RE: Tributes... (Full Version)

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gooddogbenji -> RE: Tributes... (4/24/2006 5:32:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP

In my opinion, when a Mistress _caters_ to paying subs, it doesn't make her the dom anymore. It makes her a slave to the money that is being offered as tribute. Selectiveness aside, to me it felt like a a vicious cycle.  You get your tribute, then you take the money and use it for more stuff for the dungeon, to get more tribute.. And yes it is all stuff I enjoy using, but I didn't feel the total power exchange as I do with those who serve me without tribute.

Until then,

Mistress NINA


*Clap       Clap     Clap*

Mistress Nina,

I would fly out there and kiss You, but that may be misconstrued.  Absolutely brilliant.

Yours (oh I wish!!!  lol),


benji



Proprietrix -> RE: Tributes... (4/24/2006 5:46:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP
I guess I sound like a hypocrite, and I am sorry I am and was about this, which was why I don't prodomme anymore. Its like a part of me loved doming for the sake of doming and yet I got a twisted rush from getting paid money for it, because I liked that idea that I could actually charge money for having my dungeon cleaned or my feet massaged. 


Nina - I think you and I hold a unique perspective on the whole topic since we both formerly Pro-Dommed and gave it up for moral/ethical reasons. We can clearly see why people can so easily get caught up in that materialistic headspace and start tuning out those who aren't.

I really can see this topic very clearly from both sides of the fence. After having been there, done that, I'm glad I got out of it when I did. When I was Pro-Domming, my friendships quickly dwindled down to clients, and other Pros, but I justified it by making myself believe I was "moving up in society". I was becoming a materialistic person, and those around me could see it so clearly, and I had no clue. I placed value on "things" instead of "people", and justified myself around every corner as if I were providing some *needed* service. Talk about needed services... it is SO much more fulfilling to volunteer for those truly in need... the elderly, at-risk youth, veterans.... and the concept of "what do I get out of it?" doesn't even occur to me. Do I miss the money? Sure! But that loss of money is nothing compared to the fulfillment I have within myself now. Ironically, it's a fulfillment that I *thought* I had then. I can live without floggers. I can't live without friends. True friends, not friends who are my friends because I have this or that, not friends who want to play with me because they bought me and purchased my time. I can live without dungeons. But I can't live without dignity. And what I *thought* was dignity, was really nothing more than a materialistic veil that hid me from reality.

Ok, I'll quit on my tangent.
Just suffice it to say, there are those of us out here who have been on BOTH sides of the fence, and chose the one we are on, because we felt it was the right side to be on.



ScotDom29 -> RE: Tributes... (4/24/2006 6:02:34 PM)

EbonyFetishGoddess

There's a very fine line between someone who receives a voluntary gift - financial or otherwise - and someone who places it as an integral part of a BDSM requirement.  I just find the whole romanticising of a "tribute" distasteful and little different to a woman selling her used panties. 

For me it's all about honesty.  If someone said "I expect a tribute because I want to personally profit from the arrangement", I would consider that something to applaud.  But they never, or very rarely, ever say that.  Instead they write page after page of romantic - but less honest- reasoning.



TeeGO -> RE: Tributes... (4/24/2006 6:03:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix
Ok, I'll quit on my tangent.
Just suffice it to say, there are those of us out here who have been on BOTH sides of the fence, and chose the one we are on, because we felt it was the right side to be on.

Bravo!



MarinaBlack -> RE: Tributes... (4/24/2006 6:37:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ScotDom29

One thing you'll notice about people like Marina is they will always (always) write in length about this.  Basically because it makes it easier to avoid reality.


