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RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/3/2010 2:52:26 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

What grinds my gears about these male chastity threads, and the profiles, and the journal entries, is how the person that is all into it waves his fetish/desire around like THIS IS THE WAY TO CONTROL ME, and if you don't do it, what kind of a dom are you?


I think there's a BIG difference between sharing ones interests and demanding that the individual in control adhere to YOUR preferences. I shouldn't have to point out the fact that this is truly backwards. But I digress, it appears a few don't get it.

quote:

Maddening. I do what I do, on my timetable. I can rewind to a really hot locking-down moment... but that moment was not a relationship definer. It was hot and exciting, but loyalty and obedience get MY engine running in the long term, not someone's "willingness" to wear some plastic toy. You say "yes" to me ONCE. After that, it's my choice what happens.


Now that's a novel concept.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/3/2010 2:53:50 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Agreed Lady Hib! With a nick like mine, I get a lot of chastity seekers. My nick doesn't even mean that! Their interest is not in being submissive to ME... but to be locked up by ANYONE. lol Kind of puts me in a real cold place. lol

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/3/2010 3:01:01 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		LOTS of them just don't get it, Porcelaine!

When I was a pro dominant, I could have made serious cash being a "keyholder". Imagine, locking up strangers, and sending them away! {headshake} Boggling.

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/3/2010 3:52:48 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

LOTS of them just don't get it, Porcelaine!

When I was a pro dominant, I could have made serious cash being a "keyholder". Imagine, locking up strangers, and sending them away! {headshake} Boggling.


I met my share of clueless sorts on the other side of the whip. Hence the exodus.

I think I'd take that over the webcam hanging that was suggested elsewhere. The legal risks are much lower.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/3/2010 8:09:15 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		I guess some subs are like that, but chastity is not a must have for me.  My Mistress loves it though.  I don't mind  submitting to it until five a.m.  That is when I get a raging, painful hard on.  Very tough.

_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/4/2010 3:09:05 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

 Doesn't anyone else feel that if the adoration/whatever isn't freely given from the heart unbound, that forcing it through chastity or orgasm denial weakens it somehow?




Not really, because I know some guys who actually love the orgasm denial, for them it is showing the dominant that they are motivated not just by their dicks and that they are willing to forgo their pleasures.

Like for almost everything in BDSM there isn't just one answer, for some guys OD is a way of playing the "white knight of old", the one who worships the fair lady and suffers for her without expecting sexual favors from her. It is quite a romantic and touching way of thinking about it. Of course being a bit of a sadist, I always have great fun making their chastity device as uncomfy as possible by prancing around and stimulating their desire ;)


_____________________________

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Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/4/2010 3:10:29 AM   
KurtAllen


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Joined: 7/9/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I met my share of clueless sorts on the other side of the whip. Hence the exodus.


Have not most of us encountered sophisticated expertise on this many crossroads path we all travel?
Is it only the clueless that have so impressed you, you find it necessary to tell us about it?
One cannot hold accountable their financial advisor when their emotional bank account is overdrawn.

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/4/2010 3:50:05 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		I swear I thought this was a thread about Aunt Flo.  *No kidding*


Now, having read the OP, I'm reminded of the movie Bull Durham.  Crash sends all his sexual energy into baseball (for better or worse).  Certainly this is not an odd viewpoint.  I think there should be research.

That would be the scientific thing.  *nod nod  nod*... Research is the answer.  Who will be the vic - candidates?

Sunshine, Mad Scientist

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/4/2010 8:23:32 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtAllen

quote:

I met my share of clueless sorts on the other side of the whip. Hence the exodus.


Have not most of us encountered sophisticated expertise on this many crossroads path we all travel?
Is it only the clueless that have so impressed you, you find it necessary to tell us about it?
One cannot hold accountable their financial advisor when their emotional bank account is overdrawn.


I didn't realize it was necessary to consult you prior to posting my opinions. Not that I would anyway.

And since I have been on both sides of the whip I think I can speak candidly about my personal encounters. Enough said.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/4/2010 2:12:04 PM   
AttendToYou


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

After reading the op again and a lil more caffeine to try and deal with a migraine... I thought I would add to what I've said.

I think in part, the op is talking about a way he finds to deal with being in chastity. A refocusing on things. He didn't mention behavior or any of the things some of us jump to when we see a post like this. So I think I added to the post in my own mind and maybe from things said in the past or elsewhere.

He did say he does more of the things he would do anyway.



Thank you Lockit.  I do get disappointed when folks jump to conclusions or add meaning I didn't intend. 

We talk about "training subs."  To train, by definition, would mean to develop something that is not already there or woudln't, somehow, develop on its own.  But yet we know a submissive can't be made to want something he/she doesn't already want on some level.  So how can this be?

I see it as akin to exercise or eating right.  It is good and healthy to eat right, but so easy to jump off the wagon and eat junk food.  I see orgasm denial the same way.  It is a good discipline that has all sorts of impact, but it is easy to go for the bag of cheetoes (ie jerk off) than stick with the program, but there are sad consequences for giving in to the quick fix and blowing the long-term relationship.  On some level, I want to be submissive and do what my woman says.  On another level, I also want to take matters into my own hands.  Both are true. 

Now how does a man deal with that pent up energy that he would otherwise use for other purposes?  In my opinion, sexual energy must be expressed, it is just a question of how (back to the physics example).  To not express that pent up sexual energy would either lead to the man giving up on the d/s relationship entirely (which is probably what happens on this site the most when people flake out) or somehow imploding.  The answer, in my opinion, is simply redirecting that sexual energy elsewhere.  A submissive man learns--more and more by degree--to orient his life and his sexual senergy toward his woman.  It is something he supposedly wants to do, and this helps.  After a while it becomes more and more about her orgasm than his.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/4/2010 4:38:31 PM   
ReginaMirus


Posts: 240
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		Yes, but isn't is a sad state of affairs when you have to use the little head as a means to get to the BIG head?

Sorry. That has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with you. And it's not a game I'm interested in playing, because oft more times than not it's usually a losing battle.

Rock on for those that love it. It's just not my bag, baby.

(in reply to AttendToYou)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/4/2010 5:37:22 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ReginaMirus

Yes, but isn't is a sad state of affairs when you have to use the little head as a means to get to the BIG head?


I think it's sad, but unavoidable, RM: unless a woman can trigger a man's little head, she can forget about his big head ever having any interest. 

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/4/2010 6:19:00 PM   
ReginaMirus


Posts: 240
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: ReginaMirus

Yes, but isn't is a sad state of affairs when you have to use the little head as a means to get to the BIG head?


I think it's sad, but unavoidable, RM: unless a woman can trigger a man's little head, she can forget about his big head ever having any interest. 


Completely entitled to your opinion, but I'm calling bullshit on that one. Sorry. I don't buy it.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/4/2010 7:06:24 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with Peon.  Except I don't see it as sad.  It's just how males are.  The great Mistresses know this and exploit it to their (and their mens') benefit.  Women who ignore or are oblivious to what turns a man on don't keep that man for long.  This is why there are so many strippers and escorts and pro dommes out there...thousands of them.  We love to be with a woman who knows how to push all our buttons.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/4/2010 7:22:33 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

I agree with Peon.  Except I don't see it as sad.  It's just how males are.  The great Mistresses know this and exploit it to their (and their mens') benefit.  Women who ignore or are oblivious to what turns a man on don't keep that man for long.  This is why there are so many strippers and escorts and pro dommes out there...thousands of them.  We love to be with a woman who knows how to push all our buttons.


Are you suggesting that those who choose to use other methods are less adept than the individuals mentioned? And most of your examples charge a fee. I'd expect they'd do whatever it took to garner a profit, including catering to the whims of their clientele. It makes business sense.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/4/2010 7:29:12 PM   
ReginaMirus


Posts: 240
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		Wow. That sounds amazingly like we're here for YOUR entertainment, not the other way around.

(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/4/2010 7:33:59 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Well I'll be damned! Almost fifty three years old and I am just now learning men are guided by their cock!

Sorry... but that simply isn't true. Men have been attracted to me (sure they want it), but the one's that actually get somewhere show me respect in other area's before they even get close to putting a smile on that cock. I don't need to tease the cock to get a man or keep him, although when I decide to keep him... I tease the cock. Just ask any man who was with me for any amount of time... my motto is tease to please and I am a hard act to follow.

A man led by his cock doesn't interest me. Boring.... Half the population has one... He has to prove he is worth sitting around with him and talking to him. Not just any cock will do. And if I have to please the cock to get him... fuck that. I've got a vibrator that doesn't talk back and a good chick flick.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 8/4/2010 7:38:06 PM >

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/4/2010 7:41:49 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
. . . but the one's that actually get somewhere show me respect in other area's before they even get close to putting a smile on that cock.


My cock is always smiling, Lockit, and in a very gentlemanly fashion too, I may add. 

_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/4/2010 8:24:20 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Well I'll be damned! Almost fifty three years old and I am just now learning men are guided by their cock!

Sorry... but that simply isn't true. Men have been attracted to me (sure they want it), but the one's that actually get somewhere show me respect in other area's before they even get close to putting a smile on that cock. I don't need to tease the cock to get a man or keep him, although when I decide to keep him... I tease the cock. Just ask any man who was with me for any amount of time... my motto is tease to please and I am a hard act to follow.

A man led by his cock doesn't interest me. Boring.... Half the population has one... He has to prove he is worth sitting around with him and talking to him. Not just any cock will do. And if I have to please the cock to get him... fuck that. I've got a vibrator that doesn't talk back and a good chick flick.


I'm sure you know my sentiments on this subject.

What I don't understand are the postulations by those that insist they wish to submit themselves to someone else's will when they're attempting to dictate how things will play out in the process. Suffice to say if she wants to tease you she will and if she doesn't it isn't happening. The omission doesn't suggest she doesn't know what to do but merely chose not to engage. Simple.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Redirecting the Flow - 8/4/2010 8:30:45 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		I think there is a bit of denial and missing the point going on here. Whether there is a profit/business angle or not, women who know how to push a man's hot buttons easily control men.
I said nothing at all about women being here for our entertainment. Actually though, you ARE here for our entertainment. And we are here for yours. If the cycle breaks down anywhere, the whole system does. Every relationship, love, freindship, business, whatever, relies on a give and take, a quid pro quo, mutual benefit. When it is done right, everyone is happy and giving becomes receiving. In our thing, the femdom life, a male gets enjoyment from pleasing. A dominant woman enjoys being served and communicates that. Makes a man all the more eager to please, so he does so, and so on and so on and so on.




_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 40
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