RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you?

RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (Full Version)

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jujubeeMB -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 1:18:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Generally, I love to spank. But if it's for punishment, I make sure that neither of us enjoy it. This may sound naive, but as someone who's been spanked less than half a dozen times, I probably am naive on this topic [:)] So: how do you make sure that you don't enjoy it? I can see how you might make your sub feel less than comfortable, but if you generally love it, what prevents you from feeling that rush?

leadership527 -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 1:47:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB So: how do you make sure that you don't enjoy it? I can see how you might make your sub feel less than comfortable, but if you generally love it, what prevents you from feeling that rush? Well, I'm not big into the punishment dynamic myself, but I can tell you that when Carol and I are not in-synch, then it is always highly troubling to both of us. I can't really imagine a situation wherein we could be out-of-sync enough that punishment seemed like a useful strategy where at the same time I was feeling anything positive whatsoever. Even if I enjoyed spanking the overall emotional landscape would put a very different spin on things.

Focus50 -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 3:45:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: atractivenuisane Him not having a hard-on while spanking me is like him not having a hard-on while fucking me: just doesn't work. I was about to exit this thread until I read this.... Frankly, I find it rather a bizarre notion. lol If most forms of play "required" me to have hard-on then the average play scenes would be fewer, shorter and further between. Granted, you need an erection for sex but for the majority of things I like to do to my girl as an act of domination/submission, it gets in the way and is even a distraction. The thing is, D/s interaction is highly desirable and enjoyable to me but does not necessarily equate to sexual arousal. And like I said, often I don't want the distraction as I'm usually more focused on what I'm doing to her to make her squirm etc. And yes, that often means I'm doing sexual things to her so she's inevitably sexually aroused, but mostly my dick isn't part of that action. The simple physiology is that men don't get to climax nearly as much as women so I don't like to waste it. On the other hand, women are ideal to tease and torture sexually for the same reason. I've never kept score but my own sexual release happens maybe one time in three that I'm playing with a fem/sub. Mostly I like to remain fully clothed with her fully naked for the general headspace of our roles, relationship and general scene dynamic. Focus.

kiwisub12 -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/9/2010 6:29:15 PM)
My dom didn't spank/cane me for punishment - he knew i enjoyed those forms of interaction too much. He made me stand nose against the wall, and forbade me move. Let me tell you - i didn't enjoy that at all. When he spanked/flogged/caned me , we both enjoyed it - very much. There was no element of punishment in it at all, just enjoyment for us. And i had been known to ask for a beating when i needed/wanted one- and he wasn't ever gentle. Typically, he would go just a wee bit past what i felt comfortable with - and enjoy that fact as well. I never felt what we did was abusive, even though there were times when observers were cringing. And i think that is the key - I never felt it was abusive.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/10/2010 1:06:53 PM)
I'm not DS for forgive me for ansering for him, but if it was my daddy having to punish me, there wouldn't be any way for him to enjoy it, since a punishment is negative, and he doesn't enjoy negative things. It hurts his heart to have t o get heavy handed with me. Things that are hurting your heart, just are not enjoyable. quote: ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB This may sound naive, but as someone who's been spanked less than half a dozen times, I probably am naive on this topic [:)] So: how do you make sure that you don't enjoy it? I can see how you might make your sub feel less than comfortable, but if you generally love it, what prevents you from feeling that rush?

juliaoceania -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/10/2010 2:09:54 PM)
I had a dominant email me today and he thought we were very compatible. I state quite clearly I am not into the "punishment" dynamic on my profile. Since he thought we would make a good match, I went ahead and I decided to read what he had to say. He says "infractions will be disciplined". I then tell him I am not into that. So we have this exchange going back and forth... he wants a sub he can punish for rule breaking by spanking her. It is his fetish. So basically, this dom was enjoying spankings in ways that would be ALL wrong for me. I told him" "spankings are rewards, not punishments, and since you enjoy a misbehaving sub we won't be compatible because I don't misbehave enough to make it fun for you and then you would be setting me up to fail"

