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Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/29/2010 8:29:38 PM   
cloudniner


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/29/2010
Status: offline 		Here's the thing with me. I don't think anyone I know in daily life would guess that I like to be submissive. I have a job where I have to continually convince other people to do things for me, and I'm very good at it (particularly if the "others" happen to be men). My flirting style involves witty banter and inside jokes, not acting demure. I'm wondering if this is true for any other submissives as well?
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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/29/2010 8:46:37 PM   
sophiesback


Posts: 4039
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Illinois
Status: offline 		Just because one is submissive to their Dom/Master does not mean they are submissive in any of the other aspects of their life. When I was employed I was Management. At home I am The Boss Lady. With my circle of friends, I have heard several times that they would've thought I was the Mistress/Domme rather than the slave.

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/29/2010 8:57:48 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Depends on the situation. In general I admit I'm pretty submissive in my personality. I will always be the one to take a step back since I have no desire to take control or lead. I'm pretty quiet overall and just more of a follower but there are situations where I have to be the one in control, where i have to be more dominant but I can't say that I enjoy it in any way whatsoever.

(in reply to sophiesback)
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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/29/2010 9:01:19 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sophiesback

Just because one is submissive to their Dom/Master does not mean they are submissive in any of the other aspects of their life. When I was employed I was Management. At home I am The Boss Lady. With my circle of friends, I have heard several times that they would've thought I was the Mistress/Domme rather than the slave.

If everyone in your life is telling you that....Hell you may not be..it doesn't mean you have a desire to be the one holding the whips and chains but you may be "inclined by nature" whether it's an appealing thought or not.

I would imagine that if a person is predominately one way or the other..I'd lean to that person being that way as default.

It always boils down to attitude to me. Any of us can call ourselves what we want but is it who we really are. You of course should know yourself better than most but it doesn't necessarily mean you do either.

< Message edited by Icarys -- 8/29/2010 9:04:54 PM >

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/29/2010 9:03:48 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudniner

Here's the thing with me. I don't think anyone I know in daily life would guess that I like to be submissive. I have a job where I have to continually convince other people to do things for me, and I'm very good at it (particularly if the "others" happen to be men). My flirting style involves witty banter and inside jokes, not acting demure. I'm wondering if this is true for any other submissives as well?

I'd say in this day and age..It's vastly the norm whether it's really submissive or not only the person can determine for themselves. Hopefully they are honest with themselves.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to cloudniner)
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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/29/2010 9:36:55 PM   
sophiesback


Posts: 4039
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: sophiesback

Just because one is submissive to their Dom/Master does not mean they are submissive in any of the other aspects of their life. When I was employed I was Management. At home I am The Boss Lady. With my circle of friends, I have heard several times that they would've thought I was the Mistress/Domme rather than the slave.

If everyone in your life is telling you that....Hell you may not be..it doesn't mean you have a desire to be the one holding the whips and chains but you may be "inclined by nature" whether it's an appealing thought or not.

I would imagine that if a person is predominately one way or the other..I'd lean to that person being that way as default.

It always boils down to attitude to me. Any of us can call ourselves what we want but is it who we really are. You of course should know yourself better than most but it doesn't necessarily mean you do either.


Ha Ha I am definitely in the role that suits me!

_____________________________

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30 Fluffy points

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/29/2010 11:15:13 PM   
SubPet715


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/24/2010
From: Brooklyn, NY
Status: offline 		Most of the time I am not submissive, but the desire to submit to a particular person is very strong within me. Throughout the day I may exhibit certain submissive behavior towards very specific people but it is only because I want to please them. The one person I can think of is my boss, she is an older woman, very take charge, has a voice that would convince me to follow her to the ends of the earth. With her I am never anywhere near dominant, I submit to her will and try my very best to do right by her because I want her to be happy with me.

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/30/2010 3:55:39 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: sophiesback

Just because one is submissive to their Dom/Master does not mean they are submissive in any of the other aspects of their life. When I was employed I was Management. At home I am The Boss Lady. With my circle of friends, I have heard several times that they would've thought I was the Mistress/Domme rather than the slave.

If everyone in your life is telling you that....Hell you may not be..it doesn't mean you have a desire to be the one holding the whips and chains but you may be "inclined by nature" whether it's an appealing thought or not.

I would imagine that if a person is predominately one way or the other..I'd lean to that person being that way as default.

It always boils down to attitude to me. Any of us can call ourselves what we want but is it who we really are. You of course should know yourself better than most but it doesn't necessarily mean you do either.


Everyone has sides to their personality and different situations, different people cause the traits to be emphasized. In some work situations, I'm the boss and I get people to do things they might not have done otherwise. I do it well - I suppose you could look at it as serving Val by doing a job to bring home a paycheck. At home, I'm his girl. I do that well to. At least according to him.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Icarys)
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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/30/2010 4:00:25 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudniner

Do you act submissive most of the time?


Only when I preview one of my posts.

Stupid "Submit the post" button.... Come the revolution, one day we Doms will get our own button; one day!

Focus.

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Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/30/2010 4:22:02 AM   
texangael


Posts: 167
Joined: 12/14/2009
Status: offline 		Why would a desire to be good at your job not be a submissive trait?

Being "submissive" is no more and no less than the desire to answer to someone else, just as being "dominant" is no more and no less than the desire to answer for someone else.

A woman who submits to me lives according to the structures I lay out, the values I articulate. I am her king, her arbiter of "right" and "wrong."

