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RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 12:05:51 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		What happened to the "master" you referenced a few posts back?

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RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 12:06:39 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Ok....if that works for you, go for it, but the "I hope my Master doesn't read this" post implies you might have a problem here. Think about what you're doing. Kink is never more important than respect.

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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 12:07:14 PM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		hahaha... good luck on you girly... i think it is always nice to be in a position to train your very own 'Dom for the timebeing' in 'the kink'

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 12:10:26 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline 		I was collared a while ago, but circumstances have dictated that I can't see him at all. In fact, the only communication we have is the occasional e-mail. It'll be a full year or two before I get to see him again.

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I wash my hands of this weirdness.

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 12:41:45 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		In your profile it says that you are happy and no one should try and steal you.

You are very tiny so stealing you wouldn't be very hard. Can you fit in a Shop-Vac?

I have found that even though someone might crave a realtionship that at some point they often find something substantially lacking within their vanilla partners.

This is why 'nilla boy suggested that he might attend the Sally Struther's School for Doms to try and meet your needs. Yuck!

Anywhoooo, I have found, in my walk through this world, that women are much more likely to read up on and research bdsm before engaging, where men just tend to "do it."

Now if a sub was really interested in needle play, I might do some research on the subject or buy a pin cushion before engaging in such an activity.

But in reality, I would try and avoid any major arteries, her eyeballs or her heart when gouging her with the needles. I think she would probably be okay and in time would probably learn to live with that new "twitch" in her left eye.

I think you are kind of fucked in the choices you are making.



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RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 12:51:42 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline 		BJ, most of the time when you talk, I don't know entirely what you're getting at.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 12:52:34 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

I was collared a while ago, but circumstances have dictated that I can't see him at all. In fact, the only communication we have is the occasional e-mail. It'll be a full year or two before I get to see him again.


I gotta ask........military or prison?


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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 12:55:06 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

I was collared a while ago, but circumstances have dictated that I can't see him at all. In fact, the only communication we have is the occasional e-mail. It'll be a full year or two before I get to see him again.


I gotta ask........military or prison?



I live at home. Someone is looking at homelessness if they pursue a relationship with their master :(


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I wash my hands of this weirdness.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 12:59:29 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Ah ha!

Thank you......it was the time frame got me wondering.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 1:01:16 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Ah ha!

Thank you......it was the time frame got me wondering.



Well he's already been in the military and I don't know if I would keep pining after him if he was in prison.


_____________________________

I wash my hands of this weirdness.

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 1:04:22 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

BJ, most of the time when you talk, I don't know entirely what you're getting at.


He's getting at the fact that you don't have to "teach" them anything. Other than risky edge play type of activities where they should research and preferably learn from another Dom knowlegable in the area, what would YOU teach a Dom other than what your likes and limits are? It's not that difficult. Don't make it rocket science. Tell him what type of dynamic you are interested in, what you need to be safe and secure and let him do his thing. Why would you do otherwise? And why are you calling this guy that you are afraid will disapprove of your posts, but really isn't your Master since you're thinking about other guys...Master? I'd really rethink where you're going here.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 8/2/2010 1:05:05 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 1:08:50 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		So your only choices are to wait for a year or two or date an old boyfriend.

Do you have aplastic anaemia or some sort of another Chronic immune deficiency disorder that does not permit you to venture outside?

I am not sure, but if you are 5' tall and weigh 96 pounds I would think that there has to be someone out there that might enjoy that kind of a thing.

Time to broaden your search beyond the two guys you know.

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RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 1:10:52 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

BJ, most of the time when you talk, I don't know entirely what you're getting at.


He's getting at the fact that you don't have to "teach" them anything. Other than risky edge play type of activities where they should research and preferably learn from another Dom knowlegable in the area, what would YOU teach a Dom other than what your likes and limits are? It's not that difficult. Don't make it rocket science. Tell him what type of dynamic you are interested in, what you need to be safe and secure and let him do his thing. Why would you do otherwise? And why are you calling this guy that you are afraid will disapprove of your posts, but really isn't your Master since you're thinking about other guys...Master? I'd really rethink where you're going here.


Someone who speaks words I understand!

I call him master because that's like his name. Just weird to refer to him otherwise. And I still think he's my master, even though I can't see him. I dunno, do people normally remain abstinent for years when they're waiting to get back together with a specific person?


_____________________________

I wash my hands of this weirdness.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 1:20:08 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		MOST people do not wait years to 'get back together' with someone. We kinda move on to other pastures.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 1:21:47 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Some "people" probably do, some "people" probably don't. Why would we care what anonymous "people" do anyway? Those that do probably don't entertain thoughts about getting back together with old boyfriends at the same time.

I sure as hell wouldn't have considered that when I was 18. As I understand it, your parent's disapproval centers around the bdsm, so I'm not sure how getting a new Dom would help that issue.