And one thing we'll notice about men like you is that you will insinuate yourselves into forums where your opinion wasn't even asked for.
This forum is, after all, "Ask a Mistress".
And you are so filled with resentment towards ProDommes that you will take your uninvited attention and communicate your disrespect and lack of social grace directly as a message to a profile that has nothing to do with you.
My profile on the other side is for the purpose of making like-minded friends and forging connections with personal subs.
You are neither and what you did was completely inappropriate.
You have the right to your opinion which is best posted in "Ask a Master" - a forum I do not bother visiting as:
a) I am not a Master and
b) when I do have questions of male doms I have male dom friends to ask.


quote:

The reply to the message posted above went like this.

'A) BDSM is not about sex'
Yes, I'm afraid it is. 
.


You can be as afraid as you need to be, but that is not the case. I do know that male and female dominants often disagree on this.
To me, when you mix BDSM with sex what you end up with is kink, which is certainly lovely, but not pure BDSM for its own sake.
For many - maybe most - FemDommes being in control is about feeling empowered and not horny.
 
 
quote:

 You can wax lyrical until you're blue in the face.  You can paint pretty pictures, write essays, look the other way, talk of inbuilt human needs, servitude, anything.  The heart of BDSM is ...... sexual. I defy anyone to say we don't get off on it.  End of story..
 
That's YOUR story.


quote:

I never said there was anything wrong with being a prostitute. 
 

You didn't have to.

quote:

I I have nothing but respect for prostitutes.  They have the balls and honesty to ask directly for payment for their services.  Changing 'fee' into 'tribute' seems to me to be people like you trying to put yourself above 'prostitute'.
 

And I never said or implied anything about being "above" a prostitute. Ever. I, in fact, DO have much respect for sex workers and count some among my personal friends.

quote:

You then say "Domination and submission are about CONTROL".  Indeed.  I love the BDSM world.  At least, the genuine BDSM world where people indulge because of mutual desire with each other.
 

Ah, but you have fallen into the trap of "my fetishes are better, more true and more signifigant than your fetishes".
My fetish includes tribute - and recall my post where I clarify that for some of us the word "tribute" does not default to payment.
To you, a sub kneeling at your feet no doubt means getting a blowjob. It does not have that meaning for me or any of the FemDommes I associate with. We really are into being treated as Goddesses and understand what it is to be worshipped.
Jesus was gifted with precious herbs, resins and gold - not with a blowjob.
You certainly have the right to your personal opinion, but to tell me I am "wrong" is delusional.
According to Dictionary.com...
worship:
  1. To honor and love as a deity.
  2. To regard with ardent or adoring esteem or devotion

The above do not in any way include sex.
Call me literal, but when someone CHOOSES to worship me, it is not sex I am looking for.

quote:

Have a long look around CollarMe and count the number of women who AREN'T asking for 'tributes'. 


Sure. This is THEIR choice. They are welcome to it. I NEVER said that was WRONG. I encourage people to make and live out their choices providing they do not tread on mine or anyone else's.
You do not and even try to find reason to fault someone for their choice simply because they are not in keeping with your own.

quote:

And when you find some, envy them.  Because they know what BDSM is really all about.  And it's not writing 800 word excuses for trying to gain materialistically from it.

a) I have no reason to envy anyone. Life is good.
b) I make NO excuses or apologies.







ScotDom29 -> RE: Tributes... (4/24/2006 6:44:31 PM)

Actually, that was rather rude so I edited this.  Let me read and reply to your response.



ScotDom29 -> RE: Tributes... (4/24/2006 7:11:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarinaBlack

And one thing we'll notice about men like you is that you will insinuate yourselves into forums where your opinion wasn't even asked for.
This forum is, after all, "Ask a Mistress".


I once watched a movie called "Pretty Woman".  I never realised you had to be pretty or a woman to watch it.  If you would care to tribute me so that you're paying my fees for connecting to the internet, I will certainly allow you to tell me where I may or may not post. 

quote:


And you are so filled with resentment towards ProDommes that you will take your uninvited attention and communicate your disrespect and lack of social grace directly as a message to a profile that has nothing to do with you.


