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RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 8:36:21 AM   
juliaoceania


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Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88


Because I would walk all over most "Daddy Doms" I see. That is why I say prick. Lovingly of course..

I get what you are saying, but a few of the posts in between our exchange kind of reiterate why I posted what I did, if you saw them. Like I said, it's not an absolute, I have seen some of these relationships that are great, but I have seen a lot of women looking for a savior to do everything for their "little girl." I find that to be way more stifling and repressive than a prick that demands you to be the best you are, and make your own choices and decisions and to actually stand on your own two feet without the help of "Daddy." I don't dig micromanaging and I don't need head pats and constant encouragement to function. I know, it's not always that way....but you get my point I think. To each their own. I want a relationship exactly like I have, and I am sure you do too. I hope we are both happy for a long time in them. Agreeing to disagree on this one Julia. :)


On this thread there is not one woman over 40 years old that expects a daddy dom to do everything for them.... not ONE. Now there are some cases of "we can agree to disagree", but then there are times when someone comes off as completely bigoted, and yeah, I will call them on it so that it does not sit on this thread as a "valid viewpoint" because it isn't.

What I have read over and over again on THIS thread is that there are women who see Daddy Doms as emotionally supportive, approachable, there for them when they need someone to lean on, interested in their lives. To me this just sounds like women who want healthy intimate caring relationships. Now perhaps some people can't understand what a healthy, caring, intimate relationship is or they don't want one... that is their issue

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Aynne88)
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RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 10:04:34 AM   
AsmodaisSin


Posts: 320
Joined: 7/28/2009
From: NOVA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88


Because I would walk all over most "Daddy Doms" I see. That is why I say prick. Lovingly of course..

I get what you are saying, but a few of the posts in between our exchange kind of reiterate why I posted what I did, if you saw them. Like I said, it's not an absolute, I have seen some of these relationships that are great, but I have seen a lot of women looking for a savior to do everything for their "little girl." I find that to be way more stifling and repressive than a prick that demands you to be the best you are, and make your own choices and decisions and to actually stand on your own two feet without the help of "Daddy." I don't dig micromanaging and I don't need head pats and constant encouragement to function. I know, it's not always that way....but you get my point I think. To each their own. I want a relationship exactly like I have, and I am sure you do too. I hope we are both happy for a long time in them. Agreeing to disagree on this one Julia. :)


On this thread there is not one woman over 40 years old that expects a daddy dom to do everything for them.... not ONE. Now there are some cases of "we can agree to disagree", but then there are times when someone comes off as completely bigoted, and yeah, I will call them on it so that it does not sit on this thread as a "valid viewpoint" because it isn't.

What I have read over and over again on THIS thread is that there are women who see Daddy Doms as emotionally supportive, approachable, there for them when they need someone to lean on, interested in their lives. To me this just sounds like women who want healthy intimate caring relationships. Now perhaps some people can't understand what a healthy, caring, intimate relationship is or they don't want one... that is their issue


Okay...I feel like I'm stalking now, but...I agree completely.  Wow. 


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RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 12:00:58 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

What I have read over and over again on THIS thread is that there are women who see Daddy Doms as emotionally supportive, approachable, there for them when they need someone to lean on, interested in their lives. To me this just sounds like women who want healthy intimate caring relationships.


This would be me, and I'm well over 40. 

He does not fix anything for me. He has my back when I need someone to have my back, and he helps me sort my thoughts out and encourages me to be happy.  But that's just him being a loving, supportive leader. 

He is also my Master and Owner.  He most certainly can put his foot down and say "This is what will happen" when he feels he needs to.  We had a very loving conversation last night in which he told me he'd probably be that way more often, but my heart is still rather delicate (history stuff) and he wants to be careful.

I really don't see what Aynne does, about girls talking about "My Daddy fixing everything."  To be honest, I see that about more Masters than I do about Daddy's.  "I was lost until Master found me."  "My Master changed my life" and so on. Just look at some of my posts in my previous CM name and you'll see I have said the same thing. I think the notion of having one's life "fixed" runs across the board - to masters, daddy's, dominants, even egalitarian partnerships.  Maybe the "white knight syndrome" is being confused with a particular kind of dominant.  But I'm just speculating.

