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RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/11/2010 8:58:32 PM   
angelintexas


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/9/2010
Status: offline 		If someone enjoys punishing someone else, that means they enjoy that person being a failure.  That is different from enjoying the act of spanking.  I would never be with anyone who enjoyed punishing me.



(in reply to Jaybeee)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/11/2010 11:57:53 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		I think this thread should have been:
Should your master enjoy hurting you when spanking you?

(in reply to angelintexas)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 12:09:21 AM   
wittynamehere


Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline 		*hasn't read the whole thread, so I'm replying directly to the OP*

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee
I would imagine most men would want their mistresses taking some form of enjoyment from process of doling out a punishment

"Mistress" is a term commonly used for dominant females. You probably meant "submissive" or "girl", I assume.

In any case, no, I don't think most dominants want their submissive or slave to enjoy punishment. Punishment by definition is something meant to deter a behaviour from occurring. If it's enjoyed, it probably isn't effective punishment.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee
the reverse could seem to border on abusive..

Sorry, but I have to disagree here as well. One enjoying spanking another doesn't make it "abuse".
Furthermore, I would make the case that if the dominant is NOT enjoying doing the spanking, then he/she shouldn't be doing it! Personally speaking, if I don't enjoy doing something to my girl, there's a dimished chance I'll be willing to do it. The odd exception may occur, but for the most part, I do what pleases me. If I don't want to spank her, I don't spank her.

< Message edited by wittynamehere -- 8/12/2010 12:10:21 AM >

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RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 12:19:25 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

I think this thread should have been:
Should your master enjoy hurting you when spanking you?


I can only hope he does

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 4:45:06 AM   
pemblerose


Posts: 12
Joined: 3/30/2010
Status: offline 		firs time it ever happened to me started off with him being angry with me.  we'd been getting on each others nerves all day and i got into bed in a right strop and he was fuming and i turned my back to him in bed and he wacked my bum, i went ow so he wacked it some more.  it hurt like hell at first and then he started doing it so it didnt hurt as much and he was kinda wibbling my bum at the same time and i asked him when he was going to stop and he said - when i get bored with making youre arse jiggle.  seems he's never got bored of that. i suppose that makes us wierd then.

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 6:19:33 AM   
texangael


Posts: 167
Joined: 12/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

One enjoying spanking another doesn't make it "abuse".
The distinction to be made is spanking vs punishment.  Spankings outside of punishment should be enjoyed by both parties.  Punishment is something that must be done to rectify a mistake--and should never be enjoyed.  As another stated above, enjoying giving punishment is tantamount to wanting the slave to fail--and actions arising from that most definitively are abuse.


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RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 6:39:54 AM   
CeriseNin


Posts: 286
Joined: 4/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: texangael

quote:

One enjoying spanking another doesn't make it "abuse".
The distinction to be made is spanking vs punishment.  Spankings outside of punishment should be enjoyed by both parties.  Punishment is something that must be done to rectify a mistake--and should never be enjoyed. As another stated above, enjoying giving punishment is tantamount to wanting the slave to fail--and actions arising from that most definitively are abuse.


Your opinion is not shared by me and others I know. If you think it's abuse that's your right, but not everyone feels abused if their PYL enjoys punishing them - - I certainly don't.

(in reply to texangael)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 7:11:05 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: texangael

The distinction to be made is spanking vs punishment.  Spankings outside of punishment should be enjoyed by both parties.  Punishment is something that must be done to rectify a mistake--and should never be enjoyed.  As another stated above, enjoying giving punishment is tantamount to wanting the slave to fail--and actions arising from that most definitively are abuse.

In my experience, if you're talking about abstract relationship concepts and using the words 'should' and 'must', you are almost certainly generalising-should and must are fine when you are talking about your own relationship expectations, but when you apply them to everyone else it's too simplistic.

What about someone taking pleasure in the fact that they have an effective system? That they have a way of correcting things? What about the catharsis punishment can bring for both partners (I assume-it's not my personal bag)? Those things do not involve wanting their s-type to fail at all-they are signs that the relationship will survive things going wrong.

Some empathy wouldn't go amiss, texangael-there are often multiple ways to view a situation, and screaming abuse at such a generalised concept does nobody any good.


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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 9:14:12 AM   
texangael


Posts: 167
Joined: 12/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

What about someone taking pleasure in the fact that they have an effective system? That they have a way of correcting things? What about the catharsis punishment can bring for both partners (I assume-it's not my personal bag)? Those things do not involve wanting their s-type to fail at all-they are signs that the relationship will survive things going wrong.
Catharsis is not punishment. The rest of your commentary is therefore moot.

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RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 9:16:53 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Who says so? I've seen many subs post here quite the opposite opinion. The fact that is your viewpoint (and mine as well by the way) certainly doesn't make it true for everyone else.


