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RE: the single most important trait - 8/1/2010 1:44:54 PM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		I need a man who loves le bon mot et le mot juste. Date gorgeous but dumb once, and crikey, never again. The smarter and nicer a man is, the better he is in bed.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: the single most important trait - 8/1/2010 1:52:18 PM   
Zevar


Posts: 801
Status: offline 		Obviously there are character traits that I look for in a lady, traits such as honesty, integrity, trustworthiness, sensuality, humor, intelligence, authenticity, etc…

However if a lady lacks the ability to demonstrate compassion i.e. forgiveness toward herself first then others, including myself, our hearts will never dance our dance of dominance and submission in one accord.

A non-negotiable trait for myself, regardless!

(in reply to laineyjade)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: the single most important trait - 8/2/2010 3:39:37 AM   
phoenixmoonn13


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline 		well op if i had done what you did i wouldn't be cuming for months. master doesn't mind a joke but that is way to far, as his slave i would never dream of doing anything like that to him anyway but thats just me. when looking i was looking for someone calm someone who could feel by that i mean peoples energy the unspoken and the energy people have is important to me. also someone who had mastered themselves, who would be strong and who i could trust completely. and also preferable pagan and ideally wiccan. but most importantly someone whom i could be who i trully am with and serve and love them

(in reply to Zevar)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: the single most important trait - 8/2/2010 4:30:19 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		I just like folks who I think are cool regardless of gender or orientation. The only thing I specifically seek out in someone who I think is cool is whether or not I can feel their power. If I can, then that's someone with whom I can develop the dynamic that I need to thrive and if I can't, at most, we'll just be friends (with no benefits. ::grins::) Cool first, everything else will flow and follow.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to laineyjade)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: the single most important trait - 8/2/2010 4:42:36 AM   
delicatelydirty


Posts: 126
Joined: 2/7/2010
Status: offline 		They have to be genuinely Dominant in all aspects of their life and not necessarily a sadist but at least have a firm hand, for me to be with them as play buddies or something more.
Similar match academically is important but beyond that it is really a case of mutual attraction

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: the single most important trait - 8/2/2010 1:34:03 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laineyjade

And doms, were you forced to look for some special trait in your girl due to how you are?



I have a few traits I look for...naturally....

But of all them.....a warm and big heart is the thing for me.....

Now I'm a funny fucker.....seriously...fuckin' hilarious......but I could sit with a woman all night and whether or not she raises a laugh would pale into insignifance along side a warm and big heart.......

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to laineyjade)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: the single most important trait - 8/3/2010 2:52:58 AM   
KurtAllen


Posts: 40
Joined: 7/9/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Now I'm a funny fucker.....seriously...fuckin' hilarious......but I could sit with a woman all night and whether or not she raises a laugh would pale into insignifance along side a warm and big heart.......

NorthernGent: It is always the little things that reveal the inner most person, I so agree with your thinking.

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: the single most important trait - 8/14/2010 6:05:56 AM   
SinJunky


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/29/2008
Status: offline 		laineyjade... your story made me laugh :D

For me I thinks its more about things I don't look for... stupidity is a big turn off, and if someone demonstrates it then I lose any respect I had for them.

Add to that narrow mindedness and dishonesty.

Other than that, I think you know pretty quickly if you click with someone, but if you rule someone out immediately because you're looking for one particular thing you'll lose out on so much.

I love serendipity.

(in reply to laineyjade)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: the single most important trait - 8/14/2010 8:59:04 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laineyjade
I meant to ask about possibly quirky or unusual traits that you personally need in a dominant (or submissive) because you, yourself, have some unusual facet to your personality or living situation.
Well, aside from what I'd consider normal "human values" like "honesty", I need my submissive to be emotionally available to me and submissive by personality.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to laineyjade)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: the single most important trait - 8/14/2010 9:17:29 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laineyjade

I meant to ask about possibly quirky or unusual traits that you personally need in a dominant (or submissive) because you, yourself, have some unusual facet to your personality or living situation.


He finds my quirks, dorky moments, airhead moments, etc., adorable.  These are the things I used to be yelled at and squashed for, and this man just shakes his head, laughs and kisses me. 

For example, I always take a wrong turn in the car (OK "always" is an exaggeration, but it happens a LOT).  Once, I was navigating while he was driving, in my own neck of the woods, and telling him how if we veer through this particular neighborhood it would be a shortcut by bypassing the busier, trafficky streets.

Except I navigated wrong and we ended up in a cul-de-sac in some other neighborhood (this is kind of typical for me).

Ghosts of the past came to haunt me and I started being all apologetic for messing things up, and feeling bad about it.  He pulled my hand up to kiss the back of it and said "Sweetheart, this car does make U-turns" and just smiled at me.

He's dreamy I tell ya - dreamy!

Without realizing it, I needed a man who would love ALL of me, even the frustrating parts.


Edited to add:  He bought me a GPS navitation system for my car the next Christmas LOL.