I really don't understand some of the disparaging remarks I see (not just on this thread) about the Daddy type of ownership. It seems to affect people in an internalized way. But I understand we all have our hang-ups.  After my last relationship I couldn't even say "Master" because of the pain I went through.  I had to look internally to understand why I was so bothered by that word, or by others referring to their owners as such.  Now it's a non-issue.  I could very well be wrong but I do feel that when others speak so negatively about a particular dynamic, they have their own unresolved issues about it.  And I don't mean that as an insult, because we all have things we have issues about.  I have had huge issues about a particular dynamic type for a long time, until I looked inside and understood why, and got past it.

So, no harm no foul, but I do think many of the assessments made in this thread against the Daddy-Owner dynamic are incorrect and based on something else.


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RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 1:10:46 PM   
yellowroses


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spartacus25

I've noticed a few submissive females here referring to their partner as "daddy". I don't mean to disrespect their relationships, but I find the concept a tad unsettling.

As a male, I can't envision calling a female "mommy", and I was wondering if those involved in such a relationship could explain themselves a bit. I have a desire to understand, but from the outside looking in it seems a bit incestuous, and thus off-putting.


I have ZERO tolerance for it as well. I have not called any Dominant that I have been with Daddy. WAY to creepy for me. It has nothing to do with how strict or not my partner is. It is just not a dynamic that I am into.

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RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 1:17:39 PM   
yellowroses


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/12/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

I will be honest and it isn't meant to incite flames. I have a hard time getting it, because the women I see most often using it are 40 and up, usually with their own kids, and seem to be seeking a save me fix it all for me man, their perfect "Daddy". I think that is partly why I have issues understanding it.
I think it's the other, more prevelant ones like "my Daddy did this, my Daddy fixed me, My Daddy made me lose weight, My Daddy explained how I should think, feel, eat, sleep, balance my checkbook...argh." Poor Daddy, isn't he tired?


Aynne-That is my experience as well.

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RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 1:22:50 PM   
yellowroses


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/12/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania


quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I do not understand calling my dom sir or master or lord... It is too impersonal for my taste... so it is either their given name or "daddy" OR nothing.




Sooo...I guess "Lord God Almighty" is out of the question?


I would consider it, if he were a lord and a god and almighty... haven't met the trifecta of doms though


I firmly believe you would consider it after you met AnimusRex. Of course I am His number 1 fan so I have a biased opinion.

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RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 1:24:22 PM   
nancygirl34652


Posts: 291
Joined: 3/10/2010
Status: offline 		so then the moral of this story, as it always is, is your kink may not be my kink but it's yours to have and enjoy.....and just as i would not criticize another's kink (unless of course it led to maiming or death), i am hopeful to not have my kink criticized....i may be showing my age with my music memories, but remember...."different strokes for different folks and so on and so on and scooby-dooby-dooby"

if it's not what you like, then don't do it....but don't disparage what others enjoy.

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RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 1:30:46 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

if it's not what you like, then don't do it....but don't disparage what others enjoy.


I agree.  But wishful thinking.


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RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 1:33:02 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

I will be honest and it isn't meant to incite flames. I have a hard time getting it, because the women I see most often using it are 40 and up, usually with their own kids, and seem to be seeking a save me fix it all for me man, their perfect "Daddy". I think that is partly why I have issues understanding it. But then some people, like DRH, she somehow carries it off to be healthy, loving, balanced and really not a big issue. I love their dynamic. I think it's the other, more prevelant ones like "my Daddy did this, my Daddy fixed me, My Daddy made me lose weight, My Daddy explained how I should think, feel, eat, sleep, balance my checkbook...argh." Poor Daddy, isn't he tired?


There are a lot of damsels in distress posing as submissives and little girls. In turn there are a lot of white knights and men seeking a companion marketing themselves as daddy's and dominants. And since CollarMe isn't the only space within this realm where the BDSM is discussed, it is possible that the behaviors mentioned have been observed elsewhere. I know I've seen them and I've been participating in groups long before the site's inception.

