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Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 2:38:58 PM

DarkSteven

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I've known too many women that get squirmy and uncomfortable when complimented. I'd like to help my next sub get past that, if she's got that problem.

I foresee a scene in which I make a submissive strip naked, and compliment her on aspects of her body, her style, her sense of humor, etc., and she is forced to reply "Thank you" to each one. I don't know what you'd call a scene like that, sort of an antihumiliation scene.

Anyone ever do something like that? It sounds hot as hell to me.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

Post #: 1

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 2:47:05 PM

Focus50

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From: Newcastle, Australia
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Well I'm confused....

You mean a submissive you're seeing naked for the first time?

And by "antihumiliation", you mean a submissive you feel might have body-image issues...?

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 2

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 3:15:46 PM

mstrjx

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Actually, I think I can improve on that, if just slightly.

In my experience, in my opinion, just me, and any other disclaimer before I get jumped, it seems to me (there I go again) that most women find it easier to be completely naked, but find it harder (more vulnerable) to be in lingerie.

Put a woman already feeling uneasy being in lingerie, then start with the compliments. Because it is true, robed or disrobed, part of the deliciousness of being with submissive women (new especially) is that they have to be comfortable with themself.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 3

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 3:18:07 PM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Well I'm confused....

You mean a submissive you're seeing naked for the first time?

And by "antihumiliation", you mean a submissive you feel might have body-image issues...?

Focus.

Not the first time. Hell, no. This would be a woman with whom I have an ongoing relationship. The nakedness is to make her vulnerable.

Humiliation breaks someone down. I want to build her up.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 4

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 3:28:13 PM

Twoshoes

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Yes, I've heard about this before. You could go further and ask her to complinent herself instead. It's similiar to the "say you're pretty" game.

Have you read the Emotional Sadism thread? I think this qualifies, since complimenting yourself can indeed cause frustration, blushing or humiliation..

You might want to be careful, since there seemed to be an agreement that playing with someone's self-esteem should probably be limited to people with inherently good self-esteem.

I realize you're trying increase it but how would you know that she isn't thanking you for humiliating her...?

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 9/10/2010 3:50:04 PM >

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 5

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 3:32:10 PM

sweetsub1957

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx
In my experience, in my opinion, just me, and any other disclaimer before I get jumped, it seems to me (there I go again) that most women find it easier to be completely naked, but find it harder (more vulnerable) to be in lingerie.

And then there are some of us that can handle being in lingerie but are mortified and acutely embarrassed to be completely naked. blushing If I were ordered to be completely naked, I'd be begging profusely for lingerie!

~sweetsub~

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to mstrjx)

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RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 3:35:02 PM

Focus50

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From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Well I'm confused....

You mean a submissive you're seeing naked for the first time?

And by "antihumiliation", you mean a submissive you feel might have body-image issues...?

Focus.

Not the first time. Hell, no. This would be a woman with whom I have an ongoing relationship. The nakedness is to make her vulnerable.

Humiliation breaks someone down. I want to build her up.

This starts to sound like relationship "thin ice"....

You don't think a woman you're actually in a relationship with might see a bigger picture? That maybe you're trying a bit too hard to "fix" something not necessarily broken...? A compliment is one thing but "I want to build her up" brings self-esteem (or lack of) into play. Anyone of average intelligence will pick up on that....

The thing about a genuine compliment is mostly the sincerity it's delivered with, esp from your own partner. They *know* you, that gives their bullshit-meter fine tuned sensitivity....

The nakedness = vulnerability thing is easy to grasp in any D/s relationship. False platitudes, incl anything remotely ressembling minute insincerity, is courting danger.... Be veeeeeery careful.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 7

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 3:42:33 PM

Focus50

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From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

And then there are some of us that can handle being in lingerie but are mortified and acutely embarrassed to be completely naked. blushing If I were ordered to be completely naked, I'd be begging profusely for lingerie!

Ahhh, you submissives play perfectly into our hands.... lol Yet another reason for being fully clothed while she gets to wear heels and a smile, esp a sheepish one.

I like being a Dom anyway but if subs insist on doing all their own headspace for me....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 8

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 4:00:45 PM

sweetsub1957

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_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 9

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 4:17:21 PM

peacefulplace

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This idea is wonderful. Amazing. Incredible.

Women are told every day by the media how flawed their bodies are. For a Dom/Master to compliment each and every part of a sub's body is heavenly. Lingerie or not, this is very, very hot, and, depending on your sub, very, very reassuring.

It might just lead to the best sex EVER because she feels so good about herself and confident in her body as being beautiful.

_____________________________

If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.
~~Emma Goldman

One thing is clear to me: We, as human beings, must be willing to accept people who are different from ourselves.
~~Barbara Jordan

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 10

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 4:28:31 PM

VaguelyCurious

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I haven't done a full scene like this, but I'm familiar with the concept from up close and personal-I have a rule that nobody who is with me is allowed to deny a compliment I give them. They have to accept it with good grace, no matter how much it makes them blush.