Look I'm going to say the same thing I did about the parental issue. WHAT do YOU want? How are you going to go about getting that? What is your plan for your life? What is your plan for relationships? These are the questions you need to answer. No one here can do that for you. I'm sorry. You're not unintelligent, use your head and really be honest about what you want and need.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 8/2/2010 1:23:04 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 1:32:16 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Some "people" probably do, some "people" probably don't. Why would we care what anonymous "people" do anyway? Those that do probably don't entertain thoughts about getting back together with old boyfriends at the same time.

I sure as hell wouldn't have considered that when I was 18. As I understand it, your parent's disapproval centers around the bdsm, so I'm not sure how getting a new Dom would help that issue.

Look I'm going to say the same thing I did about the parental issue. WHAT do YOU want? How are you going to go about getting that? What is your plan for your life? What is your plan for relationships? These are the questions you need to answer. No one here can do that for you. I'm sorry. You're not unintelligent, use your head and really be honest about what you want and need.


You know I love you laurel, but that is so not the point. The point of the thread is how to introduce someone into being a domly-dom.

After being muchly criticized about being a drama whore, I didn't want to bring up the issues between wanting to get back together with the dom I want and settling with an ex. Or about my parents.


_____________________________

I wash my hands of this weirdness.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 1:34:20 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow
You know I love you laurel, but that is so not the point. The point of the thread is how to introduce someone into being a domly-dom.
You get them around someone you personally identify as a "domly dom" and you see if any of it sticks. Without knowing more about the exact places he wasn't domly enough (in your eyes) it'd be hard to get any more specific.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 1:40:13 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Some "people" probably do, some "people" probably don't. Why would we care what anonymous "people" do anyway? Those that do probably don't entertain thoughts about getting back together with old boyfriends at the same time.

I sure as hell wouldn't have considered that when I was 18. As I understand it, your parent's disapproval centers around the bdsm, so I'm not sure how getting a new Dom would help that issue.

Look I'm going to say the same thing I did about the parental issue. WHAT do YOU want? How are you going to go about getting that? What is your plan for your life? What is your plan for relationships? These are the questions you need to answer. No one here can do that for you. I'm sorry. You're not unintelligent, use your head and really be honest about what you want and need.


You know I love you laurel, but that is so not the point. The point of the thread is how to introduce someone into being a domly-dom.

After being muchly criticized about being a drama whore, I didn't want to bring up the issues between wanting to get back together with the dom I want and settling with an ex. Or about my parents.




I'm not sure who called you a drama whore, but I would disregard those comments. You're 18. You're still finding your way in life. Flipping back and forth and being unsure is what most of us did at 18 as well. Anyone that criticises you for still being in that learning curve is being self-righteous and has forgotten what it was like to be very young.

I told you, send him here. There are TONS of threads on various sites, books, meeting places and let him ask his own questions of the posters.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 1:43:47 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow
You know I love you laurel, but that is so not the point. The point of the thread is how to introduce someone into being a domly-dom.
You get them around someone you personally identify as a "domly dom" and you see if any of it sticks. Without knowing more about the exact places he wasn't domly enough (in your eyes) it'd be hard to get any more specific.


One of the places in which he is not very domly is that he can't imagine himself in an unequally balanced relationship (in terms of power). So we might have a long way to go

But last night he called and expressed some actual interest, so I figured I should help introduce him.


_____________________________

I wash my hands of this weirdness.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? - 8/2/2010 1:45:52 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3


quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Some "people" probably do, some "people" probably don't. Why would we care what anonymous "people" do anyway? Those that do probably don't entertain thoughts about getting back together with old boyfriends at the same time.

I sure as hell wouldn't have considered that when I was 18. As I understand it, your parent's disapproval centers around the bdsm, so I'm not sure how getting a new Dom would help that issue.

Look I'm going to say the same thing I did about the parental issue. WHAT do YOU want? How are you going to go about getting that? What is your plan for your life? What is your plan for relationships? These are the questions you need to answer. No one here can do that for you. I'm sorry. You're not unintelligent, use your head and really be honest about what you want and need.


You know I love you laurel, but that is so not the point. The point of the thread is how to introduce someone into being a domly-dom.

After being muchly criticized about being a drama whore, I didn't want to bring up the issues between wanting to get back together with the dom I want and settling with an ex. Or about my parents.




I'm not sure who called you a drama whore, but I would disregard those comments. You're 18. You're still finding your way in life. Flipping back and forth and being unsure is what most of us did at 18 as well. Anyone that criticises you for still being in that learning curve is being self-righteous and has forgotten what it was like to be very young.

I told you, send him here. There are TONS of threads on various sites, books, meeting places and let him ask his own questions of the posters.


Oh, don't worry. Plenty of people said it, although in different words ;)

I'll send him this way and see what comes of it.


_____________________________

I wash my hands of this weirdness.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 40
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