I have no resentment whatsoever towards pro-Dommes.  Take any BDSM membership site and watch how it becomes flooded with women who use it as a hopeful means of personal gain.  Genuine Mistresses whose sole interest is an enjoyment of the lifestyle become practically impossible for submissives to find.
I have a lot of submissive friends who say they don't even go on CollarMe anymore because the moment a woman speaks to them, they're waiting to hear what kind of "tribute" they're going to be asked for. The whole tribute stance is strangling genuine BDSM.

quote:

You can be as afraid as you need to be, but that is not the case. I do know that male and female dominants often disagree on this.
To me, when you mix BDSM with sex what you end up with is kink, which is certainly lovely, but not pure BDSM for its own sake.
For many - maybe most - FemDommes being in control is about feeling empowered and not horny.


Really? So do it for the love of it and not what you can glean.
 
 

quote:

I never said there was anything wrong with being a prostitute. 
 

quote:

You didn't have to.
Why, because you are so presumptious you feel you know what I think?  Interesting.



quote:

And I never said or implied anything about being "above" a prostitute. Ever. I, in fact, DO have much respect for sex workers and count some among my personal friends.

I'll bake a cake.


quote:

Ah, but you have fallen into the trap of "my fetishes are better, more true and more signifigant than your fetishes".
My fetish includes tribute - and recall my post where I clarify that for some of us the word "tribute" does not default to payment.
To you, a sub kneeling at your feet no doubt means getting a blowjob. It does not have that meaning for me or any of the FemDommes I associate with. We really are into being treated as Goddesses and understand what it is to be worshipped.
Jesus was gifted with precious herbs, resins and gold - not with a blowjob.
You certainly have the right to your personal opinion, but to tell me I am "wrong" is delusional.
According to Dictionary.com...
worship:
  1. To honor and love as a deity.
  2. To regard with ardent or adoring esteem or devotion


The above do not in any way include sex.
Call me literal, but when someone CHOOSES to worship me, it is not sex I am looking for.


My absolute point in your own words. 


quote:

And when you find some, envy them.  Because they know what BDSM is really all about.  And it's not writing 800 word excuses for trying to gain materialistically from it.

a) I have no reason to envy anyone. Life is good.
b) I make NO excuses or apologies.


We will probably always differ in opinion on the entire subject, so let's just agree to disagree and move on.  My belief in BDSM is the same as my belief in my friends.  I meet them, go out with them, spend time with them because I enjoy it.  Not because I think "What can I get out of this".

Yours sincerely,
ScotDom29
For and on behalf of The Campaign for Real BDSM.



EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: Tributes... (4/24/2006 7:52:44 PM)

TeeGO

i can definitely appreciate your difference between D/s and SM. we most certainly operate differently.

but i also was refering to men that feel accepting gifts of ANY kind is wrong.. even if a LTR.. i remember where you said you you have no problem gifting if it's under the context of a LTR.  there are many that will argue with you that if you gift your long term mistress.. and she accepts the gifts.. that makes her a whore or a pro domme because she should be doing it because she likes it. as if your sincere heartfelt guilt negates her sincerity in training you.

do you agree?

i didn't say you'd pay for sex from a pro domme, you missed the point. i'm saying some will expect sex, but hold traditional gifts off limits. no where did i say you'd pay a pro domme for sex.. so now you're putting words in my mouth. i used that as an example of how men will still want sex, still be in an LTR with their mistress and STILL feel that gifts will cheapen it. and no where did i say that was you.

let's chalk that up to ill communication. but with that being said, it has been argued here that relationships, even long term ones,  if a womans accept gifts then she's a prostitute, whore, or pro domme.

quote:


Generosity/adoration/desire to please and tribute are two very different things.


that's the same thing that me and several other dommes have been saying all along. but even gifts and lifestyle dommes and pro domme tributes or anyone that accept gifts all got lumped into the pro domme box.. THAT'S what i'm saying is the problem.

gifting someone you serve because you adore them.. that's what we've been saying all along.. how is that making someone a pro domme because she receives gifts that are not demanded?

but guys hear gift, tribute (which are often misused and substituted for one another).. then suddenly everyone that accepts gifts is a whore..

we're arguing two sides of the same coin.



also, of course we're talking about money and power.. it's a tributing thread dear..





EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: Tributes... (4/24/2006 8:01:27 PM)

but how would that be good for business if someone wasn't upfront with what they want?

i don't know how many dommes in sheep's latex that subs run across, but every single legitimate full time pro domme i've ever known demands tribute upfront and doesn't hide it.

neither has any of the other pro dommes and semi pro lifestyle dommes hidden it. sometimes i think guys get a little paranoid. we all get approached by people with ulterior motives.

what if i started getting jaded and treating each slave as if he was a potential fantasizer?

i'd be bitter and putting a whole class of people into a box.

i can see both sides of the fence because i'll never be a full time pro domme, but i have and will entertain accepting tribute from males whom cannot serve me on a lifestyle basis.

but being that semi pros don't live off tributes, i can only relate peripherally with full time pro dommes because for the most part they HAVE to see people they may not want to just because it pays the bills. that's sad. and i'm glad that's my issue. i can be just as discerning with any male i choose for my personal bitches. i'd probably get the fuck outta pro domming too if it had to put food in my mouth and clothes on my ass. i'd be jaded too. but that's not my experience. all of my energy goes into my personal slaves.  shit i haven't had a tributed session since may of last year in berlin.

i entirely agree with you about gifts and having crap sprang on you. but i still see a fair amount of villifying and lumping.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Tributes... (4/24/2006 8:51:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ScotDom29
We will probably always differ in opinion on the entire subject, so let's just agree to disagree and move on.  My belief in BDSM is the same as my belief in my friends.  I meet them, go out with them, spend time with them because I enjoy it.  Not because I think "What can I get out of this".
Yours sincerely,
ScotDom29
For and on behalf of The Campaign for Real BDSM.
Well I want to thank you for coming to enlighten us about real BDSM.  Thank you for campaigning on behalf of all the people who lack the insight and judgement to decide how they want to live their lives, especially those who lack the ability to decide what they will do with their time/bodies/possessions.  [&:] M



Jasmyn -> RE: Tributes... (4/24/2006 9:57:55 PM)

quote:

Yours sincerely,
ScotDom29
For and on behalf of The Campaign for Real BDSM.

 
Ohh look I just saw a cow jump over the moon



darq -> RE: Tributes... (4/24/2006 10:16:24 PM)

*quietly wonders how long its going to take before the term 'semi pro' catches on and starts getting offered as an option for lifestyle orientation*



MarinaBlack -> RE: Tributes... (4/25/2006 12:17:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darq

*quietly wonders how long its going to take before the term 'semi pro' catches on and starts getting offered as an option for lifestyle orientation*


LOL!
A sound observation.
There are more of us all the time.
Being semi-pro (and I was discussing this with another Lady on "the other side") enables us to achieve certain levels of the BDSM experience that would couldn't otherwise.
As full-timers we can't be truely Domme - you depend on your clients for your livelihood, which is not the right place to be as a Domme.
Doing this part-time (so, semi-pro) allows us a certain experience.
I know you do not identify as Domme, but I will try to paint a picture that perhaps you can empathize with. I will tell you about a recent client of mine.
This gentleman found my ad  in DDI. Started emailing me almost a month ago. He's from the US. travels a lot on business and cultivates relationships with the local top ProDommes in the areas he does business.
He NEVER comes to Toronto, but after reading my website he decided to check me out. After some communication I began to doubt him - just seemed too good to be true. My site makes it clear that I am not a "menu Domme" - I have very specific fetishes, will only take clientele I can feel a rapport with and who share my interests. He seemed to be sincerely into EVERYTHING I'm into(except for the permamnet piercings). He wanted an extended session to explore as much as possible with me. He provided me with REFERENCES when I told him I doubted his sincerity. Three of the US' top ProDommes emailed me to confirm his sincerity and assure me I would have a lot of fun with him! Can you believe this?
I asked him how he was with fear - I didn't need another guy crying for his heart medication (yes, this has happened when an older gentleman got a little freaked out at my Leather Executioner look). LOL!
I also knew this question would put his mind in a particular place. It was deliberate. That game had already begun and we hadn't even met.

