Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domination=-


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domination=- Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/5/2010 3:43:48 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		hahaha Since I have always thought a reach around was something ya do to a man you are riding behind on a bike, and it involves no part of the ass, this thread title made me tilt my head and look confused like a puppy dog.

Anyhow, carry on, I snarfed when I actually clicked and read what it is about. 

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/5/2010 4:14:30 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
*laughs* I think I love you Animus.

OK, but just so long as it is the love that dare not speak its name.

Otherwise it would be like adding another finger, and I'm not that secure.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/5/2010 6:57:40 PM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Anal sex - So you are saying that the guy on bottom getting ass-hammered isn't in a submissive position or being submissive because he asked for it?  Isn't that more like a switch than a Dom?

You will never see the dominant alpha male wolf getting humped by his subordinates.  One of the precepts behind the male-dom / fem-sub credo being the natural order is that a woman must submit to being penetrated in order to procreate.  The man must get excited, erect and then jam his member into her violating her interior space . . . a very invasive and dominant act.  I sorta' thought it was what was behind the universal appeal and popularity of a Dominatrix with an AssMaster 9000?  It is a radical role reversal for a man, making it exciting forbidden fruit.  

...just sayin', it sounds switchy to me.



I'm sure some people look at it like that, but I don't think it's necessary to. I don't consider penetrative sex to be violating me, or inherently "invasive" or "dominant." That's just how the parts work. It's just as possible to see the act of penetration as the woman enveloping the man. I think what you're talking about is the space in which it feels powerful to give pleasure, and if you approach that space with strict definitions of dom and sub you're going to get confused. Because most subs like to give pleasure. It's what makes them feel powerful in their own way. They submit to the individual needs of their desired dom, but they don't lose the urge to feel like they've mastered a pleasure giving act.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/5/2010 7:14:10 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Ok, if I have both hands gripping her hair and I'm pushing it so far down her throat that her eyes are watering and her drool is dripping down My thighs and onto her breasts. Meanwhile, she slips a well lubed finger into the starfish and massages My prostate, I dont think Im being submissive

(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/5/2010 7:21:01 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

I think.....when the submissive is actively doing something for the Dominant, the Dominant is being serviced....where the Dominant is actively doing something to/taking something from the submissive S/He is Dominating.

~sweetsub~


Agreed.  The physical act is not as important as the mental/emotional dynamics - who's directing the action?


Exactly. Whether the Dominant is Dominating the submissive or the submissive is servicing the Dominant, the Dominant is still in control. That's what really matters.....IMO.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/5/2010 7:27:31 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline 		I think I must be confused by the term, but I think that a reach around has always been when I reach around and give my man a hand job, at least that is what it has always been called around these parts RS. .

As far as acts go, well...in all honesty and I know I am going to get fried for this, but the day he asks me to put on a strap on and he is on his knees, ass up, while I pound him, well, I just lost my Dom. I find that about as unappealing as him calling me Mistress.

The last thing I ever want to see is my man on all fours squealing like well...me. Not going to happen in this relationship. Sure, I have no issue with rimming or a prostate massage, but the scene from Deliverance? Nope. Huge turn off.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/5/2010 7:31:27 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Nowadays, if you are interacting with the TNG crowd, a "reach around" is a finger in the ass while getting a blow job. 


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/5/2010 7:38:10 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline 		Well, I guess I don't hang with a TNG crowd RS. Oh and urban dictionary and I are on the same page. . I'm old school I guess~

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=reach%20around

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/5/2010 7:44:13 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Hey, I learned that expression from my fellow TNG Floridians...  but we can't even work a butterfly ballot down here so it figures we would get it ass backwards.  Thnx for the link.

eta:
ROFLMAO
I can imagine the surprise if some visitor in Florida wanting a hand job, asks for a 'reach around' and ends up with fingers up his ass. 


< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 9/5/2010 7:48:45 PM >

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/5/2010 7:56:26 PM   
kttqnp


Posts: 118
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline 		Very interesting question, Mr.Sadist.  I would have to say that I have never felt it necessary to "ass-rape" anyone with a strap-on; they have always submitted willingly.  That never made it less of a dominant act to either party.  To me, dominance is not always about taking control. Sometimes it is about accepting submission that is given as part of an understanding.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/5/2010 8:10:05 PM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88
but the scene from Deliverance? Nope. Huge turn off.


In all fairness, the scene from Deliverance was rape and I don't think that's what anyone is talking about here.

(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/5/2010 8:41:19 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kttqnp

Very interesting question, Mr.Sadist.  I would have to say that I have never felt it necessary to "ass-rape" anyone with a strap-on; they have always submitted willingly.  That never made it less of a dominant act to either party.  To me, dominance is not always about taking control. Sometimes it is about accepting submission that is given as part of an understanding.

Well put and to the point I mentioned about receiving service, accepting a subordinate's submission, like letting her cook a meal or etc.  It is a passive form of domination.  You aren't hunting down and aggressively taking the pleasure your want, you are accepting the pleasures given.

I opened this thread because there are many aspects and perspectives in the OP.  I know some hard core macho outlaw types and survivalists.  Some of them won't eat pussy because it is a submissive act.  Some of them won't eat pussy because it's gay . . . second hand blow job they called it, because a man's cock has been in there.  

