Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you?

Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (Full Version)

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Jaybeee -> Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 3:05:59 AM)
Hi all, I will gear this question primarily for the females as I would imagine most men would want their mistresses taking some form of enjoyment from process of doling out a punishment, but the reverse could seem to border on abusive, and I was wondering where the line was (or ought to be) drawn, and how fine it is. Apologies if this question has been asked umpteen times already!!

CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 3:38:46 AM)
Jaybeee, I know you asked this in the sub section, but you are asking if dominants enjoy giving spanks. So...from the horse's mouth...yessssssssssssss. This is what gave me my epiphany, and all my (unknown to me) pervy friends, the clue that I was a fellow perv. It's one of my favorite things to do, though floggers still beat OTK hands down. I love the noise, pinkness, heat...what's not to like? Honestly, does any dominant or top out there really consider this some chore to endure? quote: ...but the reverse could seem to border on abusive, and I was wondering where the line was (or ought to be) drawn, and how fine it is. Yes, I could do this as real punishment and not just for funishment, but I have never needed to. Usually talking it over works for me. I would consider myself being abusive if I spanked someone while angry. (I also think it might be an incredible turnon but I won't go there.) I know, I am such a freak. [:D] If I had agreed to stopping when someone gave their safe word, and they gave it...and I kept on going...I would be crossing a line. Talk things over beforehand, see where someone's head is at. If they are the kind who breaks their word easily...you might rethink scening with them, much less getting involved.

DarkSteven -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 3:56:04 AM)
Generally, I love to spank. But if it's for punishment, I make sure that neither of us enjoy it.

pains -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 4:23:04 AM)
Like most things it depends on the context. My Master enjoys spanking me as he is sadistic and therefore enjoys my discomfort but then generally im enjoying it too, i dont see any reason why it would not be ok for a Master/Mistress to enjoy giving out a spanking as being in a M/s dynamic it is the Master/Mistresses right (within agreed boundries) to dish out what pleases them. Not sure if that makes any sense. tori

WestBaySlave -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 4:43:40 AM)
He sure seems to enjoy spanking me, though so far I've yet to be punished, it's just a fun time for him and me. I have no desire to be punished, either, though that in no way derails the spanking train from either side of our relationship.

lally2 -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 4:45:58 AM)
thats a really curious question to ask a load of pervy people [:D] i cant speak for Dominants, but if my D isnt enjoying himself then im not going to enjoy myself - i dont want him to have to do something to me he dislikes or doesnt want to do. as for punishment - again i cant answer for Dominants but it seems the general response is that if punishment is required then its stemming from a failure on the subs part to behave appropriately within the rules and parameters set up by the Dominant and the sub has agreed to. the dominant is likely going to be feeling some negative feelings, so the act of punishment isnt necessarily hitting the kink buton because the head space isnt focused that way. confusion occurs when you enter into a punishment dynamic where one member of the dynamic is into punishment and the other not so much. in the case of a Dom who enjoys the whole punishment ethos its likely the Dom will seek all and any opportunity to punish. its arguable then that the Dominant is enjoying himself at the expense of the sub who really isnt. it works if both enjoy punishment play and then we call it Funishment. however, i have been punished severely and im pretty sure my then Master enjoyed the process. i didnt feel icked out at all, it wasnt like he had a massive hardon afterwards and slammed into me afterwards while i was trying to get my head back. but knowing his sadistic side id be surprised if there wasnt some level of enjoyment going on, if only in terms of his pride in me afterwards for getting through it. when punishment is rare and is used only as a last resort then its an action that is used judiciously and only as a last resort when communication isnt getting through. in those circumstances id say the process generally brings no pleasure to anyone, which actually makes the whole process even more miserable for the sub. (see first para)

