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RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 7:29:54 AM   
cillydom


Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		I want a subbie that is strong enough to stand on here own when not with me and submissive enough to want to lean on me when she is.

< Message edited by cillydom -- 4/20/2006 7:31:46 AM >

(in reply to crazypatient)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 8:03:12 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crazypatient

how to masters feel about strong subs?  I find men that think that all women should be totally submissive... but most turely strong men require their women to be strong enouph to be a challenge to dominate...  any man can dominate a weak woman, it really takes a man to dominate a strong woman... any thoughts?


Ah yes, the "strong woman" who is ever lamenting that no man she's met yet is man enough to control her, or is worthy of the "gift" of her submission. I find this popular supposition more annoying than anything else. So often it so exactingly sows the seeds the wrong type of submission, in my mind. Every woman who seeks to submit—mild or wild—has the potential to be a valued possession, but it's quite unattractive when she's acting as if her pussy is made of solid platinum, and I certainly don't uphold the idea that I should be encouraging that little ego trip.

(in reply to crazypatient)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 8:19:51 AM   
SirChazz


Posts: 11
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline 		I want a subbie that is strong enough to stand on here own when not with me and submissive enough to want to lean on me when she is.

< Message edited by cillydom -- 4/20/2006 7:31:46 AM >
 I agree, I also enjoy switches. I like the independant streak, and a good backbone. I find that a women who has submitted to very few in her life, and then gives me the gift is a treasure. I can enjoy a very submissive woman, but in a differnt way. While I do not play differntly, I tend to treat them differnt.  I do enjoy knowing that if I need her strenght I can have it to lean on.

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 8:39:35 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I only want a class 7 submissive with a personal strength measurement of 6 and submissive index of 9.

(in reply to cillydom)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 8:44:42 AM   
sweetnsensual200


Posts: 31
Joined: 3/23/2005
Status: offline
hello, everyone.
 
i am a challenging woman. i'm very strong willed, usually everything has to be my way, i'm very opinionted and i'll be damned if someone's going to walk all over me and ignore them. no one has the right to use me or treat me like crap and i will never ever stand for it. i'm just too smart to think that i would deserve something like that. having said that, i will say i am a submissive. most people think i should be a Domme but i disagree. maybe it's because i'm biased but i know for a fact submissives don't have to be a doormat (sorry for using the "d" word slavejali) or be considered weak. i take real exception when i get emails saying "i am a dominant, you will submit to me because i am a Dom!" or some other crap like that. other Doms i've talked to want a strong minded woman because anything else is the d word. maybe it's because it's in some men's nature to have a challenge. someone once told me men admire strength and i'm sure it's a big ego stroke to Doms when they get a strong woman to give into their "manly-ness" but hey, whatever trips your trigger, right?
 
i really disagree with amayos.  i really doubt strong subs conisder their pussies made of solid platinum.  i could, however, say the same thing to some Doms, that they consider their cocks this wonderful gift They bless upon women.  for some Doms, the lifestyle IS the biggest ego trip because some get to have complete control over someone else.  in Your profile, You say You want a submissive with a spine but You also say You will openly avoid submissive feminists.  honestly, what's the difference between the two?  i know someone could have a spine without being a feminist but what's so wrong with submissive feminists?  why does the word feminist carry such an ugly tone with some people?  feminism is just being proud that you're a woman and not willing to be considered below men.  i really doubt any male Dom on here would like to be considered "lower" than a female submissive.  anyone care to disagree with me on that point?  it is the same thing for "submissive feminists."  i have gotten so many emails from Doms who have said to me that subs DO deserve the same amount of respect as Dom/mes. 

i also disagree with meatcleaver. i don't consider myself dominant but i do take the lead in most things. i tend to lead the group and take care of everyone in my circle of friends, even to the point they call me motherly. i tend to fight and argue with my teachers and the administration and other people i go to school with (i like to argue, so sue me) because like i said before, i have opinions and you're going to listen to them. Of course, i will listen to other people's opinions while thinking of points i could make to knock them down. i've always been this way, probably since i learned to talk. luck of the draw, i suppose. i am, however, a submissive. this is not a fantasy for me. if i wanted a fantasy, i'd find a vanilla man to do it for me.
 
