RE: what do you expect when chatting with a potential sub?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: what do you expect when chatting with a potential sub?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: what do you expect when chatting with a potential sub?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: what do you expect when chatting with a potential sub? - 8/25/2010 7:05:27 AM

SomoneReal

Posts: 65
Joined: 7/5/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smartsub10

I haven't been in the lifestyle long and am still learning. Unfortunately, some of that learning has been unpleasant but I take what I can from the experiences to grow.
Just now I was chatting online (yahoo) with a Dom. It was our second chat online. He begins to ask some sexually explicit questions among other things. I understand talking in generalities about kinks to determine compatibility but I would think that the more explicit subjects or making demands to do sexual things while chatting would come up later after a meeting and an agreement to be together. I don't want a cyber or online relationship.
So, when I said I was uncomfortable, he disappeared. I trust my gut so while it's disappointing, I say "good riddance".
What do Doms expect when chatting? How do you determine, while chatting online or on the phone before meeting, if a sub is sincere in her desire to submit without getting heavily into sexual discussion? This has happened to me...a lot. I'd love to hear any thoughts from the Doms here.

Thanks.

Honesty, and for the love of FUCK, messages that are more than 2 lines long without spelling errors and everything undercased!

(in reply to smartsub10)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: what do you expect when chatting with a potential sub? - 8/25/2010 7:59:31 AM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

I expect intelligent conversation the first time.

It can flow from there but if she isnt intelligent, I dont want her.

(in reply to SomoneReal)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: what do you expect when chatting with a potential sub? - 8/25/2010 2:05:10 PM

masterlink65

Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline

i expect a sub to display a certain behavior that would indicate to me that this person is actually a sub. this may be something as simple as calling me sir, asking permission to approach, asking permission , so on , so on. i would expect to get , getting to know you's out of the way after some chatting and hopefully phone. would i expect total submission by second chat? NO

submission has nothing to do with sex, or gender. maybe that is where the problem is. a man gets sexually dominant, because you equate submission with sex? so why shouldnt the dom?

(in reply to smartsub10)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: what do you expect when chatting with a potential sub? - 8/28/2010 9:05:48 AM

capthook55

Posts: 10
Joined: 8/19/2008
Status: offline

All I can tell you is what I expect
When I ask a question I expect an answer, even if it's "It's a little early"
As for aking sexually explicid questions...I feel her out (no pun intended). I start with general things but within a couple days I get more spicific. The reason is when we meet I want to know what she's up for. I usually figure 1-2 weeks from the time we start until our first session.

(in reply to wandersalone)

Profile

Post #: 44