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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

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ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

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As for shifting out of submission due to an orgasm...that is an odd one to me, and I don't understand how that could occur.  It would seem unless they are role-playing and not full time submitting, they would always feel submissive.

See, that's my way of thinking also... but I have talked to so many that have come right out and told me that once they get off it's the testosterone highway all the way and until that "rush" is over with they are just not in the submissive mindset. I just don't understand it I guess, perhaps I'm just talking to the wrong people?

Sorry, typo... grrrrr

Maybe it's a hormone shift that occurs afterwards.  But then I am not male, nor a hormone specialist, so what the hell do I know, lol.

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Without being a mind-reader of said person, I would not consider them to be submissive. As you said, a short "down time" is one thing... but days? Nope.

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ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

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Without being a mind-reader of said person, I would not consider them to be submissive. As you said, a short "down time" is one thing... but days? Nope.

Level, I would have to agree with you here. Not to cloud the water anymore then it already is, but maybe we are looking for more of an M/s type relationship rather then one that is mainly the BDSM type.
 
~~Grabs the asbestos suit and waits...~~

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ORIGINAL: Level

.... and hey, I like you and Scooter's new pics, by the way.
 
Level

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ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash

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ORIGINAL: Level

.... and hey, I like you and Scooter's new pics, by the way.
 
Level

Hey..you aren't supposed to be looking at mine, just her's...ha ha.

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ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

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As for shifting out of submission due to an orgasm...that is an odd one to me, and I don't understand how that could occur.  It would seem unless they are role-playing and not full time submitting, they would always feel submissive.

See, that's my way of thinking also... but I have talked to so many that have come right out and told me that once they get off it's the testosterone highway all the way and until that "rush" is over with they are just not in the submissive mindset. I just don't understand it I guess, perhaps I'm just talking to the wrong people?

Sorry, typo... grrrrr

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ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

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Is my submission sexual? That would be a clear definate yes. But there really needs to be a personal, emotional, connection with the woman for it to be a truely satify experience

I truly appreciate your response, and I understand what you are saying here. We were having this discussion here last night.. which is the reason behind the post, and one of the things I brought up and am still wondering about has a lot to do with your response. You state that to be truly satisfying there has to be an emotional bond with the woman you are submitting to.. and I think that's great, that's the way I feel as well... But.... Just as an example here, ok? If a female slave says she is just not in the mood (not that I see that happening) and the male owner wants to have sex anyway, well, lets be real here, there are countless lubes on the market and whether she's in the mood or not she is still "usable"... right? But, if a male slave is just plain not in the mood his "usability" (you like my new words here?) is questionable. So, now you have to at least get him physically stimulated enough that the female dominant can have sex... do you see where I am going here?

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No, I don't expect male submissives to be machines, I love the humanity and masculinity of men, what I'm asking is whether or not there are different submissive mindsets between males and females... or even between different male sub/slaves? Is it as common as it appears to be that men are motivated strictly by sexual interaction as opposed to pure mental enjoyment of simply serving? And does that mindset change all that much simply because the sexual desire has been met?

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asking is whether or not there are different submissive mindsets between males and females... or even between different male sub/slaves

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his "usability" (you like my new words here?) is questionabl

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ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

I’ve talked to a lot of male submissive/slaves and the one thing that I keep hearing is that they “need” to be in chastity. I won’t pretend to even slightly understand this way of thinking, that’s why I’m asking here. Is an orgasm the on/off switch for a male submissive? Do you loose your sub/slave mindset, even for a little while, after getting off? I’ve heard of female dominants that keep their males in chastity most of the time and on the occasion that they do allow them to get off they then spend a week beating them back into submission. But in the same respect I know of many female sub/slaves that don’t have any issue at all with it, they can get off dozens of times and never loose that state of mind, granted they may loose the ability to walk or stand upright for a bit, but they hold to their sub/slave mindset. I’d be thrilled if someone could explain this to me. I mean other then “it’s the nature of the beast” crap that I keep hearing. If it’s the nature of the beast then where does that put their submission? Does that imply that a male’s submission is more physical then mental? Does your submission stem from sexual desire or need rather then the mental need to serve or be submissive? And if so, where does that leave the female dominant that enjoys a male’s orgasm?