Focus50 -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/10/2010 2:56:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I had a dominant email me today and he thought we were very compatible. I state quite clearly I am not into the "punishment" dynamic on my profile. Since he thought we would make a good match, I went ahead and I decided to read what he had to say. He says "infractions will be disciplined". I then tell him I am not into that. So we have this exchange going back and forth... he wants a sub he can punish for rule breaking by spanking her. It is his fetish. So basically, this dom was enjoying spankings in ways that would be ALL wrong for me. I told him" "spankings are rewards, not punishments, and since you enjoy a misbehaving sub we won't be compatible because I don't misbehave enough to make it fun for you and then you would be setting me up to fail" I always chuckle at this particular "dom" mindset because it strikes me that it's exactly what some ignorant vanilla would think a dom is/does. That is, he needs some preceding excuse, justification, or phony premise etc to indulge in that which he enjoys. The only premise I need is to own my sub and be in the mood for doing whatever. A right of passage that ownership brings.... And as you say, spankings (or any attention) are about reward for being a good girl who I wanna do stuff with and to etc. Focus.

juliaoceania -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/10/2010 3:24:57 PM)
It made me glad I am experienced so that I could see through him

porcelaine -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/10/2010 4:52:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee I will gear this question primarily for the females as I would imagine most men would want their mistresses taking some form of enjoyment from process of doling out a punishment, but the reverse could seem to border on abusive, and I was wondering where the line was (or ought to be) drawn, and how fine it is. I enjoy administering pain and my style is not abusive. As for punishment, I derive no enjoyment from behavioral correction. In my mind it references situations where discipline and other forms of conditioning have not been successful and the infraction still takes place. I see this as problematic rather than arousing. ~porcelaine

DarkSteven -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/10/2010 5:33:30 PM)
What TFTB said. quote: ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom I'm not DS for forgive me for ansering for him, but if it was my daddy having to punish me, there wouldn't be any way for him to enjoy it, since a punishment is negative, and he doesn't enjoy negative things. It hurts his heart to have t o get heavy handed with me. Things that are hurting your heart, just are not enjoyable. quote: ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB This may sound naive, but as someone who's been spanked less than half a dozen times, I probably am naive on this topic [:)] So: how do you make sure that you don't enjoy it? I can see how you might make your sub feel less than comfortable, but if you generally love it, what prevents you from feeling that rush?

DesFIP -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/10/2010 6:29:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee Thanks for that, but for an example of boundaries, I presume a slap across the face would be ok, but a fist would not? I'm just trying to get an idea of the difference between punishment and outright cruelty, as well as an idea whether outright cruelty is ever acceptable. Sorry if these questions seem amateurish or uncomfortable, everyone. Some people like being punched. But lots of people have negative reactions to face slapping so don't assume that's an okay thing to do. And for some of us, it's way too dangerous. I have implants in both eyes, a slap gone wrong might not cause me a black eye but permanent blindness. Like everything else, you must talk about it in order to know what's safe and what isn't.

Aynne88 -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/10/2010 7:27:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Generally, I love to spank. But if it's for punishment, I make sure that neither of us enjoy it. This may sound naive, but as someone who's been spanked less than half a dozen times, I probably am naive on this topic [:)] So: how do you make sure that you don't enjoy it? I can see how you might make your sub feel less than comfortable, but if you generally love it, what prevents you from feeling that rush? juju, I love to cook. I mean love it. Farmer's market whore[;)]. The whole experience of preparing food really thrills me, and I have always been a "foodie". However.....on Saturday I am catering a goddamn golf tournament for my man and he is on the board at the golf club. I have to prepare lunch and then a lobster bake for 100 golfers that will be most likely half drunk and fully hungry by the time they round the 9th hole for lunch let alone the 18th for lobsters. It has now become a chore for me, a necessity, and that in itself takes the joy out of something I love to do. Use that anology and build on it if you will. Something you love to do can become unpleasant if it is done from necessity and from drudgery or even from having to do it to punish someone. I have been spanked by the same man for both sexua pleasure and for punishment and even as a masochist, neither I nor he enjoyed the sensations or the emotions of the punishment spanking. Quick and dirty I call it. If those lobsters are overcooked on Saturday we may revisit this issue in detail. [;)].

