RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female

RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (Full Version)

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laurell3 -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/14/2010 3:31:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 ...the morality police... Just one question before I accept this assignment...do I get a tazer? It's not too much to ask...really.[;)] Tazers are now banned....it's in another thread....the morality police hand out sweaters with a big scarlet A on them.

BDSMPleasures -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/14/2010 3:33:16 PM)
No... is nothing to do with lazy.. I was under the false impression that this community was open minded, fair, and open to the idea that we all make choices about our lifestyle that most others condemn... most here are just as quick to judge like their vanilla copunterparts as long as the issue is not related to the non traditional choices they have made for themselves.

BentUnit -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/14/2010 3:44:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures No... is nothing to do with lazy.. I was under the false impression that this community was open minded, fair, and open to the idea that we all make choices about our lifestyle that most others condemn... most here are just as quick to judge like their vanilla copunterparts as long as the issue is not related to the non traditional choices they have made for themselves. Look if you spent as much time, effort and energy into your marriage and trying to ease your wife into kink as you did trying to come up with justifications and excuses for cheating you'd have the kinky marriage of your dreams.

Jasmineinbloom -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/14/2010 3:44:13 PM)
It's Universal in most communities to not wish to see someone in the process of hurting another. No matter the reason.

Apocalypso -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/14/2010 3:45:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures most here are just as quick to judge like their vanilla copunterparts as long as the issue is not related to the non traditional choices they have made for themselves. That's because most of us believe consent is important. And that your wife has a right to make choices as well as you. That said, I'm not the fidelity police either. Far as I'm concerned you're a pathetic loser. Hopefully you can find another pathetic loser and have a relationship based on mutual pathetic loserness. You might want to consider looking at one of the dating sites set up for people cheating on their spouses. You'd probably get a better reaction than here. So best of luck on that! And if you find someone, please do come back and let us know when she cheats on you. Schadenfreude is one of my kinks. EDIT: Any scammers reading this thread, this guy is a dream come true for you guys. Seriously, trust me on this one. He'd also be really easy to blackmail.

willbeurdaddy -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/14/2010 3:46:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures No... is nothing to do with lazy.. I was under the false impression that this community was open minded, fair, and open to the idea that we all make choices about our lifestyle that most others condemn... most here are just as quick to judge like their vanilla copunterparts as long as the issue is not related to the non traditional choices they have made for themselves. Why stop there...most here are quick to judge any kink other than their own, not just vanilla.

BDSMPleasures -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/14/2010 4:00:32 PM)
Thanks for the advice

Notsweet -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/14/2010 4:01:15 PM)
Please, please don't compare consentual BDSM with lying, cheating and dishonesty. You think that trust has nothing to do with BDSM? Oh, yeah, you're a dom. Oh, and btw, of course you can trust a lying, cheating, dishonest married woman, just like she can trust you. And you wonder why your wife isn't interested in fucking you. I can't believe I read this whole thread. I only read it to see what Lockit and LadyPact had to say, because they always make sense. If they tell you that you're a putz, you can take that to the bank.

LadyPact -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/14/2010 4:14:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures No... is nothing to do with lazy.. I was under the false impression that this community was open minded, fair, and open to the idea that we all make choices about our lifestyle that most others condemn... most here are just as quick to judge like their vanilla copunterparts as long as the issue is not related to the non traditional choices they have made for themselves. If you were under the impression that whatever you do is cool as long as you call it a kink, you're damn right that you got the wrong impression. My right to kink stops where effected third parties rights begin. I don't have the right to hurt people by extension. That covers everything from neighbors being concerned because they hear clip and I playing, to not trying to shock people on the street, to him being in such a condition after playing that he can not live up to his responsibilities. You have the right to make your choices. I have the right to tell you that your choices suck. The only reason I not sitting here saying that I hope you get caught is because I don't want to wish that pain on your wife. In other words, I care about her more than you do on this matter. If you can't grow a pair and talk to your wife, you can't be surprised that people think you are nothing more than what has been said about you in this thread.

yellowroses -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/14/2010 5:18:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures No... is nothing to do with lazy.. I was under the false impression that this community was open minded, fair, and open to the idea that we all make choices about our lifestyle that most others condemn... most here are just as quick to judge like their vanilla copunterparts as long as the issue is not related to the non traditional choices they have made for themselves. I really dislike it when people use the BDSM community/lifestyle as an excuse for bad behavior. There are so many Doms and subs that I have seen that behave badly and do it because they think just because they are in the lifestyle there are no rules. Bad behavior is simply bad behavior. It has NOTHING to do with being open minded.

thornhappy -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/14/2010 5:49:40 PM)
They don't fall into comas, domi! They get amnesia! quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy It happens. Girlfriends and wives fall into comas all the time....Do you not watch soaps, they have no axe to grind in this fight? I wish the op well. If he were a married woman he would be a disgusting whore for such pursuits. I sleep well knowing these facts.

