Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Fair play


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Fair play Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 11:55:30 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

NG, the problem is that you come across so strongly as the opposite that it seems off putting.



Not following...can you expand upon this...so the simple minded can get to grips with it.

Thanking you kindly.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 12:02:44 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

Metaphor Stef. I doubt you've ever seen someone dunk a woman's head in the soup...nor likely to ever see it.

Anyway....it's not a physical violence.....it's more speeding up the eating process.

Whatever you say, tough guy.

~stef



I'd like to stay and engage you in a battle of wits Stef.....but I have a slow painful death awaiting me...and I imagine it will be infinitely more desirable than a reciprocal exchange of niceities with you. All the best Stef.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 12:04:11 PM   
switch2please


Posts: 494
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline 		B grew up 'Western poor'. Single mom, seven kids. Long story and it's not mine to tell.
He enjoys being able to treat friends to dinner or drinks, and I know he does enjoy being able to take me to places I couldn't afford otherwise (while teasing me about the contents of my fridge). He works hard, but he's generous with what he's earned.
I'm from a middle class family, but I wasn't coddled through college. Every family is different.
Mine is a cross between a study in social Darwinism and the trashier version of a reality tv show...

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 12:07:58 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

NG, the problem is that you come across so strongly as the opposite that it seems off putting.



Not following...can you expand upon this...so the simple minded can get to grips with it.

Thanking you kindly.


Absolutely. And perhaps, the way you explain yourself here is not a realistic portrayal of how you conduct yourself in your personal life..... BUT, given your vehemence on the subject it makes you seem like a total grumpy tight ass. In a really icky way.

I totally understand not wanting to be used as a meal ticket. Hell, I am tight with my money in most ways. But seriously, if I invite someone out, I expect to be the hostess and pay. If I cannot afford to pay, I had better reconsider where we are going and what we are going to do. Or, if perhaps I should be going out at all.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 12:08:49 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: barrick

So a woman demands equal pay in the work force but demands to be paid for on a date.

What is your take? A forbidden topic of female privilege? Yet any shape or form of male privilege is an open topic?
Equality should EQUALLY concern both genders, right?



Funny - I don't demand to be paid for on a date. It impresses me and I think it's gentlemanly but I actually paid for most of Val and I's early dates. I was the only one with income.

For first dates, I usually suggest somewhere cheap and prepare to pay my own share. If I know that he can't afford it, I'll offer to pay. It's only if he really wants to go somewhere fancy and expensive then I'll ask him to pay my share since I probably wouldn't be able to afford it. I'd probably do it in the context of "Wow, that's a great place but it's a little pricey for me, what about this *other place*?" and see how he responds.

Honestly, I'm with some of the men here. I don't think men should be required to pay for a woman and I'd think less of a woman who demanded it. I think it's nice and it certainly earns them points in my book but I'd rather enjoy spending time with them than worry about who is getting the check. Valyraen managed to throughly seduce me while I was picking up the checks!

Perhaps it's my generation - we rarely do formal invites out. We just meet at a resturant, no one is the host or hostress. We're simply friends, hanging out and usually each get our own checks. It's also not uncommon for one us to foot the bill for the other because we'd rather pay for them than not have their company. That said... if I ask someone on a date, I make sure I can pay for them. And am pleasently surprised if they pay for themselves and/or me.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 8/30/2010 12:12:08 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to barrick)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 12:29:01 PM   
Nineveh


Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

NG, the problem is that you come across so strongly as the opposite that it seems off putting.

I grew up dirt poor but I am as generous as I can be with others. I would NEVER create a scene at a restaurant, demanding the person I INVITED out, to pay for their own meal. If I couldn't afford to pay for them, I wouldn't have invited them. That is just sickeningly cheap and tacky.



If I invite someone out to a meal (this has generally been friends, as I've said, I really was never one to go on conventional dates) I make sure I have enough money to pay for both me and them.  If someone invites me out I make sure I have enough to pay for me.  Who ends up paying for who depends on a pretty complicated formula based on who makes how much money, who asked who, and some other factors, but it has never been something that I have ever been in doubt about by the time the check comes around.

