unwanted submissive seeking to serve

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michaelGA -> unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 5:12:48 PM)
what does a sub do when they long to serve, yet are unwanted and disliked? not ready to call it quits...not yet anyway. still hold a little hope that someone would care to train me and show me what it means to serve in the real world. (let the negative rants begin)

AAkasha -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 5:19:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA what does a sub do when they long to serve, yet are unwanted and disliked? not ready to call it quits...not yet anyway. still hold a little hope that someone would care to train me and show me what it means to serve in the real world. (let the negative rants begin) A great way to feel of service and also enrich your social skills is by volunteering. As an added bonus and free of charge you'll find your heart filled with love and soon forget your problems. You also might meet lifelong friends and who knows -- a femdom might be lurking and appreciate your nature. Akasha

pissdoll -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 5:23:15 PM)
i think we all go through periods of time (be them long or short) where we feel unwanted or disliked in one way or another. if you have found yourself alone, now is a great time to look at yourself. what are your best qualities? what do you think you could work on? take some steps to change a few things in your life FOR YOU. you might find yourself happier. happy people are attractive. good luck!

Proprietrix -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 5:32:27 PM)
You may want to consider what it is that makes you feel unwanted and disliked. I'm sure not everyone you've ever met has been like "Hey. You're a very unwantable and dislikeable person." But if you start focusing on what feels bad, others (including Dommes) will notice that you focus on negativity. Find your good qualities and accentuate them. Find your poor qualities and work on improving them. If submission is in your heart, it'll be there when the right Mistress comes along. Keep the ad out there. Keep an eye open. Attend your local groups if they're worthwhile. And in the meantime, work on making yourself the best person you can be.

crouchingtigress -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 5:36:50 PM)
I feel like being honest here, I may get flamed and you might get hurt but I honestly dont wish you to, I only write from the heart. I like you, you seem intelligent and and have a good sense of humor, but I would hesitate having you in my service because you seem very argumentative and highly sensitive which translates to me as a Domme as an awful lot of extra work, hand holding, egg shell walking, even most likely begrudgingly placating or fighting.....leading to dismissal. I would make the suggestion to look at those qualities which I think stem from maybe a little shaky self esteem and see if you could maybe work on that a little with a kink friendly therapist and then hopefully you will find that the ache in your heart to serve is filled, and the added bonus will be that you become a lot more desirable in the prosess...

michaelGA -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 5:55:37 PM)
as all of my traininig and experience has been thus far online only, im that respect, i have been nothing if not obedient and required no special treatment or attention...i served one Mistress online for over 2 years, one of which was (supposedly) a real life collar.

AAkasha -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 5:58:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA as all of my traininig and experience has been thus far online only, im that respect, i have been nothing if not obedient and required no special treatment or attention...i served one Mistress online for over 2 years, one of which was (supposedly) a real life collar. To a lot of people, online training doesn't really mean anything. Other people have pointed out that a lot of your problems might be solved with a more positive. Why do you refuse to consider things like helping others to lift your spirits? Especially if you have a desire to serve. Akasha

michaelGA -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 6:02:40 PM)
there's vanilla service...which i have had too much exposure to...and D/s service, which is what i seek...it doesn't take much skill to do the former.

LadyMorgynn -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 6:05:11 PM)
No negative rant to say here. The fact is, there will always be someone who doesn't want you or who dislikes you, you could be the most wonderful person in the world. I mean, they crucified Jesus, right? See? You're in good company <g> No really. Just because you are not finding the Mistress you see so far, does not mean she's not out there. It just means that you haven't run into her yet. These things take TIME, and there's no set boundaries that say "x" is too long or "y" is too short a time. Some people get lucky and find who they are looking for quickly. Some of those people also repent at leisure. Others take more time, and it can still be hit or miss. Oh dear, I didn't mean to depress you more! Just relax and hang in there. Yes, it's hard. But if you walk away, then what? You'll miss her when she does show up! I mean... buying a lottery ticket doesn't guarantee that you'll win the lottery. But NOT buying the ticket, does guarantee that you WON'T win it! quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA what does a sub do when they long to serve, yet are unwanted and disliked? not ready to call it quits...not yet anyway. still hold a little hope that someone would care to train me and show me what it means to serve in the real world. (let the negative rants begin)

JohnWarren -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 6:08:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA what does a sub do when they long to serve, yet are unwanted and disliked? not ready to call it quits...not yet anyway. still hold a little hope that someone would care to train me and show me what it means to serve in the real world. (let the negative rants begin) A great way to feel of service and also enrich your social skills is by volunteering. As an added bonus and free of charge you'll find your heart filled with love and soon forget your problems. You also might meet lifelong friends and who knows -- a femdom might be lurking and appreciate your nature. Akasha Volunteering is excellent for a dominant also. I recently worked on a local political campaign and I spend several days a week volunteering at the local library. (One benefit is I get to find books I never knew existed. I just finished Somalia on $5 a Day.) It's a wonderful way to give back to the community and to meet a lot of interesting, intelligent people. Another benefit of working local campaigns is one gets to help the politicians while they are still idealistic and honest. With enough help, one of them might climb the ladder and hang on to some of that idealism and honesty simply because they had volunteers instead of having to hire a staff by selling out bit by bit to get the money for salaries.