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RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 9:23:30 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: texangael

quote:

What about someone taking pleasure in the fact that they have an effective system? That they have a way of correcting things? What about the catharsis punishment can bring for both partners (I assume-it's not my personal bag)? Those things do not involve wanting their s-type to fail at all-they are signs that the relationship will survive things going wrong.
Catharsis is not punishment. The rest of your commentary is therefore moot.


It seems you have had a bad experience with this sort of dominant...

But her post is not "moot", but extremely relevant. For example, just because I enjoy getting spanked does not mean I am going to act out to get a spanking. I have control over my behavior and I wouldn't act an ass to get punished. Likewise a dominant might on some level enjoy punishing his submissive, but he has enough control only to do so when it is appropriate within their dynamic.

Speaking in absolutes is rarely a valid way to approach life, and I say this as someone who has done it more than I should in my younger years... life isn't black and white, therefore we need to deal with each situation as a unique one, because it is. if you want to label a specific sort of relationship type as abusive in theory, fine, but there will always be an exception to your rule... life just works like that

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(in reply to texangael)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 9:41:46 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: texangael

quote:

What about someone taking pleasure in the fact that they have an effective system? That they have a way of correcting things? What about the catharsis punishment can bring for both partners (I assume-it's not my personal bag)? Those things do not involve wanting their s-type to fail at all-they are signs that the relationship will survive things going wrong.
Catharsis is not punishment. The rest of your commentary is therefore moot.

Perhaps not for you, but punishment can absolutely be catharsis for some people.

There goes that 'empathy' thing I was talking about again...

Catharsis was also only a single part of that post-it in no way affects the sentences that came before it.


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RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 10:25:13 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		The current responses to VaguelyCurious are very interesting to me.

It shows how rigid and black and white some people's thinking can be.



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RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 11:10:32 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		It's because she is short.

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RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 11:17:37 AM   
texangael


Posts: 167
Joined: 12/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

But her post is not "moot", but extremely relevant.
As catharsis is not punishment, no, her comments have no relevance whatsoever.

The reality is that there are absolutes in this world. One of them is that decent human being do not enjoy punishment. Prevarications and rationalizations and protestations to the contrary are categorically incorrect.

You will of course continue to think otherwise, and you will continue to be in error as a consequence.

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 11:26:04 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: texangael

The reality is that there are absolutes in this world. One of them is that decent human being do not enjoy punishment.

The only thing that's absolute here is that this is absolutely your opinion.  Nothing more.  That's the reality.

~stef


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RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 11:29:45 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: texangael

As catharsis is not punishment, no, her comments have no relevance whatsoever.
Ok, let's remove the mention of catharsis from what I said, since it bothers you so:

'What about someone taking pleasure in the fact that they have an effective system? That they have a way of correcting things?...Those things do not involve wanting their s-type to fail at all-they are signs that the relationship will survive things going wrong.

Some empathy wouldn't go amiss, texangael-there are often multiple ways to view a situation, and screaming abuse at such a generalised concept does nobody any good.'

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 11:32:11 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: texangael

quote:

But her post is not "moot", but extremely relevant.
As catharsis is not punishment, no, her comments have no relevance whatsoever.

The reality is that there are absolutes in this world. One of them is that decent human being do not enjoy punishment. Prevarications and rationalizations and protestations to the contrary are categorically incorrect.

You will of course continue to think otherwise, and you will continue to be in error as a consequence.


You are one of these literal people who must be constantly upset with the world and all it contains for not fitting into your tiny mental boxes... I read your profile, and I find it ironic that in my opinion men who are selfish "bullies" tend to be abusive... but I am sure that isn't all selfish bullies, just most

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 11:33:16 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: texangael

quote:

But her post is not "moot", but extremely relevant.
As catharsis is not punishment, no, her comments have no relevance whatsoever.

The reality is that there are absolutes in this world. One of them is that decent human being do not enjoy punishment. Prevarications and rationalizations and protestations to the contrary are categorically incorrect.
You will of course continue to think otherwise, and you will continue to be in error as a consequence.



There are indeed physical and scientific absolutes.

You are saying there are emotional absolutes?

How and were are these defined?

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Should/Does your Master ENJOY spanking you? - 8/12/2010 11:36:47 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff


quote:

ORIGINAL: texangael

quote:

But her post is not "moot", but extremely relevant.
As catharsis is not punishment, no, her comments have no relevance whatsoever.

The reality is that there are absolutes in this world. One of them is that decent human being do not enjoy punishment. Prevarications and rationalizations and protestations to the contrary are categorically incorrect.
You will of course continue to think otherwise, and you will continue to be in error as a consequence.



There are indeed physical and scientific absolutes.

You are saying there are emotional absolutes?

How and were are these defined?


Even the fact that the sun will rise tomorrow is not an absolute. We can infer it will happen from all the times it rose before, but it might not rise tomorrow...



_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 60
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