quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

To me, the relationship is by itself enough of a factor that either you talk to both of them, or you don't play with just one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Everyone says that the op was right to exclude talking the the girl's partner because he isn't her owner. What if it was a nonpower husband? Would she still be right to exclude him? A sub/sub pair? They are regular partners which means they have some kind of relationship. To me, the relationship is by itself enough of a factor that either you talk to both of them, or you don't play with just one.

I can see that the op didn't want to say to this girl, "I want to play with you but I'm not willing to talk to Joe because he's a fucktard" or whatever, but that doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy being regular partners with him. You either play the hand you're dealt or you fold.

quote:

ORIGINAL: atractivenuisane
As to this thread, I'd come by looking for a bit of support, some suggestions, maybe a smidgen of sympathy. The responses I got were generally none of the above, so I'll accept that the thread was ill-conceived, public play isn't for me, and that collarme, while sometimes great, is sometimes not that great for advice.

quote:

ORIGINAL: atractivenuisane

To answer the questions, this is a purely BDSM club, although I don't know who self-identifies as a swinger rather than a kinkster. I'd seen several scenes on the couches that evening and others, so I presumed it was a place to play (probably not to be swinging floggers).
I thought this was your first trip to the club? I am reading this as other evenings, not other players. Correct me if I am misreading that.

As to me not piping up at the time, I didn't know then I'd still be carrying a grudge about that a full month later.
Why exactly are you still carrying a grudge?  To me, there is a big diffrence between carrying a grudge and feeling traumatized, which is how your orginial post read.
 
As to not playing with my friend in the future, I don't know about you all, but I'm not so overloaded with cute subbie women that I can ditch one just because she has issues respecting boundaries.
 It really makes me question what exactly happened that night to make you have such a strong reaction. I am not talking about the dick sucking itself, rather what transpired between you and her to cause you to still be upset with her play partner a month later. There has to be some sort of a history between you and it seems like pieces of the story have been left out.

As to this thread, I'd come by looking for a bit of support, some suggestions, maybe a smidgeon of sympathy. The responses I got were generally none of the above, so I'll accept that the thread was ill-concieved, public play isn't for me, and that collarme, while sometimes great, is sometimes not that great for advice.
I disagree, we are not always going to agree on cm and sometimes we hear things we don't want to hear, but that does not mean its bad advice.

quote:

ORIGINAL: atractivenuisane

As to this thread, I'd come by looking for a bit of support, some suggestions, maybe a smidgeon of sympathy. The responses I got were generally none of the above, so I'll accept that the thread was ill-concieved, public play isn't for me, and that collarme, while sometimes great, is sometimes not that great for advice.