LadyHugs -> RE: Tributes... (4/25/2006 8:59:42 AM)
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Dear obedienz, Ladies and Gentlemen; Tributes in my day, which is old fashioned, meant to give praise and respects to someone, as a recognition, compliment and honor, however--never a financial donation. However, some dominants seem to feel that they can get away with this noun “Tribute” as to pay a tax, fee, payment and such. I find the people who ask for a fee are those who just want the money and a tax free income that can’t be traced and, as some already have expressed, nothing different than a McDomme; pay for a menu of services and don’t let the door hit you in the bum. In addition, I find a lot of them to be college age, some are just lazy and sex and kink is an additional income. Most can’t flog themselves out of a wet paper bag. But, as long as there are men/women who pay financial tributes to McDom/McDommes; we will find the community of serious individuals diluted more. It has increasingly become diluted since standards were lowered, protocols not enforced, everybody doing their own thing and thinking it doesn’t affect them it won’t effect the community at large. I am also seeing personally, that some regions in southeast Virginia, a “Domme” group with male submissive types must ‘pay’ to serve at a luncheon. Some of these men travel five hours to get there but, the founder is just looking for taking advantage of these lads. She wanted to ride other people’s horses because she didn’t want to pay a riding stable or buy her own horse. She wants other things but, again -- she isn’t skilled, has less than 3 years self taught experience but, she is successful about wrecking every submissive man who has a spine. Dommes in her group walk on egg shells and as submissive as the men. Men who submit that have a spine and speak up are subjected to false allegations. I also have found if any dominant woman speaks up they are subjected to false allegations as well. So, the fee to play--regardless if it is cash, credit, barter or exchanges of services outside a genuine D/s or M/s relationship to me is nothing short of prostitution. There is a similar group in Washington, DC. The group is a part of a “chain of groups” that also doesn’t practice what they preach and just want free services from men and or women, under the guise of M/s and D/s. Pro-Dominants have their places as do Pro-submissive types. However, I am of the thought that I love this lifestyle for all it’s positives it can offer between well informed adults and consent in such. I am free, even my written works have been free; my presentations, demonstrations and mentoring has been free. So are my hugs and affections. I just wish that like minded dominants would not have to carry a label of amateur because we are not “professional.” Many are very “professional” but do not hire themselves and or their premises (dungeons) for common use. In addition, we don’t blatantly take advantage of people but, make behavior modifications and attitude adjustments. It is very hard to “police” ourselves as there is so many styles and varieties of how women dominant individuals. We all come from different places, exposed to what we have had available. However, most do try to keep things how it can/should be in our own ways. However, we will never see things return to the strict set standards of the past that separated us from the serious cases of kinky sex and play for a fee, gamers, players and those who take advantage of others, such as “you aren’t submissive unless you do this and that,” and or “you aren’t dominant if you do this or that” sorts. My concern is for innocent novices being wrecked for life or think that these behaviors are normal in the larger M/s and or D/s community. In summary, in my day and in my circles; tributes come from the heart not the purse. Respectfully submitted, Lady Hugs
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