Marriage, Sub and Slaves

Marriage, Sub and Slaves (Full Version)

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SirGuy68 -> Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/11/2010 7:51:39 AM)
Taking into consideration the current divorce laws in the US would you marry, from a life style point of view, a sub / slave? If so why, or why not.. What are you views, pro or con, that you see affecting a life style relationship? I ask this of men, masters, males. Be Well

BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/11/2010 8:04:07 AM)
NO Myself and Diane are currently seprated and it not looking very good..She is a slave to me but a domme to all others,No I will never marry again for my heart belong to her..It is good for an alpha to be married to her owner, But one must protect not only his property but his heart..Bounty

xkittenx -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/11/2010 9:42:38 AM)
What laws, specifically, are you asking about please?

Nineveh -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/11/2010 10:42:07 AM)
I am already married to someone who is not a sub, so no, I suppose not. If I were not already married then I certainly would consider it.

leadership527 -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/11/2010 10:52:54 AM)
Well, I'm already married... we were vanilla before I collared my wife. If I look forward in time, I can't really imagine why I'd have enough respect and love to offer a slave collar to some woman without also wanting to marry her.

DesFIP -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/11/2010 6:44:19 PM)
If you can't inspire her submission and are afraid that once you've married you can't coerce obedience by threatening to kick her out penniless on the street, you don't deserve her. Decent men don't seek to threaten a woman with poverty and homelessness to get her to spread her legs. Only abusers do that. Dominance has nothing to do with this.

AquaticSub -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/11/2010 7:17:46 PM)
Valyraen is currently busy and I'm allowed to answer for him so... Obviously Val is ok with marrying his property as he married me (yay, nearly our one-year anniversy!!). For us and ours, it's not a threat to our power dynamic but a symbol of a lifelong commitment not only to be with each other but to build a family together. We believe that the marriage doesn't change anything. It simply protects us, and the children we want to have, should our relationship dissolve and allows us to make legal decisions for the other. As his girlfriend/sub/slave, I have little say in his care should he be put in his coma. As his wife, I can make sure things are done exactly as he wants. It's only a pity that we can't offer that same protection as easily to other partners and the children we might have/parent with them should our poly unit expand.

SirGuy68 -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/11/2010 7:24:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xkittenx What laws, specifically, are you asking about please? Other than Texas and a few other states, divorce law can get very messy and expensive for the party with any money. If a sub / slave of the life style, one day awoke and decided she wants out . . . It takes two to have a conversation but one to have an argument. If the system were to fuel her desire to leave or 'get even' with a good attorney (translated knows how to get money) I've wondered if the work, the attraction, the desire that was built, is now moot or even worse yet turned against you (the Master) by current divorce laws. quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP If you can't inspire her submission and are afraid that once you've married you can't coerce obedience by threatening to kick her out penniless on the street, you don't deserve her. Decent men don't seek to threaten a woman with poverty and homelessness to get her to spread her legs. Only abusers do that. Dominance has nothing to do with this. I am thinking of not the Master threatening her, but the inverse, she is now in charge as she has a lot of clout with the legal system. Perhaps to be more blunt, does any one else feel the legal system can hurt your life style, your relationship as Master and sub. I suppose the converse? Converse/Inverse? - I always confused the two - would be a Domme marries her sub and uses the legal system in addition to her slaves submission to control him. And no, I am not married, or considering it responding to a private email. Be Well

SirGuy68 -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/11/2010 7:34:46 PM)
Valyraen, It was very refreshing to hear some positive lifestyle and marriage feed back. And congratulations on your up coming one year anniversary. Be Well

wandersalone -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/11/2010 7:36:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirGuy68 quote: ORIGINAL: xkittenx What laws, specifically, are you asking about please? Other than Texas and a few other states, divorce law can get very messy and expensive for the party with any money. If a sub / slave of the life style, one day awoke and decided she wants out . . . It takes two to have a conversation but one to have an argument. If the system were to fuel her desire to leave or 'get even' with a good attorney (translated knows how to get money) I've wondered if the work, the attraction, the desire that was built, is now moot or even worse yet turned against you (the Master) by current divorce laws. Just a fyi.... in a lot of cases it can be the female (domme or submissive) who has the significantly bigger bank balance and assets, with a lot of my friends and myself included this is the case so it wont always be the male that is at risk. With both examples (male master and female domme) it sounds like you are assuming that it is the female that is going to try and take the person to the cleaners. I have seen a lot of cases where it happens the other way as well. It doesn't mean that I will view every relationship as a possible future legal battle as that would prevent me from living my life in the moment and giving myself fully to the relationship and that seems sad. (fyi - I am not a Master so feel free to skip my post) [:)] edited to add a couple of words

Shadow-tiger -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/11/2010 7:56:28 PM)
I'm not a very big proponent of marriage, as I believe it's more of a confirmation for people outside the relationship. It has nothing to do with a D/s or M/s power dynamic to me, more of a commitment. Perhaps these days I'm a bit soured on marriage, being divorced. But even before that I felt it would take someone significant before I considered marriage. Eh, it's just another layer of committing to a relationship for the long term. If I found someone special enough to commit to that totally, it wouldn't be just because she's submissive to me.