Suffice to say you've got a lot of mucked up people on both sides of the whip. And some that are incapable of self-control and maintenance of any sort that rely on someone else to do it for them. But you can see the same outside of kink as well. Co-dependency doesn't limit itself to the confines of BDSM or any other subculture for that matter.

~porcelaine


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His will; my fate.

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RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 1:37:49 PM   
porcelaine


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Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

On this thread there is not one woman over 40 years old that expects a daddy dom to do everything for them.... not ONE. Now there are some cases of "we can agree to disagree", but then there are times when someone comes off as completely bigoted, and yeah, I will call them on it so that it does not sit on this thread as a "valid viewpoint" because it isn't.


I can't speak for the other women on this thread save one. And I'm horribly biased regarding her awesomeness. I have found that what people say in public and how they live isn't always identical. But to each his own. Truth be told the Daddy Dom thing isn't for me. I'd run him over without batting an eye. However, I respect another person's right to choose their flavor as they see fit. My opinion shouldn't matter either way.

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 1:43:34 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine
Truth be told the Daddy Dom thing isn't for me. I'd run him over without batting an eye.


Hi porcelaine,

I am curious, and perhaps you can explain - the part about running him over.  Is there an assumption then, that Daddy's do not uphold the rules and boundaries they set forth?  It certainly is not my personal experience.


quote:


However, I respect another person's right to choose their flavor as they see fit.



I, for one, appreciate this, as certain dynamics are not respected, which I actually find enlightening.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 1:58:04 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

Hi porcelaine,

I am curious, and perhaps you can explain - the part about running him over.  Is there an assumption then, that Daddy's do not uphold the rules and boundaries they set forth?  It certainly is not my personal experience.


Not at all. For me it is a matter of personality and compatibility. Leadership comes in different formats and I prefer a firmer hand over a softer touch. That doesn't mean he's less efficient, but it does suggest that bringing me to heel is not a possibility. He must be my complement.

quote:

I, for one, appreciate this, as certain dynamics are not respected, which I actually find enlightening.


It really is none of my business. I don't have to like it, but then again I'm not living it either.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 2:13:57 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine
Truth be told the Daddy Dom thing isn't for me. I'd run him over without batting an eye.


Hi porcelaine,

I am curious, and perhaps you can explain - the part about running him over.  Is there an assumption then, that Daddy's do not uphold the rules and boundaries they set forth?  It certainly is not my personal experience.


quote:


However, I respect another person's right to choose their flavor as they see fit.



I, for one, appreciate this, as certain dynamics are not respected, which I actually find enlightening.



I remember in another lifetime, when I was with a Daddy and you were a slave. Remember how we explained our dynamics on this board with mutual respect? Remember how we tried to understand each other? That attitude made you by far not only one of my favorite posters, but someone whom I wouldn't hesitate to call and confide in. I wish there was more of that here these days, it would make sharing here a lot more fun.


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 2:19:31 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

On this thread there is not one woman over 40 years old that expects a daddy dom to do everything for them.... not ONE. Now there are some cases of "we can agree to disagree", but then there are times when someone comes off as completely bigoted, and yeah, I will call them on it so that it does not sit on this thread as a "valid viewpoint" because it isn't.


I can't speak for the other women on this thread save one. And I'm horribly biased regarding her awesomeness. I have found that what people say in public and how they live isn't always identical. But to each his own. Truth be told the Daddy Dom thing isn't for me. I'd run him over without batting an eye. However, I respect another person's right to choose their flavor as they see fit. My opinion shouldn't matter either way.

~porcelaine


Here is where you and I differ. I don't need unkind, unfeeling, "prick" type of man to feel submissive, I only submit to quite the opposite. If I choose to be submissive to someone I wouldn't even DREAM of trying to "run him over". Some of us do not need strict stern firm men. Some of us respond to dominant, not domineering.

The man I am currently dating is completely a dominant person. He doesn't need to convince me, it exudes from his skin. He sees it, he wants it, he gets it.....he doesn't need to beat on his chest in a "domly" fashion. He just "is"... and he just wants me to "be". He is also a Daddy Dom... which is what I tend to attract because I am not a slave sort.

