Willingness

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Willingness

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Willingness

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Willingness - 8/20/2010 8:50:44 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

This is something of a second part of a question that I asked on the Mistress board last week. The first part of it was regarding drive by threads. I was going to put this follow up in the same section, but the more that I thought about it, the more I've been leaning toward that the question applies across the board. It is not specific to gender or which side of the kneel a person is on.

The basic concept of the question is what increases your willingness to help, teach, instruct, or assist people new to BDSM? I'm thinking about this in a lot of different ways, so I'm going to expand a bit on what I'm attempting to relate.

When I give a demo, promote an event, or have an elected position in a munch group, I consider this as part of the deal. My willingness to answer questions leading up to and during whatever I'm doing to be part of the job. It's automatic because it's a part of the responsibility that I have accepted. It's just part of the package that I volunteered for.

This changes a bit if I am just a regular attendee of a munch, play party, or an event. Chances are still pretty high that I'll help someone who wants to learn a play technique or something along those lines. The important key in this is that I am still a willing volunteer. It doesn't work as well if I feel that My time is being demanded or there is a responsibility implied that I haven't agreed to. There are a few factors that will make My willingness go up such as personality, approach, disposition, familiarity, and so on of the person asking Me. Sometimes, it can be just a numbers game. If there are five new people at a play party or an event, there really just isn't enough time to help everyone. I suppose this also leads to an additional question. If there are a number of new people, what draws you more to one person than another?

Extending this to an area like the forums, there are even more factors. You lose the face to face element. Often, there is also another element gone. That being self motivation on the part of the person who may want to learn. Some folks on this site, I tend to feel have the patience of saints. They will spend considerable amounts of time explaining anything to anyone who comes along. I admit, I'm not that magnanimous. I'm more the type to do more when it's obvious that folks have done some independent study. I'm old fashioned and I still recommend books to help people gain knowledge in some areas. Again, even if you wanted to answer everything for everyone, it isn't possible due to the time factor involved. That's My long winded way of saying that when the other person's investment goes up, so does My willingness.

I apologize for the length of this original. I'll readily admit that it's not the best one that I've ever written. However, I wanted to use several types of examples to get at what I'm talking about. Also, I want to make it very clear that this is not a save/protect the new people thread. That is a whole different subject entirely.

To reiterate the question, what increases your willingness to help, teach, assist, or instruct those who are new to BDSM?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread