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[Poll]

Poll: Stay or Go?


Carry on as usual.
  40% (10)
Give it a rest for now.
  60% (15)


Total Votes : 25
(last vote on : 8/9/2010 6:17:08 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 3:40:21 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline 		Right. Well this morning, my brother and sister found out I was into BDSM. They started screaming at me and I had to leave through my bedroom window :/ Anyway.

I'm still freaking out a little. So what do you think, should I give up my happy lifestyle or carry on? A little odd now that literally everybody in my immediate family knows.


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RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 3:47:31 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline 		I think you need to step away from things you want to keep secret until you have more practice at keeping secrets.

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 3:57:54 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Correct me if I am wrong, but at your age aren't you used to keeping some secrets? I remember us all keeping from our families... many things. They didn't know what we were doing and we all liked it best that way.

You know the family or household rules, you know how to inflame them or push buttons and for some reason, I think you like pushing buttons... maybe for the attention or in a process of distancing yourself and growing up and trying to prove that.

Now at my house... anyone that I allowed to live there, having to go out a window because someone was angry with them, would be a different issue and someone would be in some serious trouble.

I think you are bound and determined to go... you are finding many reasons or creating many reasons to go. Not a real adult move or accountable. You either do it or you don't, but don't cause drama to excuse it.



< Message edited by Lockit -- 7/15/2010 4:00:40 PM >

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RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 4:03:14 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		==   what every you do- try to diffuse the home situation.

Unless and until you can afford your own roof- then you more less have to go along with the program.

tell them it was an experimental phase- - that you have no made any final decisions.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 4:04:34 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline 		I don't usually keep secrets from my family. We are normally very close. At the moment, however, I'm beginning to rethink my decisions. I don't quite like the thought of being repressed by my family for two more years, but I'm not sure how I can get past it.

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Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 4:05:36 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		Are they asking you to leave?
Are they asking you to make a choice?
Crawling out the window sounds a bit dramatic.

I didn't vote in your poll.

eta: so are you saying to told them about the BDSM? and if so, why?

< Message edited by girlygurl -- 7/15/2010 4:06:27 PM >

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RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 4:08:33 PM   
SL4V3M4YB3


Posts: 3506
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		It's either who you are or it isn't, people can't really slow it down by choice unless they are into aversion therapy.

If you've been discovered then what is the advantage of pretending either: 'no it's not you' or 'yes it was you but now you've changed back into a so called normal person.'

If it will adversely affect you position in life (say your job) then keep it secret and pretend it isn't you but if the worst that can happen is alienating a few people that are supposed to love you for who you are then what does it matter? On the up side; no more lies.

Perhaps they'll get used to the idea or perhaps some other relative will soon take your place as the talking point. The question in the poll is framed wrong because it's your relatives that have some choices to make upon this discovery. What you do in the short term isn't going to have much bearing on that.

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RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 4:10:33 PM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

A little odd now that literally everybody in my immediate family knows.



Not really given that you were the one to start the telling .

I get the feeling you enjoy drama.

Why?

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 4:17:06 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

Are they asking you to leave?
Are they asking you to make a choice?
Crawling out the window sounds a bit dramatic.

I didn't vote in your poll.

eta: so are you saying to told them about the BDSM? and if so, why?

I left through the window because they weren't letting me leave the house.

quote:

I get the feeling you enjoy drama.

Why?

I don't enjoy drama. I just come here to ask people for advice.


_____________________________

I wash my hands of this weirdness.

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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 4:21:38 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

I don't usually keep secrets from my family. We are normally very close. At the moment, however, I'm beginning to rethink my decisions. I don't quite like the thought of being repressed by my family for two more years, but I'm not sure how I can get past it.


You can live openly and proud, or you can live subtly and compartmented.

Both options have positive and negative aspects.

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 4:24:21 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Glasgow,

How did they find out?

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 4:47:02 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Glasgow,

How did they find out?


I told my sister, as she herself is a bit of a deviant. However, she started to lecture me in the kitchen. When my brother came in, she didn't shut up, and he found out, which is how the the whole thing started.

