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RE: my Master ignored me - 4/17/2006 2:54:32 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		This is from your own profile

"I also have the fortunate gift of 'wisdom" so if there are any 'wannabes' that want to be something ...please keep going ..."

You gotta get smart girl, life is too short to waste, from the intensity of the feelings you described I dont think an online relationship is the right thing for you, let alone an online relationship with a married man.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: my Master ignored me - 4/17/2006 3:19:38 PM   
angelgirl7473


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/16/2006
Status: offline
hmm.. being ignoured for 9 days.. ... try 2 going on 3 weeks!!! i finally got fed up and im back in here and got myself a new profile and am searching again.
I have no Idea what Became of this Master i was In touch with..  he either released me and i didnt know about it, Or the Worst Happened and i Have no way Of Ever finding out...Who knows.

(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: my Master ignored me - 4/17/2006 3:28:39 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I mean dang, what will you really be getting out of this situation except mental fodder?  There's plenty of married men local to you who would be happy to meet for random trysts so you can at least experience some physical fun and attachment.

If you're going to have an affair, at least make it as satisfying as possible for yourself.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sub001)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: my Master ignored me - 4/17/2006 3:30:11 PM   
XFMaster


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline 		you Master has a responsibility to you as His sub/slave. as a Master who recognizes His responsibility I wouldn't do this to you. having said that, I suggest that you release Him as your Master, if He can't fulfill His responsibility than find someone who will.

(in reply to angelgirl7473)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: my Master ignored me - 4/17/2006 4:36:32 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		sub001:
The previous posters have summed it up fairly well. The only thing I have to add is a page from Dr. Phil's website < not sure if he is well known there >. His advice is about dating a married man, altho you don't physically date, the principles apply.

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/41

You are in a no win situation,  at best. You have alot to lose.  Yourself.

                                        mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to XFMaster)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: my Master ignored me - 4/17/2006 4:48:37 PM   
sub001


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/9/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you so much all of you ...I have been reading the responses and its opening my eyes wider than every before..sometimes what is needed is 'positive reinforcement'...Im not totally stupid (i say totally..because i believe to a degree this is my fault too) ...but now im so much better informed by people who have 'lived' this lifestyle and who want to pass on positive experiences to others..I can only thank you for that..I am a good person and kind and loving person who gives so much of myself to someone I feel i love or have deep feelings for and im proud that who i am...I have known I have been submissive for many many years in fact its fair to say since i was very young...and this person brought that to the surface..if he gets recognition for nothing else .I will give him that...my journey has just begun..I will embrace the words of wisdom and experience you have spoken of...and sircumsslut...ill be in touch ...

(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: my Master ignored me - 4/17/2006 4:50:41 PM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		i always fear i have been displeasing somehow when i dont hear form Master/Mistress.
i try to console myself with they are busy and when i am with them fulltime it will be different.
i still always hear from them everyday and i cant be spoiled with attn all the time but 9 days, omg, i would be begging and kissing their feet for some time with them.
i would feel so abandoned.

may i suggest you do some lists as to the pros and cons of the relationship and see if it is truly meeting your needs as a sub/slave or just giving you insecurities.

good luck ((hugs))

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to sub001)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: my Master ignored me - 4/17/2006 7:52:08 PM   
enthralled


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Nashville, Tn
Status: offline 		Some reading that may help you.....

http://www.submissiveloving.com/online.html 

http://www.dark-stars.com/Steel%27s%20Chamber%20Scrolls/Married_Dominants.htm  

http://www.submissivewomenspeak.net/romanreal.htm 

I hope any of this can be helpful

Respectfully,
enthralled

_____________________________

A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another's.-Jean Paul Richter

(in reply to sub001)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: my Master ignored me - 4/17/2006 8:37:29 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Your online "master" is a liar, a cheat, and a selfish shit. I am sorry that you were so badly hurt, but really it is all you can expect from an overseas online relationship with a married man who's vanilla wife has no idea you exist....I am afraid you got caught up in the most certain recipe for a sub's heart being broken there is.. make yourself a few rules
1. Unmarried
2. Local enough to visit with a reasonable amount of requenct
3. NEVER AGAIN

If I come across as unsympathetic, it is because I basically am, you yourself know you should have known better, pull yourself together and move on, chalk this one up to a learning experience...and if you really want some revenge...send his wife a copy of some of your steamier chats

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to sub001)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: my Master ignored me - 4/17/2006 9:07:15 PM   
delicateme


