RE: Contacting Submissives on Collarme

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RE: Contacting Submissives on Collarme - 9/18/2010 7:59:39 AM

Twoshoes

Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

quote:

Look at sentence structure and grammar. Most people (I think) are not attracted to minimum effort, nor to a lack of intellect. (A lack of intellect is not the same as a lack of education. The latter is far less problematic than the former)

This part would be so much easier for people if you subs were impressed by differential equations or circular integrals. Just casually work it in there...

quote:

Be straight forward and honest. Be YOURSELF. Think about it, If you do end up meeting the person you contacted in real life, your lies will be exposed sooner or later.

I've never been mistaken for anyone else in my life!

Now I have to write something on topic:
1. Don't brag.
If you can tell a positive true story about something that happened to you which somehow relates to them (or their interests), which implies things from your personality, you can communicate ALOT about yourself while keeping it interesting.

2. Make sure you make who you are clear. I mean, you could weave stories about nothing all day long, but it's a waste of time. Yeah, some people won't like you, some will just want to be friends. Friends are awesome.

3. Don't worry about being anxious. Stress actually increases your mental and physical capacities temporarily if you don't let it overwhelm you.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 9/18/2010 8:15:54 AM >

(in reply to fishoutofwater)

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RE: Contacting Submissives on Collarme - 9/23/2010 4:33:47 PM

Asyra

Posts: 618
Joined: 1/5/2010
Status: offline

quote:

What gets my attention is when a man took the time to read my profile and my interests, and then mentions them in the email. It shows he took an interest in what I had to say and hopefully thought about what we might have in common

That's so what i was going to say, too! I always respond when i see that someone has read my profile and is sharing their thoughts on it, common interests, anything. And, of course, if it's written with respect...

< Message edited by Asyra -- 9/23/2010 4:34:19 PM >

(in reply to juliaoceania)

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RE: Contacting Submissives on Collarme - 9/25/2010 2:39:24 PM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
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It may be trite, but the username is important to me. I would probably rule you out due to your username alone, before I ever got the to the message. Not that Kaliko is so great, of course (I just happened to be looking at my cat when I was joining up), but...your username makes me feel like you're not looking for that one special woman. And maybe you're not. I wouldn't know, because I probably would have deleted your message without looking at your profile.

(in reply to Needapersonalpet)

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RE: Contacting Submissives on Collarme - 9/25/2010 6:00:20 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetcrybaby

quote:

I believe being contacted by a Dom out of interest is very flattering. Whether I am interested or not, I am blushing that I was considered for further exploration. I like gentleman. I like the Dom to come off as very sweet and gentle. Like trying to coax an anxious horse into eating from your hand...Also when it comes to a busy Dom, it really just means he is dedicated to his career, and grounded in security. These are good qualities. As a submissive I have to remind myself often to be more patient. I have been guilty in the past of complaining about the level of attention or affection that was given to me, but the street goes both ways. Patience is usually rewarded. I have found that it helps keep me focused if the Dom lets me know when I'll be allowed his time. This way I have something to look forward too, and I'm not on the verge of tantrum. Lapses of silence can be difficult in the beginning for a sub, if they do not know what to expect. Although, with the right balance, It can be a passionate game pining for the Doms attention, and he can soak up all of his subs desire...

First off, not all Doms who contact you are interested in YOU particularly; many send random emails to every sub. Most hardly read the profiles.

Second, a busy Dom is not necessarily working on his career,or does it mean he is grounded in security. He could be busy with his wife and family, or busy with other women, hanging out a bar, surfing the net obsessively or playing video games. Don't assume.

As for patience about not getting enough time, that may be good for you, but many of us believe we deserve to have a partner's attention and don't consider ourselves horses that need coaxing. Not all Doms are sweet and gentle and not all subs care for that type.

Lot's of assumptionss and generalizations above. That may work for you, but not all subs are the same or have the same needs and desires as you.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 9/25/2010 6:01:59 PM >

(in reply to sweetcrybaby)

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RE: Contacting Submissives on Collarme - 9/26/2010 3:46:29 PM

sweetcrybaby

Posts: 8
Joined: 10/28/2009
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Yeah, my post was mostly my own opinion on my own desires, not exactly a guide to contacting subs...so maybe I was of some help to him, maybe not. What I do know is quite a few subs just like me. Enough so that I know my own desires are more than a generalization.

(in reply to sexyred1)

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RE: Contacting Submissives on Collarme - 9/26/2010 7:17:15 PM

Bravado

Posts: 87
Joined: 6/15/2010
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The fact that you often can't start a casual conversation on simple terms such as asking a question about their profile or making a friendly remark tells me that people are unwilling to put forth any effort in getting to know someone else.

Anyone that lazy or negligent of opportunities is probably not the kind of person I'd appreciate. In the very least, I expect any decent person to be friendly until otherwise they are given a reason not to be!

(in reply to Needapersonalpet)

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RE: Contacting Submissives on Collarme - 9/26/2010 10:36:07 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
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That is one dead sexy hand, Bravado.

pam

(in reply to Bravado)

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RE: Contacting Submissives on Collarme - 10/3/2010 12:09:25 AM

LuneRune

Posts: 33
Joined: 8/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

My goal when I contact someone for the first time is to tell them a bit about who I am and why I am interested in them and more importantly to show that I view them as a person first and foremost. I have noticed a tendency to not show such respect to submissives on this site and that bothers me. However, I have also noticed that emails that emphasize that I am interested in girls who respect themselves and who expect to be treated with respect and courtesy (at least at first!) do not get much of a response.

I'd say be yourself, and don't worry about what the majority do or don't do. In fact - take it as a given that the majority are not here for the same reasons you are and besides - less work for you. Who would want to skim through a load of bs to find that one person that they connect with?

(in reply to KyttynTheMynx)

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RE: Contacting Submissives on Collarme - 10/3/2010 8:30:32 AM

LadyRian

Posts: 486
Joined: 9/5/2010
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Dominants are people too. I don't know why some of us seem to be so reluctant to admit that to a potential submissive. I don't want to be some stereotypical fantasy fodder Domme. I want to just be me.

I contact people whom I find interesting, and enjoy talking to, but I don't automatically assume that because I've contacted someone who's attracted my attention that it's going to immediately "go somewhere", those things take time. I'm a somewhat reticent and easy going person, not a 24 hour Drill sergeant. Some of the subs who've contacted me seem to imply that they're looking for such. My advice there is to please join the Army.

I've always been interested in the differences in the dynamic between male Doms interacting with female subs, and female Dommes interacting with male subs. A lot of the advice given here seems applicable to both, but is there anything specific that would apply to contacting male subs?

_____________________________

"Dodging bullets since 2010"

(in reply to LuneRune)

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