RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom.

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (Full Version)

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leadership527 -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 10:50:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ishtarr Really... it doesn't become ALL about you until AFTER you've got that collar around her neck. Wow, I'm doing something very, very wrong because it isn't all about me even after the collar. In all seriousness, this is one of the stupidest BDSM memes ever in my not at all humble opinion.

porcelaine -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 10:57:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ishtarr Prior to that, you are still courting a... WOMAN. Not a slave, but a woman. Ishtarr, I disagree. He's courting a woman that he can engage with in an exchange. The latter will have some weight on the things he deems important. I do agree that the idea of relating shouldn't be lost either. However... quote: You are still trying to convince HER that you are the right guy for her. That you're better than the next guy. That you're different than the next guy. That's YOU are going to make HER feel special. No, he isn't doing that for yours truly. He's showing me what he brings to the table and I'm making a determination based on my wants, needs, and person if we're compatible. He needn't prove one iota. Either he has the goods or he doesn't. I don't want impressions and anything else that serves to show me who and what he is. I'm astute and capable of gleaning those things on my own without the theatrics thrown in. quote: If you can't do that, then sorry dude, she IS going to move on to the next guy who CAN make her feel special... If I didn't have that before I encountered him I most certainly won't gain it afterward. That's inborn in my opinion. ~porcelaine

AquaticSub -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 10:58:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissSepphora1 I'm just curious why certain subs tend to take whatever open forum they can find to chat about random crap. Do you need to find a question to chat about bunnies and piercings every topic turns into a 10 page discussion about nothing. We do this thing called having a conversation. When the topic isn't strong enough to maintain interest, it drifts to a new one. Why is that certain people have failed to notice that it wasn't just subs doing the chatting? quote: so you just enjoy humiliating people and putting them down? or do you enjoy humiliating "DOM" types? I am one of those people here looking for "THE ONE", but I'm not gonna go giving him shit because i feel threatened by him. Nope, you just give others shit and ignore that Doms do a lot of side convo chatting as well. I guess you are threatened by us, since that is the logic you are using. quote: so just to recap, subs on this thread are going out of their way to be insulting and humiliating to a dom type who asked a question? i mean, who ever said there were no stupid questions apparently never posted on cm, because i am sure they would have been educated otherwise. Go back and read the OP. He didn't ask a question, he made a huge rant whose point was to tell random people what they are looking for. For that matter, really, why does it matter to you that he's a dom type? Does he get extra points? A bonus to charm cause he can swing a flogger? quote: and of course i am not a "dominate" although i know you were using he word to be smart and insulting. and of course you don't know what i feel is acceptable or not!!!! But you magically know that we feel threatened by the OP and the male doms aren't really here to joke around, just to flirt with us. Seriously people, if I'm going to be scolded by total strangers, it's gonna take a better argument on why I should bad. Unless of course it comes from the Mods. [:D]

VaguelyCurious -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:07:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub But you magically know that we feel threatened by the OP and the male doms aren't really here to joke around, just to flirt with us. 'Male Doms'? Are Aylee and I invisible or something? I feel...so left out [:(] teehee

DarkSteven -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:10:48 AM)
Stand aside, little lady, and watch how us male Doms flirt. [8D]

AquaticSub -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:10:54 AM)
Ummm... you don't count till you've beaten my ass? Yeah... I think I like this idea. After all, I am about to be single again! [:D]

VaguelyCurious -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:20:31 AM)
Little lady? Little lady? Have a seat before your knees give out, old man, and watch how it's done. [SexyVoice][LeanForwardToExposeCleavage] Hey Aqua! I don't count until I've beaten your arse? Well how about I make you count strokes while I beat your arse-does that mean I count even more? [/SexyVoice][/LeanForwardToExposeCleavage]

hlen5 -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:24:30 AM)
".......Especially when subs are counting up and then told to count down and then get all mixed up and have to start all over....[/quote]Did I ever tell you about the time I made a girl recite her seven times table in the corner of a bar, while I messed around with her ear? It took her eleven tries to complete it. [:D]"......... [/quote] Hot, hot, hot!!

Aylee -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:24:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub For that matter, really, why does it matter to you that he's a dom type? Does he get extra points? A bonus to charm cause he can swing a flogger? This is where I roll a d20, right?

crazyml -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:25:02 AM)
I am weeping tears of happiness at reading this thread - you are all beautiful witty people ( except for the asshat op and ms grumpy thong) :-)

Ishtarr -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:27:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: Ishtarr Really... it doesn't become ALL about you until AFTER you've got that collar around her neck. Wow, I'm doing something very, very wrong because it isn't all about me even after the collar. In all seriousness, this is one of the stupidest BDSM memes ever in my not at all humble opinion. I'm not trying to suggest that it should become all about you after you collar a girl Jeff. Honestly, I think you're right and it's not even possible for it to become all about just one person. However, a lot of people looking for the "total TPE and absolute abject slavery" thing WANT it to become all about the D-type. And we're talking from people on both sides of the kneel here that claim they want that. It's fine if that's what they want to have, although I have my doubts on how realistic it is, but even if that's what you WANT for an end goal, it's still not something you're going to ever GET by starting off with making it all about you. If that's the case, for any of these "absolute slaves" any man would do. ~porcelaine~ I'm not saying he needs to make a girl feel special in the sense that he needs to give her self-esteem. You're absolutely right, she should already have that, and if she doesn't, no man can give it to her. I mean "make her feel special" in the sense that she needs to feel special to him. She needs to feel wanted, desired, admired, sought after, valued, protected, and so on by him. If he can make her feel like he wants her, like she's special to him, she will move on to the guy that can...