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline 		I have been in your situation myself.  You can not help who you fall in love with.  It is also hard to trust someone.  So when you feel you have found someone you trust it can be hard to let go.  I had the same Master for 10 years.  More than the last 3 years of that was very little talking to each other.  It got to where it was only if I called him and it was extremely rare that he answered me when I called.  When he did he could not say much to me.  Because he was at work.  Not to go into all the details.  I will say my situation changed to the point that I had to have someone who could give me more than he could.  He knew I was looking.  He knew I had been looking for years.  But just didn't find anyone who matched up to him much less succeeded him.  That did not happen until I looked diligently.  Even then it took me 6 months.  It is hard to let go of something we become comfortable with.  There is no hurry for you to find someone else.  All I say is keep your options open. Enjoy what you have.  When you can.  for as long as it lasts.  When he is ignoring you remember you have options.  That doesn't mean you have to leave him or find someone else.  It means just that.  You have the option to stay with him or not.  If there is one thing we have.  It is to choose who we serve.  No hurry; enjoy the moments you have.  Remember you always have your memories of what was, and the excitement of what can come in the future.  The best of luck to you and yours.

delicate

(in reply to sub001)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: my Master ignored me - 4/17/2006 9:07:30 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LoganStrange

   You have a great need to serve and be owned, bless you for that, the punishment you recieved is the type of punishment that only affects a true slave, so again, bless you for being who you are.
That being said I must give you my thoughts.
A Master that goes behind his wifes back is not practicing consent, just the opposite, and can not be justified in punishing you for being upset at his deceit. a Master must be respected but only when worthy of that respect.
I beg you to consider seeking a Master worthy of your service.


AMEN and well said.
I don't understand the soulful female slave mentality as it's something I've fought against my entire life. You're giving your full self and your full divotion to someone that's unwilling to even give you all of the sloppy seconds.
In my mind ignoring a sub in obvious pain & turmoil is grounds for them leaving. It's right up there with these toolboxes that threaten to or actually do remove collars for punishment...this isn't punishment this is grounds for running the other way. This is someone that can't control themselves or manage something as basic as honesty, why considering your background would you set yourself up for obvious mental harm.

(in reply to LoganStrange)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: my Master ignored me - 4/17/2006 9:53:50 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		wow i really liked the Dr Phil response

Dating a Married Man
Are you the "other woman?" If you're involved with a married man, and you're waiting for your turn, it's time to re-evaluate your situation. Dr. Phil offers advice:
  • It's time to move forward.
    If you're putting your life on hold for a married man, he's stolen not only your heart — he's stolen your brain!
  • No matter how you justify it, you are attacking his family unit.
    Even if he is separated from his wife, that is their business and you are a threat to their marriage. You aren't welcome and you don't belong.
  • You may feel that he's your soulmate, but think again.
    A real soulmate would not set you on the sidelines. He wouldn't allow it, let alone entice it.
  • Keep in mind that you only know what he tells you.
    You already know that he's a liar because he's living a lie with his wife and children. How can you be sure whether you're the only "other woman" he has? Entertain the possibility that he is lying to you, and you are being used.
  • Think of his wife.
    Is it fair to her? She's been married to him for however many years, cleaned up after him when he's sick, raised children with him, sacrificed with him, dealt with the "damn dailies," then you come in at the 11th hour and provide a contrast to that that's new and exciting and fun. You are intruding upon her turf. You are a trespasser. It is no different than being a thief in the night. It is no different than breaking into their house and stealing their things.
  • Even if your married man decided to leave his wife and family for you, that doesn't guarantee success.
    Relationships born out of affairs survive less than 5 percent of the time. If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you. If he's living this deception with you today, how could you ever trust him if you did get into a legitimate relationship with him?
  • Break off this relationship today.
    You'll hurt, you'll feel broken-hearted, but you'll be better off. Take some time to get really clear with yourself about who you are and what you want. The most important relationship you'll ever have in this world is the one you have with yourself. And eventually, you'll fall in love again — with someone who's willing to make you first in his life.

    Good Stuff, I pasted it for those who didnt follow the link.

