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RE: Deal Breakers - 9/9/2010 1:26:14 AM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
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A word of warning on all of these 'deal breakers' - take them with a grain of salt. Apologies for my blatant misogyny in advance - most women simply do not know what their own deal breakers are. The ones they think will be endgame, such as lying, cheating, and eating your own mucus, seem to have little affect in the long run. Lines like this

quote:

ORIGINAL: WaywardsPet

I was too stupid to get out of those relationships so I guess they weren't exactly deal breakers


Are far too common and too true to be ignored. Warning: dangerous curves ahead. It's enough to make a body sympathize with the middle eastern habit of putting their women under lock and key.

The real dealbreaker with free-range Westernized women is if you conform to their expectations. Beyond a certain minimum standard of positive living, if you are constantly turning left when they think you'll turn right, then you own them; they won't leave no matter how much they 'hate' about you. Sometimes they won't even leave if you kick them out and change the locks. It practically never fails; they're yours for exactly as long as you can keep them guessing (plus a little bit of padding time, say 20-30% boredom allowance). The question is, are they worth the effort? Some of them are; but only a rare few.

Still, can't be too much of an ass, because there are lesser penalties for blatant mucus eating. It pays to lay a good foundation; if only for your own personal quality of life. It's just that if you don't play nice with women, they're still helpless to resist unless you've left cracks in your game to slip through. Other 'dealbreakers' regardless.

Won't stop her friends from kicking the living shit out of you if you're too much a dick, though. There's a whole mosaic of social and societal factors to keep in mind, in fact. Which is why wimps and mentally lazier men can still compete.


_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to WaywardsPet)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/9/2010 7:38:46 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WaywardsPet
 I love books with a passion that's been with me my entire life. I can't live without them. Several years ago I tried dating a vanilla man that insisted all my books be kept on the closet floor and whined every time I wanted a new book asking why I didn't just reread the old ones.


This I find funny because every time I reread an old book The Man doesn't understand it. He says since I know how the plot goes, how can I enjoy it? I usually ask him how many times he's watched Lethal Weapon and why doesn't he rent a new movie? We've agreed to not understand each other on this.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to WaywardsPet)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/9/2010 9:25:09 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
I wonder, if it is so easy to figure us out and "own" us, why are you still single?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/9/2010 9:38:20 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

A word of warning on all of these 'deal breakers' - take them with a grain of salt. Apologies for my blatant misogyny in advance - most women simply do not know what their own deal breakers are. The ones they think will be endgame, such as lying, cheating, and eating your own mucus, seem to have little affect in the long run. Lines like this

quote:

ORIGINAL: WaywardsPet

I was too stupid to get out of those relationships so I guess they weren't exactly deal breakers


Are far too common and too true to be ignored. Warning: dangerous curves ahead. It's enough to make a body sympathize with the middle eastern habit of putting their women under lock and key.

The real dealbreaker with free-range Westernized women is if you conform to their expectations. Beyond a certain minimum standard of positive living, if you are constantly turning left when they think you'll turn right, then you own them; they won't leave no matter how much they 'hate' about you. Sometimes they won't even leave if you kick them out and change the locks. It practically never fails; they're yours for exactly as long as you can keep them guessing (plus a little bit of padding time, say 20-30% boredom allowance). The question is, are they worth the effort? Some of them are; but only a rare few.

Still, can't be too much of an ass, because there are lesser penalties for blatant mucus eating. It pays to lay a good foundation; if only for your own personal quality of life. It's just that if you don't play nice with women, they're still helpless to resist unless you've left cracks in your game to slip through. Other 'dealbreakers' regardless.

Won't stop her friends from kicking the living shit out of you if you're too much a dick, though. There's a whole mosaic of social and societal factors to keep in mind, in fact. Which is why wimps and mentally lazier men can still compete.



Wow. I don't think you apologized enough for the misogyny displaced here. It appears you are so disdainful of the women you have stomped on and whom, from your comments, still want to be with you, that you have painted an entire sex with the same filthy brush.

YOU have no idea why people stay with their partners. Of course, many women AND MEN, stay with partners for the wrong reasons, but you are talking about blatant manipulation, acting like just enough of an asshole to keep them off balance.

Abusive men often say that women love them because they are abusive; and that is bullshit as well.

As for dealbreakers, we all have them and some of us learned what those deal breakers were in the course of the relationships we have had. We also learned to stay away from any of these assholes ever again.

Which is why I applaud your self-disclosure. One more guy for us single gals to ignore.

