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ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia

I didn't find anything offensive about his question.
  I didn't say it was offensive to me, either. I felt like it was deceptive, and I didn't choose to take offense at deception. But I did share my opinions (which I am also free to do, or shut up, or be nicey-nice.)

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Then why did you send private messages to me on the 'other side' saying something about how you are "trying to live your fantasies through forums" ?  Maybe because of your photo he assumed that you were as sweet and kind as you looked.  Well, it is never a good idea to make judgments about people based on their appearances.... although I don't think my response remotely negates kindness.

Why be frank there- but deceptive here?  I don't see any deception anywhere.  Where is it?  He seems to be wanting information, if you don't want to supply it...that's okay too.  I do think its deceptive to seem like you 'just want info' and then privately reveal that you are actually living a fantasy through forums.

If you are indeed trying to live your fantasy in the forums, you should at least be honest with the people you want to cooperate with this, in my opinion. .... But hey... this is probably neither here nor there. I am so grateful that english is my native tongue and that these boards are not Egyptian...with hidden rules and manners I know nothing about.  He is clear about not taking this to real time right now, I see no deception.  He is honestly ASKING.  When people want to learn something, there should be some freedom to ask.  You have equal freedom...to stay silent or try to answer.  Its hard to know how to respond to this. I don't think he's asking honestly. That was pretty much my whole point. He has the FREEDOM to do whatever. Be deceptive. Be honest. Ask questions. Be rude. He's free to do anything and I never told him to stop, although he did actually ask me if I thought he should. I simply pointed out my opinion, and then... just in case his language issues caused him confusion: I said "in my opinion" so he'd know it was in mine----- rather than a hidden rule or widely accepted preference. Which is also my freedom to offer, again.

I doubt anyone is going to give you your fodder.  Men often start off with their fantasies, they might be different from us and their journey take them down a different road, but I am not the *Judge* of who belongs here and who doesn't.  This boy was not rude even when provoked.  I also have no problem with sending males to D/s educational sites and if they use these as wank fodder I don't really care.  It is THEIR journey that they will handle their way, just because it's different from my own doesn't give me the right to invalidate them. Yes, its nice he wasn't rude... or wait wasn't he kind of a little rude, maybe? With that bit about 'true mistresses' blah blah blah... Regardless of how one may react to that statement (because I suppose yeah, most people would consider a Dominant legitimate when they earn the respect and trust the submissive gives them) you might have the time and patience to help them, but I don't think most DO. At least not with this particular approach, which, again... I personally, found to be deceptive and as such didn't respond warmly to.

 
No wonder why we have so many "drive by's" if the newbie driving by gets shot at.  I'd keep on driving too.

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Yeah, it is hard to be taken legitimately and get people to invest in helping you, especially when you seem shady and as though you may be looking for someone to write some BDSM erotica for you. Maybe he IS just confused about how to even talk about all this stuff. I don't know, he didn't say. All I know is that he did say it was to live his fantasy. Even if he got totally shot down it can't hurt to go back to reading old threads and spending time in some self exploration etc etc... heck maybe even find a mentor! While I don't have the patience to discuss it... I'm happy if you do.

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Maybe he IS just confused about how to even talk about all this stuff.

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heck maybe even find a mentor! While I don't have the patience to discuss it... I'm happy if you do.

Glad that my patience has made you happy.