AAkasha -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 6:15:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA there's vanilla service...which i have had too much exposure to...and D/s service, which is what i seek...it doesn't take much skill to do the former. I'm not talking about vanilla service like helping a friend move their apartment or fixing someone's car. I'm talking about service like volunteering to help people or animals who are not fortunate and have less than you have. This will undoubtedbly change your perspective and make you feel good. You've wrinkled your nose at this suggestion in the past and every time you bring up how much you want to serve and need a better attitude I'll remind you that the best way to improve both is by giving of yourself. I hope others that have volunteered will attest to how much it changed their lives for the better. Akasha

michaelGA -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 6:17:59 PM)
i once volunteered in such a capacity only to have the candidate withdraw from the race. i swore i would never fall for that again. in any case, this is all vanilla service, of which takes little knowledge or dedication to do. what i seek in in the form of D/s service.

AAkasha -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 6:20:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA i once volunteered in such a capacity only to have the candidate withdraw from the race. i swore i would never fall for that again. in any case, this is all vanilla service, of which takes little knowledge or dedication to do. what i seek in in the form of D/s service. What you want is the equivalent of a get rich quick scheme. You want to find out how you can improve yourself while you wait for the opportunity to serve, but are only interested in improvement as it relates to your fantasy. Any suggestions that are not exciting, erotic or involve a femdom in some training capacity will be met with resistance and negativity. Any suggestions regarding how to improve your quality of life, attitude and mental health will be ignored. Do you want help or do you want to remain lonely and keep reposting the same "why can't I find someone to serve" thread every 3 weeks or so? Akasha

LaMalinche -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 6:30:53 PM)
I am an unwanted Switch, does that count? Cheer up Michael. . . you will find your "one." Best, LaMalinche

michaelGA -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 6:31:12 PM)
ok, using your example as a basis of comparison; You say i cannot be a good submissive if i do not volunteer suppose a lesbian sought service, but was told they could not serve if they maintain their choice of women over men. i know this is a stretch, but it is feasible

VvShadowspawnvV -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 6:33:29 PM)
quote: i once volunteered in such a capacity only to have the candidate withdraw from the race. i swore i would never fall for that again. that's just pouting. =P and, who, specifically, doesn't want you or like you? becca

AAkasha -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 6:34:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA ok, using your example as a basis of comparison; You say i cannot be a good submissive if i do not volunteer suppose a lesbian sought service, but was told they could not serve if they maintain their choice of women over men. i know this is a stretch, but it is feasible I never said you cannot be a good submissive if you don't volunteer. I see you on here frequently complaining about not having an outlet for your desire to serve and also needing something to improve your attitude. You also seem to have a lot of free time. It makes sense to use that free time to find a different kind of service that might improve your attitude, thus making you a more desirable partner and friend. It would be nice if you at least gave it a try for a week. Give 8 hours to a homeless shelter or walk dogs that are in kennels all day waiting for adoption. Akasha

CERCKL -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 6:37:23 PM)
quote: quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA i once volunteered in such a capacity only to have the candidate withdraw from the race. i swore i would never fall for that again. in any case, this is all vanilla service, of which takes little knowledge or dedication to do. what i seek in in the form of D/s service. What you want is the equivalent of a get rich quick scheme. You want to find out how you can improve yourself while you wait for the opportunity to serve, but are only interested in improvement as it relates to your fantasy. Any suggestions that are not exciting, erotic or involve a femdom in some training capacity will be met with resistance and negativity. Any suggestions regarding how to improve your quality of life, attitude and mental health will be ignored. Do you want help or do you want to remain lonely and keep reposting the same "why can't I find someone to serve" thread every 3 weeks or so? Akasha MichaelGA...you sound like my bi-polar daughter...man, nothing is EVER her fault and whenever different options are given to her, she finds excuses as to why they won't work. You can come up with several options from several sources (parents, therapists etc) and none of them will work. You don't want to volunteer; you don't want to work on focusing on your aspects, on learning who you are and why someone would want you to serve. Fuck it then. Being miserable isn't mandatory but neither is being happy, being fulfilled... I'll be the 'bad' one here and say it doesn't mean a good goddam to me if you find what you want or not...you have to create the world you live in, not me, not anyone else on these boards, not even the dominant you might end up serving...and from a 'D' position, let me say one thing...it is difficult to choose to accept a sub or slave; there is alot of responsibility as well as care, love, etc...and I, at least, am drawn to those who are strong, aware individuals; yes, they will have areas that they will need help through and prob'ly damaged and need more than I realized to start becoming what I envision; still, it is alot of work, concentration, learning, communication...like any relationship and I am certainly not going to waste my investment. Been there, done that, getting to damned old and tired for that now... Just my two cents, take it for what it's worth; doesn't ring true for you, what the hell... Namaste, C

michaelGA -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 6:39:12 PM)
let's try to keep this in a D/s capacity. any further explaintions on my part regarding this particular direction would only tend to sound like excuses and would belittle the essence of this thread. concider it a hard limit and be done with it, please. thank You for Your participation.

michaelGA -> RE: unwanted submissive seeking to serve (4/20/2006 6:47:37 PM)
without realizing it AAkasha has proved Your point and thus destroyed the spirit of this thread. maybe the Mods will see fit to close this thread before it goes off the grid. i submit that i am still an unworthy submissive and should discontinue my ad.

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