Jaybeee -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 4:56:02 AM)
I have to say, the replies, although they duly resolved my initial query, have been so intriguing that they've inspired more questions than they answered!!! :) I'll go by individual: Cynthia - I like the 'Funishment' phrase!! But I wonder, would you want to inflict "Asymmetric" punishment? I'm borrowing a phrase from current events (and let's PLEASE not talk about them!!), if he wanted one of several types of punishment, would you deliberately cook up another to shock him with, one that he would likely NOT get off on? It's like the phrase, "Cruel and unusual", an ordeal is often painful precisely BECAUSE it is so unusual, the punished party has never developed a coping mechanism (like the first three weeks of your working life before you see any cash!). Would you deliberately try to elicit whatever safeword you have in place? Steven - I LARGELY feel the same way, given that society conditions us to NEVER hit a woman (although I vaguely remember a female teacher saying once that a drunken woman needs to be slapped if she causes a scene). I haven't owned a slave yet but if I did...I do believe I could get off on punishment at some point in my development as a Master, but until that point, I would have a hard time (no pun intended!) doing it. It's a thing of intrigue to me, one of those, "You never know how you'll react unless you're plunged into the situation" kind of things. Pains - May I ask what boundaries you have agreed? It's perfectly ok if it's none of my/our business.

pains -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 5:03:08 AM)
Hi..no problem The only boundries we have are our hard limits other than those i submit to what he requires of me so there are no boundries in regards to when he spanks me. I put the part about boundries in as perhaps there are some whom have them in this particular area..ie only being spanked for mutual pleasure. tori Pains - May I ask what boundaries you have agreed? It's perfectly ok if it's none of my/our business. [/quote]

Jaybeee -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 5:13:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pains Hi..no problem The only boundries we have are our hard limits other than those i submit to what he requires of me so there are no boundries in regards to when he spanks me. I put the part about boundries in as perhaps there are some whom have them in this particular area..ie only being spanked for mutual pleasure. tori Pains - May I ask what boundaries you have agreed? It's perfectly ok if it's none of my/our business. Thanks for that, but for an example of boundaries, I presume a slap across the face would be ok, but a fist would not? I'm just trying to get an idea of the difference between punishment and outright cruelty, as well as an idea whether outright cruelty is ever acceptable. Sorry if these questions seem amateurish or uncomfortable, everyone.

pains -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 5:36:20 AM)
A difficult area really as personally i like being punched in a controlled situation, for me i separate it from abuse as it is consenual i dont live in fear of him losing his temper and lashing out for example. The problem is what is cruel to some will not be to others and i think the biggest difference is the element of consent, at times i like and want him to be cruel to me however can it truely be considered cruel if on some level i enjoy it? Outright cruelty to me is when a person does not on any level enjoy the way they are being treated and is in constant fear of what their partner may do. tori quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee quote: ORIGINAL: pains Hi..no problem The only boundries we have are our hard limits other than those i submit to what he requires of me so there are no boundries in regards to when he spanks me. I put the part about boundries in as perhaps there are some whom have them in this particular area..ie only being spanked for mutual pleasure. tori Pains - May I ask what boundaries you have agreed? It's perfectly ok if it's none of my/our business. Thanks for that, but for an example of boundaries, I presume a slap across the face would be ok, but a fist would not? I'm just trying to get an idea of the difference between punishment and outright cruelty, as well as an idea whether outright cruelty is ever acceptable. Sorry if these questions seem amateurish or uncomfortable, everyone.

WestBaySlave -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 5:52:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee Thanks for that, but for an example of boundaries, I presume a slap across the face would be ok, but a fist would not? I'm just trying to get an idea of the difference between punishment and outright cruelty, as well as an idea whether outright cruelty is ever acceptable. This really, really depends on the people involved. If someone is expecting a gentle, pain-free D/s relationship then any deliberately inflicted pain is cruel and likely abusive. With a heavy masochist, severe regular beatings can feel downright cuddly. Everyone's different; everyone's boundaries are different.

DesFIP -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 6:07:47 AM)
Here it isn't punishment and it isn't abusive. It's fun and sexual. So yes, he enjoys having me squirm across his lap, melt into him when his fingers wander, and then have me jump when he gives me a stingy one next. It's sensation play. If you feel it's abusive, then you aren't compatible with someone who enjoys it. That's the bottom line, compatibility.

