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When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/22/2010 10:52:11 PM

AquaticSub

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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I've recently started taking martial arts classes at a dojo that I adore. However, to be allowed to participate ALL jewelry must come off. Wedding rings are only allowed if they are flat and the instructor greatly prefers that they are removed. Neck jewelry is not an option no matter what it is. (For the other martial arts junkies, I know that not all styles/dojos are as strict on that policy however this is, by leaps and bounds, the best fit for me overall.

)

So before every class I slide off my watch, wedding ring, engagement ring and collar. And sometimes I get curious about how other couples in this lifestyle would handle it. This obviously isn't something that I have to do but in order to do it, they have to come off.

Val and I are pretty relaxed in terms of our relationship symbols so this isn't a problem for us. I'm allowed to switch out my collar for other necklaces if I feel it suits better. Something I rarely do and he trusts my judgement on. Honestly the weirdest part is removing my wedding band since I'd never taken it off before starting these classes.

Humor me if you will. Since our protocol is so relaxed, I'm curious about those with stricter protocols. If you were a sub/slave/pet who very much wanted to take part in an activity that, with absolutely with no exceptions, required the removal of your collar or other symbol, would you forgo the activity? Would it depend on the activity itself? For an example: A self-defense class vs. a pottery class.

What about from the owner side of things? For us, Valyraen prefers me being able to defend myself to wearing the collar 24/7/365 so it was never a question for us. Of course if it were a different activity, he could well feel differently. Would it matter to you what the activity was? Would it matter how badly they wanted to take part or how useful it could be?

As always, looking forward to the responses!

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 8/22/2010 11:35:17 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

Post #: 1

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/22/2010 11:33:34 PM

HisEvelyn

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Joined: 1/21/2010
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Master and I are fairly protocol-oriented. I always wear my collar when I am able to do so, and in public I call him Sir rather than his name.

However, when it comes down to activities that could enrich my life in some way, but would require the removal of my collar to participate? I strongly believe that my Master would prefer to have his girl enlightening and expanding her mind and life experience instead of forgoing such opportunity for the sake of protocol. A collar is a wonderful and powerful expression of my submission and devotion to him, but he is with me, not the collar. And the more life experience I acquire, the more fascinating I am to him! Though I'm positive he'd want that collar right back around my neck the MOMENT said activity was done! :)

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 2

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/23/2010 1:47:37 AM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
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~FR~
I always, absolutely always, 24/7 wear my collar(it's a specific necklace w/ an engraved heart) 24/7 and it never comes off. It never will come off either, regardless of an activity. I've actually forgone going to family baby showers because my sister insisted that it come off.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

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"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/23/2010 2:14:09 AM

EastbourneCouple

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Joined: 6/18/2010
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I insist that my slave wears her collar 24/7 unless it is impractical or inadvisable to do so. If she is unsure, she must ask.

Generally in public is fine, but sometimes discretion is required, so in these circumstances she wears a more discrete chain.

She may take it off in the bath or shower, so that it doesn't get damaged and to allow her to wash her neck.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 4

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/23/2010 6:04:34 AM

DomImus

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Joined: 3/17/2009
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This is why I do not like full time collars. The symbol becomes more important than that which it is meant to symbolize.

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"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 5

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/23/2010 6:24:23 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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In our dynamic, the only time that clip is allowed to remove his own collar is in situations where it must come off and I am not present. It's only happened a few times in almost three years. The airport has been one example. Since he is a nurse, we've always been aware that there are some situations where it may have to come off for his safety.

Something like the class you are taking wouldn't be an issue for Me. The collar on his neck is never more important than the person wearing it. If it was something like a pottery, rather than a self defense class, I'd probably be curious to know why it would have to come off. More than likely, I'd still encourage clip to participate, even if the removal of his collar temporarily would be one of the conditions.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 6

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/23/2010 6:28:48 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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Aqua, I appreciate your question. Symbols, while important, have only one purpose - to be a physical manifestation of something emotional / intellectual. They are only as important as we make them. While pondering your question, I realized that the sig line that I've been sporting would address this.

They can cut down all the flowers, but they can not stop the spring.

I would not want to be with someone who considered a "thing" more important than what it symbolizes. Don't get me wrong. I hold great fondness for a few items that I take with me. I would be disappointed if they were to disappear or be taken. They are so precious to me that I hold them in a little bag of wonders and have for about ten+ years. However, they are merely physical reminders of the Treasure. The Treasure is what is important.

Best to you and yours,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 7

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/23/2010 6:29:47 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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~FR~ LadyP.. mailcall

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Post #: 8

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/23/2010 7:25:57 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
If you were a sub/slave/pet who very much wanted to take part in an activity that, with absolutely with no exceptions, required the removal of your collar or other symbol, would you forgo the activity? Would it depend on the activity itself? For an example: A self-defense class vs. a pottery class.

