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SSC? - 4/15/2006 9:51:11 PM

mixielicous

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From: Boston area, Massachusetts
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i guess this question could be geared towards subs or slaves.

While i have been doing my reading, i have come accross many views of this term, SSC. i can see how it could be beneficial to a purely s/m relationship, but i see many M/s people claiming ssc or bust.

My question is, how does this interact with your submission to your master? wouldnt it imply a sumission that isnt pure?

If you were to take a master, wouldnt it be someone whom you trust? So, if there is trust, enough to be owned, what is the need for ssc?

At first, i viewed it as a good ieda [and for many situations it is, play, group parties etc]

but i do not understand its stance in a M/s relationship.

[please dont berrate me with the importance of having such a thing, i understand its benefits, i am just asking how you relate it to your M/s relationship, if you feel it degrades the sincereity, or if it is a needed aspect, for play partners or otherwise]

thanks :D

Post #: 1

RE: SSC? - 4/15/2006 9:53:47 PM

tangldupinblue

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ok it may be my turn for the stupid prize but.....SSC?

(in reply to mixielicous)

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RE: SSC? - 4/15/2006 9:57:07 PM

murmur

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Is that Safe, Sane and Consensual? or another new *term*?

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RE: SSC? - 4/15/2006 9:57:20 PM

Tikkiee

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Interesting perspective for the question Mixielicous. Since Chris and I only participate in the S&M, I too am curious as to how others would answer this.

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RE: SSC? - 4/15/2006 9:57:50 PM

mixielicous

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safe, sane, consentual

from wiki:

* safe: attempts should be made to identify and prevent risks to health
* sane: activities should be undertaken in a sane and sensible cast of mind
* consensual: all activities should involve the full informed consent of all parties involved, but note that legal consent may not create a defence to criminal liability for any injuries caused and that, for these purposes, non-physical injuries are included in the definition of grievous bodily harm in English law.

i guess the Q is gearred towards mostly the 'C' part

(in reply to tangldupinblue)

Post #: 5

RE: SSC? - 4/15/2006 9:57:55 PM

PlayfulOne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tangldupinblue

ok it may be my turn for the stupid prize but.....SSC?

safe sane consenual

(in reply to tangldupinblue)

Post #: 6

RE: SSC? - 4/15/2006 9:58:43 PM

Lordandmaster

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I really hope this SSC is "safe, sane, consensual," so I get to tee off again. SSC hates Lam because Lam makes SSC look like Sonny Liston after a few rounds with Cassius Clay.

(in reply to murmur)

Post #: 7

RE: SSC? - 4/15/2006 10:14:15 PM

murmur

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I'll take that question as not being a Master/sub, but a Master/slave aspect...Hmm...it's only my humble opinion...but in an M/s relationship, it's for the Master/Mistress to take care of those aspects and the slave to trust Him with that.
Right?
with, of course, keeping in mind that the communication's element is always there.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 8

RE: SSC? - 4/15/2006 10:17:32 PM

TxBadMan

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From: Moody, Texas
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quote:

i can see how it could be beneficial to a purely s/m relationship,

My girl and I have a purely S&M relationship, yet there is nothing safe, nor sane about it at all; at least, not in the eyes of some.

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Post #: 9

RE: SSC? - 4/15/2006 10:17:44 PM

slaveofdarkhold

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I'd say the SSC rule still applies in a M/s relationship.
Yes I trust my Master completely and submit to his will. But in owning me, he has a responsibility to care for my saftety. Just because he is my Master and not just topping me doesn't mean it's ok for him to take risks with my safety. Equally it is down to him to have the self control not to play/punish me when he is wildly angry as he may not be in a balanced state of mind, his judgement may be impaired and he could seriously put me at risk. It's details like this that make the difference between BDSM and abuse.
I'm assuming that your question was mostly about consent and so I will address that seperately. I think what you are trying to say (and my apologies if I've interpreted wrong) is that if I am submitting totally I should do as he says regardless of what I want, and so 'consent' isnt necessarily an issue. But in a situation like this my consent is given in advance. I consented when I became his to allow him to judge what is safe for me to do, and I'm trusting him to make the right decisions. Also even in a Master/slave relationship most people have some sort of preset limits (eg no scat) and consensual means not violating these.
I hope this makes some kind of sense and that I havent totally misunderstood the question. SSC is always important in this kind of relationship, only in this case the sub is trusting the Master/Mistress to carry this out for them