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ORIGINAL: Smythe


This has been exactly my experience with male subs, teego. For some reason, submission and eagerness to please is at a high point before orgasm, and then there is a brief recovery. I don't find anything wrong with this, but only try to use it for my own purposes in order to maximize how much fun I am having.

As for long term chastity, I have heard many say that after a long enough period of enforced chastity, desire wanes, and the boy will become ...hmm.. is "de-sexualized" a word? I think that the idea of males being kept in chastity and allowed out once a year for a little treat spurt is mostly stuff of fiction.

The best thing about chastity is playing with it...teasing, allowing satisfaction at random and unpredictable times, and so on, always letting the male know that the control resides with me...not that he will never be permitted to spurt.

Smythe

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ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion


I being a dominant woman that enjoys all aspects of the build up, control & eventual release of a man's orgasm had a very difficult time with his immediate transition from super sub to dare I say... Al Bundy.

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At one point I felt this way as well. When I orgasm'd, my submissive desires seemed to go away. What I discovered was that it wasn't actually all true. My sexual intensity towards my submissive desires tapered off, but I was still submissive; I just happened to be with women at the time who seemed to end it at the orgasm moment.

I didn't notice a difference until I became a live-in slave where it makes a huge difference after you've been allowed an orgasm and THEN she tells you to clean yourself up and then locks you away for the night. The whole "I got mine and bye bye" thought goes away awfully fast in this type of arrangement.

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Personally the idea of having a woman with whom I could have sex with when ever I wanted is a teenagers fantasy. However as the submissive male I am, dominating her simply doesn't click for me. So as a suggestion, coming from a suby, if he isn't "usable", put his mouth to work, or strap a dildoe on him and ride him like the piece of slave meet he is. ;) If he objects his attitude needs to be adjusted by you.

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i will say this-- after an orgasm, i suddenly am much more relunctant to do things i would have done without question before. Is it an on/off switch? Not really... for me at least, after an orgasm, i'll still do what i'm told, but with less enthusiasm (about some things, at least).

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Its a great question and to be honest i don't really have a direct answer for you other than to say that I do experience a let down in my submissive desires to some degree after having an orgasm. My Mistress is also very aware of this and because of this she sort of schedules the times she allows me to"finish" with say the end of a long weekend where her needs have been met and there is some time for me to sort of recharge for a day or so. Perhaps it has something to do with a sort of sub space trance like quality that I seem to get into and somehow the orgasm shocks me out of that? As I said I really don't know for sure why that drop off occurs in me but I agree with you that it does.

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I read your post & the first thing I thought of was the delightful yet frustrating man I was involved with for a short time. I called him the bedroom submissive.  He was the most compliant, gracious & attentive boy I could ever dream of having but if he released he was just good ol' Dave.

I being a dominant woman that enjoys all aspects of the build up, control & eventual release of a man's orgasm had a very difficult time with his immediate transition from super sub to dare I say... Al Bundy.

Ultimately we went our separate ways but during the time we were involved I just refused to have him release in my presence & I would hold him off from doing so until I phoned him later that day or evening after we got together. I could always tell if he had obeyed this because his change was so dramatic I could even hear it in his voice.

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I think Smythe strikes the right balance here.  Short term chastity, teasing and denial, can make the man much more attentive to, and focused upon, the woman who controls his pain and pleasure (which are sometimes the same thing).  But, in order for the power to provide release to engender obedience, that power has to be exercised, at least occassionally, so that the man knows that she does, in fact, hold the key to his pleasure.  If the reward is never given, if it is unobtainable, the one seeking it may eventually stop trying.  It would seem more effective training to drive home the point that it can be given or denied as the domme sees fit.

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ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion
I read your post & the first thing I thought of was the delightful yet frustrating man I was involved with for a short time. I called him the bedroom submissive.  He was the most compliant, gracious & attentive boy I could ever dream of having but if he released he was just good ol' Dave.

I being a dominant woman that enjoys all aspects of the build up, control & eventual release of a man's orgasm had a very difficult time with his immediate transition from super sub to dare I say... Al Bundy.

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ORIGINAL: Kedikat

The male orgasm seems to be an on off switch for many modes of our behaviour :) Dominant/sub and all the shades in between.