When I book a session with a gentleman of his apparent caliber (recall he came with references!) I feel I really have room to do nothing less than create a work of interactive performace art. Would you believe I almost went though "stage-fright"? LOL!  I wanted nothing less than perfection.
Really. He was polite, well-read, intelligent, extremely sub and extremely masochistic without being a doormat. He maintained his dignity. This is all very important to me.
He arrived at the door a few minutes early. He brought a huge bouquet of my favourite flowers (that ended up adorning and perfuming my "legit" business for a week after) and seemed appropriately nervous. I love that. Scared, but had the balls to come. Courage. Takes that to play with a Sadist like me.
I played with sensory deprivation a lot so that he did not always know what was coming next. I would occasionally allow him to anticipate what came next as well. Deliberate play with mystery and disclosure. At times I would make him look me right in the eye when I was really hurting him so he could see how much I loved every minute of it - he got it.

He crossed a border to pay me a substantial sum of money to play without safewords with ME. Imagine the rush.

Now, had this been an old friend I was playing with at a fet party the extremety of the rush I had experienced could not have happened.
There's a level of extreme I feel can only be had in a pro-setting. Knowing my playmate's trust is an act of absolute surrender that hasn't come because we've been friends for years, but because I have moved a stranger to take the risk is something.
The setting alone also makes such a difference.
Most of us are not wealthy and cannot afford such an extremely well-equipped space unless there is a professional aspect to play that sub-sidizes (pun intended) the cost of such an environment.
I'm not talking about a living room with a horse and a cross either, but a 3-storey BDSM fun house with more themes and equipment that I have the energy to get into right now.

Yes, money in a captalist society IS power. Money is defintely a factor in my pro-sessions. The more the better, but this is not the ONLY criteria I use to chose a client because as a semi-pro I don't have to. If it was ALL about money, I'd be a criminal lawyer .

That said, I have personal subs as well. I do not expect pay from them, but do expect sacriifce.

I met my sweetheart at a fetish party almost a year ago. He is considerably younger (13 years younger to be exact) and I tried to talk him out of it. He convinced me otherwise.
I collared him within the month, he moved in with me in October and we were married in December. He's lovely and is a wonderful compliment to the Domme that I am. Not a maso at all, but not possessive either (as so many male subs can be). He is thrilled by the fact that he is the personal slave of a Dominatrix who takes both professional and personal subs. He has literally given me EVERYTHING he owns - little does he know I have put aside a fund for his tuition once he is ready for art college.:) He is my slave, but not a pushover at all.

I met my butler in a professional capacity. He came to me as a paying client. Well, this fellow is so exceptional I took him under consideration after just one pro session. He and I have developed a very nice friendship and I am looking forwards to much more - and he can take a hell of a lot of pain. Impressive. So far he has not balked at anything I have brought on and our talks have shown me what a deeply generous and spiritual man he is. He and I will be travelling to OWK to make a movie in October. I am also fascinated by his dynamic with my slave/husband. It's interesting.

Being a semi-pro Domme is an extremely enriching experience. It has enabled me experience a life most would consder fiction. My life really is a work of performance art. Any of the other semi-pros I know don't have "straight jobs" either and are all self-employed in some capacity. We really do have the freedom to be Free Dommes - free to be who and what we are.