Nothing in that precludes her from saying to others "this we must do" in various situations--and I very likely would expect that she say exactly that in those situations.

_____________________________

"Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no Try."
Corny movie cliche that just happens to be true.

(in reply to cloudniner)
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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/30/2010 4:54:57 AM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline 		No, I do not act submissive most of the time. Most of the time I'm assertive, strong, opinionated and generally tend to lead whatever is going on. I'm always surprised by people who think that's strange. OP, you don't need to be questioning your submissiveness - submissive is what you are with the person (or persons) you choose to dominate you, not the whole wide world.

(in reply to texangael)
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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/30/2010 5:18:42 AM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline 		No. I rarely if ever act submissive, even to my man. I defer to him and he is the dominant in our relationship, but even he will tell you I am a very assertive if not sometimes aggressive person. I have worked as a partner in a high end building construction firm (still do) as well as managing his seafood import/export business and both of those are very male oriented so probably it comes from having to manage men for over 15 years, combined with being an extrovert and outgoing since a very young child.

Dominant women can still find happiness in male led relationships where we wish to submit to someone without ever exhibiting so called "submissive" traits. I can only speak from my experience, that is why I use the above example.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/30/2010 5:21:17 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudniner

Do you act submissive most of the time?


Only when I preview one of my posts.

Stupid "Submit the post" button.... Come the revolution, one day we Doms will get our own button; one day!

Focus.


"Dominate that post!"

Yeah, i can just see that button now.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/30/2010 5:25:46 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudniner

Here's the thing with me. I don't think anyone I know in daily life would guess that I like to be submissive. I have a job where I have to continually convince other people to do things for me, and I'm very good at it (particularly if the "others" happen to be men). My flirting style involves witty banter and inside jokes, not acting demure. I'm wondering if this is true for any other submissives as well?


I know many slaves, including myself, who use flirting, teasing and banter as a way of getting "their" way... if allowed. the man in my life may not allow me... cus he knows me well. i can also be forceful when needed, demanding when appropriate, and encouraging most of the time.

the role of sub/slave is when im with the man. like many others, we all wear different hats depending on the situation.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to cloudniner)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/30/2010 7:28:46 AM   
Kadu12


Posts: 22
Joined: 8/12/2010
Status: offline 		I can be whatever I want to be, it's all about choices.

When I pack my life up and head off for months at a time, would I prefer someone to lead the way?? Possibly, but as there isn't that person would I stop at home...definatly not. When I'm offered that elusive role that will require me to use my valuable skills along with  leading and directing will I refuse because it'll take me out of my comfort zone....again definatly not!!!

Submissive is where I'm comfortable, but would I allow opportuniteis to pass me by due to that particular trait in my character...nope, I simply find a way of dealing with uncomfortable situations and make them work.

(in reply to tazzygirl)
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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/30/2010 8:19:55 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I am submissive but i don't act submissive in all areas of my life. If i did that would cause huge problems in my job. I can just see it being submissive with 3 and 4 year olds that would not be a good thing the teacher has to be in control not the children. Even though i am submissive i submit to only one and that of course is my wonderful Master.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Kadu12)
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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/30/2010 1:29:53 PM   
QuirkyAnne


Posts: 268
Joined: 9/17/2008
Status: offline 		In my daily mundane life, I'm completely independent, and have actually had people ask if I WAS a Domme because of how strong my personality is.

_____________________________

Anne


"The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just STUPID."

(in reply to cloudniner)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/30/2010 2:35:29 PM   
peacefulplace


Posts: 157
Joined: 8/22/2010
Status: offline 		Huh. My first thought was that I am not submissive at all outside of my D/s relationship, primarily because I am in charge of a large department where I work. While I generally have good to great working relationships with my subordinates, none of them wants to be called into my office for what they know is a disciplinary reason--for good reason. I do not tolerate people who do not want to do their jobs well. At the same time, though, if I do my job well, then I'm really sort of a "sub" to the company, overall, keeping the employees happy but also in line. Kind of a strange relationship.

With my friends, I am somewhat submissive. I am opinionated, loud, stand up for myself, occasionally refuse to go along with a set of plans, etc, but I enjoy taking care of others and pleasing them, and my friends know and appreciate that tremendously.

_____________________________

If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.
~~Emma Goldman

One thing is clear to me: We, as human beings, must be willing to accept people who are different from ourselves.
~~Barbara Jordan

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/30/2010 2:37:57 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Carol "acts" submissive all the time. But by that I don't mean she goes crawling around drinking out of dog food bowls in vanilla settings. I mean she submits... pretty much to everyone to some degree or another. In my experience, that is by far the exception. Your description of yourself sounds like how a lot of other subs have described themselves.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to cloudniner)
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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/30/2010 8:42:57 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudniner
Here's the thing with me. I don't think anyone I know in daily life would guess that I like to be submissive. I have a job where I have to continually convince other people to do things for me, and I'm very good at it (particularly if the "others" happen to be men). My flirting style involves witty banter and inside jokes, not acting demure. [...]


I know many slaves, including myself, who use flirting, teasing and banter as a way of getting "their" way... if allowed. the man in my life may not allow me... cus he knows me well. i can also be forceful when needed, demanding when appropriate, and encouraging most of the time.


That is just so... awesome!

On a completely unrelated note, my imagination came up with the following fictional dialogue:

Hey, can we...?
Convince me.
(Omitted: Flirting, teasing and banter)
Have I told you recently that you're amazing? But, no, we can't, sorry.
Jerk.
Why, thank you, I wanted to compliment you also.

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 20
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