Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 8:30:59 AM   
igor2003


Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Myles

the one fetish that boggles my mind is Financial Domination, rings too much of " a fool and his money are easily parted" someone care to explain it?

Just a couple of thoughts.  Some people may link it to the concept of slavery in which the slave is not permitted to have financial assets.  Others want the humiliation angle of wanting to feel that the other person doesn't want them unless they pay for the privilege.  Others still get off on having no control over their finances.  There's also the deity angle.

Funny thing about fetishes, kinks, or dynamics that have anything to do with money.  There's a lot of gender bias on this one.  Folks don't often say much if it's a Master/slave dynamic and the Master takes control of  finances.  Make that Mistress/slave and suddenly, it's no longer a valid kink.



I have no doubt that there are those subs that do actually have such a fetish.  However if it actually were humiliation, loss of control, or a diety type of fetish as the main reasons then I can't help but wonder why it is almost all a matter of male subs.  If these were some of the main reasons wouldn't there be more fem subs sharing those fetishes and willing to give their money to a dom? 

I think it more likely, for the most part, that due to the large number of male subs all trying to get the attention of just a few fem dommes that many subs use this as a means of hoping to "buy" their way into the good graces of a mistress.  Time after time the female dominants on here say that the male subs have to do something that sets themselves apart from the masses.  So tell me, what is going to get a woman's attention the quickest...$500, or a sub that is willing to scrub their toilet once a week?

_____________________________

If the women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy. - Red Green

At my age erections are like cops...there's never one around when you need it!

Never miss a good chance to shut up. - Will Rogers


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 8:32:19 AM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		You strolling around with stacks of cash, Myles?

On a serious note, financial domination seems to be linked to vulnerability.



Edit: I'm assuming you were addressing everyone else SubPet, but I'd like to expand on my statement.

If I give someone control of all my finances, then I'll feel vulnerable and vulnerbility is a turn on for me (whether it is me or someone else).That is at least one explanation.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 9/2/2010 8:47:48 AM >

(in reply to Myles)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 8:40:33 AM   
SubPet715


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/24/2010
From: Brooklyn, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

You strolling around with stacks of cash, Myles?

On a serious note, financial domination seems to be linked to vulnerability.


Yes by all means this thread has the makings of a good and open discussion about why one likes something, don't taint it by out and out bashing what someone else likes. There is a vulnerability with talking about what your fetishes are, so try to be understanding of some peoples wants and desires.

_____________________________

Passion isn't really happiness.

(in reply to Twoshoes)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 8:51:14 AM   
MrBukani


Posts: 1920
Joined: 4/18/2010
Status: offline 		I dont have trouble understanding. I just dont respect that shit!

(in reply to MrBukani)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 8:54:08 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003
I have no doubt that there are those subs that do actually have such a fetish.  However if it actually were humiliation, loss of control, or a diety type of fetish as the main reasons then I can't help but wonder why it is almost all a matter of male subs.  If these were some of the main reasons wouldn't there be more fem subs sharing those fetishes and willing to give their money to a dom? 

I think it more likely, for the most part, that due to the large number of male subs all trying to get the attention of just a few fem dommes that many subs use this as a means of hoping to "buy" their way into the good graces of a mistress.  Time after time the female dominants on here say that the male subs have to do something that sets themselves apart from the masses.  So tell me, what is going to get a woman's attention the quickest...$500, or a sub that is willing to scrub their toilet once a week?

It doesn't have to be everybody's fetish.  The fact that some people have it is enough for it to qualify.

I happen to know a good number of M/s dynamics which are male led where the slave doesn't have any control of money whatsoever.  Some get a specific allowance or have to request permission to make purchases.  A few of them were long time posters on these boards, too.

As to your second paragraph, I think I've been more than forthcoming on these boards about what it takes for a submissive to 'stand above' the rest.  I'm not alone in that.  Many of the other female Dominants who are regular posters have done the same.  Quite often, the stories that we tell have very little to do with financial assets.  Though I have noticed a tendency for male submissives to want to blame financial status as a reason that they have been unable to form a dynamic with a Dominant woman.  It's very rare to hear them blame the potential possibility that it might have something to do with them.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to igor2003)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 9:16:01 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I think the fetishes that are most difficult to understand are the ones that don't disgust most people, but which leave them utterly baffled.

