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RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/12/2010 2:52:25 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Yeah, but Laurell, that's just basic compatibility. If he didn't like bondage but was a needle top, we wouldn't get along playwise. I can't understand how he could just love tying me up on Tuesday yet Friday morning wake up and say he was never doing it again. It's something he's loved for damn near 40 years so he isn't going to change. Now if he claimed he enjoyed it to get me to commit then announced he hated it, he wouldn't be an honest and honorable man worthy of having anyone follow him including the dog.

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RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/12/2010 3:52:05 PM   
WhipsAndGiggles


Posts: 29
Joined: 10/26/2009
Status: offline 		No... maybe he wouldn't wake up randomly and stop something suddenly. But people do evolve, change, grow, as does their personality, and their sexuality.

I noticed a lot of people indicating they believe that Dominance is a natural, born quality. Without even attempting to debate THAT, I pose this perspective: Dominance may be natural, but whether someone wants to engage in power exchange based relationships is certainly optional. There could be a myriad of reasons individuals opt for what they do, how they do it, which ways they like it and even who they want to do it with. All of which are choices to varying degrees. Even in the best of situations with someone very introspective and tuned into themselves, there's a lot of room for growth and progression of what is fulfilling and why.

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RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/12/2010 5:55:21 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

What must a Master do to keep you?

Leg irons.
A long chain locked to those irons and a sturdy radiator.
A dog neck cone so I don't chew my ankle off...

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RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/12/2010 5:58:11 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		LOL....I'm so picturing short little you in a dog cone right now and laughing my ass off!

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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/12/2010 5:59:58 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Heh heh.

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RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/12/2010 6:04:59 PM   
ForgetMeKnots


Posts: 95
Joined: 6/14/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Carol's expectations of me:

a) To love her.
b) To lead effectively and to her benefit.
c) To avoid being a dumbass as much as possible.

It is, of course (b) above where the magic happens. Given an entire life to work with, it'd be impossible to enumerate all the things which would constitute "effectively" and "to her benefit". They are in the "you know it when you see it" category.


I just love your posts!

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/12/2010 6:10:50 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

He could not provide me with any of the essential emotional components I needed; he thought that because we were so "hot" together, it was a relationship.

He disrespected the boundaries of our relationship and destroyed every bit of trust I had in him.

He would not communicate with me on any important level.

He became an angry, selfish, negative, antisocial person who took out his anger on me.

And now he wonders why we cannot see each other ever again.


As I was reading this my thoughts went "But come on.... they were so "hot" together. What a shame.". How ironic.

Are you referring to trust, security, openness and honesty?


What exactly do you find so ironic about something not working out?

It is quite possible to have intense attraction, great sex and chemistry with someone even though the other emotional components were not entirely there.

We did love each other, still do, but just cannot co-exist in a relationship together.

Perhaps at age 22 you have yet to experience this phenomenon. I hope to god you never do, for it is a damn shame and quite tragic.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 8/12/2010 6:14:26 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/13/2010 6:16:08 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipsAndGiggles

No... maybe he wouldn't wake up randomly and stop something suddenly. But people do evolve, change, grow, as does their personality, and their sexuality.



At your age, agreed. There's lots of experimentations as you mature. I've loved being tied up from before legal age and onward. I can assure you that something I've loved for forty years is not an experiment or something I will evolve out of.


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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/13/2010 11:10:47 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
I've had vanilla relationships end because the person wasn't dominant enough, but I don't think that is what you are asking. ;) No I have never had a bdsm relationship end because my partner wasn't masterful enough. But admittedly, I have not had very many bdsm relationships!

So what must s/he do to keep me? The only answer that fits is: not release me! :)

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RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 5:05:51 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

He has. He's hoping to get a list of stuff that if he does everyday will make him appear to be the perfect dom. Pull hair, check. Growl in ear, check. Nothing to do with being a person who thinks before he speaks, keeps his word, thinks about the effect on his partner and other honorable attributes of a man who makes great decisions and merits being the leader.



He has? I just looked again and I didn't see him give an answer. Maybe you could tell me the post #

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 5:28:14 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

He has. He's hoping to get a list of stuff that if he does everyday will make him appear to be the perfect dom. Pull hair, check. Growl in ear, check. Nothing to do with being a person who thinks before he speaks, keeps his word, thinks about the effect on his partner and other honorable attributes of a man who makes great decisions and merits being the leader.



He has? I just looked again and I didn't see him give an answer. Maybe you could tell me the post #


I suspect it may be in the thread title, which was NOT "What must a Master BE to keep you?".


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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 7:57:10 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		And the fact that he kept asking for specific actions. That he thinks topping is equivalent to dominant. That he doesn't get the fact of who he is is more important than what he does.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 8:07:46 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:


I suspect it may be in the thread title, which was NOT "What must a Master BE to keep you?".


applause


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RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 8:39:01 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

"What must a Master BE to keep you?".


This is what I was trying to say. If I gave out eloquence points you would get some.


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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 8:44:11 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

And the fact that he kept asking for specific actions. That he thinks topping is equivalent to dominant. That he doesn't get the fact of who he is is more important than what he does.


I think it's apparent from his various threads and posts that he DOES get it, he just didn't word the thread the way he assumed he did, which happens to all of us that actually attempt to write them. It's really difficult to write a thread because you cannot really anticipate what words people will get hung up on and which direction it will go. I mean we all see our words from OUR perspective don't we?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 9:32:20 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I think it's apparent from his various threads and posts that he DOES get it

I don't know that it *is* apparent, laurell-perhaps you're seeing something I'm not.


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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 9:55:46 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

And the fact that he kept asking for specific actions. That he thinks topping is equivalent to dominant. That he doesn't get the fact of who he is is more important than what he does.


Which is why I asked him to clarify what he meant. Apparently from the comments, I was supposed to get that from the thread title, but didn't. Oh well.


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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 10:27:10 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
"What must a Master BE to keep you?".

OK, so I'm struggling with this. Yeah yeah, getting snarky with an OP is a tradition here on collarme and finding some way, ANY way to label someone "not dominant" is always fun. But I'm just not seeing how this question is any different for anyone with personal integrity. Let's assume I am a man of integrity. Then what I *am* is the kind of guy which makes the three things I wrote above true.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 11:03:57 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Let's assume I am a man of integrity. Then what I *am* is the kind of guy which makes the three things I wrote above true.

That's because the things you wrote above were fairly general-the OP seems to be asking about specific activities (on laurell's thread he mentioned the possibility of asking his partner how many spankings etc. he should be giving her, for example).


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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 1:02:18 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
That's because the things you wrote above were fairly general-the OP seems to be asking about specific activities (on laurell's thread he mentioned the possibility of asking his partner how many spankings etc. he should be giving her, for example).
OK, I'm kind of following along VC. The more I think about it though, the more I think that I probably shouldn't have responded on this thread. It's coming from "that other world" where things like "how many nights a week <insert sexual activity here>" is any sort of relevant measure of anything. It's a fine world, just not mine.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 60
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