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No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/16/2006 8:51:57 PM

MojoRisin

Posts: 178
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

Hey, a serious question here:

I'm interested in the lifestyle of BDSM, yet not into whips, chains, inflicting pain, dungeons, goth, or any of that. My interests lie more in an intensified 1950s style..... me, taking care of a sub/slave woman, allowing her the resources so that she may obey and please me, but loving and taking care of her as one would a pet...

Total obedience on her part, but more about cooking/cleaning, dressing up, etc -- without the other stuff.

My question is: Am I in the right place?

Post #: 1

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/16/2006 8:56:36 PM

panzerin

Posts: 4
Joined: 4/9/2006
Status: offline

Sounds like you need to join up one of those sick patriarchal religious cults. They do some 24-7 D/s if ever it was done. Plus they go to heaven when they die, unlike the rest of us godless sinning infidels (who go to heaven now).

(in reply to MojoRisin)

Post #: 2

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/16/2006 9:09:40 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Look, I am anything but an expert here... but absolutey! You can find what you seek on this site. One does not need to be a kinkist or fetishist to be Dominant or submissive. I have always been a proponent of the idea that, for me, it is not about the outfit, toy or trying to defy convention. It is very important for me, to be organic to my most honest self. Being submissive is just a natural part of who I am as a person. I do not need to don a latex cat suit or be beaten publicly or privately for that state of being to be actualized. Submissive is something I am, not something I do. I would think that the same might be true on the opposite side of the scale... I would sure hope so.

Saying that, there is nothing wrong with the other variables I just mentioned... except of course the idea of me in a latex cat suit, which would never be a good idea, hehe. All I am trying to say is, not every aspect of the B, D, S, and M need to apply for you to be Dominant.

Good luck in your search!

< Message edited by puella -- 4/16/2006 9:10:21 PM >

(in reply to MojoRisin)

Post #: 3

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/16/2006 9:13:38 PM

maybemaybenot

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

I'm non masochistic. I feel pretty comfy here. In my experience, pain is not a pre requisite for being in this lifestyle. Neither of my two Dominants were into inflicting physical pain.

mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to panzerin)

Post #: 4

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/16/2006 9:16:01 PM

Clothespingirl

Posts: 82
Joined: 3/8/2006
Status: offline

MojoRisin, here's a site that may interest you: http://www.takeninhand.com It is composed of hundreds of discussions of "vanilla" D/s; that is, power exchange composed entirely of style and attitude without necessarily any physical force. Though several of the regular posters also practice domestic discipline. It's a great place to get inspiration!

_____________________________

"Cheeky bitch"

(in reply to MojoRisin)

Post #: 5

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/16/2006 9:16:14 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

I can only speak for myself I am Domme now but spent many years a a sub/slave.

To me the sort of arrangement would be like going to work with out pay, climbing a snow covered mountain and not sledding down, eating liver and peas and not getting cake afterwords.

To me, if I was the type of 50s style woman who knew my value as a domestic, and was good at that sort of service I would shop around for the best benefits package I could find, And not being beaten regularly, not being put in slave head space by my owner just would get tedious and boring very quickly.

I second the poster that said it sounds like a religious cult might be more up your alley.

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 4/16/2006 9:31:13 PM >

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to panzerin)

Post #: 6

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/16/2006 9:16:25 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

Well no one here seems to be telling you to get the fuck out so if nothing else, you're excepted as a member of this site.

Any how, answer me this?

This total obidence thing begins to wear off. What do you do to keep her from slacking on the responsibilities you have for her? After all nobody is perfect and I don't see you kicking sub after sub out the door because meat loaf night was skiped and pizza was ordered instead.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to MojoRisin)

Post #: 7

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/16/2006 9:19:10 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

I so do not agree with your post, but I love your tag line.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 8

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/16/2006 9:28:05 PM

WyrdRich

Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline

Here or a nice Conservative Baptist church.... Might be better off here.... I'm married to a Pastor's daughter and she's kind of a freak.

Happy, Happy Happy

(in reply to MojoRisin)

Post #: 9

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/16/2006 9:40:57 PM

MojoRisin

Posts: 178
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

All interesting replies.... to be considered!

Mojo

(in reply to WyrdRich)

Post #: 10

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/16/2006 10:29:43 PM

MojoRisin

Posts: 178
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

clothespingirl..... taken in hand is exactly what I'm looking for! Thanks!

(in reply to Clothespingirl)

Post #: 11

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/17/2006 3:54:36 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Well no one here seems to be telling you to get the fuck out so if nothing else, you're excepted as a member of this site.

Any how, answer me this?

This total obidence thing begins to wear off. What do you do to keep her from slacking on the responsibilities you have for her? After all nobody is perfect and I don't see you kicking sub after sub out the door because meat loaf night was skiped and pizza was ordered instead.

LMAO at meatloaf night.......

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 12

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/17/2006 5:17:19 AM

PlayfulOne

Posts: 1047
Status: offline

there are "pets" around here who don't wish to be beaten, you just might have to loo a little harder

K

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 13

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/17/2006 5:35:12 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

BDSM is just that...