Jaybeee -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/11/2010 2:13:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: porcelaine quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee I will gear this question primarily for the females as I would imagine most men would want their mistresses taking some form of enjoyment from process of doling out a punishment, but the reverse could seem to border on abusive, and I was wondering where the line was (or ought to be) drawn, and how fine it is. I enjoy administering pain and my style is not abusive. As for punishment, I derive no enjoyment from behavioral correction. In my mind it references situations where discipline and other forms of conditioning have not been successful and the infraction still takes place. I see this as problematic rather than arousing. ~porcelaine Fairly interesting about the difference between the motivations for inflicting pain, but you're a mistress, are you not? My question wasn't for mistresses, but female SUBS, as made quite clear by the thread title and opening post. On an aside, the motivations in punishment put me in mind of parenting; there, punishment must never be administered with a smile, or any form of enjoyment. That would indeed constitute abuse in parenting, but now I'm the one talking about irrelevancies!!

angelikaJ -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/11/2010 6:13:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee quote: ORIGINAL: porcelaine quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee I will gear this question primarily for the females as I would imagine most men would want their mistresses taking some form of enjoyment from process of doling out a punishment, but the reverse could seem to border on abusive, and I was wondering where the line was (or ought to be) drawn, and how fine it is. I enjoy administering pain and my style is not abusive. As for punishment, I derive no enjoyment from behavioral correction. In my mind it references situations where discipline and other forms of conditioning have not been successful and the infraction still takes place. I see this as problematic rather than arousing. ~porcelaine Fairly interesting about the difference between the motivations for inflicting pain, but you're a mistress, are you not? My question wasn't for mistresses, but female SUBS, as made quite clear by the thread title and opening post. On an aside, the motivations in punishment put me in mind of parenting; there, punishment must never be administered with a smile, or any form of enjoyment. That would indeed constitute abuse in parenting, but now I'm the one talking about irrelevancies!! 1) Anyone is welcome to answer any post on any forum regardless of their orientation. 2) You did not have issue with any of the other non-female subs who posted in answer to your query, which I find curious. 3) She wasn't answering you, but jujubee's query.

texangael -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/11/2010 6:21:31 AM)
quote: I will gear this question primarily for the females as I would imagine most men would want their mistresses taking some form of enjoyment from process of doling out a punishment, but the reverse could seem to border on abusive, and I was wondering where the line was (or ought to be) drawn, and how fine it is. Enjoying the act of administering punishment is abuse. Period. End of Sentence. End of Discussion. Enjoying the act of spanking for spanking's sake is....a given.

juliaoceania -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/11/2010 9:12:10 AM)
quote: Enjoying the act of administering punishment is abuse. Period. End of Sentence. End of Discussion. Enjoying the act of spanking for spanking's sake is....a given. Sorry, I don't agree with this at all. If both people get fulfilled by whatever they are doing it is not abuse

sexyred1 -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/11/2010 9:13:53 AM)
I don't view spanking as punishment. It is fun. Therefore whomever is spanking me should be enjoying it or they should not be there at all.

CeriseNin -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/11/2010 9:44:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: texangael quote: I will gear this question primarily for the females as I would imagine most men would want their mistresses taking some form of enjoyment from process of doling out a punishment, but the reverse could seem to border on abusive, and I was wondering where the line was (or ought to be) drawn, and how fine it is. Enjoying the act of administering punishment is abuse. Period. End of Sentence. End of Discussion. Enjoying the act of spanking for spanking's sake is....a given. I disagree that it's abusive full stop. If it enriches the relationship for both partners, it's not abuse. From the s side of the slash, I may be thinking, "She's really enjoying punishing me!" and the thought it sends my head into a fun place.

slaveluci -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/11/2010 6:53:41 PM)
~Fast Reply~ Yes, He enjoys spanking me. He enjoys everything He does to/with me or else we wouldn't be doing it. Period. He simply doesn't partake in things He doesn't like to when it comes to the two of us. Well, unless you count tolerating the 70's music I have on iTunes[8D] As for punishment? That's simply never needed. I obey because I want to and there's no need to punish me, let alone with spanking which wouldn't be a punishment at all[;)] luci

texangael -> RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? (8/11/2010 8:44:18 PM)
quote: Sorry, I don't agree with this at all. Does not change the fact that anyone deserving the label of human being is not going to enjoy punishing others.

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