Dovetailing nicely with my answer of "eyeball licking". Huh... *blinks*


quote:

Of all of these, I think service is the most incomprehensible . . . and I'm someone who gets turned on by it!

I gotta admit, I don't get that either. Carol derives a great deal of personal satisfaction from serving me, but it doesn't get her all moist and wanting.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 9:17:56 AM   
SubPet715


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/24/2010
From: Brooklyn, NY
Status: offline 		Since I don't want to let on to what my fetishes are (they're all rather normal I assure you) for fear someone sees them and thinks less of me, I will mention one of my tamer ones.

I enjoy cfnm, it is an amazing turn on for me if the women is just fully clothed through any sexual activity. Cutting a hole through sweatpants, stretch pants, or wearing a skirt while she has me stripped down wearing nothing. There is such a sensual control there, because I am naked and vulnerable I feel as if i'm being used in a very good way.

_____________________________

Passion isn't really happiness.

(in reply to FamilyofM)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 9:19:55 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		There are lines between Understanding, experiencing and enjoying things. I never forget the first time I heard "Daddy" pass through the lips of a girlfriend, back when I was in my early 20's. It really startled me in disturbing ways, then again I did not understand Jack-Shit about Daddy/Little Girl relationships. LOL It's really not a bad thing.

There are things that I understand, but does not mean I personally enjoy nor that I have to find accepting as part of What it is that I do. Diapers and Scat and few other things are on my "gross out" or "turn off" list.

For me personally, I have to have more of a understanding as to why people freak out over knife play and things that I take rather much for granted. Stuff that does not phase me one damn bit but totally freaks others out. It's not like I'm out to cut off body parts or anything like that.

Then again, I'm not into things such as Gun play (playing with loaded guns), because I grew up having a great deal of respect instilled in me about not treating guns like toys, and yeah it's risky. It's a risk I really ain't into. Personally, Gun play just makes me want to bitch slap somebody upside the head or across the face. Then again, that's what would have happened to me if I had been playing with loaded real guns. Actually would have had my ass beat with a belt and then some.

Ironic, as it is, It was not a problem with me building a homemade bed of nails when I 13 years old. Then again, some people freak out to hear about twisted stuff people actually did as a kid or a teenager. That it's somehow, by the age of 18 or 21 we just start doing things for the first time. Ironic, I was into bondage and many things before I actually started having sex. LOL Then again, some people don't understand you can do things without sex, but rather play off sexual tension.

What an interesting world it is, truly.

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to igor2003)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 9:45:27 AM   
igor2003


Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003
I have no doubt that there are those subs that do actually have such a fetish.  However if it actually were humiliation, loss of control, or a diety type of fetish as the main reasons then I can't help but wonder why it is almost all a matter of male subs.  If these were some of the main reasons wouldn't there be more fem subs sharing those fetishes and willing to give their money to a dom? 

I think it more likely, for the most part, that due to the large number of male subs all trying to get the attention of just a few fem dommes that many subs use this as a means of hoping to "buy" their way into the good graces of a mistress.  Time after time the female dominants on here say that the male subs have to do something that sets themselves apart from the masses.  So tell me, what is going to get a woman's attention the quickest...$500, or a sub that is willing to scrub their toilet once a week?

It doesn't have to be everybody's fetish.  The fact that some people have it is enough for it to qualify.

I happen to know a good number of M/s dynamics which are male led where the slave doesn't have any control of money whatsoever.  Some get a specific allowance or have to request permission to make purchases.  A few of them were long time posters on these boards, too.

As to your second paragraph, I think I've been more than forthcoming on these boards about what it takes for a submissive to 'stand above' the rest.  I'm not alone in that.  Many of the other female Dominants who are regular posters have done the same.  Quite often, the stories that we tell have very little to do with financial assets.  Though I have noticed a tendency for male submissives to want to blame financial status as a reason that they have been unable to form a dynamic with a Dominant woman.  It's very rare to hear them blame the potential possibility that it might have something to do with them.



You are comparing apples and oranges here just for the sake of argument.  Nothing was said about it being everybody's fetish.  I don't know where you got that except that I have noticed that many fem-dommes on this site like to change things around and take things out of context simply to sound superior or something. 