ETA: If someone invites me out and I don't have enough money to pay for me at the time I make sure to mention this ahead of time.  Usually that means whoever invited me out pays for me.  I've also reassured people that I have enough to cover them when inviting them out if either I know they are not in a good space financially right now or they mention they don't have it.


< Message edited by Nineveh -- 8/30/2010 12:30:18 PM >

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 12:30:49 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

NG, the problem is that you come across so strongly as the opposite that it seems off putting.



Not following...can you expand upon this...so the simple minded can get to grips with it.

Thanking you kindly.


Absolutely. And perhaps, the way you explain yourself here is not a realistic portrayal of how you conduct yourself in your personal life..... BUT, given your vehemence on the subject it makes you seem like a total grumpy tight ass. In a really icky way.

I totally understand not wanting to be used as a meal ticket.



People can draw whatever conclusions they wish LAT.....

Oh and it's nothing to do with being 'used as a meal ticket'.....it's to do with the qualities you appreciate in people.....and one I personally don't appreciate is expecting to be paid for.....suggests a materialistic outlook to me.....and I'd draw the conclusion that you'd never really scratch beneath the surface with that kind of person....it would all be superficial.....

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 12:45:34 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		NG, I never assumed you cared what people thought of you. I am simply giving you my perspective.

I do know that I have dated several delightful women, that I am glad I did pay for their dinner. If they had assumed they had to pay, they might not have had the money, declined the date, and I would not have gotten to know them.

Because what I found beneath the surface was, and still is, a delightful human being.

Your potential loss will definitely be another man's gain.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 2:32:50 PM   
Hippiekinkster


Posts: 5512
Joined: 11/20/2007
From: Liechtenstein
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

Geez, Barrick, who pissed in YOUR wheaties? Do You just not like women in general or what?

~sweetsub~

Mommy issues.

_____________________________

"We are convinced that freedom w/o Socialism is privilege and injustice, and that Socialism w/o freedom is slavery and brutality." Bakunin

“Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we are saved by love.” Reinhold Ne

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 2:53:13 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent


Oh and it's nothing to do with being 'used as a meal ticket'.....it's to do with the qualities you appreciate in people.....and one I personally don't appreciate is expecting to be paid for.....suggests a materialistic outlook to me.....and I'd draw the conclusion that you'd never really scratch beneath the surface with that kind of person....it would all be superficial.....


Just to be clear: you never invite women out?
Or if you do, you are up front about it being a split cheque?

What if she wishes to pay for you?

Do you prefer to dine at home?
Do you expect her to split the cost of the groceries, or if she cooks, do you split the grocery bill with her?

If you go to the pub with your friends, you have never paid his tab... ever?

I have never viewed a lunch out in which I have enjoyed the company of my Master as being something "materialistic".
(Our first meeting was my suggestion, I brought cash but he paid.)

Usually scratching below the surface, happens over spans of time, over conversations that happen outside of social settings. But social settings can be pleasant recreations and it is sad to think that you exclude yourself from them.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 2:55:47 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Absolutely a walk on the beach is lovely. So suggest that instead of a meal if you can't take care of your guest. In my home, I cater to my guests. If I invite people out to celebrate/mourn my birthday, I pay the tab. I expect that if you are inviting me, seeking my company, that you'll pick up the tab.

But what NG sees as being a spoiled brat, I see as someone with manners. In the same way, visitors to my home are politely refused when they offer to help with the clean up. Once they are friends, that's different. But still in the getting to know you stage? I would think them mannerless if they co-opted an invited guest to do their cleaning.

Of course, the op wouldn't have this problem if he had decent communication skills. Such as saying "I'd like to get to know you better but am running rather thin financially. How about we have a meal together sometime?" Which is a hell of a lot different than saying "Can I take you out Friday night to the new seafood place? Because when you say "I take you", it implies that the taker, the one proposing the date, is going to foot the bill.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 4:21:50 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		Except that to this very day women are still generally paid only 75% of what men make for the same work.

_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to barrick)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 4:23:25 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		call me materialistic <shrug>. Makes no difference to me. I still hold that if out on a first date I prefer a man to pay. It's old fashioned values of where I grew up in a small town where men were men, the breadwinners, head of the household, the Godhead and the leaders of the community.