i agree with IndigoDadesi, strong men are important and although i don't think they "make" me submit as to i choose to submit to them as i believe every sub/slave chooses to submit to their Dom/me. i love my independance and consider it a very, very dear thing. usually, i don't want to be tied to anyone or anything because it's usually just messy and starts problems EXCEPT for my Dom. my Dom is the only person i would ever slow down and stop for, the only person i would ever allow to say "no" to me because i trust Him to know what's best for me. my family doesn't even have that power over me. i don't usually like the term "best for me" because usually, i'm the only one who knows that because it is, after all, my life.  and just because i might 'belong' to my Dom, that does not make me His possession.  i am not a thing, i am a person and i want to be treated as so.  for the most part, i want this because Dom/mes are treated like They are people, that They have a mind and choices, why shouldn't submissives?  i am talking in public or in the eyes of others who are not their Dom/me of course because in private or otherwise with a submissive's Dom/me, every relationship is different, every relationship whatever it is has it's own rules or stipulations or whatever.  each Dom/me and sub will work out their own rules for respect and what T/they mean to E/each other.  it's not up to anyone else to push their own ideas (i.e. "your submissive doesn't deserve respect" or "you should give Your Dom more respect because He is above you, sub").  it doesn't matter if a sub is strong willed or who is simply more willing to submit "easier".  they're still subs, they still deserve respect.  and there is certainly NOTHING wrong with a strong sub.  i think it helps with the stereotype that all submissives are weak and can't think for themselves and that's why they need a Dom/me to make all decisions for themselves.  like i said before, all relationships are different but of course, the vanilla mind doesn't necessarily take that into account sometimes, does it?
 
this might be unusual or wrong to the lifestyle but that's my world in the lifestyle and it doesn't have to be anyone elses. i also realize some of what i said might've contradicted itself but feel free to rip it all apart. like i said, i enjoy arguing.

(in reply to SirChazz)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 10:16:06 AM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

The owners want to win that battle, watch their property fight then surrender to the owner’s strength. So do most subs/slaves enjoy their defeat, after all if we really wanted to win we would be dominants ourselves, not slaves.



Bingo!  well said twicehappy.

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 10:38:01 AM   
broadline


Posts: 11
Joined: 11/30/2005
From: New Westminster, BC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I only want a class 7 submissive with a personal strength measurement of 6 and submissive index of 9.


Bwahaha! Word!

_____________________________

"i have dreamt so much of you that it must
be past the time for me to wake"
-robert desnos
"poem for the mysterious woman"
one foot in front of the other: http://thepurpleswitch.livejournal.com
and chimeras: http://bj.gatefiction.com

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 10:54:19 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Strong.... weak..... doormats.... I really just think that when 2 connect.... really hitting it off... and decide they want to give it a whirl... they both heed to the other. And together work out what little kinks there is. And things either work or they don't. But you give it a try. That's the joys of seeking..... and the thrill of finding.  

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to broadline)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 11:49:17 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		The stronger i am, and the greater a source of strength i am for my family, the more my submission means to him.  When i was weaker, i would submit to Masters not nearly as strong as my own.  While he felt my submission was nice to have at the time, it had less meaning since anyone could have received it.  As he helped me become stronger and i grew more confident in myself and became a pillar of strength for others, my submission became more valuable and special to him, as did i.   The stronger i become, the more impressive to him my submission is, and the more special and valuable it becomes.

Those are words said to me by him.

(in reply to crazypatient)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 12:59:16 PM   
broadline


Posts: 11
Joined: 11/30/2005
From: New Westminster, BC
Status: offline 		Wow. What ownedgirlie said.

_____________________________

"i have dreamt so much of you that it must
be past the time for me to wake"
-robert desnos
"poem for the mysterious woman"
one foot in front of the other: http://thepurpleswitch.livejournal.com
and chimeras: http://bj.gatefiction.com

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 1:08:53 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

it's quite unattractive when she's acting as if her pussy is made of solid platinum, and I certainly don't uphold the idea that I should be encouraging that little ego trip.


Wow, I never new there was a grading system of the female private parts. So what are the categories? Platinum, Gold, Silver, Bronze, Nickel, and Rusty nail?

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 2:00:29 PM   
VvShadowspawnvV


Posts: 218
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline 		Actually, becoming the slave Master wants me to be has required a LOT of strength thus far. *two cents, nothing more*

becca

(in reply to cillydom)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 4:27:10 PM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		I would agree with so much of what has been said here.. I feel that strength, and being a capable person, is vital not just to a BDSM relationship, but to ANY adult relationship.  It's very important to be able to function as a responsible, well adjusted, capable person, (all on your own, if need be) if you plan on being any kind of a success as an adult human being.   That is not what I was picking at in the original post. 

What is irksome, is that for some reason, there is this stigma attached to actual submission to another person.  As if by not being a mouthy, ornery, contrary, power-struggling, know-it-all whilst simultaneously saying you are whole heartedly submitting to another person, that makes you, by default, (the awful word) a door mat.  I am strong enough in my conviction, my love, my devotion and my intelligence to not need to jerk the man I made the  CHOICE to submit to around with a bunch of demands and bitching.  It is not the kind of person I want to be. 