There are MANY situations in and out of BDSM where one partner controls the purse strings.  That has nothing to do with the topic at hand which is about financial dommes and financial slaves and why it is a fetish for THOSE in particular. 

And again no one said that YOU were a financial domme, so I don't know why you took what I said personally.  Thin skin?  You gave your thoughts on why there were financial slaves fetishes, and I gave mine.  So what's your problem?  Can't accept that other people have other ideas?

And the last part of your statement about financial situations has nothing to do with what I wrote nor the topic.  Maybe you just wanted to stand on your soapbox a little longer to spread your message?

I don't mind an honest discussion, but if we are talking about apples, then keep the topic on apples.

_____________________________

If the women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy. - Red Green

At my age erections are like cops...there's never one around when you need it!

Never miss a good chance to shut up. - Will Rogers


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 10:16:30 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003
You are comparing apples and oranges here just for the sake of argument.  Nothing was said about it being everybody's fetish.  I don't know where you got that except that I have noticed that many fem-dommes on this site like to change things around and take things out of context simply to sound superior or something. 

There are MANY situations in and out of BDSM where one partner controls the purse strings.  That has nothing to do with the topic at hand which is about financial dommes and financial slaves and why it is a fetish for THOSE in particular. 

And again no one said that YOU were a financial domme, so I don't know why you took what I said personally.  Thin skin?  You gave your thoughts on why there were financial slaves fetishes, and I gave mine.  So what's your problem?  Can't accept that other people have other ideas?

And the last part of your statement about financial situations has nothing to do with what I wrote nor the topic.  Maybe you just wanted to stand on your soapbox a little longer to spread your message?

I don't mind an honest discussion, but if we are talking about apples, then keep the topic on apples.

It was actually you who wanted to throw the strawman of why some submissives are chosen by Dominant women over others.  That didn't really have a thing to do with "what fetish don't you understand" which was the original of the thread.  Your belief about why some submissives aren't able to find a Dominant who pursues a dynamic with them was what wasn't on the topic.  The topic isn't about those people who enjoy the fetish to justify it. 

I can promise you that it's not a thin skin that is the issue here.  Every fetish discussion doesn't need to be an opportunity for someone to come along to sing their chorus of 'money would make someone a desired submissive'.

In fact, you didn't give your view on the concept of financial Domination as a fetish at all.  Instead, you wanted to lean on the disproportionate numbers theory as to why money is an equalizer.  Yet, some of the submissive males that are thought of the most highly around these boards aren't perceived that way by the Dominant women here because of what they have in their wallet.  They are attractive, smart, willing to submit, and a whole list of qualities of why the Dommes here would nab them for a dynamic.

Rather than derail the thread further, if you don't believe Me on the matter, why not a little independent research?  Write ten Dominant women who are active on the forums and ask them who they see as good prospective subs who contribute on these forums and why.  See how many of the male names overlap across various lists.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to igor2003)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 10:45:23 AM   
Voodali


Posts: 255
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline 		Let's see...

Anything thick and/or chunky that comes out of the body. Anything that harms an animal.  Balloons...I mean they're fun, but hardly wank material for most.

I do get the Daddy/Daughter dynamic.  I'm sure there are times when many of us would like to indulge the inner child and feel protected. The thing I couldn't do is call someone "Daddy" and not be immediately reminded of my father, which would be like having a bucket of cold water dumped on my libido.

Adult babies with moustaches I get only intellectually.  I wouldn't want to be one, and I would suck at playing with one because I am repulsed by real infants, let alone big hairy ones, particularly if they pinch a loaf in their diapers.  Also, for no apparent reason, moustaches turn me off unless you can pull one off like Freddie Mercury.Would I befriend and respect an AB, absolutely !

A seemingly common fetish...or perhaps its a lifestyle choice...that I don't get is poly with one male and more than one female.  I don't share, or see why I should have to.  Solitude is preferable, and I've often chosen it.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 10:51:24 AM   
Voodali


Posts: 255
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

So tell me, what is going to get a woman's attention the quickest...$500, or a sub that is willing to scrub their toilet once a week?


Given the choice between a moderately attractive, local, single, intelligent boy who cares about me as a person (and not a fetish delivery system), submits and obeys orders with consistency, and who regularly shows up and scrubs my toilet once every week without flaking, and is willing to accompany me to BDSM events, and $500.00, I'll take the boy, because he's incredibly rare and worth way more than $500 !

