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mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 1:43:40 PM   
gungadin09


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Do you ever find yourself just... not being able to stop? First of all, let me say that i try to be pretty polite on the forums. (At least i think i'm being polite...) But then there are threads where i feel like i just HAVE to be right. i have to prove that i'm right. i want everybody to SEE that i'm right. I'm RIGHT, goddamn it, right, and SO, SO smart. Please everybody pat me on the head and give me a cookie. i'm RIGHT. And then i keep going back and reading what i wrote, because i just have to hear one more time how right i was.

Okay, there are aspects of my personality that i don't like. One of them is this competitive, vain, obsessive, approval seeking side that comes out sometimes on the forums. It's like i've got something to prove. i just can't let it go. WHY can't i let it go?

Okay, "mouthing off" might be an exaggeration. i'm usually not CONFRONTATIONAL or anything. Like i said, i'm usually polite. Usually. Part of what i'm feeling might just be the guilt associated with being assertive. Deep down i'm still uncomfortable expressing views that are in opposition to other people's. i was brought up to believe that doing that was being a "brat". Part of it is the fact that the forums can be a snarky place. People can overreact. (pam winces and waits for the shit to hit the fan...) You have to be a little bit careful what you say around here. You say, "boo!", and you're bound to offend 10 people. (..hides under the covers.)

But i think the biggest thing is insecurity. i NEED people to like me. Even people i don't even know and probably won't ever meet. i NEED people to think i'm smart, and funny, and special, etc. i NEED other people's approval, to some extent. Hey, i didn't say i'm proud of this. You have no idea the rush of happiness i get from reading the little red words "new messages". Hahaha. Yes, i KNOW that's pathetic!

That's why i'm so obsessive about the forums, why i edit my posts two or three times, and then spend the rest of the day overanalyzing them. That's why i'm on collarme too much (besides not working full time...), and why i think about collarme too much. i just don't have a life right now, and i NEED other people's approval. Ah, well. At least i'm honest.

Not much of a post; really more of a confession. But i'd be curious to know: does anyone else out there feel like they might be taking this a little TOO seriously?

pam
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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 1:53:15 PM   
Outlier2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

But i'd be curious to know: does anyone else out there feel like they might be taking this a little TOO seriously?

pam


The thought never occurred to me.







Attachment (1)

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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 1:58:33 PM   
Twoshoes


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pam

OCD. Relax.
Chill.

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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 2:47:44 PM   
Wolf2Bear


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The occasions where I find I get too argumentative and angry that is when I take a hiatus from the site anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. 

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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 3:19:28 PM   
sub4hire


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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

does anyone else out there feel like they might be taking this a little TOO seriously?

pam


Not at all.  There are truly stupid people everywhere.  I know who I am and I know if I am right.  No point in arguing with someone who will never see the light.  Its easier to walk away..go outside and do something fun. 


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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 3:23:46 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

But i'd be curious to know: does anyone else out there feel like they might be taking this a little TOO seriously?

pam


Sometimes. That's usually when I step away for awhile. Though I've been on here for awhile so I try to post those threads and deliberately avoid posting on them. There are also certain people that I just try to not get into things with because it never ends well.

I think, for me, it's because I can get extremely passionate about things.

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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 4:12:18 PM   
almira


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i used to think like that.

but now i dont give a shit what ppl think of my posts or opinions

most ppl dont read my posts enway.

and since no one responds i got nothing to take too seriously lol

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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 4:13:20 PM   
mnottertail


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I will hold your tits if it helps.

seriously.

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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 4:22:50 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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I try to be reasonable and polite. I also avoid the parts of the boards that will make my head explode.

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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 4:23:47 PM   
BentUnit


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<wicked grin>

And sometimes it's just fun to poke dumb animals with sticks.



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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 4:24:29 PM   
mstrjx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

Does anyone else out there feel like they might be taking this a little TOO seriously?


It depends on what you mean by 'this'.

I can rattle off posts pretty easily. Some are meant to dig a pitchfork in when it's needed, some are meant to be obtuse so people don't actually 'feel' the pitchfork going in (those are the best), some are meant to be helpful and/or pithy, and the sum total of which is meant to garner me enough of a shred of attention to give me something to work with (should that fateful day ever come again).

The words are easy. It's the checking back to see if someone got caught in the bear trap that takes way too much time.

Oh, and I'm also here to hold up Ron's arms when they get tired. And it looks like they will eventually.

Jeff

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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 4:42:58 PM   
DomImus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09
Not much of a post; really more of a confession. But I'd be curious to know: does anyone else out there feel like they might be taking this a little TOO seriously?


It sounds like you may take it too seriously. Not I. I don't often revisit threads to post again and I never engage in the multi-page back and forth crusades that are so popular here. I figure it this way: if the other party doesn't understand that I am right on their own then no amount of my belaboring the point is going to improve their cognitive skills.

