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ORIGINAL: subgarfield
Good point... i simply answered in context of comment received. Respect begets respect it's a two way venue... i believe that strongly! Maybemaybenot  edited his post with a much less facetious reply and i responded in kind.
subgarfield

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ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

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I don't think any of us know the answer to this. It's annoying for most people. I wish I had something more to offer, but I just don't.
Maybe just concentrate on being the best sub you can be and let wankers be wankers and posers be posers.

In a few short sentences you have pretty much summed it up and foolish me looking for something deeper. In the end yes, wankers will be wankers and posers will be posers... human nature i guess. Rest of us subs can follow your good advice and strive to be the best the best we can be.
Thanks.


_____________________________

If you are not pushing the envelope... you are not pushing hard enough!

(in reply to Proprietrix)

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ORIGINAL: starymists

quote:

ORIGINAL: subgarfield
Good point... i simply answered in context of comment received. Respect begets respect it's a two way venue... i believe that strongly! Maybemaybenot  edited his post with a much less facetious reply and i responded in kind.
subgarfield

Isn't this all too often the point? That whether you are a Dominant or a submissive, people sometimes have the tendency to answer in the context they percieve based on what they are reading into what is written?
 
I think often, the internet is a poor vehicle to really getting to know people, largely because a lot of times, we read into the words intents, inflections and meanings that are not readily apparent. Face to face, we have a lot more data to go on in interpreting what is being said *like body language*. On line, you have to take the words at face value. All too often, as a submissive, I receive emails demanding things. I receive emails in which it is readily apparent that my profile has not been read. I receive emails from Dominants who assume because he/she is a Dom and I am a sub, that I will automatically do what I am told to do. And like it or not, if I'm not careful, I can fall into making assumptions about what another means based on my experience. And that is also true with respect to Dominants who have gotten a handful of disrespectful emails in response to his/hers. It becomes all too easy to start reading things into the words that were never intended.
 
With respect to pictures, most of the time, if you aren't willing to send a pic within the first 30 minutes of chat, or within the first couple of emails, you suddenly become a 'wanna be submissive who doesn't know her place' or you are a 'submissive who needs to be taught a lesson in protocol' *and yes, those are quotes from some past emails/chats*. And some of us are a little more cautious about disclosing things that can be used to identify who we are. For myself, I have to testify in court on a fairly regular basis. It just would not due for an over eager defense attorney to discover that I live an alternative lifestyle...it can be used to paint me as less than credible. And as I tend to enjoy being employed, and love the work I do, I'm not overly interested in taking those kinds of risks. Some understand that, and some don't.
 
One thing I know for certain, as in so many places, the internet is a vehicle to put people in touch with others that normally wouldn't have been met. But it is also a place where people engage in living fantasies. Some people are for real and some aren't. Trick is to stick around long enough to learn to tell the difference.

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ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

Only 2% 5% are viable and sincere? 
 
That has not been my experiance, I would say 89% are viable and sincere, but then things that dont mesh end up making it not work, like distance, chemistry, and d/s compatability. I have found most boys that write to me are sincere, just not always a good fit.

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ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

If a girl contacting me is disrespectful then chances are she isn't who I am looking for. It doesn't particularly bother me for more than the smallest of moments, maybe she is having a bad day and simply looking for someone on whom to vent her spleen, I simply don't play. Delete, block, move on.

Unless she is your or wishes to become so then sub or Dom makes no diffrence, the dynamic isn't in play and it is simply another person on the other end of the keyboard. They maybe submissives but they don't wear your collar and owe you nothing. Nicer when folks act with at least basic civility but alas, these days that is oft the exception rather than the rule. Just the way of things an needs to be understood else your skin is too thin for the internet.

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ORIGINAL: Dustyn

I echo the sentiments on here.  Respect isn't something that should just be handed out all willy-nilly.If you have to command respect, 99 out of 100 times, you don't deserve it.  Respect is something that evolves, not something that spontaneously shows up out of the blue.

And, frankly, almost every single time I see someone talking about wanker this and poser that, I instantly start wondering if the person bitching doesn't have a slight touch of meglomania, in as much as they consider themselves to be an ultimate authority on things.  Soap boxes are fun things to stand on, but you should always check to make sure the audience doesn't have rocks in their pockets or tomatoes in their coats.

Don't dictate as if you are the be all and end all.  Simply state that you, personally, find this act or that act offensive, state why you feel that way and leave it at that.  I, personally, took fair amount of offense at the tone of your post, even though I know it was written out of frustration and not a true desire to infuriate the masses.  Just because you do things a certain way, in terms of bd/sm, doesn't mean i's the only way.  Give latitude and it will be given. Judge and ye shall be judged.

Just my take on the whole thing.

- Dustyn

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ORIGINAL: StrictWhip

I just thought I would weigh in here and say that I have received over 200 inquiries, comments, requests for information, etc., since placing my profile on collarme.   I have yet to receive one message that I could call disrespectful.  You might want to tell your Domme friend to hang in there and give it another try.  I also want to say, that over the years I have met many people from on line.  Again, I have never been disappointed, I have never regretted a single meeting.  If YOU are real, most of the people you will encounter will be relieved and feel comfortable being real as well.  Just something you might want to suggest.

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ORIGINAL: subgarfield

Find it amazing how many so called submissives top from the bottom, show disrespect and are anything but submissive. In recently reading various Mistress quickie texts on collarme and and to much lesser degree over the years on Maxfisch and other sites it seems there are a great many wankers and wannabe players. If one truly is not submissive or respectful why waste the time and resources of someone who is sincere.

A new Mistress had Her profile on collarme and deleted it after four days due to primarily a few idiotic posts, requests having nothing to do with what She was seeking and disrespect... only two of fourteen were of sincere nature. Vast majority She referred to as wankers and players. One post She followed up on She asked for a photo(face not required). To me such is a testing of the subs integrity and sincerity in addition of course to see if there is physical karma and the curiosity factor. Perhaps i am bias as for myself also i prefer a photo of Mistress before making that final commitment and have no qualms in what's good for the goose is good for the gander!

The ranting, insinuations, insults and self justifications She described was amazing. Makes me glad i'm submissive as i have never experienced such nonsense nor disrespect from a Mistress.

I have always found Dommes to be respectful, not perfect but most often of excellentd character attributes and sincerity. Why can more so called subs not promote such values? Is it common especially for a Mistress posting for the first time to experience less than 5% sincere response rate with sincerity, integrity and reality of potential play or is the rate of return the same as junk mail... 2 - 5%.

subgarfield
If you are not pushing the envelope... you are not pushing hard enough!

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for ever considering myself the ultimate authority on things... hardly!