(in reply to Voodali)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 10:58:54 AM   
sothernnyte


Posts: 95
Joined: 11/22/2005
Status: offline 		i have a difficult enough time understanding why i enjoy the things i do, much less anyone else's fetishes.

some i don't care for and wouldnt consider. those i just step away from.

if it is with my Mistress or my girlfriend (my gf and i are both sub to our Mistress), i am more open to trying fetishes that perhaps arent my own as long as they dont cross over into my limits.

to each their own and me to mine

(in reply to Voodali)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 11:52:26 AM   
D0M1NANT


Posts: 32
Joined: 3/18/2010
Status: offline 		My personal walk thru this maze W/we call life has never led Me into the enjoyment of scat or watersports.. I have tried them to experience different aspects of the lifestyle I have embraced but do not understand the enjoyment derived from them. I will not condemn someone who does get such enjoyment.. O/our lifestyle cant be accepted by society at large if W/we cant all accept E/each O/other regardless of kinks that float O/our respective boats..

(in reply to Myles)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 12:20:11 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I mean why - *why* - would someone get turned on by serving someone? It's nutty!


Funny. That REALLY turns me on.

pam

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 12:38:55 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I *understand* most fetishes, I just don't participate in the ones that I don't like. For me, the notion of changing the diaper of an adult who is not physically incapacitated is repugant. YAY for those that enjoy that, though. I am sure that there are those who find the sight of blood disgusted, while I am excited by it.

It's a world of folks.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to gungadin09)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 1:00:51 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		It can be creepy, or non creepy, just depends on the couples  or individuals motivation for doing it.

For me it's not creepy at all. My interest in Daddy Doms is a fatherly figure who loves you and guides you and teaches you, and adores the aspects of you that are still very vulnerable like a child. I sometimes argue with myself internally that doms and Daddy doms are not that much different, in roles and natures, since both nurture lead, guide and shape you, but then all the non Daddy  inclined types, never did appreciate the parts of me that are still very much vunerable and child like and how my views on things actually are from a childs view point, like how things should be fair and just, and I know logically the worlds not a fair or just place, but the parts of me that are still a child thinks they should be.

My past doms , who were not Daddy style  inclined. always tried to change or ignore the parts of me that were what makes me who I am.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I don't understand Roman, and I don't understand the whole "daddy dom" thing. Is it as creepy as it sounds?


_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 1:04:23 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: D0M1NANT

My personal walk thru this maze W/we call life has never led Me into the enjoyment of scat or watersports.. I have tried them to experience different aspects of the lifestyle I have embraced but do not understand the enjoyment derived from them. I will not condemn someone who does get such enjoyment.. O/our lifestyle cant be accepted by society at large if W/we cant all accept E/each O/other regardless of kinks that float O/our respective boats..


A prime example of another fetish I do not understand.

S/slashy T/type.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to D0M1NANT)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 2:41:29 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I think the fetishes that are most difficult to understand are the ones that don't disgust most people, but which leave them utterly baffled. Of all of these, I think service is the most incomprehensible . . . and I'm someone who gets turned on by it!

I mean why - *why* - would someone get turned on by serving someone? It's nutty!



Not to take the conversation off in a different direction, but I wanted to say about Service...it's not the "Service" that's the turn on...it's the "subtext" involved in the mental process of the sub, and the (at least for me) electrically charged interaction with the Dominant that is the turn on. 




Hmm! Now, *that* struck a chord. Whenever I think of service, I always think of the Domme's face, how she feels, then how I feel as a result of how she feels, then how she feels as a result of how I feel about . . . . er . . . . You get the picture. Then energy seems to bounce backwards and forwards, increasing as it does so. (There's a word in Physics for that. Perhaps VC will supply it.)

Heh. I'll never stop being intrigued by this stuff.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? - 9/2/2010 2:50:16 PM   
peacefulplace


Posts: 157
Joined: 8/22/2010
Status: offline 		Well...I'd like to join the chorus of people who just found out what "Roman" showers are. I think I could have gone my whole life without that mental image to torment me!

_____________________________

If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.
~~Emma Goldman

One thing is clear to me: We, as human beings, must be willing to accept people who are different from ourselves.
~~Barbara Jordan

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109