I have worked my butt off in the past 10 years or so to evolve into a better person, and as a consequence, I feel I have developed traits which may make me a better submissive than I was as the selfish, demanding, persnickety smart-ass  back then.. those qualities (being, compassion, respect for others, respect for difference, a genuine desire to bring light instead of darkness when at all possible, the choice to use my energy as a person to help people as much as I can instead of investing all my energy into selfishness) do not weaken me.  Do those qualities devolve my intelligence?  Do they counter-mind my ability to function, quite highly, as an accomplished person?  Do they make me a dependent (or perhaps even worse, co-dependant)?  Do they negate the innate strength I have always had as a person?  Do they make me less, make me weak??

My answer is no.. I see no reason why they should, or why they have to... In fact it's those very qualities which enable me to be a stronger person and a more consciously, as well as intrinsically involved submissive.  When I was owned, I was in a constant state of reaffirmation of the begging of my collar, largely due to the sensitivity those qualities ignite in one's self.  I was, on every level, in every moment acting upon my decision( my final solitary decision) to submit to him, to submit to not just the choice, but to the absolute certainty that my life, and position in that life with him was right.  To jockey about in power struggles and squabbles shows nothing more to me than a person who is not strong enough to commit to their Dominant.. and a person who is not strong enough to trust their own decision (not to mention their Dominant).  It suggests a person too weak to trust in the beauty of submission because of the vulnerability, NOT the weakness, it reveals.  There is a real vulnerability in surrender, that is what brings about the beauty, that openness... but if you are strong, you can go there.. because you know, no matter what, the person you (and again, not to mention your Dominant!) are is strong enough to handle it, and what ever may come from it. And the person you are is strong enough to know that that risk is the only way to bring about what is so vital to you as a person and as one half of a dynamic called the D/s or M/s relationship.  And brings you strength, as one who serves, vulnerably, honestly, and intrinsically... with the greatest of strengths.. the strength of love. 

< Message edited by puella -- 4/20/2006 4:31:26 PM >

(in reply to VvShadowspawnvV)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 8:24:06 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		What a great post.

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 8:30:24 PM   
enthralled


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Nashville, Tn
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I only want a class 7 submissive with a personal strength measurement of 6 and submissive index of 9.


Damn- I went over the submissive index by .00005 and 1/3 . lmao

enthralled

_____________________________

A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another's.-Jean Paul Richter

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 9:01:19 PM   
chainedphoenix


Posts: 8
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		*nods* What puella said. Also in agreement with sweetnsensual.

To submit when you are able to stand on your own makes you that much more vulnerable, and making yourself vulnerable to someone is half the point of submission. To submit when you could fight it off and disobey makes it that much sweeter when you obey, are rewarded. And to submit because you choose to, for love and devotion to your Dom/me, makes it that much more satisfying to both you and your Dom/me. (According to my Master, and to me).


_____________________________

Master's Pet and loving it!

(in reply to enthralled)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 9:30:33 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		I expect all my male slaves to be strong and independent when dealing with other people though I expect them to bow to my supreme fabulousness and behave in a totally submissive way towards me, I don’t like to get involved with limp slaves who feel they have to get on their knees for anyone who comes along in a leather hat and shakes a riding crop at them.

_____________________________

Visit my website http://www.tigerdom.com

(in reply to chainedphoenix)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 10:28:38 PM   
Reasonable


Posts: 459
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		Would it not depend on your defintion of strong? I judge by the ability to have harmony-whatever your desire.

Strong enough to stand by you is good-"strong" enough to be a constant pain in the ass is not.

< Message edited by Reasonable -- 4/20/2006 10:29:05 PM >

(in reply to crazypatient)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/20/2006 10:51:29 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

how to masters feel about strong subs?  I find men that think that all women should be totally submissive... but most turely strong men require their women to be strong enouph to be a challenge to dominate...  any man can dominate a weak woman, it really takes a man to dominate a strong woman... any thoughts?

Strength, I suppose, is as subjective as anything else. Himself kisses me and I get weak in the knees. He takes my power away with no effort. I am no challenge because service to him feeds my beast and fulfills me in ways that nothing else has ever done. All that I am is his to use, modify or dismiss at a whim. It is no effort to serve him, to please him, to obey him. It's not even something I think about doing. I just do what I'm supposed to do.

And yet, he is the only one from whom I do these things, feel this way and who pulls my essence from me and recognizes me for who and what I am. And I am the only one he wants kneeling before him ready to serve. Whether that takes his strength or some sort of weakness on my part.. frankly, I just don't know. Whatever it is, it works for us.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to crazypatient)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Strong subs.. - 4/21/2006 3:30:46 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		Meatclever greetings

may i ask why did you pick your name
I know my name is very different but yours
is scary oh do forgive me but i have this thing
about knives I am silly but they scare me silly.I
wonder why that is all i have my name i wanted it
to be so different from any other dommes names
It is different so come tell me ( please )

mons/jane

(in reply to cillydom)
Profile   Post #: 40
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