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RE: Fair play - 8/30/2010 5:55:02 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline 		Ive only been treated to a meal twice by two very nice gentlemen from the otherside.

The most anyone in an actual relationship spent on me was a trip to mickey Ds and he even let me get a LARGE drink I swooned.

I usually invite someone out for drinks and because of my obsessive need to be early.... type of mentality usually already have a drink thats been paid for (so a man doesnt feel the need to wonder where my motives are) If we go from there I insist i pay and unless Im either so impressed by the person mentally, or  he just has that air of Im going to pay regardless of your feelings on the matter ( I love when men just mmmmm that dominance upon me...) I pay my half.  Usually after a few meets im comfortable enough to be in home with that person. Seeing as I boast my cooking skills, I often cook for my partner and use whats supplied in the home, If i want something special i purchase it. If a partner wants a special meal, and i dont have the stock ingredients, I ask if they would mind picking it up.


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Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Fair play - 8/31/2010 1:17:56 AM   
Nineveh


Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whiteslavebitch

Except that to this very day women are still generally paid only 75% of what men make for the same work.


This is, partly, due to maternity.  Now, I am not saying that women should be paid less due to having been saddled with the biological responsibility of bearing children.  However until there starts to be a struggle for paternity benefits companies are going to see men as a preferable option.  It may not be right, but it is the way companies work, they will do whatever they can get away with.  Also encouraging active fatherhood is a good thing and way easier than catching all the companies that are discriminating without being open about it.

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Fair play - 8/31/2010 1:30:07 AM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline 		My company doesnt offer maternity leave or benifits for the females in the company, you have to purchase disability insurance, or take pto and men still get paid more then women.




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Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Fair play - 8/31/2010 1:36:29 AM   
Nineveh


Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline 		Not surprising, and a sad indicator of America.  Again, the women being paid less is, probably, due to maternity.  If they are being paid less at the same seniority then there is grounds for a sexual discrimination suit, however if your seniority is getting destroyed because you have to take a leave of absence to birth a baby, you don't have the same seniority as a man who doesn't have to do this.

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Fair play - 8/31/2010 1:40:38 AM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline 		Would the same be said for many men who have to take time off for heart surgery or injury due to playing sports?

Women are not the only ones who take time off for periods of time. In fact while giving birth is a 6 to 12 process some men are out similar lengths of time for heart surgery back surgery knee surgery and various other injuries they incur in their lives.

In my company injuries are near constant... we have a soccer team a base ball team a mixxed softball team a basketball team..., we have since our beginning 6 births of coworkers but about 40 surgeries that have been for 6 weeks or more of absence. and more for shorter periods.


_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

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Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Fair play - 8/31/2010 2:19:00 AM   
Nineveh


Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

Would the same be said for many men who have to take time off for heart surgery or injury due to playing sports?

Women are not the only ones who take time off for periods of time. In fact while giving birth is a 6 to 12 process some men are out similar lengths of time for heart surgery back surgery knee surgery and various other injuries they incur in their lives.

In my company injuries are near constant... we have a soccer team a base ball team a mixxed softball team a basketball team..., we have since our beginning 6 births of coworkers but about 40 surgeries that have been for 6 weeks or more of absence. and more for shorter periods.



Women also have to take time off for heart surgery, sports injuries, and whatnot.  If women at the same seniority are being paid less then men they have a clearcut sexual discrimination suit, and at some point that company is going to get sued.  It used to be the case that women got paid less because of simple sexism, that is no longer possible, at least not for long.

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Fair play - 8/31/2010 2:56:51 AM   
BentUnit


Posts: 897
Status: offline 		The absolute excepted social etiquette in this situation is WHOM EVER ASKS, PAYS.

End of story.

(in reply to Nineveh)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Fair play - 8/31/2010 4:22:25 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		But the op has never been asked. So he's always chasing and always paying. It's a lot easier to whine about that then it is to do something about his issues so he will be seen as a desirable person. You have to learn all kinds of skills to be that; active listening, being a friend, being likable, learning to look women in the eyes instead of the breasts. You know, tough things like that.

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Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Fair play - 8/31/2010 4:36:08 AM   
BentUnit


Posts: 897
Status: offline 		To ask a woman out and (lol) have her except you have to show a modicum of charm.

He asks the woman out, she accepts..he pays.

I guess he'll never get past the "money on the night stand" mentality.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Fair play - 8/31/2010 6:04:38 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nineveh

Not surprising, and a sad indicator of America.  Again, the women being paid less is, probably, due to maternity.  If they are being paid less at the same seniority then there is grounds for a sexual discrimination suit, however if your seniority is getting destroyed because you have to take a leave of absence to birth a baby, you don't have the same seniority as a man who doesn't have to do this.


Ummmmm.... FMLA laws entitle men to take time off essentially for 'paternity leave' (up to 12 weeks).
I guess you have forgotten that.

True, it is not required for a man to take time off, but it is allowable.



