laurell3
Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Lockit
What this site means to me whether it is exactly how I want it to be, like days of old or what it is now and will become, is the easiest site to function in, as consistent as it can be and a place I am loyal to because it is all that it is. What I don’t know or see, is something I am sure, someone here is taking care of. Can a site’s staff see all? I seriously doubt it and would think that this site depends on reports, not complaints and help in seeing what is going on. Some of those favoritism complaints I am sure fall into this area of what is seen and what is not seen or even known about someone or something.
You want to know something, you can learn it here. You want to laugh and play, you can laugh and play. Because CM is easy to use, some can take advantage of it and they bombard the site, but with reason, when I have contacted support about scammers and things I thought wrong, the response has been wonderful. The thing that makes CM great also makes CM vulnerable. Through the good and the bad, I find more good here than bad and so I stay.
To the complainers I would like to say… Be a part of the solution rather than the problem. AND… He who has no sin, cast the first stone!
Lockit, thank you. You expressed many of my sentiments almost exactly. (I snipped it a bit for brevity).
When I first joined CM, I was different. Like many here now, I was reluctant to post and almost intimidated by a few of the big personalities here and if you think there are some here now, you have missed a few big ones that were a tossback to the old IRC days and felt submissives had no right to question anything a Dom had to say....oy...that was something and I learned to tell them to kiss my ass, thus my gold letters were earned by rite of passage that was the old CM. CM has become more friendlier in that regard and if someone espouses that type of attitude (and there are still a few that do), they get corrected by the masses rather quickly.
I'm torn on the issue of moderation. I like the new moderation and really I have to wonder about the people that complain about it not being stringent enough. I don't see how difficult it is to just laugh at someone that has an ax to grind and uses the internet to take out their personal frustrations. I don't get how one can't just disregard the posts that they feel aren't relevant to the discussion. I think the answer is that many are here for validation and while I don't think there's anything wrong with that, it's a losing proposition and not something you will get here. A feeling of belonging and friendship, sure, but personal validation, nah. Perspective I believe is the key to navigating situations and when one lacks it, those situations are perceived in all sorts of ways that may or may not be true. Moderation will never fix that.
The reason I say I'm torn is because I see posters who I don't believe lack perspective, who contribute real value (imo) to the forums unhappy. I think it's a catch 22 situation for admin, they cannot please everyone all the time. I do agree with Lockit that there are many things that go on that we aren't privy to. To assume that nothing is being done when the action is all behind the scenes is a bit foolish and paranoid in my opinion. I do know this, I have discovered over the years, that the admin here (with one exception who I won't name and I think it's been beat to death and not relevant to the present state of CM), are approachable.
Rather than waiting until one is being moderated I would suggest using the customer service function and talking about your concerns. I don't mean reporting every post you get ruffled by, I mean in general. I have found that being proactive about change rather than starting a shitstorm and tantrum is much more effective and better received.
With regard to change, I think the lifestyle in general has become more mainstream. I don't think CM can change that. I do think we see more "fluffy" type people that are not around for long because of that trend. Trends come and go and this too shall pass.
The one thing that's always struck me as odd about CM is the aversion to really discuss anything sexual in detail. I do recognize that no one wants to be some moron's wankfodder for the evening, however, the group mentality here to avoid anything sexually detailed has always stuck me as odd. I do recognize though that the moment a female puts something on these boards that is explicitly sexual, her cmail starts taking hits, and yes, it's creepy. I'm not sure what the resolution is there, maybe none.
Finally, I do want to say personally about conflicts that while there are some posters that I personally find less than valuable in their opinions and pontifications, they are very few. I do tend to learn from almost everyone here, albeit sometimes in snippets. I take what I can from others opinions and compare them to my own and discard the rest. I'm not a grudge carrier either and when I run into conflict here, you will usually find me in your mailbox attempting to find common ground and resolve the issue amicably or at least agreeing to disagree. What's ironic is some of the people I value most here and feel the most similarity to started out that way. We simply cannot assume ill intent from words on a public forum without checking it out. I don't mean taking the bitchfest to the mailbox, that I will not respond to. I do mean really attempting to resolve differences with one on one communication.
I think CM is what you make it. Like any other place, there are positives and negatives here. The grass really isn't greener on the other side. For me it is a place of acceptance, laughter and friendship. I've met some really incredible people over the years and continue to learn here. It saddens me that people toss up their hands and leave that had something to contribute, I do have to wonder why they didn't make an attempt to resolve their conflicts/concerns, but I guess I approach it from my own vantage point and rarely, if ever, quit without pursuing as many options as I can. I don't want to speak for her, but I do know that VAA does listen to concerns and cannot read every post.
_____________________________
I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.
When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.
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RE: Collar Me, what is it to you? - 
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