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/9/2010 9:46:26 AM   
HisEvelyn


Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
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This is why I love you, Red. You took the words right out of my mouth.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/9/2010 10:17:47 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

(in reply to HisEvelyn)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/9/2010 10:25:26 AM   
SorceressJ


Posts: 2968
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline
Testosterone poisoning, girls. It causes brain damage in most of them that they are often unable to think past, even with the wisdom of age. A real pity, because I think perhaps you'll agree that there is a severe shortage of good Men left in the world, even the ones who are spoken for (like mine), who are at least still out there being positive influences instead of just sitting around at the keyboards with their dicks in their hands making lame pronouncements that don't mean anything..

_____________________________

‎Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. <93>)O(

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/11/2010 3:17:27 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
why are you still single?


"Still single" is untrue. "Recently single" is more on the mark. And that's because I choose to be. I know that sounds like a cop-out, but it's true: I have other things going on that exclude personal relationships, for the moment.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I don't think you apologized enough for the misogyny displaced here....women you have stomped on


I wasn't the one doing the stomping, most of the time. I earned my opinion the hard way, by observing the negative of it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Of course, many women AND MEN, stay with partners for the wrong reasons


The differences are profound. The 'wrong reasons' are affected by social and psychological factors dictated by sex that are too often overlooked, to the detriment of all.

Sometimes men and women behave the same way, for the same reasons. But at least as often they don't. Women are not simply men with tits, and men are not simply women with cocks. Thinking otherwise does more harm than good.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

... but you are talking about blatant manipulation, acting like just enough of an asshole to keep them off balance.


I didn't say act like an asshole; I was saying it didn't matter if you acted like an asshole, as long as you keep a woman guessing.

I think you're missing the point, which was: Be awesome, because it makes for a better life. But don't expect it to save a relationship, and don't expect bad behavior to ruin one. I'll bet you've felt trapped in 'bad' relationships before... well, this is why. And I'll bet you've broken up with some decent guys, too, for reasons you couldn't put your finger on.

The man's status as a jackass is too often only an excuse used after the fact, by women who aren't able to express their real reasons for leaving.

If you as a woman can't accept that, then at least accept that's what your friends are often thinking when you're tallying your complaints over a tub of ice cream.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SorceressJ

Testosterone poisoning, girls.


Yeah, that's what it is. You got me. I'm going to go smash things with a bat now, see if it enlightens my worldview.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 9/11/2010 3:40:25 PM >


_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/11/2010 3:31:59 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
I would just say, my deal breakers are the things that I have tossed men aside for, or things that repel me.

For example, no smoker could get close enough to me to me to "own" me. I wouldn't even kiss a smoker... just eeewwww.

Some women will never be owned, and I am one of them

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/11/2010 4:15:07 PM   
fishoutofwater


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/11/2010
Status: offline
the deliberate breaking of hard limits. (has never happened). And threats of breaking hard limits. my hard limits are few and relate to being able to function as an adult in society (going to work, school, peer relationships, relationships with family) and general health (permanent damage to internal organs etc) For this reason, none of my hard limits are temporary. And for the same reason, if someone threatens to break them, I interpret it as a "real life" situation and act accordingly. Nobody wants that

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/11/2010 4:53:13 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SorceressJ
Testosterone poisoning, girls. It causes brain damage in most of them that they are often unable to think past, even with the wisdom of age.

*blinks*... now what's the opposite of misogyny again?

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to SorceressJ)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/11/2010 5:11:19 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
*blinks*... now what's the opposite of misogyny again?


There is none, Jeff.
You just don't worry about it and go to a car show.
Vrooooom.

Seriously though: The opposite of Misogyny is Philogyny.
The corresponding term you are asking for is Misandry. The opposite of that is Philandry.
~T. <= Isn't afraid to use a dictionary!

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/16/2010 10:27:58 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline
Philogyny?

Sounds like a gynecological exam of guys named Phil, in my mind. Which raises many upsetting questions and visuals of a slightly bearded man screaming, "No! Not there! It's COLD!"


_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to Twoshoes)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/16/2010 10:53:14 PM   
OrderAndFlux


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/16/2010
Status: offline
Not all of these are necessarily bad traits.  I tend not to think in terms of normatives or absolute right and wrong.  But some things that disqualify a person from my romantic and sexual interest:

in a relationship
not over an old relationship (not worth the hassle)
Cardinals fan
racial intolerance (including antisemitism)
won't make an effort to get along with my friends
consistently poor grammar skills in writing emails
infidelity
poor communication skills, including the ability to disagree reasonably



(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/17/2010 3:16:58 PM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline
Professional victims...
People that think solving problems is done by complaining loud and long to all that listens until someone fixes the problem to shut them up.
Those that are proud of being ignorant.
People that say they want to get to know you but act like they are getting teeth pulled to find out anything about them.
People who accuse you of lying because you don't include every little thing you do on a daily summary of activities.
Those that trive on high drama.
Self identifying as a "diva". Who wants to deal with a selfish self centered drama queen for any length of time?
Pushing me to make a "promise" when I know damned well I may not be able to deliver.

Stefan

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 75
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