    _____________________________

    Freedom in Bondage

    Different Strokes for Different Folks

    "I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

    (in reply to theRose4U)
    • Profile   Post #: 32
    RE: my Master ignored me - 4/17/2006 9:59:34 PM   
    PenelopePitstop


    Posts: 254
    Joined: 4/22/2005
    From: UK
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: sub001

    Long story but would like to condense it for you...I met a Master online have been with him for 7 mths not RT but online ..phone....and yes he is married ...lives in another country USA actually  .to a vanilla wife who has no knowledge of me...he told me he would call me up to chat one night and then couldnt as his wife didnt go to bed ...so he came online to tell me so and we chatted for a while she watched a movie...he wasnt in a good mood to start with and so it eventually led to an arguement where i told him "you wanted a reason to leave now you have one"...he told me "that comment is going to cost you dearly"..he logged off and ignored me for 9 days... after 2 days..I sent him an email apologising for what i had said...I sent him a text message saying sorry....i asked him via text after 4 days to please talk to me as i was not coping ..he ignored me ..after another 3 days (at this stage i had become unwell wasnt eating wasnt sleeping and was crying a lot )..I texted him again and told him i wasnt asking him this time i was begging him to talk to me..he still ignored me ..finally after 8 days i sent him another text and told him that i wanted to make a request and needed to talk to him...he contacted me ..I told him that he ignored my cries for help and he said no i didnt the first time you told me you had a request to talk to me i answered you ....I wasnt familiar with the 'protocol' regarding letting him know i was in real pain and suffering and i feel he took advantage of that...I told him when we spoke that i once not only loved him but worshipped him..he asked "and now"?..i said and now im hoping i can get back to that place..he told me he did it for my own good...I felt it did me 'no good' only damage and im not certain he realises how much....I would like to hear your opinions on my Master ignoring me...we had a disagreement...but i dont believe my punishment was justified..I had suffered abondonment issues when i was a child and been raped ..he knew all this and yet he treated me this way...Im writing this and disbelieving what i am reading (sighs)...how does one differentiate between abuse and punishment?...he told me when we finally talked...would you have preferred i left you for 9 days or forever..i said for 9 days ..he said then i made the right choice didnt I....

    No offence luv, but he's got his cake and is eating it.

    The fact you have an abusive background does not surprise me.

    I don't think this is a healthy relationship for you. It doesn't allow you any dreams because he has a wife and I doubt he'll ever leave her. Certainly not for you because you've as good as said it's okay for him to jerk you around by staying around. Why should he leave?

    You've also affirmed to him that he can do something that breaks you into pieces and you'll come back for more.

    Where do you honestly see this going?

    While I accept that you can't just turn your feelings off for someone overnight, at least try and contact other guys, do the things you love, reach out and away from this.

    It's just simply not going to get better. Unless you learn to believe that you CAN do better than this.

    Edit: oh, and listen to SlaveJali. She is the Bizness.


    < Message edited by PenelopePitstop -- 4/17/2006 10:01:08 PM >

    _____________________________

    Wickedness is a myth created by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others ~ Oscar Wilde

    "You had me at Goodbye"

    (in reply to sub001)
    Profile   Post #: 33
    RE: my Master ignored me - 4/18/2006 12:58:17 AM   
    LadyNeets


    Posts: 188
    Joined: 11/8/2005
    Status: offline     		all I can say is the guy is a WANKER 

    Lady Neets 

    _____________________________

    I am not a bitch I am the Bitch and to you I am Mistress Bitch


    (in reply to ehlovindom)
    Profile   Post #: 34
    RE: my Master ignored me - 4/18/2006 2:06:22 AM   
    sub001


    Posts: 6
    Joined: 4/9/2006
    Status: offline     		You people have lifted my spirits so much and i am deeply greatful...thank you again and again...ive read and re read your postings and i am finding myself thinking ...who WAS this woman ..this woman that gave so much of herself for so little in return..???..who was this woman that thought by being so submissive she could actually keep her self respect...(something my Master told me was the most important thing in this world.).and who was this woman that truly believed she wasnt worthy of the love ..respect and consideration a woman that only delivers half of what i do ..gets...that woman is slowly waking and realisng she is worthy of all of the above...and today i went out and bought myself some things to pamper myself with ...im going to take a nice long bath .light some candles..sip my favourite italian sparkling wine...and listen to some of my favourite music..then im going to get online and start 'communicating' with other males..and take things very very slowly..if you were all close by id invite you in for a bath..lol..my heart is warmed by your 'thoughts'...i never understood this lifestyle or attraction ...now i have a better understanding of both....THANKYOU

    (in reply to LadyNeets)
    Profile   Post #: 35
    RE: my Master ignored me - 4/18/2006 3:58:39 AM   
    Badkitty0810


    Posts: 223
    Joined: 2/18/2006
    From: NH
    Status: offline     		It's a very sad thing when a woman, whether she be Domme or sub, does not know her own worth. I concur with what everyone else said. Your so-called "Dom" sounds like a total shit and you're better off without him. I read your profile and it sounds to me like you have a very clear idea of what you want.  Take a little bit of time to revisit that. You're an intelligent woman who has such a good heart.  I hope you find what you seek.

