FirmhandKY
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Joined: 9/21/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tikkiee
I think that I am going to be the odd person out here, but I am superficial enough to care about how a person looks. A person who takes care of themselves; mentally, emotionally, and physically; is going to get a second look from me before that of someone who does not.
Tikkiee,
Very true, and I think that a lot of people - even posters in this thread - are hitting on the nubbin of truth, but not the entire truth.
I don't really want to tick anyone off, and these are my opinions only, and general observations. There are always exceptions to the Bell curve and the "norm", so please don't take any of this as directed personally at YOU. (Well, maybe Tikkiee will get POed, but I hope not).
Tikkiee - you are a young, absolutely beautiful young girl, with all the apparent aspects of what the male half of the human species consider desirable in a mate. I would also tell you that your viewpoint is exactly normal in considering the shallow external physical aspects of a male for a potential partner. You are programmed that way, and there is an evolutionary advantages to that viewpoint, and I can't say that you are wrong in any way.
But you are also young, and inexperienced with a larger population of people and society. No, no insult intended, and let me explain a little more before you fire off a response, because I'm going to piss off every one else, too.
I'm gonna whale on everyone's cherished beliefs before this post is done. I'd just ask that everyone read and think about it for a few minutes before they let their gut reaction kick in, and the flames start.
Some general assumptions:
1. If you think you can honestly say that "looks don't matter" to you ... you are deceiving yourself.
2. "Good looking" people tend to be more attractive, successful .. and shallower than "normal" people.
3. Attractive people tend to be more socially inept than "imperfect" people.
Now, with the hard points out of the way ... let's talk about it.
Attraction in the animal kingdom (and make no mistake, we ARE part of that kingdom), is primarily based on certain genetically programmed physical characteristics.
In homo sapiens, some of the proven physical attractants for men, in women are:
1. .7 bust/waist/hips ratio
2. Long, lustrous, thick hair
3. Clear smooth skin
4. Clear eyes
5. Youth (ability to bear children)
Some of the proven physical attractants for women, in men are:
1. An inverted triangular body shape (wide shoulders, body narrowing to the waist).
2. Athletic and well-muscled body
3. Height
4. Erect posture.
These are just a few of the "hard wired" things that are attractive to the opposite sex.
There are others. You've all heard of pheromones. And there is even research that tends to support that the blood type and other factors play a part in attractiveness [for an interesting concept, go Google "genetic sexual attraction" (GSA)]
But ... physical evolution is just part of the equation. Homo sapien's evolution includes culture. Culture IS an evolutionary strategy for the human race, and cultural influences help determine attractiveness as well.
Why is a financially successful man often seen with a trophy wife?
The point to the cultural influences, and back to Tikkiee and socially inept but successful physically attractive people is this cultural and experience thing (and therefore an age thing as well).
People who are physically attractive by birth (at the hardwired level) are almost automatically given the benefit of the doubt, and entre into situations and people based solely on their inherent, socially unearned physical characteristics. They are less dependent on social skills such as we less blessed people are.
On the other hand, people who don't have the physical advantage - or not to the extent of the "beautiful people" - must learn and master social skills, patience, and understanding. The cultural skills, in other words.
Age also plays a part, because the additional experience tends to sharpen those skills, or at the least gives them enough background to appreciate something other than the outwardly apparent part of the person.
While the "beautiful people" sometimes grow bitter, and disillusioned as their beauty fades, the "normal" or "challenged" people grow to appreciate other aspects of a person.
But ... this comes at the price of overcoming their genetic programming. Sometimes that programming and disposition overcomes them. Sometimes it's a dance. But it always matters.
So ... while it's nice to say that "looks don't matter" ... they always do. What I actually think you are saying is that you can overcome faults to a person's looks, and see beyond them - most of the time.
I've written some more detailed posts about this, in other locations, and there is certainly a lot of room for discussion and opposing viewpoints. What's interesting to me are people such as puella, who say they were unattractive at one point in their lives, but became attractive later. I've looked at her profile, and at her journal, and have read her comments here. She seems to be attractive in all respects now - physically, emotionally, intellectually, AND is socially adept. She is just one of the examples of how people can maximize what they have, be it a little or a lot - to become attractive.
FHky
_____________________________
Some people are just idiots.
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 
Profile
[clearer?]
RE: Body Imperfections? - 
I would like to touch on some points that you made though. 
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