It's all a matter of perspective, a matter of scale.  But can one man's Dominance be another man's submission?  There must be some measure, some common ground between us all to define between Dominance and submission.  Again I say, I have never seen an alpha wolf or alpha dog let a subordinate hump them.  That's a common denominator for canines.  Have we become so diluted that we can't we find one for us humans? 

I find it hard to believe that life isn't so simple as the one on top ramming is the Dominant and the one on bottom getting rammed is the submissive?  One day, will I find masochists instead of sadists swinging whips because it emotionally hurts them to inflict physical pain on others?  Will it truly come to the day when the one swinging the whip and inflicting pain can't be defined as a sadist?

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 9/5/2010 8:43:43 PM >

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to kttqnp)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/5/2010 9:14:12 PM   
kttqnp


Posts: 118
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I find it hard to believe that life isn't so simple as the one on top ramming is the Dominant and the one on bottom getting rammed is the submissive?  One day, will I find masochists instead of sadists swinging whips because it emotionally hurts them to inflict physical pain on others?  Will it truly come to the day when the one swinging the whip and inflicting pain can't be defined as a sadist?


Funny you should say that.....  I have actually forced a sub to spank me because A:  I wanted him to, and B:  It was so much fun seeing him trying to squirm his way out of it.  He was so totally mortified that I would even ask for such a thing that it just made me more insistent on it. In your book, that would have made him the sadist, when in fact he was nothing of the sort.  The only enjoyment he got from it was pleasing me.  And no, we were not 'switching'.  I was, and always will be, the dominant in the relationship.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/5/2010 9:17:57 PM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
There must be some measure, some common ground between us all to define between Dominance and submission.  Again I say, I have never seen an alpha wolf or alpha dog let a subordinate hump them.  That's a common denominator for canines.  Have we become so diluted that we can't we find one for us humans? 



Personally, I don't consider higher ordered consciousness to be dilution. And men who think that cunnilingus is gay should stick to training canines.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/6/2010 5:00:29 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Anal sex - So you are saying that the guy on bottom getting ass-hammered isn't in a submissive position or being submissive because he asked for it?  Isn't that more like a switch than a Dom?

You will never see the dominant alpha male wolf getting humped by his subordinates.  One of the precepts behind the male-dom / fem-sub credo being the natural order is that a woman must submit to being penetrated in order to procreate.  The man must get excited, erect and then jam his member into her violating her interior space . . . a very invasive and dominant act.  I sorta' thought it was what was behind the universal appeal and popularity of a Dominatrix with an AssMaster 9000?  It is a radical role reversal for a man, making it exciting forbidden fruit.  

...just sayin', it sounds switchy to me.



I disagree. It's a physical sensation which is entirely different than who has control. Or do you also believe that if you are the receiver of any physical sensation, then you are bottoming?

Some people like gentle massages, others prefer deep tissue massage. The fact that you like one over the other says nothing about your desire to be in control in the relationship or not.

Extrapolating from your viewpoint, do you also believe that anyone who likes five alarm chili is a switch also? After all they are willingly suffering a burning mouth and tears, obviously a twue dom wouldn't do that. Or would they?

Sadist and masochist are about sensation. Dominant and submissive are about control and authority. You can have any combination imaginable. Not all sadists are dominant, not all subs are masochistic.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/6/2010 5:55:28 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

As far as acts go, well...in all honesty and I know I am going to get fried for this, but the day he asks me to put on a strap on and he is on his knees, ass up, while I pound him, well, I just lost my Dom. I find that about as unappealing as him calling me Mistress.

And if he doesn't ask, just buckles you into a harness, ties you spreadeagled on the bed and rides you until he's roaring at the ceiling? What then? Huh?

(Just askin'....)


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/6/2010 6:11:22 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP



I disagree. It's a physical sensation which is entirely different than who has control. Or do you also believe that if you are the receiver of any physical sensation, then you are bottoming?

Some people like gentle massages, others prefer deep tissue massage. The fact that you like one over the other says nothing about your desire to be in control in the relationship or not.

Extrapolating from your viewpoint, do you also believe that anyone who likes five alarm chili is a switch also? After all they are willingly suffering a burning mouth and tears, obviously a twue dom wouldn't do that. Or would they?

Sadist and masochist are about sensation. Dominant and submissive are about control and authority. You can have any combination imaginable. Not all sadists are dominant, not all subs are masochistic.



Well said DesFip

Can you imagine being with a guy that 'thinks' certain acts shouldn't be done because they are too submissive?!?
Can you imagine being with a guy that feels he has to constantly prove that he's dominant enough? A man that is terrified of letting go and enjoying the moment because people make jump to the wrong conclusion.
It reminds me of the juvenile boys at school that teased and mocked a fellow class mate about being gay. The accusations are purely made for self preservation.

All I have left to say on this is 'What does it matter? who gives a fuck?'


_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/6/2010 6:30:17 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Acts are simply acts and nothing more.  Context and intent define the act being more passive or dominant.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/6/2010 6:32:01 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Now, with all that said, I have to admit that like Aynne, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that. But this is my hang up solely.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domi... - 9/6/2010 6:34:24 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		FR,

I have to admit I'm surprised at you, RS-this thread smells of a kind of insecurity I didn't think you had. Do you really think penetration is 'un-dominant' somehow, or is this a devils advocate-style windup?


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: -=Ass-rape vs a reach around, sex & service vs domination=- Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.141