(

<--illustration of blushing lady)

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(in reply to peacefulplace)

Post #: 11

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 4:32:57 PM

styxxUK

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Maybe I am missing something here - but the idea of this being a "scene" somehow sounds somewhat wrong to me. Would it not be better to simply tell her every day whilst shopping / when you go out together ..... and in more inimates respects whilst sessioning her how beautiful she (and her body) is ??

(in reply to peacefulplace)

Post #: 12

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 4:34:07 PM

Aynne88

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quote:

ORIGINAL: peacefulplace

This idea is wonderful. Amazing. Incredible.

Women are told every day by the media how flawed their bodies are. For a Dom/Master to compliment each and every part of a sub's body is heavenly. Lingerie or not, this is very, very hot, and, depending on your sub, very, very reassuring.

It might just lead to the best sex EVER because she feels so good about herself and confident in her body as being beautiful.

It's pretty hot and has all the ingredients of a good moment. Kind of embarrassing to be all "analyzed", a bit warm and fuzzy at the same time, hot to be closely "inspected" and lovely to be complimented by the man that loves us. I think it's a great idea Steven.

.

Of course I love being naked too....

.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
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(in reply to peacefulplace)

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RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 5:11:11 PM

Twoshoes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: styxxUK
Maybe I am missing something here - but the idea of this being a "scene" somehow sounds somewhat wrong to me.

Notice this:

quote:

The nakedness is to make her vulnerable.

Personally, I believe this requires people with inherently good self-esteem and only during scenes if you're going to actually involve their self-doubt.
I don't think VaguelyCurious's rule involves much self-doubt.
I believe DarkSteven's approach might include a tiny bit self-doubt.

There is any number of ways to be doing this that include vulnerability.
- Asking them to thank you for compliments like Steven described.
- Complimenting themselves for specific things. Could involve objectification.
- Teasing and denying someone until they actually say that they are "The most beautiful woman" or "really pretty". (something out of the beautiful/pretty/sexy/smart category).

Would you rather be beaten with something or have to compliment yourself? Sometimes pain is preferable to emotional vulnerability.

Yeah, I am jerk.

But I'm thoughtful - it nearly evens out, I hope...

The who and the how are important.

(in reply to styxxUK)

Post #: 14

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 5:15:21 PM

VaguelyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

I don't think VaguelyCurious's rule involves much self-doubt.

If you think that then you've never been in a position where your opinion *really* matters to the person you're giving it to.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 15

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 5:17:54 PM

Tantriqu

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Lol, yes! And it's the same with good men.

Your scenario is one of my favourite memories! A good man, a polite alpha at work, previously vanilla but willing to try ANYthing. Could NOT take a compliment, literally, until naked, bound to a chair, wincing every time I complimented him, unable to meet my gaze.

I: you have a beautiful mouth.
he, wincing, turning away 'No . . . '
(correction)
I: I SAID, you have a beautiful mouth
he: 'Thank You. I . . . I have a nice mouth. . .
(correction)
he: I apologise. I have . . . (whispers) a beautiful mouth.
I, nipping his neck, purring in his ear: 'Louder . . . '

And so on, top to bottom.

Very, VERY hot!

And then afterwards, complimenting him in public and watching his blushing reaction: delicious!

Everyone knows the best lovers have average-to-slightly smaller penises, and the biggest dicks have the biggest dicks.
Compliment your new lover on his penis, and you'll soon know what to make of him. If he says, 'HELL, yes!', he'll be crap in bed. If he turns away, blushes, makes a deprecating moue and winces, 'No!', ladies, that man is a go-er! Like the old Avis ads, '5.5": we try harder!'

(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 16

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 5:20:09 PM

VaguelyCurious

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I loves me some Tantriqu spirit.

You rock, woman

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 17

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 5:29:53 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: styxxUK

Maybe I am missing something here - but the idea of this being a "scene" somehow sounds somewhat wrong to me. Would it not be better to simply tell her every day whilst shopping / when you go out together ..... and in more inimates respects whilst sessioning her how beautiful she (and her body) is ??

Dunno which is better. Your suggestion involves something low intensity, repeated often, in places that are public and everyday. I'm talking intense sessions in places under my control. The end result should be the same but the headspace will be very different.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to styxxUK)

Post #: 18

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 5:33:00 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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It wouldn't work with me, since I don't have issues accepting compliments, but more so than that, I don't find being nude a thing that makes me feel vulnerable.

I am a nudist, and if I can handle walking around family at the age of 27 butt naked, then I can handle being in front of my lover butt naked lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Not the first time. Hell, no. This would be a woman with whom I have an ongoing relationship. The nakedness is to make her vulnerable.

Humiliation breaks someone down. I want to build her up.

_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 19

RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/10/2010 5:37:40 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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He's not attempting to humiliate her, and she's not supposed to find it humiliating, she's supposed to find it up lifting and loving.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

I realize you're trying increase it but how would you know that she isn't thanking you for humiliating her...?

_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 20

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