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Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 11:33:16 AM   
CarpeComa


Posts: 194
Joined: 5/12/2010
Status: offline 		This is a spin-off of this thread.

It is fairly well established here, on the other side, and other places that there is a bias against bisexual dominant male partners on the part of submissive females ranging from "I don't want one for a partner" to outright hostility towards them. It is also a reasonably well established understanding that bisexuality (or willingness to engage in sexual acts with both genders) is generally approved of by straight dominant men and women on the part of submissive partners. Of course there are exceptions, your mileage may vary, void where prohibited, yada yada yada.

What I am curious to know is: Does a general dislike for bisexual dominant partners exist across gender pairings? If you identify as submissive, is your dominant partner of choice one that is solely interested in your gender? Do you care? As a dominant, have you either directly witnessed bias against bisexuality coming from submissive partners or felt it being implied? Do you feel that such feelings are fairly common among the submissive gender(s) of your choice?

< Message edited by CarpeComa -- 9/6/2010 11:34:31 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 11:36:55 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, I care. I want a Dominant male partner who is totally straight.

End of story.

(in reply to CarpeComa)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 11:42:11 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		I have no idea what "female submissives" may or may not think since I don't really recognize that as a category. Carol is sex-positive. While we are both hetero right now, I think under the right circumstances she'd be fine with her being sexual with a woman and/or me being sexual with a man. I just don't think the plumbing would register on her. She'd be more worried about the poly angle.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to CarpeComa)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 11:43:10 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		I think that female bisexual Dominants are more "socially acceptable" than male.

that is the result of my totally unscientific (some would say bullshit) sampling.

But, if you look at it, I think that bi male subs are less accepted than bi female subs also.  Guys just cant win. LOL

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 11:43:36 AM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		I'd like to add the following question for everyone who replies:

Does it matter at all to you if the man in question cannot form romantic relationships with men?

Edit: wasn't directed only at Jeff.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 9/6/2010 11:54:33 AM >

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 11:45:02 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
Does it matter at all to you if the man in question cannot form romantic relationships with men?
Still wouldn't matter to Carol other than the poly angle. She'd prefer our marriage stay monogamous and has concerns that it may not.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Twoshoes)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 11:46:57 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CarpeComa
As a dominant, have you either directly witnessed bias against bisexuality coming from submissive partners or felt it being implied? Do you feel that such feelings are fairly common among the submissive gender(s) of your choice?

This isn't My personal experience.  Being a straight Dominant, I've noticed it more the other way around.  I can't tell you how many times over the years I've specifically heard, "I wish you were bi" from female submissives.  In fact, the subject has come up more with female submissives than their male counterparts.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to CarpeComa)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 11:49:14 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
But, if you look at it, I think that bi male subs are less accepted than bi female subs also.  Guys just cant win. LOL

Heh.  Just means more for Me and that means I win.

I can live with that. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 11:49:48 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Interesting that you neglected to account for bisexual female dominants, of which I am one, and differences in how we relate to bisexuality in submissive partners and/or how they relate to our sexual orientation. If/when you work those factors into your question, I might be willing to answer. However, as it stands, I find your phrasing to be too heterosexist to be of any value.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 11:53:30 AM   
NeedsFocus


Posts: 42
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		For me, I don't really care if he is bisexual or not. The only problem with that is that I am not poly in any way. I'm not really good at sharing. To share sexually is one thing, but to share emotionally is something entirely different. 

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 11:56:44 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NeedsFocus

For me, I don't really care if he is bisexual or not. The only problem with that is that I am not poly in any way. I'm not really good at sharing. To share sexually is one thing, but to share emotionally is something entirely different. 


Yet many who have bisexual leanings do not necessary indulge in their desires. A person who identifies as bisexual do not mean they are not or can not be monogamous.


_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to NeedsFocus)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 11:58:18 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I care. It was one of the first questions I asked him when getting to know him. If he had said he was bi I would not have bothered getting to know him as anything more than a friend. I have nothing against bisexual people. I just don't want to be in a relationship with one. I like men who are completely and utterly hetero. It's what I'm attracted to. The idea that he has any kind of interest whatsoever in another male just turns me off and I just can't see him as relationship material for me.

I have no idea what is or isn't all that common in bdsm. It's not something i really pay attention to because it doesn't involve me directly. What others do is of no business to me.

(in reply to NeedsFocus)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 11:59:04 AM   
Zevar


Posts: 801
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CarpeComa

This is a spin-off of this thread.