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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 4:43:17 PM   
Aileen1968


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From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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I could care less what people think of my opinions.
There are a ton of threads that I post once on, giving my point of view and then don't return to again.
My point of view is just that. My point of view.
It certainly isn't more important or correct than anyone elses. (Except for the loony POV's. Then, my POV is the one you should listen to)

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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 6:29:15 PM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
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I have personally come to the conclusion that the Collarme and the lower end of the message boards in particular is for me an OCD.

Sometimes it is I think I will come on line and see what is happening, I automatically log into Collarme, my first port of call as it has been for the past five years, then I think Politics and Religion, do I really want to go there, but I always do, every time and to an extent, it sours my day. I have asked myself many times why I keep going there when it is so negative to me and have only come to the conclusion that I, like so many others just likes bad news. It is as if I/we need to be winging, moaning, criticizing and engaging others in more negativity, the negativity in the world and the negativity that is down there in Politics and Religion, for there I have detected, it is pretty rife, but so addictive.

I find when I do post, I try to post with thought and consideration, this is generally my way, but sometimes and I do admit this, I can become irrational, like I have been sucked into a war that just has to be won, when I notice this within myself, I pull away and not post for a while, something which to me has become a regular pattern, and friends on here have noticed the cycle and took the trouble to inform me the familiar cycle is upon me again. I used to get annoyed when I was told I was becoming a bit unhinged, but now I am at least beginning to recognise it in myself.

But one thing I have noticed which is a positive, when I go through the familiar feelings of why do I come to this place just to get grumpy, it always ends up in creativity, as if my creativity is fuelled by anger and confusion. Subconsciously I may know my creativity stems from the negatives in life, hence the draw to this place and the P&R forum in particular, but as a day to day need, I question myself often.

I do suffer depression and that stemming from a need to avoid anxiety by avoidance methods, my vicious circle, I also have Aspergers Syndrome and Dyspraxia, myself believing the former, depression et al being caused by the latter the different way of thinking in a world where common thought is championed.

But if it wasn't for this place over the last five years, I would not have learned our big brothers and sisters, the Americans are just like ourselves in many ways. I may come across to some as Yank bashing in my postings, but it is not done in a mean way,it is just a Brit thing, those we feel comfortable with, we take the piss out of. My personal problem is, I cannot see when I am annoying people.

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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 6:50:05 PM   
JustifiedAncient


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Joined: 9/15/2010
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quote:

Do you ever find yourself just... not being able to stop? First of all, let me say that i try to be pretty polite on the forums. (At least i think i'm being polite...) But then there are threads where i feel like i just HAVE to be right. i have to prove that i'm right. i want everybody to SEE that i'm right. I'm RIGHT, goddamn it, right, and SO, SO smart. Please everybody pat me on the head and give me a cookie. i'm RIGHT. And then i keep going back and reading what i wrote, because i just have to hear one more time how right i was.


I get like that, but not here so much.  Getting emotionally involved at CM strikes me as getting emotionally involved in an episode of Saved by the Bell (I am Zack Morris in this analogy).  There are some ups and downs, some jokes that work and some that don't, but at the end, even if it's a Very Special Episode about the dangers of diet pills, nothing is really at stake and everything will always be right back where it was when it started.

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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 9:09:06 PM   
DomKen


Posts: 19457
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Chicago, IL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BentUnit

<wicked grin>

And sometimes it's just fun to poke dumb animals with sticks.

Shhhhhh!

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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 9:21:30 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomKen


quote:

ORIGINAL: BentUnit

<wicked grin>

And sometimes it's just fun to poke dumb animals with sticks.

Shhhhhh!




You have Ken and I in complete agreement, Bent. That should tell you something.


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That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 9:41:57 PM   
BentUnit


Posts: 897
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomKen


quote:

ORIGINAL: BentUnit

<wicked grin>

And sometimes it's just fun to poke dumb animals with sticks.

Shhhhhh!




You have Ken and I in complete agreement, Bent. That should tell you something.



It's good to know I'm not alone in my choice of hobbies.
Maybe we should start our own clique.

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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/16/2010 11:10:28 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
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I'll sometimes write a reply to a post.  I'll read it.  Then I laugh at myself while I delete it.  Sometimes it's just not worth it.  

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RE: mouthing off on collarme - 9/17/2010 12:07:16 AM   
myotherself


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Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
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When I first started posting I got smacked down - hard. I thought it was because I was doing something wrong...so I took a step back, stopped posting and watched.

The people who smacked me down had huge numbers of posts under their belts. I came to realise that there is a great deal of difference between "quantity" and "quality" and even "sanity".

So now I ignore those posters I consider to be ill-mannered/stupid/argumentative/misogynist/whatever...and it makes life a lot better. I still post, although not as much as before.

Sometimes I will poke a troll, but only because I'm bored. But I think mostly I just let it all float on by. It's just not important. If I have something I really want to debate, I'll PM the good people I've befriended through these boards. They are the opinions that matter, and that I respect. Or I'll talk to my r/l kink friends at the local munch or club.

Life is too precious and too short to waste worrying if some faceless person at the other end of a stream of 1's and 0's actually likes me

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