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[Poll]

Poll: Stay or Go?

Carry on as usual.

40% (10)

Give it a rest for now.

60% (15)

Total Votes : 25

(last vote on : 8/9/2010 6:17:08 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 5:36:59 PM

divi

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I suggest you go

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Post #: 21

RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 5:37:51 PM

Jeffff

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I would run away and join the circus.

Read, "Water for Elephants" first. Then watch the Marx Bros. " A Day at the Circus"

You'll be good to go!

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Post #: 22

RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 5:39:49 PM

Glasgow

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I would run away and join the circus.

Read, "Water for Elephants" first. Then watch the Marx Bros. " A Day at the Circus"

You'll be good to go!

My anteater tamer act will be a big hit.

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Post #: 23

RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 5:41:06 PM

divi

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I'm curious if we all vote go .. will you ?

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Post #: 24

RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 5:46:07 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow
The main reason they're pissed off is because he IS older.

I'm going to tell you what I said in one of your other threads.

If you lived in My house, you would live by My rules. If you couldn't live by My rules, and you are an adult, don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out. It's the very same thing that I've told My own (adult) children. I didn't give a damn when they hit their magic eighteenth birthday. As long as I was supporting them, it was My way or the highway.

You live in your parent's home. That means they deserve the respect that you should be giving them for what they do for you. They really aren't required to do that anymore, since you are grown. Either abide by their rules while you live there, or move out.

Before you do, you'd better take a good, hard look at which side of the grass is really greener.

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Post #: 25

RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 5:55:11 PM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh
I get the feeling you enjoy drama.

That's my initial reaction, as well.

Doesn't make you a bad person, Glasgow, but it's not a smart way to address life, either.

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Post #: 26

RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 6:04:11 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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I think you should go. Get a second job, if you have to. Seriously, if you can't stop causing drama in your parents home, you need to go. It will be a good learning experience for you. Either you'll thrive, and learn the joys of independance, or you'll struggle, and learn some appreciation for all the things your parents provided for you. Definitely go.

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Post #: 27

RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 6:05:15 PM

lizi

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So your siblings didn't just find out, you told one of them and it went from there. You seriously don't seem to understand how to keep a secret and kind of deserve the chaos that has resulted from it. Most of us keep our private lives private for a reason.

Do you know what would happen if I let it slip to my 18, 20, and 29 year old sons that I let my boyfriend tie me up and hurt me? Do you know what they would do to this boyfriend? I have 2 serious injuries right now (from an accident...nothing to do with BDSM), if my sons knew what I did in my bedroom they would string my Dom up by his heels and commit me to a psych ward. I don't get a pass on having to keep my BDSM interests private even though I'm 48 and have been on my own for quite some time now. Most of us have family, jobs, and other reasons why we chose to keep our kink private. Moving out isn't an instant cure...you still have your family to consider and they will be around for as long as you are.

You're going to have to grow up a little and in the future figure out how to keep boundaries around things that will end up hurting the ones you love. I think Hunky had some excellent advice...I'd quote it for you but it's hard for me to type these days with my injuries and my browser won't let me cut and paste out of the CM reply box.
It may seem like a cop out to hide an important part of yourself but given your situation it seems prudent.

< Message edited by lizi -- 7/15/2010 6:43:03 PM >

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Post #: 28

RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 6:24:30 PM

BonesFromAsh

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I think you should go. Get a second job, if you have to. Seriously, if you can't stop causing drama in your parents home, you need to go. It will be a good learning experience for you. Either you'll thrive, and learn the joys of independance, or you'll struggle, and learn some appreciation for all the things your parents provided for you. Definitely go.

This.....in spades.

OP, i don't know what advice you're looking for from people here but having lived through my teen years in a house full of drama created by a sibling (actually,come to think of it, all of them had a thing for drama) I can tell you sometimes the best way to maintain a decent relationship and allow for peace to return to the family home is from a distance.

Sometimes...not always.

It's a chance you may have to take in order to learn the lessons life has in store for you.

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Post #: 29

RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/15/2010 7:27:00 PM

wandersalone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

Right. Well this morning, my brother and sister found out I was into BDSM. They started screaming at me and I had to leave through my bedroom window :/ Anyway.

I'm still freaking out a little. So what do you think, should I give up my happy lifestyle or carry on? A little odd now that literally everybody in my immediate family knows.

So just to clarify they found out because you told your sister in much the same way that you told your mother and then seemed surprised by the fall out. Is it possible that there is a lesson in here for you which is a tad less dramatic then forsaking bdsm....how about keeping your lips zipped?

It is lovely to want to be 100% open and honest with your family however if you know the information is likely to cause a negative reaction wouldn't it be better to instead find a friend to talk to instead ....or your dom.

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Post #: 30

RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/16/2010 5:10:35 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

I don't usually keep secrets from my family. We are normally very close. At the moment, however, I'm beginning to rethink my decisions. I don't quite like the thought of being repressed by my family for two more years, but I'm not sure how I can get past it.

Stop inviting drama by talking about your PERSONAL life.