I don't know if I managed to fully communicate what I was hoping to. It's kinda like trying to describe a mushroom trip. You really just have to experience it to fully know what I mean, but I hope you caught a piece of the picture.
Most people will only have the chance to read about experiences like mine.
I get to live it, it has not come without sacrifice (thanks to living in a Monotheistic Patriarchy and having to contend with the Forces That Be), but I have over the years decovered many ways to "bend the rules" so that I can live MY life - as a FemDomme.



Beatmehrdr -> RE: Tributes... (4/25/2006 12:25:01 AM)

IMO, when I think of tribute, I think of a ProDom situation.  If a Domme asked me for tribute as a pretext to a R/T meeting, my first thought would be that this is a ProDomme, and not a lifestyle setting, and from that point forward, I would always wonder if she liked me for me, or for what I could bring her re:money, presents, etc.  Right now I've reached a situation where if all I wanted was to get my subbie rocks off, I could pay a ProDomme--and, frankly, it would be cheaper and easier to do so than trying  to meet a non-pro,  date a few times, and see where things go(and if it goes nowhere, start all over again).  No strings, no emotions, just a few moments of subspace and the material compensation at the end.  That isn't good enough for me, not anymore.  W/we all want to be wanted, and need to be needed, and personally , I need to know that W/we could talk, cuddle, and caress as well as have a scene with wild abandon.  The moment tribute, presents, gifts, whatever you wish to call it became expected, that first part, the relationship part, the hard part, would die.  From that point on , I would never know if she wants me or my wallet.  



EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: Tributes... (4/25/2006 12:41:27 AM)

wow.. i'm proud of myself.

i actually refrained..

well, never let it be said that i'm not magnanimous.

i learned that from a post that someone else made on this thread today.

i'll just say this..

offline experience. from now on.. i'm ignoring posts from people whom are not active scene players.





EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: Tributes... (4/25/2006 12:58:23 AM)

Marina..

do like me.. opt to not respond anyone.. i got an email today from a slave asking me.. "why are you bothering trying to state your point? anything you or any other domme will say will be taken otherwise..".. the REAL slaves know what you women mean.

i think he's right.

you know.. i've read some past threads in the last several months before i started posting.

ignorance is bliss..

let them have at it.

i guess i'm 29 and old but i've learned this.. what we say don't make a fuck of difference.. i'm probably the only jackass the reads ALL of the posts before i respond accordingly.

trust me.. they don't care fuck all about what we say. they only have their views and let them have it while we are treated as the Goddesses we are. and they're wondering why they have no slaves.. or have no domme.. and we're living it up with our personal slaves

they lump semi dommes into the same group.. hell.. like ANY of the pro or semi pros have skated around what we expect. . either a man does it or doesn't.. but i've never had an accepted slave say.. oh i wont gift you... well then get the fuck on.. you gift the other women in your life but not someone that knows MORE about you than ANY other woman in your life?

who else knows they like to lick/sniff panties....

who else knows ALL the shit that their LTR dommes does?

stupid fucking them.. when they get offline long enough to experience REAL heavy play.. not this online net collar shit.. they'll see the real deal.. then we can debate.. until then.. sorry.. no time for net fuckers and fantasy collar online net bastards..

i prefer real play..

the horse is dead.. trust me.. those whom have read your posts have responded to your email personally just like they've done me.. and they've ALL been positive.. i am willing to BET you got as many emails as i have saying that they respect your view.

even the originator of this post and i have contacted and spoken online off of CM.. his original question was..  pretty much.. *what do i do when a domme demands tribute up front?".. i told him pretty much to RUN.. no HEARTFELT domme will demand tribute up front..lol how much time would i have spent with him online IMing if i didn't like him or the way he thinks?

of ALL the posts i've made.. regarding this and other posts i've made.. i've only have ONE adverse email from some retard and his merry band of idiots that he said were pretty much backing him up.. he said "i spoke to other experienced dominants and they said you were fake"..lol when anyone can google ebony fetish goddess and see how fake i am.. see how many articles i've wrtitten but not brag about.. my website isn't part of my *signature*.. i don't have a member site (but i have a site FULL of pics of my follies).. etc. if i'm SUCH a pro domme.. honestly.. how good for business would it be to hide that shit? when i get TONS of men offering me pro sessions each DAY?