It would not be my decisions; it would be his. If I wanted to do an activity that required me to remove my ring or my necklace, then I would ask permission to give him information and ask a question. If I have permission, then I will give him the information about what is required, ask if I can participate and then he would decide whether I would do it or not.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 9

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/23/2010 8:28:28 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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I do a form of gymnastics where it would be very unsafe to get hung up by the neck, so that was a concern if my previous Master had decided to have me wear a locking or 24/7 collar. I don't think a collar would be likely to need to be removed for a pottery class, but a wedding ring might get damaged by the clay and need to come off to protect it. Anyway, it's a concern I'd address with someone before entering a power exchange relationship with them.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 10

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/23/2010 9:04:41 AM

MercTech

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Joined: 7/4/2006
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This sounds to me a situation where safety trumps protocol.
Jewelry and contact sports really don't go together. Rings and rotating machinery don't go together. It is too easy to get a finger amputated when a ring gets caught in the works. I've even seen a major injury happen when a wedding ring snagged on a bolt protruding from a ladder as the fellow was climbing down. One finger will not support the weight of a grown man.

Safe, Sane, and Consensual should include personal safety in mundane situations.

Stefan

(in reply to Andalusite)

Post #: 11

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/23/2010 10:19:11 AM

subsfaith

Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline

It is just a symbol to us, it isn't a reflection of who we are or what we do or have together.

There have been times I have taken my tokens off, no biggie here. When you have to, you have to. Then when you are finished, you put it back on.

(in reply to MercTech)

Post #: 12

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/23/2010 11:32:52 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

~FR~
I always, absolutely always, 24/7 wear my collar(it's a specific necklace w/ an engraved heart) 24/7 and it never comes off. It never will come off either, regardless of an activity. I've actually forgone going to family baby showers because my sister insisted that it come off.

~sweetsub~

I really do respect your commitment to your D, and your collar. If I were the collaring kind of Dom (which as it happens I'm not) and I was lucky enough to have a sub as committed as you, I would order her to remove it temporarily in order to attend her sister's baby shower.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 13

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/23/2010 11:34:40 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

In our dynamic, the only time that clip is allowed to remove his own collar is in situations where it must come off and I am not present. It's only happened a few times in almost three years. The airport has been one example. Since he is a nurse, we've always been aware that there are some situations where it may have to come off for his safety.

Something like the class you are taking wouldn't be an issue for Me. The collar on his neck is never more important than the person wearing it. If it was something like a pottery, rather than a self defense class, I'd probably be curious to know why it would have to come off. More than likely, I'd still encourage clip to participate, even if the removal of his collar temporarily would be one of the conditions.

Quoted for quality

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 14

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/23/2010 1:29:49 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
If you were a sub/slave/pet who very much wanted to take part in an activity that, with absolutely with no exceptions, required the removal of your collar or other symbol, would you forgo the activity? Would it depend on the activity itself? For an example: A self-defense class vs. a pottery class.

It would not be my decisions; it would be his. If I wanted to do an activity that required me to remove my ring or my necklace, then I would ask permission to give him information and ask a question. If I have permission, then I will give him the information about what is required, ask if I can participate and then he would decide whether I would do it or not.

Knight's Kyra

Could having to remove the symbols affect your overall interest in participating? Not that you would be making the decision but simply a "Eh... I'd like to do it but I'd rather not remove them so I don't really feel like it".

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 15

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/23/2010 9:43:41 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

as my Mistress has stated there are times that my collar must come off like working near a MRI or assisting in surgery ao at times the airport scanner. the collar is a symbol of the commitment and it having to be off for a safty issue is more important .

_____________________________

proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 16

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/23/2010 10:12:17 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

We're high protocol so we're pretty relaxed about such things. I have a bracelet I wear of our committment. There are times I have to take it off so I don't destroy it or it would get in the way. I just make sure it goes back on as soon as I can. No big deal really.

I love my bracelet and it feels funny when it's not on but it's not a requirement for me to be reminded of who and what I am to him.

(in reply to LPslittleclip)

Post #: 17

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/23/2010 11:52:47 PM

texangael

Posts: 167
Joined: 12/14/2009
Status: offline

Protocols are fine and dandy things to have in a relationship, but they had best bend to accommodate the outside world, because the outside world is not going to bend to accommodate relationship protocols.

_____________________________

"Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no Try."
Corny movie cliche that just happens to be true.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 18

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/24/2010 12:08:28 AM

HisEvelyn

Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline

I actually asked my Master about this. He read my response up above and told me I was exactly right in my assessment of what he would prefer in a situation like this. The collar is important, and he wants me in it as much as possible. But if it must come off for something that would be enjoyable or enriching for me, then it comes off. I am his slave regardless. But he did laugh and agree that as soon as the class is over, the collar goes RIGHT back on. :) Which is how I prefer it as well. I'll take it off if I have to for an activity, but I always feel more secure when it's back on.

(in reply to texangael)

Post #: 19

RE: When the symbols *have* to come off - 8/24/2010 2:27:51 AM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
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i wear a ring and a necklace as symbols recently and to have the ring resized and felt naked till i go tit back even when naked i felt naked.

if i have to remove them i do and put them back when i can, i dont have to ask master as he knows i would only if i needed to and he knows i hate taking them of anyway and my dislike for taking them of is stronger than his want for me to wear them. i lost my ring in the house couldnt find it anywhere for a while and i was so upset he just said its only a symbol and can get somthing else dont worry. however, he knows i will worry just who i am.

(in reply to HisEvelyn)

Post #: 20

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