What it sounds like is that you are looking for a physical interaction that is more along the lines of a TPE without the incorporation of sado-masochistic 'play'.

Dominance & submission does not require BDSM just as BDSM does not require dominance & submission.

If you don't want to tie up a girl & whip the daylights out of her... don't.

There are plenty of dominants & submissives out there that do not use whips & chains.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to MojoRisin)

Post #: 14

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/17/2006 5:36:14 AM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

Oh my gosh. I have to admit I'm surprised at some of the responses so far!
(Pardon me, while I rant.)
I'm seeing a total double standard, hypocrisy, and sexism.
People sing and dance the song of acceptance, and power exchange without fetish fulfillment, and how service isn't related to kink,
but along comes a Dominant MALE looking for the exact same thing and he's brushed off like an outcast. Join a cult? A church? WTF?

Male supremacy is just as valid as female supremacy.
A female service oriented sub is just as valid as a male service oriented sub.
Patriarchy is just as valid as matriarchy.
A male Dominant not wanting to devote all his time to a female's fetishes is just as valid as a female Dominant not wanting to devote all her time to a male sub's fetishes.

If I, as a Dominant woman, had written that I was interested in BDSM lifestyle (which I am), with no interest in whips and chains (which is pretty much true), and wanted an intensified Victorian household (which I do), and wanted to take care of a slave boy (which I do), and allow him the resources to obey and please me (which I do) and loving care for him as one would a pet (which I do) and expect total obedience on his part (which I do), and focus on cleaning and cooking (which I do) without focusing on the fetishism (which is absolutely true for me)......
what response would I have gotten?
Would I have been told to go join a religious cult?

OP:
I was originally going to say "Hell yes you're in the right place!", but based on some of the responses I've seen to you, I'm beginning to wonder how comfortable and welcomed you'll feel here. And how comfortable and welcomed I am for that matter, since my search is nearly identical to yours.

(in reply to MojoRisin)

Post #: 15

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/17/2006 5:54:15 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

Well that was really only one person who said anything completely negative. I read the profile & took into consideration the source... these two are on the opposite side of it all... one seeks what appears to be a TPE with structure & consistency, the other wants to flip a coin as to who gets to top. Neither are wrong for what they wish to achieve, neither should be ridiculed... as we all say "to each their own".

What it all boils down to is it is not a BDSM relationship that this individual seeks. BDSM cannot be considered a blanket term for all. The OP seems to be on the right track... he has a pretty good idea about how he wishes to define his own relationship. Now he just needs to communicate this with others & eventually he will find a partner who is seeking the same.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 16

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/17/2006 5:58:11 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

G'day MojoRisin mate,

Forget the replies you got like panzerin's. You are in the right place, you just want the D/s without the SM. Most Goreans aren't into the SM either and were here in the CM Community....Funny y'know if a sub/slave had asked the same question they probably would have not been treated so shabbily... I guess if I wasn't Gorean I'd probably look at the 50's too but ideally I'd rather go fror an Edwardian Lifestyle (assuming I have the spondoolicks to support it)

Proprietrix, you said it Lass I agree....

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to MojoRisin)

Post #: 17

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/17/2006 6:29:26 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

Oh my gosh. I have to admit I'm surprised at some of the responses so far!
(Pardon me, while I rant.)
I'm seeing a total double standard, hypocrisy, and sexism.
People sing and dance the song of acceptance, and power exchange without fetish fulfillment, and how service isn't related to kink,

Could you be a bit more specific? I've been following this notestream and have seen only one negative comment and a lot of support.

I guess I missed something that triggered this tirade. Would you mind pointing me to the specific group of posts to which you are referring?

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 18

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/17/2006 6:36:21 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I believe that this is a Place for you to gain some insights... But, The right place as in the only place... NO. Take what you can from here and leave the rest..... Look for other places as well.... Just not the online community/resources, but out in the Community or from books etc.

I personally am into alot of BDSM But, The Power Structure of the relationships I have with my two girls are very much a critical aspect of our interactions. We might not see the same page on the BDSM stuff.... but I am sure like many here you will beable to gain insight on the Power aspects.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MojoRisin)

Post #: 19

RE: No Whips, No Chains, No Pain... - 4/17/2006 6:36:23 AM

WyrdRich

Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

If I, as a Dominant woman, had written that I was interested in BDSM lifestyle (which I am), with no interest in whips and chains (which is pretty much true), and wanted an intensified Victorian household (which I do), and wanted to take care of a slave boy (which I do), and allow him the resources to obey and please me (which I do) and loving care for him as one would a pet (which I do) and expect total obedience on his part (which I do), and focus on cleaning and cooking (which I do) without focusing on the fetishism (which is absolutely true for me)......
what response would I have gotten?
Would I have been told to go join a religious cult?

No, I'd have said it sounded like you were trying to start one.

OP: I'm not about to pull out the Bible and start quoting chapter and verse but "wives submit to your husbands" is a big part of the doctrine in a lot of little churches scattered on the edge of town. I mentioned the Baptists because I spent a few years incarcerated in one of their schools (Jesus was on the same cell block), but there are a lot of options for him.

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 20

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