DarkSteven -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/11/2010 7:57:20 PM)
I don't understand the question. Divorce is nasty, but I don't see what her being a sub/slave has to do with anything.

xkittenx -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/11/2010 8:16:55 PM)
I'm not a male or a master, however I have had experiences with this sort of thing. I won't live with or give control of my finances to a man who isn't my husband. Several years ago I was homeless, penniless and terrified. Why? Because my Master who didn't believe in marrying a slave or allowing a slave to have a job or money of her own decided he no longer wanted me. He gave me 14 days to find somewhere to go. The problem was, I was over a thousand miles away from my family and I had no friends since he never let me go anywhere without him. It was awful. Words cannot describe. I feel that if you're going to seriously take control of someone's life, she or he should be someone you also want to marry. It shouldn't be so easy to just discard people when you're done.

sexyred1 -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/11/2010 9:28:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xkittenx I'm not a male or a master, however I have had experiences with this sort of thing. I won't live with or give control of my finances to a man who isn't my husband. Several years ago I was homeless, penniless and terrified. Why? Because my Master who didn't believe in marrying a slave or allowing a slave to have a job or money of her own decided he no longer wanted me. He gave me 14 days to find somewhere to go. The problem was, I was over a thousand miles away from my family and I had no friends since he never let me go anywhere without him. It was awful. Words cannot describe. I feel that if you're going to seriously take control of someone's life, she or he should be someone you also want to marry. It shouldn't be so easy to just discard people when you're done. This is why I would never recommend that someone give up their job, finances, friends, family or home to be with someone. Love does not conquer all. Common sense and self protection should be paramount to anything else.

SirGuy68 -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/11/2010 11:54:05 PM)
at Dark Steven. My initial question that I was curious of, like all things permanent, has changed with the ideas that others have given. I have different thoughts now. Originally I was wondering what other men/Masters thought about marriage and how it could affect the lifestyle of Masters when the legal system gets involved when the female sub or slave decides she no longer loves her Master or wants out. How much does the threat of the legal system play a part in your decision of marriage to your sub/slave? Perhaps it does not really matter what some old coot with hemorrhoids and a robe thinks or piece of paper says if the world you have created, the life Y/you have made with two that is now one has become. Why worry about what you don't know that has not happened yet? But I still like my definition of bachelor. A bachelor. A man who HAS thought seriously about marriage ;) Be Well

Elisabella -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/12/2010 12:25:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xkittenx I won't live with or give control of my finances to a man who isn't my husband. Good for you. It blows my mind when I see guys who expect that level of commitment without offering the same.

DarkSteven -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/12/2010 6:52:50 AM)
My ex sub could find another Master in a week should she need to do so, and knows that she could stay with me if a crisis arose. But that does not stop her current Master and I from discussing her skill set, and what sort of work she could perform given her disability. A good Master makes sure that his slave will be all right should something happen to him.

xkittenx -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/12/2010 11:00:17 AM)
Thats so cool, Steven. I don't know of very many doms (or men, period) who are willing to put effort into ensuring the well being of an ex.

DesFIP -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/12/2010 3:00:08 PM)
What I said. You live with her for years, the relationship dissolves due to whatever reasons, and he doesn't want her to get a red cent. If she's a sub, he can tell her to go live in her car for all he cares, assuming it's even in her name. If she's married she can't be treated that cavalierly. Get a pre-nup if you are actually an oil baron. But nobody who is focused on ending the marriage is ready for a new relationship. You're so focused on things going badly that you aren't going to be able to make the relationship succeed. Get some therapy to heal from your last relationship before bringing this much baggage into someone else's life. Oh and if you aren't demanding a barely legal trophy wife type, but looked for values and ethics instead of a barbie doll, then it's unlikely she would seek anything except her just due. Which is half the increase of the estate while you were married. So if you're valued at $500,000 before the marriage and $750,000 at the demise, she's entitled to $125,000. That's standard pre-nup assuming no children. Having children dissolves the pre-nup. This protects both of you.

NuevaVida -> RE: Marriage, Sub and Slaves (9/12/2010 4:35:43 PM)
I actually don't see this as an M/s question at all, but a general question - should people get married and how do you protect your assets so you don't get screwed should you divorce. Unless you think equipping a slave with legal entitlement should you divorce is going to affect your dominance over her while things are good...then I'd wonder just how good things really were. You either have dominance over her or you don't. Whether or not you're married shouldn't really matter in that equation. Your marriage will either succeed or it won't. Whether or not she's a submissive or slave won't matter if it doesn't.

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