    (in reply to sub001)
    Profile   Post #: 36
    RE: my Master ignored me - 4/18/2006 4:26:21 AM   
    CanadianGuy


    Posts: 219
    Status: offline     		sub001, I feel for you.  You aren't guilty, IMO, of anything but being naive.  And that's no crime.  It sounds like you've been tricked.  Your "dom" sounds like he's frustrated with his home life and taking it out on you.  It doesn't sound like he's in good control of himself.  While there may be hope, I'd suggest that you open your eyes and do some thinking.  Maybe there's someone better out there for you?  Don't compromise your needs for someone who treats you like that.  You are a true submissive, that much is obvious.  Make sure you're giving yourself to someone equally as true - who really deserves a good girl like you!

    EDIT: That Dr Phil quote has me thinking about myself, now.  Even though I'm already in the separation process, I find myself hoping my girl never runs across that quote!  Yikes.  5% sucess rate?  Ouch.  :(  I've told my girl that she's my one true love, and I honestly believe what I'm saying.  I believe that it's going to work out, in time... but that 5% figure has me a little on edge.  Ugh!

    < Message edited by CanadianGuy -- 4/18/2006 4:38:10 AM >

    (in reply to ehlovindom)
    Profile   Post #: 37
    RE: my Master ignored me - 4/18/2006 6:49:27 AM   
    Mavis


    Posts: 828
    Joined: 2/8/2004
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: CanadianGuy

    EDIT: That Dr Phil quote has me thinking about myself, now.  Even though I'm already in the separation process, I find myself hoping my girl never runs across that quote!  Yikes.  5% sucess rate?  Ouch.  :(  I've told my girl that she's my one true love, and I honestly believe what I'm saying.  I believe that it's going to work out, in time... but that 5% figure has me a little on edge.  Ugh!


    CanadianGuy?  Aren't You the one that posted for help on how to discipline an online submissive..  because she was falling asleep and being less attentive after three years together?

    Um..  hate to tell you, but that's why she's falling asleep.. she's prolly wised up and started talking to Other potential partners.    Even if separation is in progress,  she must have tallied up the hours you're able to take from Selma to pay Sue..  and figured she doesn't want to be the one getting robbed when she's your only partner?

    Good luck to B/both though. i hope the relationships get clarified.

    P.S., sorry if this is considered hijacking the thread

    (in reply to CanadianGuy)
    Profile   Post #: 38
    RE: my Master ignored me - 4/18/2006 3:41:31 PM   
    maybemaybenot


    Posts: 2817
    Joined: 9/22/2005
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: sub001

    Thank you so much all of you ...I have been reading the responses and its opening my eyes wider than every before..sometimes what is needed is 'positive reinforcement'...Im not totally stupid (i say totally..because i believe to a degree this is my fault too) ...but now im so much better informed by people who have 'lived' this lifestyle and who want to pass on positive experiences to others..I can only thank you for that..I am a good person and kind and loving person who gives so much of myself to someone I feel i love or have deep feelings for and im proud that who i am...I have known I have been submissive for many many years in fact its fair to say since i was very young...and this person brought that to the surface..if he gets recognition for nothing else .I will give him that...my journey has just begun..I will embrace the words of wisdom and experience you have spoken of...and sircumsslut...ill be in touch ...


    Good for you, sub001 ! Sometimes the only thing holding us back from realizing our own potential is ourselves. Glad you are putting yourself first.

                mbmbn

    _____________________________

    Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

    When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

    (in reply to sub001)
    Profile   Post #: 39
    RE: my Master ignored me - 4/18/2006 4:36:50 PM   
    windchymes


    Posts: 9410
    Joined: 4/18/2005
    Status: offline     		I'm almost as jaded as Arpig....

    In the real world, married men very rarely leave their wives.  He has a wife and probably kids and a lovely home, and he's not going to risk losing all that for an online fantasy.  He is not in love with you, he is having some extra-marital recreation with someone across the ocean....because he is safe that way.  You are helping to make HIS life full and complete, but you are left....just exactly as you have described you are.

    Your saying, "Now you have a reason to leave" obviously struck a nerve with him, you jolted him into seeing a little bit of reality...and you scared the crap out of him.  His "punishing" you while he sorted it all out in his mind was just his ploy to make you take the blame and keep himself blameless.  He's back playing the game again and you're miserable.   

    I am so glad to hear that your eyes are opening.  This happens ALL THE TIME on the internet.  Please, please, please begin to realize that you deserve much better than this.  I know you want kids and a lovely home some day, too....trust me that he will never give it to you. 

    Hugs and wishing you the best!

    _____________________________

    You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

    Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

    (in reply to maybemaybenot)
    Profile   Post #: 40
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