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CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Obama supports sex ed for kindergartners........wtf? (7/14/2010 5:57:33 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
quote:
Everyone who thinks it's wise for kindergarteners to take responsibility for preventing pedophile attacks can bite me.
No one said they were to take responsibility, i said they were to be empowered. A 5 year old, or even older children, cannot ever be empowered enough to stand up to anyone other than a very incompetent pedophile. Pedophiles in jail were even interviewed and studied...and they said they looked for quiet, submissive children, not ones like my baby sister who was a hellion from the start. Learning words like penis and vagina will not turn a submissive child into an alpha one. I dislike how a lot of posts have degenerated into practically accusing parents of being an accomplice to pedophilia if they don't "empower" their kids with a lot of words at a very young age. Kids feel shame and blame already...I knew it was wrong when it was done to me and I didn't need to know the words penis and vagina and all that to tell my mother...yes, I did at first...she understood when I cried and stuttered out what happened and pointed to hurt places and told her about guys' whistles. The doctors understood, and the police understood. This is also why my aunt, who was a doll maker in Ohio, used to make anatomically correct dolls so kids in courtrooms could show without having to spell it out in words what had happened to them.
Being "empowered" means to be given power...and semantics aside, very young children will never have real power against an adult. A girlfriend of mine freaked out when her molestor had moved back into town after all those years and she had to drop out of high school. He had been a teenager then, and had promised to kill her family if she ever told and she BELIEVED him. Now...everyone spell this out clearly to me how knowing the name for penis, vagina, how babies are made, and inappropriate touching would have made even a TINY difference in the reality of what happened?
She was scared, hadn't been protected from him by adults, and had lost her faith in any adult being able to protect her from him.
No one said a child would win against a pedophile. An honest, open relationship between an adult and child gives the child a sense of self-worth, and its to that adult the child will turn too when the abuse begins. I had that kind of relationship with my mother; I loved her dearly and was a mamma's girl. My self-worth was stripped away and I changed...and seeing how the real world reacted (instead of the fantasy land most people imagine when they think justice will be done) I decided to never anyone again, but to try not to let it happen again. I followed all the rules...but believe me, by the time the touching starts, it's way too late and after it's over you don't want to think about it, talk about it, or go to any more doctors. We told my paternal grandmother, and she said what a nasty little girl I was and I became the filth in the family tree after that. Grandma treasured my nice "clean" sister, and showed favoritism from that point on.
I'm sorry to disagree, and we can agree to disagree on this, but simple words do not give a child a sense of self-worth, but...how they are treated does.
Its about teaching the appropriate terms for organs so that if/when abuse begins, the child can speak of such terms and not feel the embarrassment you speak of. Whether it's called a whistle or a penis, we know what it is and will always be embarrassed and ashamed. "A rose by any other name..." and all that. Pedophiles who are smart don't choose defiant, loudmouthed children to victimize. Heck, a friend of mine was flashed by a man on her playground, in front of all her friends (elementary school) and she looked him up and down carefully and said, "Mister, if I had one that teensy I'd keep it covered up." (The guy ran off and that's the last that I heard of him being on that elementary school playground. This was over 35 years ago.)
It's easy to deflect blame onto where it doesn't belong and feel justified and safe...after all, you "empowered" your kids with all these words...so it will NEVER HAPPEN TO YOUR KIDS, right? What if you do everything right and it still happens anyway? To YOUR kid.
Now where does the blame really go? A young vulnerable child was ALONE with a pedophile...hello, right there is one red flag, the word alone. Two, if the pedophile is good at what he/she does, then they are very likely a repeat offender...this also speaks volumes to me. Children speak out all the time, but often nothing can be done but the parents and kid trying to be more careful next time. If a child is or feels threatened, or that a parent will somehow see them as damaged goods an love them less..."empowering" will not motivate them to talk.
Child protective services do the best they can to investigate reportings. This is hard, very difficult, and doesn't have some easy school chat solutions. I'm okay with offering this education in schools, but that parents should have a right to opt out without being called names like accomplices to pedophilia, nor should they have to face legal problems solely because their kid, like many others, got molested and they had been one of the opt out parents. That's shiite. I don't know who brought that up in this thread but whoever did lost some of my respect. Not that it matters, as I don't care if people respect me less as a person for sounding off about all of this.
Predators bank on the taboo subject of sex... take the taboo out and they have less to rely upon. This empowerment training, it would be interesting to know how well it actually works...using Germany. So...I wonder if all pedophilia has ceased to exist in that country cuz the kiddies are so "empowered" and taboos are gone. Somehow I just can't see it. Maybe their legal system is better than ours, and pedophiles go in and never see the light of day again. I have a convicted pedophile relative who served his very brief time...he's a trucker and out on the road. Maybe he lost his puppy today and needs some kids to help him go find it... He's real, he's out there, he's been punished and then set free...only they don't GET IT. This is what floats his boat; he is not reformed. He will most definitely be doing it whenever possible until the day he dies. And our legal system let him out...because he served his pathetically small time.
There was a news story years ago, maybe from 20/20, where they were concerned about kids protecting themselves through empowerment and training from pedophiles. Eveyone to do with the news station's kids were encouraged to attend and were thoroughly trained by experts. Everything went great, right? No, because what also was part of the deal that the kids weren't told is that they would be tested to see if they would act on what they had learned. Fake "pedophiles" stalked these kids in full view of hidden cameras...and the kids fell for it. Someone had a teenage daughter who fell for the "my puppy got lost" thing. He even brought the leash and collar for added drama...as any decent predator would. No kids were threatened or exposed to anything remotely scary or creepy...just tested to see how far this empowerment training helped.
For the record, I taught my kid everything and I started very young, as things naturally came up. Just like when I ordered anatomically correct dolls and changed their diapers in front of my son, he got to see that boy babies are different from little girls. I explain everything to him in my own way...and then he was the one educating all the kids in the neighborhood. Autism gave him more openness and innocence, but it also gave him more vulnerability and gullibility. He knew all this, but I didn't rely on information to protect him...I watched him like a hawk.
tazzygirl, I respect your right to an opinion and that sometimes we will have to agree to disagree, and I used part of what you said to react to this thread over all, and not just your post.
I talk as much to my son, and as explicitly as I talk here. When I was training him not to drink out of the milk carton directly...I waited until I caught him in the act and explained to him that we need to make a promise to each other. That he won't drink directly from it, then I won't either...especially if I have recently given anyone a blow job. [;)]
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