As far as people living differently from what they say as opposed to what they do? Well yeah, they do, which applies to EVERYONE posting here, not just Daddies and their girls.



_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 2:24:48 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

I really don't understand some of the disparaging remarks I see (not just on this thread) about the Daddy type of ownership. It seems to affect people in an internalized way. But I understand we all have our hang-ups. 


I understand people have hangups. I am honest about mine... yeah, age play isn't "my" thing. I could never do it because it would bother me. That does not make everyone who engages in age play emotionally stunted, some how inferior in their living skills, etc etc etc.

Many people who do age play enjoy it precisely because they have to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and it gives them release. I think that it is a lot more healthy to wear diapers and color then it is to get drunk and beat your kids and/or wife.... but that is just me.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 2:28:04 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I remember in another lifetime, when I was with a Daddy and you were a slave. Remember how we explained our dynamics on this board with mutual respect? Remember how we tried to understand each other? That attitude made you by far not only one of my favorite posters, but someone whom I wouldn't hesitate to call and confide in. I wish there was more of that here these days, it would make sharing here a lot more fun.



I do remember, and what a lifetime ago it was!!  I loved (and still do) our conversations and how we would ask questions to understand, rather than criticize what we did not understand. 

I share far less on the board these days. But I am very grateful for the offline friends I have made here.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 2:32:08 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

I share far less on the board these days. But I am very grateful for the offline friends I have made here.


It is unfortunate you share less, you have a lot to offer from your experiences, both good and bad, to many of us here. I am likewise grateful for those friendships too...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 2:32:56 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

Not at all. For me it is a matter of personality and compatibility. Leadership comes in different formats and I prefer a firmer hand over a softer touch. That doesn't mean he's less efficient, but it does suggest that bringing me to heel is not a possibility. He must be my complement.



Oops I missed this.

I can understand the desire/need for a strict touch, as I had that once myself.  I'm not sure it's universal that a Daddy does not have a firm hand.  Mine can, but has not felt the need to exercise it.  Based on who I am now, he knows I would crumble under that type of treatment.  But from where I came, compared to now, I do see the difference, for sure.  And I felt similarly - that my personality would steamroll over someone who didn't smack me down.  I also felt a Daddy would not be someone I could thrive under...but I changed - oh boy did I change LOL.

May we all find our compliments.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



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Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 2:36:15 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		The responses here are funny. So many people are judging each other back and forth while claiming they aren't.

Whatever works for people works. Stern isn't necessarily domineering. Kind isn't necessarily someone you can run over.

Thankfully, most people aren't all of one thing or another. Most Doms aren't either. You can actually have a partner that is kind, loving, supportive and approachable and still at times stern and demanding which doesn't necessarily mean micromanaging either.

There's no right or wrong and y'all know better.



_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Daddy dominants - 7/26/2010 2:38:42 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

I really don't understand some of the disparaging remarks I see (not just on this thread) about the Daddy type of ownership. It seems to affect people in an internalized way. But I understand we all have our hang-ups. 


quote:


I understand people have hangups. I am honest about mine... yeah, age play isn't "my" thing. I could never do it because it would bother me. That does not make everyone who engages in age play emotionally stunted, some how inferior in their living skills, etc etc etc.


I certainly have my own share of hang ups, which I look at regularly.  I think it's when I wasn't looking at my own issues that I was most critical about others.  Quite some time ago I realized if I was negatively effected by what someone else was saying or doing, I ought to look internally and figure out what it's touching in me that was causing me to react.  I found some interesting stuff in there, lol.  But no, not everyone who partakes in kinks that I don't, can be accurately labeled as (insert criticism here). 

quote:


Many people who do age play enjoy it precisely because they have to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and it gives them release. I think that it is a lot more healthy to wear diapers and color then it is to get drunk and beat your kids and/or wife.... but that is just me.


I can't imagine myself in diapers but then again, I learned a long time ago to never depend on "never" LOL. 

OK I screwed up quotes but it's taking me too long to figure it out, so this is the best it's gonna get lol.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 100
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