criminal prosecution is when police say it's intent to harm, and off you go!

Just be wary.

<edited for gooder grammer and speling.> 


A good reason to keep the beating on ass and back where it can be easily covered. (chest and belly too, that just takes a bit more skill so as not to do real damage)  Facial bruising is almost never a good idea, arms and legs should be reserved for cooler times of year when the masochist in question can comfortable wear long sleeves and pants.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/12/2010 6:30:13 PM   
letmebefree


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/4/2010
Status: offline
I have all the answers i need. i like spanking and i like beatings. i like the bruises. Some say i am a freak for wanting it, but i do like it.
thank you all.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/12/2010 6:45:58 PM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yearning4You
Who is the one that is messed up the worst? Him for spanking and beating her till she is black and blue, or her for letting him?


The one who posts that question on a BDSM message board

(in reply to yearning4You)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/12/2010 7:12:59 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
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It's okay, we're all freaks here. Welcome to the boards.

pam

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/12/2010 7:22:15 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
If it makes every one feel better I'll cop to it.

It's all my fault ok?


Just as long as I can do it again before I repent... and again...... and again...... and again.... and....


Well... you get the idea.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/12/2010 7:43:32 PM   
jaycie


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

with sadism and m


Neither or both depending on the context.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Spankings and beatings - 7/12/2010 9:49:58 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

My enjoyment of physical stimulation that leads to a hue adjustment doesn't mean I've been beaten. But it probably means he struck me hard enough to give me something wonderful to remember later on.

~porcelaine



DINGA,DINGA,DINGDINGDING!!! We have a WINNER!

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Profile   Post #: 40
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