RE: submissives ~ not submissive

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RE: submissives ~ not submissive - 4/19/2006 11:54:02 AM

subgarfield

Posts: 32
Joined: 6/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Submotive

So what's your point? waaaaaah

Perhaps shorter is simpler for you; here goes!

Curious why some so called called subs top from the bottom and display behaviour not of submissive nature or are disrespectful. Such curiosity was prompted in reading comments by Dommes and recent conversation with one Mistress in particular. Some of the comments She received in declining requests or in requesting a photo seemed overboard to me. Simply looking for feedback and input... perhaps doing some venting as well.

If that is the best input you can offer and my curiosity riles you... try some warm milk and cookies... oh and have a nice day.

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RE: submissives ~ not submissive - 4/19/2006 2:21:27 PM

subgarfield

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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrictWhip

When I send "rejection letters" to potential hopefuls, I treat it much as I would in turning down an applicant for a job. My letters go something like this. "Thank you for taking an interest in my profile. Unfortunately, I do not think we are a compatible match because of ___________ (whatever the reason is). Again, thank you for your interest and I wish you the very best on your search. Ms. StrictWhip.

One or two have chosen to appeal my decision and because I enjoy conversation, the debate may stretch another letter or two. But again, because I treat them with respect, nobody feels the inevitable "sting" of rejection that tends to bring out the worst in some people. Some people would think that taking the time to respond to over 200 e-mails in that manner is too much of an inconvenience. I never see it that way. These are real human beings we are dealing with, and whether I choose to include them in my inner circle or not, I NEVER take that lightly.

Classy... i like Your style! Respectful, logical and without sense of rejection. Your response gave me further perspective other than my sense most such subs were simply wankers or posers... some may have a sense of rejection that brings out the nasties. We are all human beings with human traits.

< Message edited by subgarfield -- 4/19/2006 2:22:49 PM >

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RE: submissives ~ not submissive - 4/19/2006 4:30:51 PM

sharainks

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Joined: 12/13/2004
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My first thought was how much of a turn off it can be to write someone and have them want a body only shot? Its like to heck with your face.

If she got disrespect maybe something in her interactions with them prompted that. I've found very few people who purposely strive to be disrespectful to anyone who writes to get acquainted. However, if you get the notion that all they want is any warm body to play with not much respect is gained or given.

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RE: submissives ~ not submissive - 4/19/2006 5:40:23 PM

Dustyn

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Is it possible that, at least online, consideration and respect are being confused slightly?

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RE: submissives ~ not submissive - 4/19/2006 8:33:20 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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To the OP..sometimes when a communication is in the context of the written word and not viewed face to face to hear and see certain inflections, much can be misconstrued...And if this particular Domme is french and english not her primary language then it is more possible that miscommunication could of been a factor..To your complaint that many submissives top from the bottom..yes..that happens,not the many however but the action., of course..Then it comes down to wether the Dom/me allows such behavior or not.and as with anything concerning manners...you treat with respect until given a reason not too...then in my case, I usually walk away..and if on line..I may or may not respond back sarcastically, usually depends on how much importance I give it..be well..Tempting

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RE: submissives ~ not submissive - 4/20/2006 4:06:30 AM

subgarfield

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

To the OP..sometimes when a communication is in the context of the written word and not viewed face to face to hear and see certain inflections, much can be misconstrued...And if this particular Domme is french and english not her primary language then it is more possible that miscommunication could of been a factor..To your complaint that many submissives top from the bottom..yes..that happens,not the many however but the action., of course..Then it comes down to wether the Dom/me allows such behavior or not.and as with anything concerning manners...you treat with respect until given a reason not too...then in my case, I usually walk away..and if on line..I may or may not respond back sarcastically, usually depends on how much importance I give it..be well..Tempting

Appreciate your insight and find myself in agreement the written/grammar pertaining to the french/english aspect may have had some impact upon the communication process and first impressions, especially on-line. Doubt if it would serve as a primary catalyst but likely for some it may serve as a contributing factor.

With my original post it was my assumption the wanker, poser, time waster factor was at play in these scenarios. In receiving some insightful replies my horizons have been expanded. Thank you.

Agree wholeheartily with your comment "treat with respect until given a reason not to"... a motto we all could do well by!

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RE: submissives ~ not submissive - 4/20/2006 4:25:46 AM

subgarfield

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sharainks

My first thought was how much of a turn off it can be to write someone and have them want a body only shot? Its like to heck with your face.

If she got disrespect maybe something in her interactions with them prompted that. I've found very few people who purposely strive to be disrespectful to anyone who writes to get acquainted. However, if you get the notion that all they want is any warm body to play with not much respect is gained or given.

Just a clarification... there was not a open request for a photo in Her original posting, request came about as communication progressed, also in followup communication with subs of potential interest the request was not for a for a 'body only' shot. That option was suggested when a particular respondent balked at the suggestion of providing a photo. If i gave impression of otherwise, my oversight and i stand corrected.

In Her receiving disrespect and in reading a number of similar scenarios in past therein lies my curiosity and reason for posting. Gradually i'm gaining a wider perspective. Agree with your assesment and also am of the belief very few people strive to be disrespectful.

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RE: submissives ~ not submissive - 4/20/2006 4:31:27 AM

subgarfield

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn

Is it possible that, at least online, consideration and respect are being confused slightly?

A perspective i had not previously given thought to however seems logical as i know Her original anticipations were with high expectations.

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