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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:19:33 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Sometimes it simply means he wants to get some, sometimes it means more. I do not read into physical acts, I am more interested in what a person says and the context. When you start thinking that physical acts mean something, you can get into trouble.....but bj's ar still nice!


I think that this has been my experience as to invitations to have sex for a weekend... but men view these things differently than we do, katy, so I really want to see what it means to THEM.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:20:31 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline 		No, that's my experience.  The ones that just want to fuck don't spend the night.  They get out as fast as possible.  lol

I'll have to go look at that book, The Rules?  I've not heard of it.  I should think it would be different for people of our ilk, but idk.  Tu sabes?  I just found their website.  They got a whole slew of books. 

They also have a phone number you can call them on.  Is that for real?  I looked, yes it is, for $300.


< Message edited by DarlingSavage -- 7/23/2010 8:22:28 PM >

_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:21:27 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		for me this idea that dating d/s vs any other way just isn't true for me.

It's exactly the same.

We meet, we talk, we get to know each other.
We go out again, talk some more, get to know each other some more.

Rinse, repeat until we realize we both like each other a lot and want to know each other better and we dig deeper, spend more time together, talk in a more intimate manner in trying to get to the deeper levels of each other until we both come to the same conclusion over time that we want to spend time together exclusively.

When I was young I would jump into relationships with disasterous results.
As I matured I finally woke up and slowed down and took my time to see who I was really wanting to be with.

I think taking my time with Master has worked. :)




(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:23:39 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline 		Our communication would be much smoother if you could tell when I'm simply making a joke.

quote:

so lets say a guy invites a woman to spend the weekend with him at his home, this is an indication he really is digging her?


A weekend at his home could be a very serious opening up. Not at all the same as a weekend getaway. This could be "farting in your presence," BIG. (Don't be lust-stupid about it. I'd offer to be your daily safe-call, but you might take that wrong)

_____________________________

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:24:14 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania


quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Sometimes it simply means he wants to get some, sometimes it means more. I do not read into physical acts, I am more interested in what a person says and the context. When you start thinking that physical acts mean something, you can get into trouble.....but bj's ar still nice!


I think that this has been my experience as to invitations to have sex for a weekend... but men view these things differently than we do, katy, so I really want to see what it means to THEM.


It's been my experience in ANY relationship that actions speak louder than words.

And, yes, I agree that when they invite you to spend a weekend with you at their home, it's a big deal.


< Message edited by DarlingSavage -- 7/23/2010 8:25:20 PM >

_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:24:58 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

I think taking my time with Master has worked. :)


And this is the important thing, it worked for you

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:25:16 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		What if he mistake farts on the weekend getaway?

_____________________________

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- Albert Einstein

(in reply to TheHeretic)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:26:47 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

What if he mistake farts on the weekend getaway?


Or even worse, we do

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:27:16 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

It's been my experience in ANY relationship that actions speak louder than words.


I am not saying they do not. What I am saying is that you can't take an action and give it a weight that is larger then he has intended. This is where things get screwed up. In the values that people put on the acts.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to DarlingSavage)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:28:54 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Or even worse, we do


I am lucky (?), major colon surgery can give you a pass to fart. LOL

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:29:02 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

It's been my experience in ANY relationship that actions speak louder than words.


I am not saying they do not. What I am saying is that you can't take an action and give it a weight that is larger then he has intended. This is where things get screwed up. In the values that people put on the acts.


I think that is when actions match the words that it demonstrates the best of what the intentions are

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:30:15 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

for me this idea that dating d/s vs any other way just isn't true for me.

It's exactly the same.

We meet, we talk, we get to know each other.
We go out again, talk some more, get to know each other some more.

Rinse, repeat until we realize we both like each other a lot and want to know each other better and we dig deeper, spend more time together, talk in a more intimate manner in trying to get to the deeper levels of each other until we both come to the same conclusion over time that we want to spend time together exclusively.

When I was young I would jump into relationships with disastrous results.
As I matured I finally woke up and slowed down and took my time to see who I was really wanting to be with.

I think taking my time with Master has worked. :)






I think that this is the way it's supposed to go and I think that when I was much younger, I would have pushed aside the signs of this last guy's bigotry.  Now that I'm older, there are some things that are very important to me.  I don't want to be with a bigot.  When I was younger, I might have deluded myself that he really didn't mean it or listened to him as he would and did say that he wasn't a racist, but he couldn't stand to see a black man with a white woman, but how he was over it now.  And he continued to make plenty of racist based statements on a myriad of other topics.


_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:30:15 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied


quote:

Or even worse, we do


I am lucky (?), major colon surgery can give you a pass to fart. LOL


I am unwilling to go that far to get a fart pass, I will have to settle for the anal sex giving me the excuse

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:31:30 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

What if he mistake farts on the weekend getaway?



That was no mistake. In the car, on the way home from a great time. That's when you a guy can let a ripper go, and see how well this relationship is going to pan out.

_____________________________

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:31:32 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

I think that is when actions match the words that it demonstrates the best of what the intentions are


Yep. I walked away from a guy because what he said did not match what he did. It was frustrating and I had enough of it.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:32:06 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:


I am not saying they do not. What I am saying is that you can't take an action and give it a weight that is larger then he has intended.


I DO understand that!  But I think that a man asking you to his home for the weekend, I think that's a big deal.  I could be wrong, that might not and probably isn't true for EVERY male, but I think it is true for a good percentage. 

(I wonder if that data is available for mapping?)


_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:35:32 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

It's been my experience in ANY relationship that actions speak louder than words.


I am not saying they do not. What I am saying is that you can't take an action and give it a weight that is larger then he has intended. This is where things get screwed up. In the values that people put on the acts.



Short of constantly asking him, which would drive most men nuts, I'm not sure you always know the value they attach to any given action. I really think you kind of have to openly express how YOU feel and take a leap of faith that he means what he says. If, along the way you discover that his actions and words don't meet up, well then you deal with it, but I'm not sure alot of angst over what he may be thinking is going to do much more than make you miserable.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:35:53 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

quote:


I am not saying they do not. What I am saying is that you can't take an action and give it a weight that is larger then he has intended.


I DO understand that!  But I think that a man asking you to his home for the weekend, I think that's a big deal.  I could be wrong, that might not and probably isn't true for EVERY male, but I think it is true for a good percentage. 

(I wonder if that data is available for mapping?)



I suppose this is the time for the conversation mentioned earlier on the thread... perhaps, just maybe it might be a bigger deal to him than to you. It is not always the man who isn't sure where the relationship should go.... sometimes it is we women....

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to DarlingSavage)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:37:49 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:


I suppose this is the time for the conversation mentioned earlier on the thread... perhaps, just maybe it might be a bigger deal to him than to you. It is not always the man who isn't sure where the relationship should go.... sometimes it is we women....


I'd say that it's usually me. Well, maybe not necessarily, I know when it ISN'T going to pan out with someone because I've discovered I'm not interested.  Other than that, I tend to worry about things a lot.

Now I have something I have to take care of, but I'll be looking back in when I'm done to see any other input.  Thanks!


< Message edited by DarlingSavage -- 7/23/2010 8:39:25 PM >

_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 8:43:51 PM   
thornhappy


Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		What about varts?  Are those relationship-enders, or merely a source of humor?
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania


quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied


quote:

Or even worse, we do


I am lucky (?), major colon surgery can give you a pass to fart. LOL


I am unwilling to go that far to get a fart pass, I will have to settle for the anal sex giving me the excuse

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 80
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