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RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 12:56:53 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xXsoumisXx


quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

I dont like some of what looks like favoritism with the mods, some folks with not many posts getting a cute name in their avatar spot while some peeps been here way longer and seem to be able to lose the stock thing written there.


Hi Heartcream,

What do you think is enough posts and time to justify a cute name in the avatar spot? I'm not being snarky, I'm genuinely curious as to what point you would find it did not imply favoritism?


Maybe if all requests were honored?


Hi xXsoumisXx,
If all requests are honored (and i've no reason to assume they aren't), then the time frame and number of posts would not be the issue.

(in reply to xXsoumisXx)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 12:59:18 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I am still 'Condemned'

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 1:02:27 PM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		I like CM but my English friends may tease me if they knew
This is the site I met Steve on and the site I met my previous partner 4 years prior.
I know a lot more people in rl on my regular English site but even on here we have managed to meet up and have a drink with some really nice American couples as well as some English folk.
I enjoy the banter, the discussions and even the heated debates.
In my opinion this site has changed for the better or perhaps that's more to do with me taking less stick because I'm more an old timer now
I wish the forums could do stickies regarding certain issues such as safety, the risks of cross contamination and such like.
I also don't wish to see who has looked at my profile or be shown to of looked at someone else's but I understand why they do that because at the end of the day this is a dating site.

That's about it really.... rock on CM and I hope its here for many years to come.


_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to xXsoumisXx)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 1:25:55 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		For me, it is 98% entertainment, 1% a moment now and then of sitting, smiling smugly, thinking damn I can't believe someone would do something that fucking dumb and 1% thinking man, I am so glad to know I am not the only person to ever do something that fucking dumb.

I really do get a lot of great belly laughs here though, and I am all for a good laugh, even if I am the butt of the joke.  But please don't make fun of me as I am a very sensitive kind of chickie!



_____________________________

yep

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 1:31:22 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I'd like to ask all of you, what is CM to you?


It's exactly what I want it to be. I take responsibility for my online experiences, good, bad and indifferent. I enjoy entertainment, education and expression. When the cost of the things I enjoy becomes too high for the benefits I gain I take a break. If it becomes so unbalanced that the cost will always be too high, I will leave. There are other venues to explore both inside and outside of BDSM.

quote:

Do you think it has changed?


Ebb and flow is natural, so yes and it's proper and good that it does.

quote:

It that change for the better or worse?


Time will answer that question. If quality posters are attracted, then change is good. If quality posters leave, then change was not so good. Quality, of course, is quite subjective and it may be that Collarme is more concerned about quantity and click counts. I have no idea. I only know what appeals to me and what will keep me here and what wastes my time and will cause me to look elsewhere. No one being is indispensible so whatever the overall motive and agenda of the powers that be is .. their actions and decisions are what will drive the site in the direction they wish it to go. That direction will appeal to some and will not appeal to others. Pretty simple. Sort of like an M/s relationship. If the Master has a clear path, is consistant, follows through, they will attract a faithful and loyal submissive.

Masters have exactly the slaves they deserve. Websites have exactly the sort of users they desire.

quote:

What would you like to see differently?


I would like to see the owners of the website remain true to whatever standards they have.. and if that's attractive to me, I'll continue to stick around. Being true to yourself is where it's at for me. There are real people behind this site and they had a vision when they started. I hope they have achieved what they set out to achieve and will continue to do so for many years to come. That will be up to them and those whom they allow to wear mod suits on their sites behalf.

quote:

What do YOU do to resolve conflicts and make CM a place for the accepting and open exchange of ideas for everyone?


I'm not a mod. It's not my job to resolve conflicts and I'm not *here* to resolve conflicts. In fact, I pretty much try to avoid them as much as I can. I will call bullshit when I see it and I try not to fling it around myself but I'm on good terms with my block button and use it freely to keep my time here pleasant.

If CM is truly a place for the accepting and open exchange of ideas then it is up to TPTB to make sure thats what happens. They hold the reins, it's up to them to drive the team. If they drive it towards a cliff.. I'm jumping off the wagon. If they are heading towards a great forest with a nice little picnic area, maybe a waterfall in the background.. well, that's pretty damn appealing, so I'd stick around. Savvy?




_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 1:36:27 PM   
xXsoumisXx


Posts: 339
Joined: 7/26/2009
From: USA
Status: offline 		Re changes:

I don't know what criteria is used, but i suspect that it is a squeaky wheel kind of thing.

And that was my point that if all requests were honored, then # of posts or join date would not be important.