It is fairly well established here, on the other side, and other places that there is a bias against bisexual dominant male partners on the part of submissive females ranging from "I don't want one for a partner" to outright hostility towards them. It is also a reasonably well established understanding that bisexuality (or willingness to engage in sexual acts with both genders) is generally approved of by straight dominant men and women on the part of submissive partners. Of course there are exceptions, your mileage may vary, void where prohibited, yada yada yada.

What I am curious to know is: Does a general dislike for bisexual dominant partners exist across gender pairings? If you identify as submissive, is your dominant partner of choice one that is solely interested in your gender? Do you care? As a dominant, have you either directly witnessed bias against bisexuality coming from submissive partners or felt it being implied? Do you feel that such feelings are fairly common among the submissive gender(s) of your choice?


Gender/ Sexual orientation blending is what I would call shifting from one gender expression to another gender/ sexual orientation expression only to not be solely of the gender/ sexual orientation expression that was originally presented.

I am Heterosexual/Straight & Dominant. I do not express Gender/Sexual Orientation blending whatsoever! 100% only Dominant with NO desire to explore any other role! Obviously some differ. I respect there are differences for others. Actually there are many differences in pairing for many people. However as I stated earlier I am not willing to explore in this manner.

In the nutshell I am Heterosexual/Straight & Dominant & ONLY willing to pair with a lady who is Heterosexual/Straight & Submissive. Simple! Other than that combination is when platonic friendship is considered. Do I care? 100% I do!

Take care!

< Message edited by Zevar -- 9/6/2010 12:02:22 PM >

(in reply to CarpeComa)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 12:04:04 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I only want a man who is straight.

I'm aware that just because a man is bisexual does not mean he is going to sleep with the opposite gender when he gets a partner.

But discussions with a 'nilla bisexual male friend, who has been married for many years, led to him disclosing that he really missed having sex with another man. He hinted that his wife had 'ways to satisfy those urges', but that was way too much info for me

And to be honest, the thought of using a dildo or strap-on with my dominant would have me running away, screaming!



_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to Zevar)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 12:06:48 PM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

quote:

ORIGINAL: NeedsFocus

For me, I don't really care if he is bisexual or not. The only problem with that is that I am not poly in any way. I'm not really good at sharing. To share sexually is one thing, but to share emotionally is something entirely different. 


Yet many who have bisexual leanings do not necessary indulge in their desires. A person who identifies as bisexual do not mean they are not or can not be monogamous.



Well I'm glad someone said it!
My partner has had previous bi experiences and I'm perfectly cool with that. He told me recently that the reason his last relationship broke up is because she asked him (once well into the relationship) if he had ever considered a man. When he told her that he had not only considered it but done it, she replied 'thats disgusting. Lets not ever talk about this again please' Her words hung over him for a while before he decided she just wasn't an open minded enough girl for him.

He shows absolutely no sign of wanting to go with a man. We are poly with our fem sub and he is more than happy with that.
But if its okay for me then why shouldn't it be okay for him


_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 12:12:48 PM   
NeedsFocus


Posts: 42
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:



Well I'm glad someone said it!
My partner has had previous bi experiences and I'm perfectly cool with that. He told me recently that the reason his last relationship broke up is because she asked him (once well into the relationship) if he had ever considered a man. When he told her that he had not only considered it but done it, she replied 'thats disgusting. Lets not ever talk about this again please' Her words hung over him for a while before he decided she just wasn't an open minded enough girl for him.

He shows absolutely no sign of wanting to go with a man. We are poly with our fem sub and he is more than happy with that.
But if its okay for me then why shouldn't it be okay for him



Well, to be completely honest, I'm not really into sharing at all. I don't want to be used by anyone else and I don't want him using anyone else. So there isn't really a double standard there for me. And since there is no "Him" currently, it doesn't really matter. :)

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 12:14:08 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
I would just like to take this opportunity to acknowledge all the Straight Male Dominants
who have perved my profile. Thank you, thank you very much.

chia* (the pet)


_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to CarpeComa)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 12:20:44 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
Was that a pin dropping?

chia* (the pet)


_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 12:39:59 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Chia, you make me smile. Thank you!!!

Your statement reminds me of something I've often wondered. How many of those straight (when asked by a woman who's pants they desperately wanted to get into) were stretching the truth a wee bit.

Maybe I've just known too many gay men that were a sneaky convenient fuck for a 'totally hetro' man.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Bisexual Dominants - 9/6/2010 12:41:54 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

chia* (the pet)


_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 20
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