RE: Monogamy Agonistes (Full Version)

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KatyLied -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 8:45:44 PM)

We are free to tear apart your OP and any other comments as we see fit.  It must suck to be your students.



SirJ40 -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 8:46:20 PM)

Wow.. I just had a first-hand experience of second-hand embarrassment for my entire gender.
@"master"pdg, please stop putting words, gender and role biases, and redneck thoughts into my mouth.. I don't agree with you.
Oh.. and I AM  the dominant Polyamorous guy with the pan-sexual Poly sub/wife who is a voyeur and enjoys watching me have sex with other women whenever I feel like it that you wish you were.
Don't hate me because I am and have everything you want... hate me because I think you're an idiot.



masterpdg -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 8:46:41 PM)

studies? This is not the journal of Human Sexuality. It is a collarme.com discussion. what studies would you like conducted?



Firebirdseeking -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 8:47:06 PM)

Its interesting to me that you seem to know what is best for women.  If that doesnt smack of being patronizing, I dont know what does.

Dont you think WE can decide what we need? your assumptions remind me of men who think women cant make decisions about our reproductive rights.



masterpdg -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 8:48:16 PM)

sirj40

Your ad hominem nonsense is meaningless. If ou have something substantive to say, please do.



masterpdg -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 8:49:47 PM)

firebird-

I am talking to women who self identify as submissive. I fully support legal abortion even thought it has nothing to do with anything.



SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 8:49:53 PM)

Well ones that prove your point, your saying no man is monogamous and those that are are minority cases, I have 3 major religions as well as a few billion people to back up my claims that monogamy is the more dominant lifestyle choice.

you have your ass that your talking out of, it doesnt matter that its just collarme, we are just as intelligent as those of any other site, if not more so for seeing you cant back up your claims because they arent as factual as you claim



masterpdg -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 8:57:44 PM)

I NEVER said no man is monogamous. Three major religious, don't be ignorant. Judaism was a polygamous religion, Islam often is and for most of human history monogamy was much less common. But more tot he point if monogamy is the more common choice, why so much unfaithfulness.



LadyPact -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 8:58:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirJ40

Wow.. I just had a first-hand experience of second-hand embarrassment for my entire gender.
@"master"pdg, please stop putting words, gender and role biases, and redneck thoughts into my mouth.. I don't agree with you.
Oh.. and I AM  the dominant Polyamorous guy with the pan-sexual Poly sub/wife who is a voyeur and enjoys watching me have sex with other women whenever I feel like it that you wish you were.
Don't hate me because I am and have everything you want... hate me because I think you're an idiot.


I'd like to echo this sentiment.

Frankly, OP, you came here espousing an opinion on at least two subjects that you later admitted that you know very little about.  One being Dominant women and the other submissive males.  I have to say that I find that rather unusual, considering the number of years in the lifestyle that you boast.  It just screams lack of knowledge as you created what you have formulated in your mind to be true, though it is only based on what you think and not based on the reality of the situation.

If you and your wife have a poly situation that is acceptable in your dynamic, I think that is wonderful.  Though, I have to admit, considering how you laid out your thoughts on those who do not have a primary dynamic, you fail to see that the same applies to you in your lack of acquiring an additional person in your life.

You may know something about your beliefs as they work in your dynamic.  What you fail to see is that not everyone is like you.  This doesn't have to work the same way for everybody who is involved in an authority dynamic.  There is no one true way.  The sooner that you get that, the better off you are going to be.



masterpdg -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 8:58:46 PM)

Stop confusing the hegemonic ideal with how life and history are and have been lived



masterpdg -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 8:59:57 PM)

Not everyone has to be like me. But if you say you belong or want to belong to a person completely, then you have to. Thats is all.



Andalusite -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 9:01:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterpdg
I am realizing how much women generally would rather be lied to.

I don't want someone who will lie to me, but I don't want someone who is honest about being incompatible with me either.  I'd rather hold out for someone who is both compatible and honest.

As to your comment about preferring dominance vs. submission, I am a switch.  I spent 5 years as a Domme, 3 years as a submissive, and 1 year as a slave (three different men).  I enjoyed each of those relationships, and they were fulfilling in different ways.  Elisabella, I believe you're right that there are more dominant men than women, both on this site and in general.  I've seen a lot of comments to that effect.  I don't think that means that the women who do enjoy it are less fulfilled by dominating men than submissive women are by submitting, or men are by dominating women.