I walked to Taco Bell and my older sister was there (I have 2 sisters and 1 brother), and she stayed with me until my mom came. And then my mom told my dad. So now they all know.


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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 4:47:55 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		You're trying to have your cake and eat it too. You want to have a proud, independent life - but you're still living at home.

You're acting like you're a grownup.  Just get a job and start earning your own money, and your independence will be a lot easier.


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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 4:50:10 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

You're trying to have your cake and eat it too. You want to have a proud, independent life - but you're still living at home.

You're acting like you're a grownup.  Just get a job and start earning your own money, and your independence will be a lot easier.



I have a job. Which my sister also works at. Fuck my life.


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I wash my hands of this weirdness.

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 4:59:01 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline 		Honey, seriously, take it easy. The guys you love today will more than likely just be a sigh and a smile 10 years from now.

I know you want to grow up. It's part of being that age, you want to be your self, whole and fully actualized. Take some time to think about who and what that is, and yeah, trial and error works, so long as the error isn't too big.

Your family seems pretty open and understanding - maybe you want to shock them into being less so?

Meh. Find an older lover. It worked wonders for me at your age.

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 5:00:14 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

Honey, seriously, take it easy. The guys you love today will more than likely just be a sigh and a smile 10 years from now.

I know you want to grow up. It's part of being that age, you want to be your self, whole and fully actualized. Take some time to think about who and what that is, and yeah, trial and error works, so long as the error isn't too big.

Your family seems pretty open and understanding - maybe you want to shock them into being less so?

Meh. Find an older lover. It worked wonders for me at your age.


The main reason they're pissed off is because he IS older.


_____________________________

I wash my hands of this weirdness.

(in reply to Elisabella)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 5:02:57 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow
The main reason they're pissed off is because he IS older.


That's why you don't tell them...not because you can "get away with it" but because you're a woman, and your lover is yours...not your family's.

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 5:03:32 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_3256489/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3256489

Maybe you are forgetting... eleven pages of family disruption about your bf/dominant and responses to whether you should move out or not.

So you thought it okay to share a bit more while still with the same older man? The victim role isn't attractive. It's time to get very real with yourself or stop expecting monthly drama fest threads.

You are doing this to yourself and your life. So if it sucks or is fucked... the work you need to do is within. I do wish you well, but after being an eighteen year old and raising a few of them... you aren't ready for the big bad world yet, but you just may have to get out there and find out yourself. Just don't blame anyone else.


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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 5:05:41 PM   
dovie


Posts: 1211
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3256489/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3256489

Maybe you are forgetting... eleven pages of family disruption about your bf/dominant and responses to whether you should move out or not.

So you thought it okay to share a bit more while still with the same older man? The victim role isn't attractive. It's time to get very real with yourself or stop expecting monthly drama fest threads.

You are doing this to yourself and your life. So if it sucks or is fucked... the work you need to do is within. I do wish you well, but after being an eighteen year old and raising a few of them... you aren't ready for the big bad world yet, but you just may have to get out there and find out yourself. Just don't blame anyone else.



I wuv you Ms. Lockit...I was watching the "set-up," and didn't even know about the other thread. LOL

dovie

< Message edited by dovie -- 7/15/2010 5:06:04 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 5:35:11 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3256489/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3256489

Maybe you are forgetting... eleven pages of family disruption about your bf/dominant and responses to whether you should move out or not.

So you thought it okay to share a bit more while still with the same older man? The victim role isn't attractive. It's time to get very real with yourself or stop expecting monthly drama fest threads.

You are doing this to yourself and your life. So if it sucks or is fucked... the work you need to do is within. I do wish you well, but after being an eighteen year old and raising a few of them... you aren't ready for the big bad world yet, but you just may have to get out there and find out yourself. Just don't blame anyone else.


As I recall, I kept up with a couple of pages and then forgot about it. People kept up their own drama after that. I don't actively plan my life disruptions to hit once a month so I can get hostile attention.

I was actually being a bit of an idiot with the first thread. Posted it quite soon after the incident when I still wasn't calmed down. I don't happen to know many people knowledgeable about BDSM dynamics, so I come here for whatever help the skeptics pass out.



_____________________________

I wash my hands of this weirdness.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 20
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