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(in reply to Nineveh)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Fair play - 8/31/2010 1:10:03 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Just to be clear: you never invite women out?



As we're indulging one another in clarity....

I have on occasion asked out one of those female types.....but in my defence....my second line is always: "wasting your time looking at my wallet you're getting no more than a bowl of chips"....usually when she's checking her lipstick in the mirror and has no interest on whether or not I have a wallet on me.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Or if you do, you are up front about it being a split cheque?



No. Not upfront. I like to see how it pans out....giving someone the room to breathe....learning from experience as opposed to instruction etc.....see how she thinks...what drives her....etiquette? tradition? her own way of doing things etc.....I suppose when it comes down to it I'm not particularly conservative....and I like my women in the same fashion.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

What if she wishes to pay for you?
 


I'd order the biggest piece of meat on the menu......as part of the finest 13 courses on the menu....and make sure we get a take out of least 3 bottles of wine....

Either that or say: "that's very kind of you.....tell you what....I'll pay this one....you go with the next one"...

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Do you prefer to dine at home?



No. I'm a massive fan of both of us being fed and watered with a chance to relax and talk..... with someone else doing the cooking.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Do you expect her to split the cost of the groceries, or if she cooks, do you split the grocery bill with her?



All relative to income....but of course...when you're in a relationship you simply pool your resources.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

If you go to the pub with your friends, you have never paid his tab... ever?



Mates are different.....you buy a round with mates....no one thinks of buying a beer for themselves only.....different dynamic.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

It's sad that you exclude yourself from them....



Hey...don't shed any tears for me....I'll cope.

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Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Fair play - 8/31/2010 6:28:14 PM   
TheRaptorJesus


Posts: 640
Joined: 6/3/2010
Status: offline 		Fast reply without reading thread...

Every girl I've dated has been fine with splitting costs on dates. I've paid for some but also had some paid for.

EQUALITY LIVES!


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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Fair play - 8/31/2010 10:46:11 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		I've made more money than some men who have asked me out = turn off.

I've paid for dinner because a guy was broke = BIGGER turnoff.

I don't know why the OP is even comparing 'work or occupation' or pay scales with dating.  It is apples n oranges.



< Message edited by came4U -- 8/31/2010 10:49:43 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Fair play - 9/1/2010 7:01:52 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I love DinoJesu. Even if he does have internal genitalia.

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Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Fair play - 9/1/2010 7:28:34 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Ditto!

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Fair play - 9/1/2010 8:16:37 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I love DinoJesu. Even if he does have internal genitalia.


oh hell yeah!!

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Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Fair play - 9/1/2010 8:23:23 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

call me materialistic <shrug>. Makes no difference to me. I still hold that if out on a first date I prefer a man to pay. It's old fashioned values of where I grew up in a small town where men were men, the breadwinners, head of the household, the Godhead and the leaders of the community.

A man would invite a woman out to a dinner and actually delighted in paying because it showed him as a breadwinner, someone who had leadership skills, was able to take care of his household and people looked up to in the community. Yeah I find those types of men to be incredibly hot.

Those men who don't want to pay and see it as a woman just being a bitch...well that's why I never dated those types of men. They usually showed their true colors waaaayyyy before we ever got to the point of going out to dinner.

Like I said it seems the art of seduction, of wooing a lady are long gone and dead with the current environment. It's sad actually.



I'm with littlewonder, and just fine with that stance. I don't date men that can't or won't pay for dates, or anything else. I have a degree in business management, I keep a spotless house, gourmet cook, no children, and I will cater to your every whim shoud I deem myself to become your woman...but I am not paying. Hold on to your hat NG, but I also rather expect gifts, and nice vehicles, vacations, all of the accoutrements of dating someone of a certain stature and economic class. I am with a man that wanted an educated woman with a certain skill set and no children, in return I wanted someone very financially set and generous, who was willing to pay for almost everything in return for what kind of devotion and obedience among other things his previous wives were not willing to do for hom. Their loss.  I will use whatever I have to barter with to get the kind of man I want and in a long term committed relationship it's really only the two people in it that have a say, and we both say it's pretty perfect.  

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As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
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Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Fair play - 9/1/2010 8:34:09 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		There are three choices as I see it.  Ask a woman out and tell her she is going to pay for her meal.  Ask her out and pay for her meal because she MAY or may not expect it, but either way being with her is worth a few bucks.  Or don't ask her out.

Really if you let a woman know prior, you are more likely to find one that suits your style.

quote:

ORIGINAL: barrick

quote:

So, you are too cheap to pay for your dates, or you want the woman to pay, or what?


Is this an example of female privilege? Even that women have complained about male privilege for generations?

So a male is cheap if he doesn't pay but a female is not cheap if she doesn't pay? Can anyone spell "double standard"?

Please explain your logic and intelligent fact behind this theory?


(in reply to barrick)
Profile   Post #: 98
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