CynthiaWVirginia
Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010 From: West Virginia, USA Status: offline
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Your post was so well written that I just had to leave a comment. Whenever I'm caught saying that I'm an old lady it isn't to put down anyone young, it's because so much has happened in my life that at this time in my life I feel kinda old. In a year or two I will probably be my puddle stomping self again. quote:
It isnt just from people in the community but I have to wonder why others feel the need to put others down simply regarding age. I often see or hear when your my age you'll know, or well 21 year olds think they know it all. If such is bothersome why does the older crowd feel the need to be what they say they dislike. Good point. I try not to be a know it all, but...on some things, yes, I almost do. Each of us has an expertise on something, or some things, because we have lived with it for so long. I try not to be condescending but sometimes I slip and my foot goes into my mouth. When I took a Trailways bus from WV to CA when I had barely turned 17, I became an adult. I provided for myself, worked full time at a minimum wage job I hated and payed my rent like everyone else...but...looking back, I don't think I really grew up all the way until I was 22 or 23. I didn't really begin to like the person I was becoming until I was 25+. I had a lot of issues to work through. I agree with what Steven said. Spirited, where I live, I see that most of the young adults keep their immaturity for much longer than they used to. When I was 11, I had to watch three younger kids often, and two were in diapers. Years ago, kids could get jobs without having to pay taxes and get all kinds of permits (nowadays, their parents would be penalized in one way or another). Most of the kids wander around all day long with no adult supervision as their parents are both working and there is no babysitter. We see the difference in our neighborhood...and for the first time in my life I have to be wary of teens and people in their early twenties. We own property and have beer bottles tossed onto our lawns, hear loud music for half the night, have neighbor kids just decide that our yard is their playground (and they get teed off and slash your tires or break out windows if they are politely asked to leave). Yes, there can be an unjustified wariness of young people until their maturity makes me respect them and welcome their company. Immaturity grates on my nerves, no matter what the age...I'm only human. quote:
- If you could change the age of majority what would you change it to?
- If 18 is not an age where one is considered and adult and able to make adult decisions, what is this magical age that one has to reach before they are an "adult"?
- What do you consider an adult to be?
- What significant life experience does one need to have before they reach "adulthood"?
- And finally, Why do you feel the need to degrade or put others down because of something they have no control over such as age?
I see things as: child, then young adult, then mature adult. Some people need to leave home to improve their living conditions, so I wouldn't want to force anyone to stay at home if they wanted to leave...but on the other hand, I miss adulthood being at 21. I know, the boys who went to the Vietnam war said if they had to die for their country at age 18, then they should be able to drink beer and vote. :) But within some families things changed. Some parents count the days when their child is grown up, 18 years old, and can leave the nest. I prefer that kids stay at home till 21 (unless they are unbearable to live with), so they can attend college while also being at home, learn skills in a trade school, or even work and save up money for a car or a down payment on a house. My sister and I broke the "get them out of the house at 18" mold and both of us have our kids living with us still. My niece is a college graduate and is 24. This probably has nothing to do with what you are talking about though...except that if either my sister and I were "putting our kids down" every day, the kids would be unhappy and would move out...and maybe never talk to us again except on holidays. It's hard being young. I know; I felt young once and went through all that you are going through. Just smile at us old folks and cut us some slack...sometimes generation gaps really do exist...and can be bridged only by patience, tolerance, and understanding on both sides. quote:
And finally, Why do you feel the need to degrade or put others down because of something they have no control over such as age? The only time I am guilty of this is when I catch someone in an amazing act of selfish immaturity. It's not really the age, but how a person behaves. At least with youth, we can hope they will outgrow it and become more considerate of others. I, too, have no control over age. One of you youngsters might want to call me an "old person" and there's nothing I can do about it. Degradation and put downs? Just wait till you have stretch marks from having babies, have to wear thick glasses, get wrinkles or age spots...have your breasts sag. It ain't that rosy on this side of the fence. For every person who acts like an asshat, you will likely meet a dozen more who are nice and friendly. You are where you need to be right now...and I wish you a happy journey through life. Long time ago, when I was 19, I worked for an "old" woman who put me down all the time...and then I realized that she envied me my youth. Her life was winding down while mine was just beginning. I was gentle with her and chose not to hurt her more by standing up for myself. My life was my own life, and nothing her words could say would change anything.
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