I kind of like them, they reflect a little more of the personality of the poster.:)

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 1:45:49 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Ah...Collarme...

I love Collarme because:

1. It is fun.
2. It is a comfort knowing I am in a place where people have similar interests.
3. It is hot.
4. It is informative.
5. It is funny as hell.
6. I work at home, so it is great entertainment and distraction for me.
7. I like drama, it's like a soap opera here sometimes
8. I have met and communicated with a number of really cool men and women that I would never have met otherwise. My social circle is totally vanilla so this fills that need for understanding when others cannot relate.
9. I have dated alot from Collarme. Have not met the next Mr. DomRight, but it has been interesting...and very hot at times. :)
10. It allows me to flirt my head off with everyone I like.
11. It allows me a place to express my opinions, thoughts, feelings and humor.
12. It allows me to create summary lists like this.
13. I discovered a vast constellation of the most adorable emoticons, even though I have no idea how Holly finds them.

As far as how it has changed..I for one, am thrilled with the new regime. I was banned for a long time by XI, which I still maintain was not warranted in comparison to some, but I am back and happy about it.

I like the new moderation, much more fluid, open, accepting and with a great sense of humor.

I find CM easier to navigate than FetLife. I cannot work so hard over there to find people or threads that interest me, this layout works better for me.

I really would not change much about CM, since it is free and anyone is free to come and go as they please.

Now, about those avatar titles, how do I get one and anyone have any suggestions on what it should be? I feel there should be something about Diva in the title, but who knows...:)

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 7/21/2010 1:47:02 PM >

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 1:47:54 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xXsoumisXx

Re changes:

I don't know what criteria is used, but i suspect that it is a squeaky wheel kind of thing.

And that was my point that if all requests were honored, then # of posts or join date would not be important.

I kind of like them, they reflect a little more of the personality of the poster.:)


Have you noticed what's been going on around here lately? I would think that the number of request for a change could be high and there have been far more serious things going on. The site has been down, things going wrong and lots of drama. Before we go to the point of thinking favoritism is a factor, maybe we should consider a few other things that might actually be the main factor. Rome wasn't built in a day or even a few months and the changes you are speaking of was a recent thing... just before Rome was burning.

Really, if that is a basis for complaint... you really haven't much to complain about. But to put a favoritism label on it... just seems unfair at this point.


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to xXsoumisXx)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 1:51:57 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: xXsoumisXx

Re changes:

I don't know what criteria is used, but i suspect that it is a squeaky wheel kind of thing.

And that was my point that if all requests were honored, then # of posts or join date would not be important.

I kind of like them, they reflect a little more of the personality of the poster.:)


Have you noticed what's been going on around here lately? I would think that the number of request for a change could be high and there have been far more serious things going on. The site has been down, things going wrong and lots of drama. Before we go to the point of thinking favoritism is a factor, maybe we should consider a few other things that might actually be the main factor. Rome wasn't built in a day or even a few months and the changes you are speaking of was a recent thing... just before Rome was burning.

Really, if that is a basis for complaint... you really haven't much to complain about. But to put a favoritism label on it... just seems unfair at this point.



Hi Lockit,

I think the confusion is my fault. I should have listed who I was quoting (heartcream) in my quotes.

Heartcream expressed some frustration at what she stated appeared to be favoritism. I was asking for a little clarification. Soumis wasn't the one pointing any fingers at favoritism at all, in fact she was doing exactly the opposite.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 1:56:42 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I see! lol Then I am sorry if I was confused and will go back and read things again and try to keep it straight! Thank you Winsome!

Soumis, if I am incorrect on who said what, I am sorry I highlighted your post for my response!


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 2:01:14 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I am still 'Condemned'


I'm sure it will soon be replaced by "Ward's Owner" although I'm not sure why Laurell isn't "Ward's Beaver"

this is all very confusing

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 2:02:26 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Nope... I just need to add a nick. My prior post would fit both heartcream and soumis. 

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 2:02:39 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Wards Girl


That would be beautiful!

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 2:15:53 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Wards Girl


That would be beautiful!


How quickly they forget...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3321009/mpage_2/key_/tm.htm#3321839


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 2:17:12 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I wrote to support to get my cute name. Have they stopped honoring requests?

Heartcream, some folks log right on to the chat side and never look at mail unless they have to. There's no way from this side to see if you have a pm.

I come here to hang with my pals. I have no pressing desire to discuss BDSM issues, but I do get a lot from hearing how others live their lives.

I moderate elsewhere, I know what a hellish job it is. I like the more relaxed methods, though I remain against anonymous moderation.