Jaybeee -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 6:09:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WestBaySlave quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee Thanks for that, but for an example of boundaries, I presume a slap across the face would be ok, but a fist would not? I'm just trying to get an idea of the difference between punishment and outright cruelty, as well as an idea whether outright cruelty is ever acceptable. This really, really depends on the people involved. If someone is expecting a gentle, pain-free D/s relationship then any deliberately inflicted pain is cruel and likely abusive. With a heavy masochist, severe regular beatings can feel downright cuddly. Everyone's different; everyone's boundaries are different. Cuddly!! [:)] I would hope a Subbie of mine would gently guide her Master in terms of what the difference between punishment and abuse is, and I would hope she would be patient with me when I overstep, and also when I fails to administer punishment sufficiently or even at all. It would be a very, very considerate Subbie indeed who gently took my hand after I slapped her, held it to hover over her other cheek and said, "It's good form to do both sides, but you are the boss, my Master!

DarkSteven -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 6:50:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee Thanks for that, but for an example of boundaries, I presume a slap across the face would be ok, but a fist would not? I'm just trying to get an idea of the difference between punishment and outright cruelty, as well as an idea whether outright cruelty is ever acceptable. Sorry if these questions seem amateurish or uncomfortable, everyone. My take is that consensuality make a huge difference. If she has agreed to take whatever punishment I consider necessary, and I do it when not under the grip of anger, then it's hard for me to go wrong. It's not actions as much as the situation in which they occur. That said, a fist to the face will leave a bruise and is a sign to me of someone who is out of control.

atractivenuisane -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 8:31:25 AM)
Him not having a hard-on while spanking me is like him not having a hard-on while fucking me: just doesn't work.

Jaybeee -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 8:58:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: atractivenuisane Him not having a hard-on while spanking me is like him not having a hard-on while fucking me: just doesn't work. A girl after my own heart. :)

littleone35 -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 9:49:08 AM)
Puniahment is not fun it is punishment usually cause it works is a spanking for me. Funishment spankings i like and Master just loves giving them to me. Sometimes i just need a spanking, case in point after my Mom passed away my emotions were all over the place and i need a spanking to settle and center me i asked Master and he was more than happy to help me out int that way. In my case is someone slapped me across the face to me that would ber abuse for others not at all they love it. Matt's littleone

leadership527 -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 9:51:18 AM)
Carol is not a masochist.... well.... OK.... After the last party at Merc's maybe she's a light masochist... maybe not so light in the right circumstances... It's SimplyMichael's fault. I am still not a sadist though so I draw no enjoyment from doing things which make Carol unhappy and my enjoyment from flogging her is indirect... based upon her enjoyment. "Abusive" is a word which really requires a lot of thinking before it's used. I personally wouldn't necessarily conclude that even severe and frequent lashings with a single tail would necessarily be "abusive".

angelikaJ -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 11:16:24 AM)
My Master enjoys spanking me for pleasure...both of ours. He has rarely spanked me for correction which is different from punishment and has even more rarely spanked me for punishment. There is no pleasure in that for him, edit to add: or for me.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 11:27:53 AM)
First of all not all subs or slaves out there have Master's. I have a Daddy. And I may not count because I am not very submissive, I'll submit to someone when I choose to and when I want to, not as an overall orientation identity. If we did have a punishment dynamic, Daddy would not enjoy spanking me, why would he punishments are not enjoyable, for either party. They're a sign that something broke down and needs correction, or that I was disobeying him and now needed dealt with. People in the position of Dominant shouldn't enjoy when they have to punish and correct wrong doings in their partner. Now, if you mean funishment, which is where you search for a make believe reason, to pretend to punish your partner, but it's fun for every one involved, such as oh you naughty naughty girl, you missed a spot on washing the dishes, come here, I will have to spank you and punish you, then the answer is still no. We don't care for funishment. quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee Hi all, I will gear this question primarily for the females as I would imagine most men would want their mistresses taking some form of enjoyment from process of doling out a punishment, but the reverse could seem to border on abusive, and I was wondering where the line was (or ought to be) drawn, and how fine it is. Apologies if this question has been asked umpteen times already!!

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