.. that i turn down?

they dont realize this shit.. they have small minds.. and small minds think small thoughts.

like another domme emailed me today and said. (to paraphrase)

"let the unknowing have at it.. we know better and we're served better.. we dont sit and think if somone is out of our league.. we don't sit and wonder if we're whores we understand Goddess worship and caring properly for their dominant.. we don't demand anything, but if someone offers it.. i'm sure as hell not going to turn it down."

that's a direct email.. but i left off her name.. with her permission.

at the end of the day we live the life others wish they were.. we're secure in our obscure fetish/domination. i got an email from another domme asking me if we were sort of the minority in with our slave training in regards to what we expect.. chastity or whatever else we demand.

yup.. and guess what?

we make no qualms.. sorry for the dommes content in living in bum fuck egypt with no toys and no gear and  a hairbrush thinking she's raising hell with her *own brand of dominance*.. yeah that's all cute when it's all said and done.. we know what we expect.. we get it.. no on complains.. so let these net players have at it.

personally.. i've shot the horse instead of kicking it to death

hell read their goddamn profiles!.
shit.

seriously.. when have YOU ever put up a profile saying you only want online pay?

i'm assuming here.. but i doubt that would fulfill you.. i can see that just from your posts alone.

i can MEET people online.. interACT with them online.. but people with profiles and they're here for MONTHS or YEARS and still have no real time experience? there is a reason for that.

please.. chalk it up to internet bullshit dogma

hey.. how about this..

>>>BANG<<

i shot the horse.. he's done.. no since in kicking him to death.

i'm personally done with trying to show the sheeple another way to think.. if you knew like me.. you'd let the monochromatics have at it.. they will NEVER fathom it.. they will toss out umpteen non sequiters that have fuck all to do with what we're REALLY talking about.. argue it until the cows come home.. then we find out end of the day some of them ACTUALLY agree with the premises we said all along? ie.. i never said gifting your mistress in a LTR is a tribute.. oh geeze.. tribute.. gifting.. you name it.. the moronic among us all lumped it together.

then you got the online fucktwats that know fuck all about real life BDSM yet they read a couple of website and hell they get it all.. i just glaze over.. read the majority of profiles.. either they are LOOKING for dommes.. or LOOKing for slaves..

wonder why.



yet they wonder WHY they're all alone..

personally i'm done on this thread.. and i'm moving to other ones that actually appreciate the input of EXPERIENCED dommes.

i've read threads from self professed ex pro dommes that dont even know what CUSTOMARY normal fetish arrangements are.

this shit is absurd.. i'm done with the tribute thread.. i could kick my dog until he dies faster than anyone on this thread will *get it*..

i'd rather stop kicking the dead horse and move on



ScotDom29 -> RE: Tributes... (4/25/2006 1:54:08 AM)

quote:


Well I want to thank you for coming to enlighten us about real BDSM.  Thank you for campaigning on behalf of all the people who lack the insight and judgement to decide how they want to live their lives, especially those who lack the ability to decide what they will do with their time/bodies/possessions.  [&:] M


You're more than welcome.  I like to call a spade a spade.

And a whore a whore.



TeeGO -> RE: Tributes... (4/25/2006 3:10:23 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyFtshGoddess

TeeGO

i can definitely appreciate your difference between D/s and SM. we most certainly operate differently.

...let's chalk that up to ill communication.

I can go along with that.

As for ProDomming and tribute, I have nothing against that. My former Domme dabbled in that a bit. She may not be a true Domme, but she is a proficient Top. I personally have no desire to seek out a pro, but maybe six months from now I'll feel different, although I doubt it.

Is a woman receiving "gifts" from a man wrong? (That was your question to me that I've re-written a bit.) My answer is of course no, it's the most natural thing in the world.

