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how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 8:40:24 AM

mezrabs

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hi mistress
please i want to know can a dominant woman recognizea male sub and how can she , and please if any one of you did that before ?
please share your experiance
it is my first thread

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 10:15:40 AM

thishereboi

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Easy, when you meet someone and are talking to them and getting to know them, you ask.

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 11:25:34 AM

Voodali

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While I'm sure that several subs have flown under my radar, the ones I have recognized in public usually made a comment regarding an item of clothing I was (purposely) wearing in combination with normal street clothes.
"Nice boots" or a compliment for my leather or PVC jacket have often led to conversations where they confessed.
It isn't wise to assume that the cute, self-effacing, nerdy looking boy in the corner is sub, as much as I might want him to be. Often, its the opposite. Similarly, my totally vanilla girlfriends who lean more towards submissiveness than anything, come across as bossy in public, thus confusing the subs. And obviously, not everyone in fetish wear wants anything to do with actual fetish.
I imagine every city is crawling with male subs who refuse to come forward.
I wish straight people would just use a hanky code of some kind, and be a lot more specific than just a black bandana on the left or right.
Do we have an elaborate flagging system that I don't know of ? If so, someone please inform me.

< Message edited by Voodali -- 7/28/2010 11:26:31 AM >

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 11:31:24 AM

hlen5

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To the OP - Welcome to the boards!!

I had something a little puzzling that happened to me, a sub. Last week I met a man who was twirling his long hair in my presence and literally said he would kiss my feet (joking of course, haha)!! How did that happen? I don't think I give off any Domme vibes at all. I was feeling good and confident. It totally took me by surprise.

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 12:19:14 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Voodali
Do we have an elaborate flagging system that I don't know of ? If so, someone please inform me.

CynthiaWVirginia and I have been discussing that very idea, Voodali, on the 'Would you have the nerve' thread - a purple wristband to be worn on the left wrist. This was the designated identifier for use by subs on International Femdom Day and we think it should be used at all other times, as well.

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 7/28/2010 12:22:32 PM >

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 12:27:39 PM

LadyPact

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Is there something out there that says we straight people don't use the hanky code? Believe Me when I say I'm a black hanky-sporting, keys outside of front pocket-showing, stiletto purse-toting, handcuffs on the rear view mirror-dangling member of the club. LOL. Watch how people accessorize. It will tell a lot.

That goes for spotting male subs, too.

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 12:31:35 PM

PeonForHer

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That might work for Dommes, who are female and therefore don't leave the house without thousands of bits and pieces attached to themselves, but what about sub-males? I guess I could walk around only in the sackcloth-and-string 'skirt' I wear at BDSM venues, but that'd get a bit nippy in winter.

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 12:40:41 PM

Steponme73

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LOL...Lady Pact do you carry your whip with you when you go to the grocery store? I want to see the handcuffs from the mirror!

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 12:42:03 PM

LadyPact

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I'll give you the bit on the purse, and the cuffs, since I know you don't drive.

Still, cute little costume aside, I'm betting that most of the times that you walk out of your front door, you are wearing pants that have a back pocket and front pocket. If you lock your place when you go out, you already have keys. All you'd really be adding is a handkerchief.

Of course, there is always the potential confusion on which orientation you might be flagging for. Then again, I might find a way to have a little fun with that.

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 12:51:46 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

LOL...Lady Pact do you carry your whip with you when you go to the grocery store? I want to see the handcuffs from the mirror!

Whip? No. However, the purse is damn near as noteworthy as I am and almost has a fan club of it's own. The gal that I bought it from (along with all of the corsets that I'm pictured in) is on this site.

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 1:10:01 PM

mezrabs

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i respect all your answers but someone tell me that she can know subs by looking in their eyes and that a sub cant look directly in the eyes of a dominant woman and i really try and believe me it is true so what you think

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 1:13:37 PM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mezrabs

i respect all your answers but someone tell me that she can know subs by looking in their eyes and that a sub cant look directly in the eyes of a dominant woman and i really try and believe me it is true so what you think

Sure....she can know subs by looking in their eyes and that a sub cant look directly in the eyes of a dominant woman

There you go, I told you what you wanted to hear. It doesn't make it true, but there is nothing I can do about that.

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 1:20:54 PM

LadyPact

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This makes it sound like you can prove that a submissive is someone able to be 'stared down'.

While many submissives will "cue" a Dominant during a conversation by lowering their eyes (and perhaps their head), there is an issue with this. It's not universal and you can easily misinterpret the same gesture in the every day world. It can simply mean that someone is shy about eye contact and not have a thing to do with kink.

If you're meeting someone and you're in a leather/high protocol environment, it is very often the custom of a slave (owned or unowned) to lower their eyes when being introduced to a Master/Mistress for the first time.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 1:21:01 PM

BonesFromAsh

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

Easy, when you meet someone and are talking to them and getting to know them, you ask.

You know, this common sense thing might just catch on some day.

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 1:23:14 PM

laurell3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I guess I could walk around only in the sackcloth-and-string 'skirt' I wear at BDSM venues, but that'd get a bit nippy in winter.

Yeah forget common sense, I vote for THIS approach!

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 1:42:55 PM

DarkSteven

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It's trivial. Look at the sub's genitals and you can see whether the sub is male or not.

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 2:32:42 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

It's trivial. Look at the sub's genitals and you can see whether the sub is male or not.

OK, that's fine in places where people are still running around with spears and bows with their goolies hanging out, Steven - but how does it help those of us who live outside North America?

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 2:41:28 PM

SorceressJ

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1) pet and pony folk: lift up their tails and look.
2) crossdressers: lift up the skirt and look.
(these two answers are severely tongue-in-cheek. don't throw things)
3) TS/TG: watch the pronoun usage, ask politely, and respect the answer you get. Looking under the skirt may not help in this case.
4) I like LP's and boi's answers for everyone else.

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 3:04:59 PM

Lockit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mezrabs

i respect all your answers but someone tell me that she can know subs by looking in their eyes and that a sub cant look directly in the eyes of a dominant woman and i really try and believe me it is true so what you think

Anyone who cannot look me in the eye is someone I would not trust. It would indicate far more important things to me than submission.

We are not all-seeing and all-knowing. We are women who are dominant and we may see things about someone and we may not. To think we have special powers is faulty and anyone who suggests we have special powers and a submissive man could not look us in the eye is as stuck in fantasy as much as those who think we are dominant fancy-wear-a-wearin-chicks with whips. (Even if we can be sometimes.)

However when talking to someone it can become clear that they are submissive or dominant... that isn't a special power that sucks out the power of anyone else.

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RE: how can you recognize a male sub?! - 7/28/2010 3:05:44 PM

ElanSubdued

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hlen5,

quote:

I had something a little puzzling that happened to me, a sub. Last week I met a man who was twirling his long hair in my presence and literally said he would kiss my feet (joking of course, haha)!! How did that happen? I don't think I give off any Domme vibes at all. I was feeling good and confident. It totally took me by surprise.

*laughs*

It may not have been kinky at all. Occasionally, I've unintentionally allowed vanilla and kink to collide. A moment like this actually happened recently, but I caught myself. I'd called a business looking for someone and the clerk who answered said "he's tied up at the moment". My automatic thought was to say "well, untie him then or at least remove his gag". Fortunately, I caught myself and said "here's my number; please have him call me". :-)

E.

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