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Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 4:43:45 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I was curious about something, and I thought I would ask you all what you think about it...It is about investment into a new relationship with someone that you are excited about. At the very beginning when you first begin to realize that you are going to take the plunge and involve yourself with someone new, how do you show you want to make that investment? I am wondering how male and female answers will differ....

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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 5:23:33 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I tend to make myself more available to them and give them everything I have and more.

I will do whatever I can for them and pay attention to them more than usual, paying attention to small details and just showing my interest in them.

I start opening up more about myself to them and I will ask more questions about that person so that I can show them that I do want to get more involved in their life.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 5:25:17 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Tell them just that.

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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 5:36:48 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		yep.  I just tell them.  With the x we were having dinner one night and I said.. "thump"  He asked why I said that and I told him if you were a fisherman and I was a fish, my head just hit the boat, you can reel me in anytime.  He thought that was cute and we were a couple at that moment.

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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 5:48:03 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		awww that's cute!

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 5:48:16 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

yep.  I just tell them.  With the x we were having dinner one night and I said.. "thump"  He asked why I said that and I told him if you were a fisherman and I was a fish, my head just hit the boat, you can reel me in anytime.  He thought that was cute and we were a couple at that moment.


That is a cute story...

What I am talking about is the actions though, moreso then words. How do you act, do you call more often, go out of your way to spend time...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 5:58:07 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		When we first met I was seeing other people beside him and he knew it.  After about 3 months of juggling dates and discovering I was holding out for a night out with him I just stopped seeing the rest.  Shortly after he must have caught on because he was taking me out a lot more, one night became two, two became five and then he had the talk with me about wanting it to be exclusive.  I let him know I already made that choice and hadn't seen anyone but him in weeks.

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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 5:59:06 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Well if they were a dom I wanted to serve, I'd start taking orders, following them doing what he tells me to and over all acting and being submissive to them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I was curious about something, and I thought I would ask you all what you think about it...It is about investment into a new relationship with someone that you are excited about. At the very beginning when you first begin to realize that you are going to take the plunge and involve yourself with someone new, how do you show you want to make that investment? I am wondering how male and female answers will differ....

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 6:00:43 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline 		I spend the night, instead of making some lame excuse about why I need to leave.

If it gets really mushy and stuff, I'll even give her a one-month anniversary card of the first time I made her sleep in the wet spot.

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If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 6:05:35 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

At the very beginning when you first begin to realize that you are going to take the plunge and involve yourself with someone new, how do you show you want to make that investment?



I give the guy a blow job.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 6:08:34 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		Last time, I up and moved. Took a $500 a week pay cut. And if you saw the whole picture, you would agree I was right in doing so, assuming the relationship was going to last.

That a large enough investment?

I'm not being bitter. I'm fairly certain the company I walked away from doesn't exist today. I could be jobless today; who knows?

And, that's not to say I wouldn't do something similar again. Move, that is. I'm pretty certain I would make as much or more elsewhere. Whatever happens I won't be dumb this next time, either.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 6:13:54 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I make myself unavailable to others, make myself more emotionally available to him, and do my best to make him happy.

Boring but, that's it.

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~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 6:13:54 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I moved too, but I made lemonade out of lemons.... I am better off today than when I met him, and although he was a catalyst the credit for that is all mine

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to mstrjx)
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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 6:14:56 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

At the very beginning when you first begin to realize that you are going to take the plunge and involve yourself with someone new, how do you show you want to make that investment?



I give the guy a blow job.


haha! I'm going to guess that works pretty well....

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to marie2)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 6:16:48 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3


quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

At the very beginning when you first begin to realize that you are going to take the plunge and involve yourself with someone new, how do you show you want to make that investment?



I give the guy a blow job.


haha! I'm going to guess that works pretty well....


It tends to send a very clear message. :)

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 6:17:34 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I make myself unavailable to others, make myself more emotionally available to him, and do my best to make him happy.

Boring but, that's it.


I remember that book called "The Rules" and I wonder if it applies to D/s people

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 6:18:24 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I tend to make myself more available to them and give them everything I have and more.

I will do whatever I can for them and pay attention to them more than usual, paying attention to small details and just showing my interest in them.

I start opening up more about myself to them and I will ask more questions about that person so that I can show them that I do want to get more involved in their life.


This doesn't work for me.  I don't know what to do.  When I find someone I like so much I think I'm going to explode, and I offer myself to them and then they don't want me.  I guess I'm too easy, cause I usually tend to know right away or pretty quickly, anyway.  It always hurts when they end up not wanting me.  It hurts a lot.

Though, recently, I did start to get excited about someone.  I was talking to them a lot the last couple days on the phone.  Then I discovered he was a bigot.  Another one bites the dust.  These types of encounters don't hurt me so much as just leave me feeling disappointed.  So many idiots.  ~heavy sigh~




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<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 6:18:41 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2


quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3


quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

At the very beginning when you first begin to realize that you are going to take the plunge and involve yourself with someone new, how do you show you want to make that investment?



I give the guy a blow job.


haha! I'm going to guess that works pretty well....


It tends to send a very clear message. :)


And one that they can definitely "understand"

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to marie2)
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RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 6:24:32 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

do you call more often, go out of your way to spend time...


I've done that so much and now, I'm scared to death and don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore.  Sometimes. 

I think that now, I've got a better handle on things.  I think I've learned to relax, I hope, but then again, I haven't met another one that tripped my trigger so hard that I felt breathless and speechless and tongue tied and everything else and I sure do wish I would!  Cause I want that man that makes me feel like THAT!

And Missokyst, I thought your story was really cute, too.




_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Investment in Relationships - 7/23/2010 6:32:45 PM   
slvemike4u


Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline 		That is incredibly condescending Julia.....not that I would object to such condescension,but still...dammit "they" are reading this shit too you know

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If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 20
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