I generally prefer not to use "limits" language, since I feel they tend to set up a poor mindset, especially for a D/s relationship.  There are some things that I would find difficult or even physically or emotionally impossible, and some things that I find distasteful but would still be willing and capable of doing.  I try to be up front about things that I've had difficulty with, and my needs and desires.  I would be comfortable in some polyfi or monogamous with room for play relationships, but I do not feel a completely open relationship would be safe or enjoyable for me.  So, if I discover that's what someone wants, I won't attempt to control who he is with.  I just won't be one of those people. [;)]  If I discovered he had cheated on a partner in the past, or in the present, or was a liar about other things, I also would refuse to date him.  If I'd been lied to in order to get me to date him, I'd probably dump him.  Knowing from the start that the whole relationship is based on a lie is much worse than slipping up (even if both involve cheating).



sexyred1 -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 9:05:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: masterpdg

Not everyone has to be like me. But if you say you belong or want to belong to a person completely, then you have to. Thats is all.


If you are a teacher, I am seriously worried about your students.




masterpdg -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 9:07:12 PM)

anda,

I agree someone who cheated should be avoided. Dishonesty is a serious character flaw and particularly corrosive to this lifestyle. Like the man who can't train his wife and looks for a sub on the side. That is a major red flag. He who says I am a dominant man and will expect multiple women to serve me is entirely different (even if most don't get that).



Firebirdseeking -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 9:08:09 PM)

What I really feel like saying is "You're an idiot". 

Do you think that the women, including me, who are disagreeing with you, are NOT submissive?  Is that because we dont agree with your supercillious attitude?

I also notice several dominant women - and men - also disagree with you.  So, this is not about what YOU think a "true" sub is.   



masterpdg -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 9:13:34 PM)

firebird -

Let's just say your submission would be seriously compromised and you might be setting yourself up to be hurt.



Andalusite -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 9:25:43 PM)

I agree that someone who is honest that he needs an open relationship has more honor and integrity than someone who cheats.  I may or may not be compatible with him, though. [;)]  My femsub playpartner is married.  At the time she and I started playing with each other, I was in a M/s relationship.  She, her husband, my Master, and I all met up over coffee and discussed boundaries before she and I played together.  My Master joined us sometimes, but it was usually just the two of us.  I have no ethical problems with her over her being married, and I agree that she isn't cheating, since she is doing this with her husband's knowledge and approval. 

Our interaction is more casual, although we are close friends.  We enjoy going walking, shopping, and on dates together, she tells me what her kids are up to, we've been to each others' homes, and so forth. I'm just starting to look again, and honestly, I want a romantic relationship, not another casual, limited relationship.  So, I would seek someone for monogamy or monogamous with room for play, or possibly a polyfi relationship.  Someone who just wants to fuck anything he can get his hands on isn't a person who I would be compatible with.  I want someone who seeks emotional ties and connection and intimacy.  If he is involved with other people, I want to get to know them and develop emotional ties and caring with them too.

If I dated someone who had incompatible views on monogamy/open relationships/poly/etc., I would be setting myself up to be hurt.  Even if someone is poly, they can still cheat, or lie about other things, if they are dishonorable.  So, I don't see how seeking out compatible people is setting one's self up to be hurt.



SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 9:26:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SirJ40
I AM  the dominant Polyamorous guy with the pan-sexual Poly sub/wife who is a voyeur and enjoys watching me have sex with other women whenever I feel like it that you wish you were.
Don't hate me because I am and have everything you want... hate me because I think you're an idiot.



[sm=applause.gif][sm=goodpost.gif]

You just became my new hero of the day.

Like most of the people who have posted, I found this steaming pile best suited for fertilizing my garden.

Oddly enough, while I am polyamorous and my girl is a slave, I would never engage in an intimate relationship without consulting her and securing her blessing. No more than I would do so without consulting and gaining he blessing of my husband. And, while the decision regarding whether or not to take on another partner is ultimately mine, I would be a piss-poor Mistress if I ignored her feelings on the matter. The idea that my rights as a dominant person (gender is irrelevant here), are somehow restrained or limited by taking her feelings into account is preposterous. Similarly, the idea that a person - male or female - who desires monogamy is somehow less of a slave is absurd.

Oh yes...I'm also one of those peculiar dominant women who is happiest when she's in control and who has no capacity whatsoever for submission.



masterpdg -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 9:32:41 PM)

ninja whatever --

who ever talked about ignoring someone's feelings on the matter? and by saying the choice is ultimately yours, you agree my entire point.



masterpdg -> RE: Monogamy Agonistes (8/28/2010 9:34:48 PM)

anda,

Because the simple fact is given the opportunity, most men will want to at least on occasion be other women and if monogamy is the expectation, that will hurt



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