You invited the reaction by being a blabbermouth. But irregardless, living in a judgmental environment is not healthy. Move.

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RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/16/2010 5:16:56 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Maybe you are forgetting... eleven pages of family disruption about your bf/dominant and responses to whether you should move out or not.

So you thought it okay to share a bit more while still with the same older man?

As I recall, I kept up with a couple of pages and then forgot about it.....

well golly gee Wally

quote:

so I come here for whatever help the skeptics pass out.

sure....we all have the time to waste

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RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/16/2010 10:27:37 AM

LadyPact

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I'm just going to post this link and leave it at that. Attention seeking personality disorders and tactics of attention-seeking including drama queens, saviours, rescuers, feigners and attention-seekers

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Post #: 33

RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/16/2010 10:34:21 AM

JstAnotherSub

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You already made the mistake of discussing this with your parents and it did not end well, yet you chose to do again with another family member. None of your family want to know about your sex life Trust me here.

If I were your mom and you had done this again under my roof, you wouldn't have the choice to decide whether to stay or go. You would have be gone so fast it would make your head swim. You are being disrespectful in a place you do not pay the cost to be the boss at.

Shut up and follow the rules, or leave.

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Post #: 34

RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/16/2010 11:41:24 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow
The main reason they're pissed off is because he IS older.

I'm going to tell you what I said in one of your other threads.

If you lived in My house, you would live by My rules. If you couldn't live by My rules, and you are an adult, don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out. It's the very same thing that I've told My own (adult) children. I didn't give a damn when they hit their magic eighteenth birthday. As long as I was supporting them, it was My way or the highway.

You live in your parent's home. That means they deserve the respect that you should be giving them for what they do for you. They really aren't required to do that anymore, since you are grown. Either abide by their rules while you live there, or move out.

Before you do, you'd better take a good, hard look at which side of the grass is really greener.

This.

My kids found out the hard way that the grass at home was pretty fucking luxurious. It was not an easy lesson for either of them and a lot harder for me.

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Post #: 35

RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/17/2010 7:53:30 AM

maybemaybenot

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

Right. Well this morning, my brother and sister found out I was into BDSM. They started screaming at me and I had to leave through my bedroom window :/ Anyway.

and this :

The main reason they're pissed off is because he IS older.

This looks like a contradiction to me.

" a little odd that my immediate family knows " ? You freaking told them and now your complaining. Grow up, Glasgow.

I don't think the answers in this thread will be any different than the answers in your last thread about blabbing your sex life to your parents. You obviously don't learn from your mistakes.

mbmbn

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Post #: 36

RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/17/2010 7:57:31 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

My kids found out the hard way that the grass at home was pretty fucking luxurious. It was not an easy lesson for either of them and a lot harder for me.

isn't this the truth? If only they knew that the "tough" in tough love is brutal for the parents.

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Post #: 37

RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/17/2010 7:59:10 AM

AQuietSimpleMan

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Glasgow.

What in the hell did you expect?

You can't have it both ways kiddo.

You can't do what you wanna do knowing that it goes against what your parents feel and still get to have them pay your way.

In reality what you are doing is showing very GOOD reasons why someone should not want you as a submissive...... you are showing very little ability to understand the reality of life....

You are showing that you really need to be at home with your folks for a few more years because you just aren't grown enough to be in the real world.... You have proved it time and time again in this and your other threads.

QSM

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RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/17/2010 8:16:24 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

I'm going to tell you what I said in one of your other threads.

If you lived in My house, you would live by My rules. If you couldn't live by My rules, and you are an adult, don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out. It's the very same thing that I've told My own (adult) children. I didn't give a damn when they hit their magic eighteenth birthday. As long as I was supporting them, it was My way or the highway.

You live in your parent's home. That means they deserve the respect that you should be giving them for what they do for you. They really aren't required to do that anymore, since you are grown. Either abide by their rules while you live there, or move out.

Before you do, you'd better take a good, hard look at which side of the grass is really greener.

this is quoted for truth.

Sadly. i cannot help but have the impression that Glasgows parents are not on the same page as LadyPact, LaT and others who have stated this line of thought.

I see her discussion re her BDSM preferences as a blatant display of disrespect to her family. Had her parents been more rigid in dealing with an adult daughter, i doubt she would have shared the practices of her orientation and sex life with first her mother, then her siblings when the discussion with Mom did not achieve the desired results and drama she hoped for.

My feeling is her family will allow this to blow over, much to Glasgows dismay. Her next move might be along the likes of displaying requested bruises, rope burns, bite marks, welts, etc.

For the sake of her family, i hope takes responsibility for herself and moves.

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Post #: 39

RE: Poll: Stay or Go? - 7/17/2010 8:19:08 AM

angelikaJ

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Glasgow,

I think you need to do what you need to do.

BUT

If you let the cat out of the bag so that you didn't have to admit that you jumped into a collar (before you understood what being collared meant), in the long run there is another way to do this without creating so much collateral damage.

Admit you made a mistake.

Yes, it's hard.
Yes, it's embarrassing... but is it really any worse than this?

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