A man would invite a woman out to a dinner and actually delighted in paying because it showed him as a breadwinner, someone who had leadership skills, was able to take care of his household and people looked up to in the community. Yeah I find those types of men to be incredibly hot.

Those men who don't want to pay and see it as a woman just being a bitch...well that's why I never dated those types of men. They usually showed their true colors waaaayyyy before we ever got to the point of going out to dinner.

Like I said it seems the art of seduction, of wooing a lady are long gone and dead with the current environment. It's sad actually.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 4:34:02 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I am a cheap date. I rarely drink, I order from the price list, and I don't need fancy outings. I always have money for BOTH meals.

Still, a man that has his wallet locked down? PROBABLY has his heart and mind locked down too. Miserliness is vile.

Speaking as a female dominant, the man had BETTER freakin pay for my coffee~ I already spent monies on the toys and clothes over the years. That I could do a scene with a toothpick is not relevant. If you want to serve me, show me up front that you have some idea of generosity, gentlemanliness, and manners.

My last sub was an unemployed student. He still brought me little gifts that he knew I would like. He cooked for me. I had no trouble taking him out for meals or paying for him to get into clubs. Because I knew that he would SHARE what he had, just as I do.

Someone who has that idea that I am not even worth a five dollar meal from the outset? Well, I won't be getting to know that person. And, that is just as well.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 4:45:54 PM   
toherwillibend


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/20/2010
Status: offline
I do not often post, but this topic interested me, so here I am.

If I invite someone out for a meal, I expect to pay. If someone invites me out to a meal, I still expect to pay. Seems like simple manners to me. I assume that I should have money in my pocket to cover expenses. If I don't have any money, then I might suggest a coffee, or a nice walk in the park. Of course, if we are walking in the park, I always have enough money in my pocket for the muggers, as it seems to be the polite thing to do.

Ok, that last bit about muggers isn't exactly true. When confronted by a mugger, I generally pretend to get the vapors and faint. This often leaves my dates in an awkward position, but my thought is that the *real* reason they are so angry afterwards is because they didn't think of it first.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 4:49:45 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		LOL, love it. I love that term, getting the vapors...it is so Tennesse Williams.

(in reply to toherwillibend)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 4:55:07 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toherwillibend


I do not often post, but this topic interested me, so here I am.

If I invite someone out for a meal, I expect to pay. If someone invites me out to a meal, I still expect to pay. Seems like simple manners to me. I assume that I should have money in my pocket to cover expenses. If I don't have any money, then I might suggest a coffee, or a nice walk in the park. Of course, if we are walking in the park, I always have enough money in my pocket for the muggers, as it seems to be the polite thing to do.

Ok, that last bit about muggers isn't exactly true. When confronted by a mugger, I generally pretend to get the vapors and faint. This often leaves my dates in an awkward position, but my thought is that the *real* reason they are so angry afterwards is because they didn't think of it first.



How sad, you are not local! What a tag team we would make, you getting the vapors and distracting the mugger whilst I dealt the testicle-throat blow to incapacitate him! Then we could go out for lobster!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to toherwillibend)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 5:09:37 PM   
toherwillibend


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/20/2010
Status: offline
Tag team mugger wrestling, which is great as my part in the drama appears to simply be to fall down, which is right up my alley, skill wise.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 5:11:40 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toherwillibend


Tag team mugger wrestling, which is great as my part in the drama appears to simply be to fall down, which is right up my alley, skill wise.



Since you are supposed to be under my boots anyway, WIN! Welcome to the boards, by the way. Be sure to join a clique!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to toherwillibend)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 5:30:35 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I've dated men who paid for my meals and entertainment - and i've dated men who ate my food and used my things.
My late Sir paid for everything - including books, which melted my heart in double quick time - until he wasn't able to - then i took over mortgage and utility payments.

I have to admit that for the first meet/date i expect the man to pay -and then after i make a good faith attempt to pay every two or three times. I don't order the most expensive thing on the menu, and don't order alcohol - because its expensive and i don't really like it lol. If i invite the man out i expect to pay - and have been known to grab the bill out of his hand.

In the long run, we seem to come out about even  - and as a wise and much loved man once said - "We are not going to worry about money. It ruins more relationships and ours isn't going to be one of them".

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Fair play Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094