|
antinomy -> RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female (7/15/2010 11:46:54 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures
If she knows or not is between her and I. None of you know enough about me or my situation to be able to issue a blanket condemation of me personally, one can only say that you don't like this sort of behavior in general terms... everything is not always black and white... there are always shades of gray...
Been a long time since I have posted on the forums; and I know this was addressed specifically to someone else. However, can't you see the hypocrisy in your statement? How can it be between you AND her, if you are not telling her? You are trying to justify and validate something that you desperately want to make acceptable behavior. However, you can't. Be honest with yourself first. Sometimes, things ARE black and white, and we squint real hard, because we WANT them to be gray. But, just because we want something to be true, it don't make it so.
Now, before you claim I am judging you, I'm not. And, it's not that I don't give a damn, either. I know what it's like not to like the choices you have in life (hence, my screen name). The point is this: if you want your wife to remain your wife, you owe her honesty. She deserves to know the man she has forsaken all others for. She deserves to know what's going on with you. And, if you disagree, then you need to start thinking that maybe she deserves for you to let her go, or at least give her all the facts, so that SHE can make an informed decision. No, it's not pleasant, no it's not what you want to do. But, you claim to care about this woman, and if you REALLY do, you need to make her as much a priority as you make yourself.
It's easy to lie to yourself. To say you are keeping it from her to protect her. And, on some level it may even be true, but think for a moment of what it is you are trying to protect her FROM. You are trying to protect her from something she should not have to worry about; her own husband. You are trying to protect her from the one thing in life you actually DO have control over- yourself. No matter what you say and do to try to justify it, in the end, you are going to lose. You might NOT lose her, I don't know her. But, you lose self respect, integrity, the ability to identify as a trustworthy and honest man. And you can never undo the harm you are contemplating. Never. Think about it.
|
|
|
|