Missokyst -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:36:03 AM)
I guess some people might go for the OP's approach, but I don't see a lot of that happening in the world unless the guys got a truck without inside doornobs, and a nice pit in which to keep said slave. I do know at least one woman who thinks nothing of meeting a guy and hooking up for a BJ or a beating.. and then is shocked that one of them stalks her at a later date. Those real slave types are out there.. and thankfully they are FEW and far between. Sadly there are a lot more of the sadistic sort who are seeking them who end up posting whiny threads about "real" And Ishtarr..? Are you sure you are as young as it says? You are one smart cookie. quote: ORIGINAL: Ishtarr it's still not something you're going to ever GET by starting off with making it all about you. If that's the case, for any of these "absolute slaves" any man would do.

DesFIP -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:38:29 AM)
Actually I'm going to disagree that another person can't give me self esteem. Because he has and does. I met The Man five years out of a bad marriage. I didn't date anybody else, I didn't believe anybody would want me. Because just as an abusive person can destroy your self esteem, a good person who makes a point of telling you your positive traits can improve your self esteem. Most women in abusive relationships don't move on until they meet someone else who does tell them positive stuff and makes them feel good about themselves. Because you need that to feel that you don't deserve to be mistreated. As far as the op goes, he's an idiot. The Man is my best friend, my lover, my partner and so on. He's a lot more than just a dom to me. And I'm a lot more than just a sub to him. The fact that the op is so limited he cannot imagine loving a submissive, having her as a friend, trusting her to have his back and so on says a lot about him, all very sad.

AquaticSub -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:38:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious Little lady? Little lady? Have a seat before your knees give out, old man, and watch how it's done. [SexyVoice][LeanForwardToExposeCleavage] Hey Aqua! I don't count until I've beaten your arse? Well how about I make you count strokes while I beat your arse-does that mean I count even more? [/SexyVoice][/LeanForwardToExposeCleavage] Oh yes.... I can start making a tally of domly points. You get enough for you can turn them in for DOM badge. It's like a police badge but instead of a star, it has a bruised ass. [:D]

AquaticSub -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:40:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aylee quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub For that matter, really, why does it matter to you that he's a dom type? Does he get extra points? A bonus to charm cause he can swing a flogger? This is where I roll a d20, right? You have encountered an Internet Troll. Do you roll to avoid or attack? [:D]

LadyPact -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:45:13 AM)
While I loved this original when it was applied in the right context, it didn't especially fit for this situation. Due to this, I trimmed it down some. quote: ORIGINAL: Ishtarr Why would a girl want to be your slave? (In this case, bottom.) What do you have to offer her? What makes you different than every other male Dom (Sadist) looking for the same thing as you are? Why YOU and not the next guy (Casual player)? The red, of course, was added by Me. The original, I believe, had everything to do with casual play, rather than a dynamic. There are some differences in this, but the same analogy can be applied. If someone is a sadist looking for a play partner, you literally are up against everybody else who uses that term to describe yourself. Why does a bottom choose one top over another? Often, it's directly related to their topping skills. It could have something to do with them being familiar with various methods of play. Sometimes, it is because of the friendship angle. It can also be due to reputation. I am agreeing with the premise. It isn't enough to make an account on some website, just say you're a sadist and expect people to flock to you. It doesn't work like that. Doing so only makes you another top in the sadist pool. Sitting back and saying, "I'm a sadist, why don't people want to play" isn't going to cut it.

porcelaine -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:46:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ishtarr I mean "make her feel special" in the sense that she needs to feel special to him. She needs to feel wanted, desired, admired, sought after, valued, protected, and so on by him. If he can make her feel like he wants her, like she's special to him, she will move on to the guy that can... Ishtarr, Thank you for explaining your point of view. I consider care taking to be the responsibility of both parties involved. The perspective I took when reading your post was the initial stages of becoming acquainted. I believe a sincere expression of interest is a good starting point. The other attributes are things we grow into as time elapses. I'll readily admit that my partners are giving men that take pride in being good to and good for me. But they exhibited those traits from the beginning. If that changed without good cause I'd definitely have issues. But I'm not a new fangled creation of slavery that's completely devoid of wants, desires, needs, etc. I am a woman that delights in pleasing her man. And that includes being his possession. But the latter didn't negate my humanity or want for fulfillment. I believe the two coalesce when experienced with the right person. ~porcelaine

Aylee -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:53:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: Aylee quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub For that matter, really, why does it matter to you that he's a dom type? Does he get extra points? A bonus to charm cause he can swing a flogger? This is where I roll a d20, right? You have encountered an Internet Troll. Do you roll to avoid or attack? [:D] Attack! Ever since that gazabo incident I always attack!

AquaticSub -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:55:17 AM)
You do 10 damage. The Troll counters with his mighty club of "Nobody understands me!".

myotherself -> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. (7/11/2010 11:56:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml ms grumpy thong this made me giggle! I suppose a 'grumpy thong' would be one who was a total pain in the arse... [:D]

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