LaTigresse -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/15/2010 7:56:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures Thanks for the advice Please return and let us know what happens when your wife finds out about your hunt for fun on the side. It's the sadist in me.

BDSMPleasures -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/15/2010 9:17:37 AM)
If she knows or not is between her and I. None of you know enough about me or my situation to be able to issue a blanket condemation of me personally, one can only say that you don't like this sort of behavior in general terms... everything is not always black and white... there are always shades of gray...

smartsub10 -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/15/2010 9:28:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures If she knows or not is between her and I. None of you know enough about me or my situation to be able to issue a blanket condemation of me personally, one can only say that you don't like this sort of behavior in general terms... everything is not always black and white... there are always shades of gray... Whether we know you very well or not at all does not change the fact that you are seeking a relationship outside of your marriage without your wife's knowledge or consent. Still cheating. Still kinda tacky.

LaTigresse -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/15/2010 9:34:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures If she knows or not is between her and I. None of you know enough about me or my situation to be able to issue a blanket condemation of me personally, one can only say that you don't like this sort of behavior in general terms... everything is not always black and white... there are always shades of gray... You are forgetting one other person that it will involve aside from you and your wife.

LadyPact -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/15/2010 9:36:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures If she knows or not is between her and I. None of you know enough about me or my situation to be able to issue a blanket condemation of me personally, one can only say that you don't like this sort of behavior in general terms... everything is not always black and white... there are always shades of gray... Actually, I can. You posted your life to the board, cupcake. That means you don't get to control the comments. The shades of gray isn't the issue. Quite frankly, it isn't between you and her because she has no ability here to defend or protect herself. You have every right to think I'm a judgmental bitch for doing it in her stead, but I'm good with that.

juliaoceania -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/15/2010 9:40:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures Not sure how this developed into discussion of married or not.. that is not the issue..maybe a better question is how to introduce an "old fashioned" woman who thinks anything other than missionary is "dirty and perverted" and get her into the kink I am now into.. If she doesn't meet your needs, divorce her, any sort of justification for cheating because she won't meet your kink needs is really sordid and selfish... Here is the deal, I read your profile, no where does it say you are married on it, this in my experience makes you every bit the scammer that you complain about. Do you know how many doms like you have emailed me? They don't mention they are married until the move to wanting to talk on a landline or meet, and then all of the sudden they tell the truth "She doesn't understand me, you don't understand me, no one understands me"[8\|] .. Guess what, most decent folk don't WANT to understand you! It is pretty easy to understand anyways.... your wife is boring and you want some strange... it isn't rocket science

BonesFromAsh -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/15/2010 9:45:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures If she knows or not is between her and I. None of you know enough about me or my situation to be able to issue a blanket condemation of me personally, one can only say that you don't like this sort of behavior in general terms... everything is not always black and white... there are always shades of gray... All I have to base my posts on this thread is your profile and this statement from your original post... quote: I'm wanting to have a D/s relationship on the side, in secret. No shade of gray about that, as far as I can tell.

Aileen1968 -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/15/2010 10:04:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures A friend suggested I post a message here as it helped her find her Dom. I guess the challenge for me is that I seek a local female submissive that is in the same situation as I am... married, and planning on staying in their situation. Not here to debate this decision..please just accept it as a given. I'm wanting to have a D/s relationship on the side, in secret. Usually my potential sub and I are equally hestitant to post/exchange photos, then with so many scammers here I tend to act as if she's is a scammer until proven otherwise which isn't often the best way to start off a relationship when she's real... I'll just keep trying it the way I am, unless someone has some other ideas? After only getting to the bottom of page 2... OP...I know exactly what you are feeling. I was in your exact same position. I cheated because I needed this in my life. It was, by far, the worst mistake I have ever or will ever make in my life. It is an action that I will never forgive myself for. The end result is that I'm now divorced and risked the happiness of my children for my own selfishness. Do I regret getting divorced? Absolutely not. My marriage was obviously not working. I do regret that I didn't divorce before I went out and got involved with others. I can't change that as much as I would like. So I'm extremely aware of myself now and know that doing that to another person will never be an option for me ever again. I have many sleepless nights. I will always be upfront and honest with Shore. My advice to you is to talk to your wife. Be honest with her and let her know how important this is to you. Give her the choice. If she cannot have this in her life and you need it, then divorce her and then go and find another. Too many people get hurt when the order of that is changed.

LadyPact -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/15/2010 10:20:46 AM)
Aileen, I think I've told you this before, but I really admire you for being willing to post a comment like that. It takes a lot of balls to stand up and say what you did there. I appreciate the fact that you are willing to do so.

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