I've made wonderful real life friends here, gotten my heart broken, grew a thicker skin--and I had one to start with!


_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to xXsoumisXx)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 2:18:36 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I'd like to ask all of you, what is CM to you?

It's a place where I have learned, continue to learn and (so I'm told) offer a few words of useful advice myself. It's a place where I've met FANTASTIC friends, gotten a lot of support in rough times, and had quite a lot of laughs. It's a good place to be.
quote:


Do you think it has changed? It that change for the better or worse? What would you like to see differently?

Since I joined? Oh G-d yes it has changed.

The level and style of moderation has changed, in some ways I agree with and some I really don't. The community has changed - people have left and others have joined. Overall, though, I don't think the spirit of the place has changed. It's a tough love and very loving community.
quote:


What do YOU do to resolve conflicts and make CM a place for the accepting and open exchange of ideas for everyone?


I try to be fair in my responses and questions. What else can one do? I'm not looking to turn CM into a big "we love everyone" group. There are plenty of those groups and they definately have their place. But it's nice to have options. Many people I see talking about "accepting everyone" are only accepting of those who see the world the way they do. They can't accept that other people aren't as interested everyone getting along perfectly and make backhanded insults at others by talking about what they don't do.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 2:38:33 PM   
splorff


Posts: 386
Joined: 2/23/2008
Status: offline 		I have not really been paying enough attention to say whether I think it has changed.

I like the occasional post. I like chatting to and reading of those in far away places . I like the occasional bad manners,the haughty jerks and flame wars. I like reading colloquialisms I don't understand from the colonies : He, she is hitting on him/her ? and other Americanisms are quite entertaining.

There is also an Australian in here, maybe several. I really enjoy their humour. Where are the Canuks, Rhodesians, New Zealanders and South Africans ? We miss you guys.

Its fun in here. I'm not really hoping for anything more.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 2:55:30 PM   
fipsie69


Posts: 48
Joined: 7/3/2009
Status: offline 		I‘d like to ask all of you, what is CM to you?
I’m new here, semi-clueless, have my girl and not looking but been learning loads of stuff even if quite a lot of it will never be on the table at home. It’s fun, makes me laugh regularly and a hang out that’s better than TV with more real characters. Some of the threads and posts are really touching, you feel for the honesty, courage and humanity of the individuals and think *ah, I’m not alone in thinking/wondering about this or that*. Some of the post are stunningly well written and there’s some really bright people on here which has given me new angles/arguments on subjects (and I’m quite stubborn so that’s saying something). I start at the General BDSM then go to Casual Banter for light entertainment coz I need it by then.

Do you think it has changed? It that change for the better or worse? What would you like to see differently?
Not been on the boards long enough to say anything to these.

What do YOU do to resolve conflicts and make CM a place for the accepting and open exchange of ideas for everyone?
If I can’t say something funny, interesting, positive or flirty that hasn’t already been said, I don’t post. I don’t post much - hhhuuummm? Who wants conflict in their free time!?

Fluffy newbie

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 3:05:04 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		It means I can come here and laugh.

It also means that for the first time ever, I am kinda tight with the owner of a web site.


Ron is DOMINATE!!!!!!!!!!!

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 7/21/2010 3:12:00 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		Not that you're asking.... but I think the turmoil and criticism comes from those that take themselves far too seriously.

I've been around for a few years and I've seen changes but they don't directly impact me, so I don't care either way. I figure if there's a change there's a reason.

What is CM to me?

It's a place to hang out with like minded people.
A place to vent and share good things.
A place that my kink is accepted.
CM is a place where I've made new friends and some of them I've met in r/l.
More times that not I find great humor in many of the posters and enjoy them very much.

Not to sound too corny, but I've actually learned quite a bit on CM. For example, just cause your kink (generally speaking) isn't my kink, that doesn't make it wrong ... it just means it's not for me. So, I guess I've become more accepting of differences among the peanut gallery so to speak ( I say that in a loving way )

To make it a bit more personal, CM has been a place where I've learned to self edit a bit more when sharing on the boards. I made a few mistakes early on when posting and learned valuable lessons. You know that old saying.... think before you speak, well ya, think before you type works pretty much the same way.

As far as conflict. I personally have had a few but the ones I've had are just that, mine and I take ownership of them.

What would I like to see differently? Oh, this is a very deep response to your question sweet laurell, I would like more smileys/icons/emotions whatever ya wanna call them.


_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to xXsoumisXx)
Profile   Post #: 40
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