But the difference from my view is that the one demanding tribute is not going to interest me so I move along. One seeking a relationship will win my heart and thus everything in my life would belong to her. (Other than my previous responsibilities.)

Just so there is no misunderstanding. I think the life you live, the life your slaves live, is great for all of you and I wish you nothing but the best.



NINASHARP -> RE: Tributes... (4/25/2006 3:30:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarinaBlack

quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP


In my opinion, when a Mistress _caters_ to paying subs, it doesn't make her the dom anymore. It makes her a slave to the money that is being offered as tribute.


Here you are referring to receiving payment for pro service.
Receiving payment for pro service does not by default mean the Domina in question is "catering" to paying subs.
I only do ProDomme work on a part-time basis to ensure I don't "need" the money for my livelihood. I have a carefully worded site that is designed specifically to attact masosubs who are into what I"m into and I still have to turn down about 75% of the applicants ( a somewhat smaller percentage than the number of personal sub applicants I have to turn down here because no one is teaching men to read).
The way I have designed the way I work as a ProDomme ensures I remain the Domme - and I wouldn't have it any other way. I suspect I am not the only Domina doing this.

There seems to be an attitude among many that ProDome  and TrueDomme are mututally exclusive concepts.
There's a group of FemDommes I do the coffee thing with in my neighbourhood - every meeting should be documented really.:) ALL of us have at least one personal sub.
Out of 5 of us, 2 aren't pros, but one used to be and is now saying that she misses the work when we share our stories.
I've a feeling she'll be back at it by fall.:)


First I'm sorry if I offended you.  I was refering to and replying to the last poster's comment using the word cater. 



NINASHARP -> RE: Tributes... (4/25/2006 3:49:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP
I guess I sound like a hypocrite, and I am sorry I am and was about this, which was why I don't prodomme anymore. Its like a part of me loved doming for the sake of doming and yet I got a twisted rush from getting paid money for it, because I liked that idea that I could actually charge money for having my dungeon cleaned or my feet massaged. 


Nina - I think you and I hold a unique perspective on the whole topic since we both formerly Pro-Dommed and gave it up for moral/ethical reasons. We can clearly see why people can so easily get caught up in that materialistic headspace and start tuning out those who aren't.

I really can see this topic very clearly from both sides of the fence. After having been there, done that, I'm glad I got out of it when I did. When I was Pro-Domming, my friendships quickly dwindled down to clients, and other Pros, but I justified it by making myself believe I was "moving up in society". I was becoming a materialistic person, and those around me could see it so clearly, and I had no clue. I placed value on "things" instead of "people", and justified myself around every corner as if I were providing some *needed* service. Talk about needed services... it is SO much more fulfilling to volunteer for those truly in need... the elderly, at-risk youth, veterans.... and the concept of "what do I get out of it?" doesn't even occur to me. Do I miss the money? Sure! But that loss of money is nothing compared to the fulfillment I have within myself now. Ironically, it's a fulfillment that I *thought* I had then. I can live without floggers. I can't live without friends. True friends, not friends who are my friends because I have this or that, not friends who want to play with me because they bought me and purchased my time. I can live without dungeons. But I can't live without dignity. And what I *thought* was dignity, was really nothing more than a materialistic veil that hid me from reality.

Ok, I'll quit on my tangent.
Just suffice it to say, there are those of us out here who have been on BOTH sides of the fence, and chose the one we are on, because we felt it was the right side to be on.


Thank you, Proprietrix, I think you are brutual honest and I find it refreshing. I couldn't of said it any better myself especially when describing the dignity and a materialistic veil. I can't say I don't miss the money, though I support myself fine now without it.  I stopped the prodomme thing, almost 4 years ago. I remain in contact with a few and don't ask for a tribute anymore from those I do play with.. I can completely understand why those who do prodomme ask for a tribute, in a monetary sense or other wise. What I don't understand is why so many view it as prostitution.




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