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 10

RE: SSC? - 4/15/2006 10:32:27 PM

murmur

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this makes sense, thank you slaveofdarkhold

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RE: SSC? - 4/15/2006 10:37:08 PM

Lordandmaster

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There was a good four-page thread about SSC last October. It starts here:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_174230/mpage_1/tm.htm#174230

(in reply to murmur)

Post #: 12

RE: SSC? - 4/15/2006 10:40:16 PM

KittenWithaTwist

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In an M/s relationship, all acts should still be consensual. After all, if you are agreeing to do said acts and are not being forced to do them against your will, then you are consenting. That is, you agree to say "Yes, I will do this for you/to you," or "Yes, you can do this to/for me."
This is important in any relationship, regardless of its label.

While I am not a fan of the "SSC" terminology, I do think that all M/s and D/s and S&M relationships should be consensual, even if that consensuality is of a consensual non-consent variety.

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(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 13

RE: SSC? - 4/15/2006 11:50:00 PM

perverseangelic

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From: Davis, Ca
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I think I problably went into it on the other thread, but I don't personally buy SSC. It's great as a catchphrase to make others feel that what we do is 'normal' et al, but as an actual phrase to live by it does nothing for me.

I play by 'consensual' above all else, but that's it.

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Post #: 14

RE: SSC? - 4/15/2006 11:57:07 PM

stef

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Why should you buy it? The originator of the damned thing doesn't:

"The idea that ‘safe sane consensual’ is used to define something like articles of faith s/m newbies are expected to absorb turns my stomach, especially when the people doing the defining are the kind who do s/m at a very tame, low level of intensity and think that’s where the boundaries should be set for everyone." - david stein

~stef

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Post #: 15

RE: SSC? - 4/16/2006 1:06:03 AM

CanadianGuy

Posts: 219
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"Safe Sane Consentual" is IMO a lame, softcore (almost vanilla) term used by people who need catch phrases to make themselves seem wise and "down with the lifestyle". I really don't buy it, and if my girl started to throw around the term, I'd probably push the "open up a trapdoor under her feet which leads down into a long slidey tunnel chute to the smelly garbage room" button.

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 16

RE: SSC? - 4/16/2006 7:02:38 AM

Arpig

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Safe: Something that must be decided for oneself
Sane: Entirely subjective
Consentual: Once a they submit, that is taken care of

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Post #: 17

RE: SSC? - 4/16/2006 7:24:25 AM

slaveofdarkhold

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CanadianGuy

I'd probably push the "open up a trapdoor under her feet which leads down into a long slidey tunnel chute to the smelly garbage room" button.

Wow. Can you put me in touch with the people who installed that for you? I'd love one of those in my house!

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 18

RE: SSC? - 4/16/2006 7:39:23 AM

starymists

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My own two cents...SSC has been around for a while. Prior to the age of the internet, at least where I am from, SSC was as beneficial to the Dominant as it was to the submissive. If you go back to the late 80s/early 90s, SSC usually involved a discussion of limits, wants and needs. But to explain...

SSC works to protect the Dominant as well as the submissive. For example, if you've say, caned someone and left some nasty bruises n welts, you leave yourself open for her to say you've assaulted her, because perhaps you've taken her farther than she wanted to go. Back then, people got arrested if they couldn't prove that there was some level of consent to those activities. Today, that is no different. You leave yourself wide open for rape and assault charges if you have no way of proving consent.

For the submissive, it guards against Dominants that would perhaps behave in less than ethical ways, such as breaking the law, causing permanant damage...death. Many of us have our scars from not playing safe at one time or another. Taking risks that maybe in retrospect, we shouldn't have taken.

I suppose its easy to poo-poo SSC if you're an ethical person, or if you're in a committed relationship in which you can trust your partner, or if you don't play with those you don't trust. But for others, its a way to stay safe.

On the flip side, in our search for a third, I've noticed that there are a lot of people that use SSC to top from the bottom, which isn't OK either. But when used appropriately, SSC has its time and place.

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 19

arrrgh!! - 4/16/2006 8:12:48 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
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SSC thread

OH GOD MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!

(here is a link that will educate many about this acronym)

http://sensuoussadie.com/interviews/davidsteininterview.htm

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 4/16/2006 8:17:43 AM >

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MstrssPassion

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