< Message edited by NuevaVida -- 8/14/2010 9:19:04 AM >

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to laineyjade)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: the single most important trait - 8/14/2010 9:54:04 AM   
texangael


Posts: 167
Joined: 12/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

And doms, were you forced to look for some special trait in your girl due to how you are?
No.
How I am is how I am.  A woman will resonate with that, or she will not.


_____________________________

"Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no Try."
Corny movie cliche that just happens to be true.

(in reply to laineyjade)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: the single most important trait - 8/14/2010 2:03:38 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

It's a tough road enough road when trying to find someone really exceptional in the 'nilla world. When you throw bdsm into the mix it becomes that much more difficult.

You need to gel. You need to have desire to be in each other's presence as if the dynamic were not present. Meaning you have to enjoy that person for everything that they are and be able to accept them for what they are not.

It is not enough for the majority to rely on bdsm to be the cornerstone of the relationship. Unfortunately gazing at the profiles of so many men and women out here on CM you might start to believe the total opposite.

If a woman doesn't have a sense of humor and be able to laugh...she would kill me. Physically as well as spiritually.

Deep man, real deep.



So.... Domi is my dream date? Who knew!!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: the single most important trait - 8/14/2010 4:29:12 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Whew... are there gonna be some scars after THAT date!

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: the single most important trait - 8/14/2010 5:32:04 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		No one single trait comes to mind for me. 

Make me laugh, make me think, make me cum, and make my life more enjoyable than it is alone pretty much sums it up.

Do that for me and I'll purt near do anything ya ask!



_____________________________

yep

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: the single most important trait - 8/14/2010 5:32:57 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		She has to dig my cake!

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: the single most important trait - 8/14/2010 6:04:28 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

She has to dig my cake!
I think I have figured out from the other thread that your cake is creme filled.

But, is it a Twinkie or a Ding-Dong?

eta... or a Ho Ho?  cause I thought about that while partaking on the porch and it cracked me up!

< Message edited by JstAnotherSub -- 8/14/2010 6:46:28 PM >

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: the single most important trait - 8/14/2010 7:07:54 PM   
SBJames1


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

He better laugh at my jokes.  And I will return him the same courtesy.  Then he should make me cum 10,000 times on the first date when he kisses me goodnight.  Then, I will bashfully bat my eyelashes at him and I will melt in his arms and he will SWOOP me up in his big strong arms and carry me off to Paris where we will dance in a fountain and drink champagne, the REAL stuff!  Then we'll go to the Moulin Rouge, and I will be the star of the show!  They'll give me all the NICEST, PRETTIEST costumes.  Then, I'll get on stage and perform death defying acts which thrill the audience with my cunning and talent!  They will be swept away by my AMAZING POWERS of observation!  And they'll really like my song and dance routine, too!  Then they will give me a standing ovation and throw MILLIONS of dollars at my feet, after which, my new found love and I will whisk each other away to a little castle built for just us two, away up in the mountains of Switzerland.  Then I will know that I have found my ONE and TRUE love!  And he will give me lots of spankings and lots of really HOT KINKY SEX!  We won't come up for air for a whole CENTURY!


You forgot that part where I buy up the entire shopful of flowers for you and serenade you spontaneously in front of the Gypsy Jazz band at the Hot Club where we are voted the most handsome and debonnaire couple in Paris.

Then we go somewhere fun.


(in reply to DarlingSavage)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: the single most important trait - 8/14/2010 7:16:02 PM   
SBJames1


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/6/2008
Status: offline 		laineyjade, I would love for someone to be such a sweet rascal as this to me (ie. the chick pea story). I would laugh heartily with her, congratulate her on her wicked sense of humor, thank her for making me laugh so hard, give her a hug and a kiss for being so sweet, and consider myself a lucky man for having someone like this in my life...

And then I'd get my flogger out.

:)

(in reply to laineyjade)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: the single most important trait - 8/14/2010 7:40:52 PM   
SBJames1


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/6/2008
Status: offline 		We would have to get along in the Vanilla sense. My experience has been that if we can't get along and have fun being Vanilla together, we probably shouldn't go any further.

Similar interests, but not exactly the same interests; like we'd both be into exercise, but not the same kinds. Also, a wide range of interests, in seemingly disparate pursuits. For example, there is someone in my life right now who can take me to the ballet and engage me in meaningful dialog about it, and she can also come to the gym with me and critique me competently on my weightlifting.

Similarly, she must have a wide range of personality traits. She must be as elegant and eloquent as she is down to earth and gritty.

Of course, we will have to be able to handle each other's challenges, faults, foibles, etc.

I think all couples need similar senses of humor.

She will have to be very much better than I am at at least one thing, hopefully several. That of course shouldn't be too difficult. I need to be with someone that challenges me, that I admire greatly and that makes my world bigger.

She must be educated.

She must bring out the best in me... whether I like it or not.

(in reply to laineyjade)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: the single most important trait - 8/14/2010 8:40:45 PM   
switchingcrone


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/29/2010
Status: offline 		I am a bit odd that I link real life situations with movie lines. I like my partner to understand and find the humour in my qoutes.(and really bad impressions I throw in some times too)

(in reply to SBJames1)
Profile   Post #: 60
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